Nothing is better then having a close relationship with your dad...How funny we were just talking about that. And I go and read this story. Your writing is so great, I can see this all happening right in front of my eyes. Amazing what you can come up with in 15 minutes. Keep writing girl, I love it!
You are on everyone's review board. It is so nice to give you back what you are always promoting and giving. I love this cNote shop! Again the images are so awesome, but the words make then extra special. Thank you for always being here to spread good vibes!
Hugs,
Michelle
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I had to come and take another look at one of your many cNote shops. I love this one, and now I know where to go this Easter. What a wonderful Holiday collection. Do you make these images? I just love them. I think I need more shops!
Write on my dear girl, I love your giving heart to all of us at Writing.com!
Wow these angel images are stunning! What a great C-Note shop! I think my favorite is the angel girl on the swing, that is one of my all time favorite activities as a young girl. I am coming back to check out all your cNote shops. I didn't realize just how many you are home too!
What you fail to mention is that growth will happen naturally. You see something that is important at age 14 is not as important at age 20. That is life! That can help a poet more then just your rules. I add this because of my own true experience. I have been writing poetry all my life. No doubt I could go back and change every single old peom and add more and change it to "todays' standards. I think what would happen is you lose the essesnce of innocence. I don't want to sound like a 40 year old woman when I am 16. Yes, if a person wants to grow and really stretch the poetric mastery of their words then they need to follow some guideslines, but in honesty change will come with experience. Just my personal opinion. Thank you for sharing yours. I found this on the plug it page! Thanks for posting there!
Well you wanted an opinion and you are going to get it. This needs a lot more work. Your past tense words are backwards and hard to read. The word coop is spelled wrong, it is cope. What I find so sad about this writing is not the grammar but the message. Yes, humans are animals. No doubt about it, what makes up above them is a thing called evolution. I believe that is a little more then just our brains. My world is not going to go down the way you think. I believe your negative mind set is very sad. I wish you well.
Are the eyes the inner eyes of truth or the eyes of God's guideance? I get the feeling that all the work that was done to find inner peace is still a work in progress, that you are never really done working at finding that inner peace, it is a give and take of every day and every situation. At least that is what I get from this poem. I could be completely wrong!
Thank you for sharing your view in poetry.
Write on!
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What a clever way of usin titles to write such a funny and entertaining story. Wow I really liked a lot of the movies you used, it was kind of hard to keep myself in the story line!
Thanks for sharing your talent, I can't think of anything to add to make this better. Write on!
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So I am not sure I get what you are trying to say here...I get the whole mytherical thing, cuz this is a complete mystery to me. So if I use my imagination, I could see a person having a cup of coffee, running into a crowd on the way into work and not getting anything achieved. But hey I could be way off!
I am not giving you a five star, because this is the best piece of writing I ever read. I am not giving you 5 stars because this could really use a re-write and some fine tuning in the editing department. I am giving you a five star, because your broken hearts need some healing. The raw pain of this experience is here. It is real. This is life turned upside down. This is the part that can't be explained or talked about. This is your heart for the rest of your life. A piece missing. Thank you for sharing this, never easy to do when the heart bleeds reality.
I love the haiku form because you have to paint a picture with just a few words. You have to make the reader see something and feel it. I liked both versions here. I didn't realize they were asian. I might have missed that in my notes somewhere. Thanks for sharing your talent. I have no advice to offer you. Just keep writing!
Feeling the pain no more, is not really all that funny. I am not big on killing of oneself, but I do get that pain and death can go hand in hand, esp when a broken heart is to blame. I love the emotional part of your poem, but the layout seems week. I also thing a few bits of puncuation would help as well.
Thanks for sharing your talent. Keep writing!
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Oh the pain in this is real, but it is the ending line that makes it all worth while. That freedom to live again and to trust your own truth. I know many relationships that stay together long after it is already severed. You do a great job of showing the pain.
Thank you for sharing your awesome talent!
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I knew I had read bits of this before in Mz Kitty's port. I find it so interesting how you can expand and make your new words paint a beautiful picture. One of my favorite things to do in the summer was swing in the park. I can't imagine having a spot in the woods like that. Too awesome!
This reads like false advertisement! You had me all set up for a passionate exchange...and here you are at the Dentist! YUCK! It is amazing what 55 words can do and how an imagine can be painted with words. Great job!
This is just so wrong! My mom always had her teeth in a glass jar, it used to freak me out. I first thought that was a vampire poem, but oh no....this was much more then that! Wow, thank you for this image. I shall laugh all day about it!
Light and dark and all the gory details. Not usually my kind of poetry. I do like the simple message, but not sure I care for pulling off skin off bones. Yikes. Thanks for sharing your dark vision in poetry.
I bet you didn't know I was a November baby? Or that I have always wanted to visit Capri?!! This means so much to me! You have captured so many of the things I love in this poem. The image, the colors the meaning and understanding of my heart. I am honored by this and am speechless as well. We both know that don't happen very often!
Thank you seems so small. I love this!
Hugs,
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Oh I just love the image of finind the soul in your pocket. It really is a great idea. I would only suggest one thing to improve this and make it a perfect 5 star. I love to see the i...Capt! I is the only way to talk about yourself!
Great job and thanks for sharing. Welcome to Writing.com
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It has been a while sense I have really laughed reading a poem. I so enjoyed this tasty treat. I mean talk about descriptive writing and imagery so clear you can taste it. I have no suggestions on improving this fun write. Great job and thanks for sharing!
I am not sure what kind of substance you are living on, it could be drugs or it could be a real life. I like that you leave it up to the reader to figure out and think about. I love your last line, wishing on a name, means to me, you are wishing on someone you love, not perhaps a star that is not attainable or real. I really like the feeling this evoked while reading it.
Thanks for sharing and keep writing!
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You wouldn't even have to title this Cowboy! I knew by your words, the image ingrained in my mind and memory of old western movies I used to watch! I'm a city girl, so Cowboy's are not something I have ever had the pleasure of seeing first hand, but I almost feel dusty after reading this! Great job with the right words to describe a legend! Write on or is that ride on?l lol
I know this has some words that need to be fixed. I know you are going to go over and re-edit it. I just wanted to give you 5 stars, because the images, the love, the emotion...the Deep feeling of loss is so profound, I can't help but have my heart ache. This is wonderful to share this kind of pain.
I liked the flow of this poem, and yet I am so saddened by it. I don't think my life could ever replace my dreams, but to go blind and not see what is yet to be...No I want to see it all, the good..bad and ugly!
But hey that is just me! Thank you so much for sharing your talent and Write on!
Welcome to Writing.com!
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