I liked the flow of this poem, and yet I am so saddened by it. I don't think my life could ever replace my dreams, but to go blind and not see what is yet to be...No I want to see it all, the good..bad and ugly!
But hey that is just me! Thank you so much for sharing your talent and Write on!
I really feel this poem is all over the place, do you want to have fuzzy rabbits or are you just stuck in a place that makes you feel young and silly? I am not sure I am getting the meaning right of your poem.
Thank you for sharing your words! Welcome to Writing.com
I could not agree more! The love and grace and complete understanding that comes from the Father's Love, is our greatest gift. I loved your message and I think many can relate to your calm and blessed words. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and talent.
Welcome to Writing.com
Write on!
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1. Follow the prompt. Yes, you followed the picture prompt and you really took me on a trip to that big moon in the sky. I am so glad you used the image to highlight your story!
2. Easy to Read. It was a slow start, but then Lyle took over my mind and I could relate to him.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. No mistakes stand out.
My favorite part is knowing that all roads lead to home, no matter how far we travel.
I think your odds of placing this month are pretty good! What did you do with your pals? Bribe them not to enter?
I think at one time everyone can relate to being played and if they were honest, they would admit to actually being the player. It is not always easy to figure out when you are being messed with, but when you do and you get strong...Nothing is better! I really loved the flow and strong voice in this poem.
Thank you for sharing it!
I hope you enjoyed the suds & shower!
Wait a minute...Didn't Pluto feel like this before? I mean he is so far away anyway...and he had to be like ice. I loved the way you have this poem set up and I can feel his poor lonely heart! It sucks when things change! I don't know if I will ever replace Pluto in my mind. I am old school you know!
Thanks for sharing your talent!
Write on!
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I think Self-Esteem is one of those important issues, that gets over looked too much. I have a friend that is turning 40 and she still has not come into her self yet. I think this is an issue that needs to be taught in school at a very young age. The positive needs to be reinforced. I liked your paper and I am glad you shared this with us.
Lonewolf, your images ROCK! I love all your designs and will have to get a sig soon! I am not sure I need anymore, but wow...I can't seem to help myself. I just love the images. I think the prices are perfect and thank you so much for sharing your talent! I'm in Awe!!
I am laughing out loud! I don't know what is funnier...thinking that is the best 20 minutes of your life or asking a superstar to marry you. Either one is funny in my book! I enjoyed this concert and your writing. Thanks for sharing and welcome to Writing.com!
You have captured my heart with this story. Oh wow I have had some pretty close encounters on airplanes and wow it is so excited and real. Your wiritng just screams to me. I so believe in love and chance meetings and writer's getting lucky! You can have it all.
Thanks for sharing your awesome talent!
Write on!
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If technology has done anything for soicety, it is to help the old guy find his girl! Oh I just loved this story. It is so sweet to think about those finer times. It makes me think of little house on the prarie!
Great characters and setting!
Write on!
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I love swinging! I had a park not very far from my house and spent many hours swing and singing! I loved this simple story of a girl finding her own joy in the country. It sounds lonely and also peaceful. I could find no mistakes in your story and I loved your voice in it.
Thanks for sharing your talent!
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Oh I can feel the horror and pain so much in this poem. I just hate that this is happening so much today. My Niece went thru this a couple years ago. It was horrible and it really took a lot of her real friends to show their true colors. It is a learning lesson for the victim to see, how strong they are. It is just a horrible way to deal with life. Thank you for sharing a real problem that is happening too much!
Keep writing and sharing your talent and words!
Great job with this. I can see no mistakes! Perfect 5 star quality.
My final review of 3 in your winning bid in the Rainbow Auction.
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I have never seen this kind of poetry form, but I love it. I think it is your words that make it work!
To be so honest, to give so much to be you. Awesone! Who wouldn't want to share this kind of intimate revealtion??! Take me as I am! Nothing bad about that!
Thank you for bidding on my auction package in the Rainbow Auction. This is review 2 of 3.
This is so much more than a poem, it is a story. A fariy tale in a way. I was a captured from the beginning, wanting so much for the love to last forever. It can't end in death and yet for her, it really does! Wow you can capture so much in your words. The setting, the wicked witch. The three drops of the fluid that ends it all. Thank you so much for sharing your awesome talent. I am in total awe of your writing! Ken you are one of my favorite poets on this site. I can't find anything in any of the poems that you share then need correction. They are indeed perfect!
Wow, You inspire me and I can't wait to take your poetry class!
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This is my favorite kind of poem. It brings a warmth inside that can't be described. It is beyond beautiful. I love that moment of togetherness when everything makes sense. My favorite image...trancendent bliss. Oh to live in that moment!
However like in the ending of your poem, what happens next...You leave the reader wanting more!
I am so glad you bid on my package, I could review all your poems!
All I keep thinking about is what is happening to a very good friend of mine. It's about cyber stalking and what happens to an innocent person. You write with such description that I am haunted by the darkness of your words. It reminds me that rumors are spoken lies that never die.
I don't know how you can know so much about poetry and forms and I love that you put the defination to help me out..but still clueless! I think I like being in space because I can forget all about the rules and just feel the words.
I feel this is perfect!
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I love to go walking, but what I loved best about this poem, is that you took me with you! I think my favorite line was blazing beauty, to me that is such a vibrant description of a hot summer day and you continue with more sunshine. I love it. Reminders of grace, beauty and dreams...all of that and so much more is found in your words. Thank you so much for sharing your talent.
Thank you for bidding on my package in the Rainbow Auction!
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You have such a strong voice in your poetry. This is so beautiful. A real test of time and commitment and what it means to love long distance! How wonderful that he would have the ring for eternity!
Thank you for sharing a perfect poem!
Hugs,
Michelle
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I am so happy to see this poem hosted by Simply Positive. I know I was deeply touched the first time I ran across this! I think having you here and sharing your writing, opens up my personal view of the world and I am honored to call you friend! Thanks so much for sharing your words!
Hugs, Michelle
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I wanted to see if all your writing was dark. I like thought proviking poetry, I like to see, feel and think when I read. I liked the refrence to being a blank piece of paper, but I do believe we all have a chance to write our own story. I don't think you can ever "get" someone to love you, there either do or they don't. It is not something you can make happen. It has a life of it's own.
Keep writing!
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So it is lucky to be green? I mean the young lad got lucky in the end with his girl friend! I kept thinking this is some kind of strange story, but in the end it made sense! Happy St. Paddy's day!
Thanks for sharing your simply positive and fun style of writing!
I am not so sure all of the world is lacking friendhsip, but it would be a better place if we could all find a way to get along. I believe being a friend is the greatest gift you can give another person. It is all about forgiving and letting go. Thank you for sharing your poetry. You do have a typo... thier love and thier light...their.
Welcome to Writing.com
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Not only is this is a descriptive poem, it reads like a short story. I love the image of the dead city burning in the background as the most important thing happening is the relationship! It is wonderful to be loved and to feel at home, no matter what is going on around you!. Great work and I am giving you 5 stars, to me this is perfect poetry! Thanks for sharing and welcome to Writing.com
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