This is one of those powerful poems, that has a deeper meaning for the writer, then reader. It leaves me wanting to know more and to ask questions, I have no right to know. Interesting how you have captilized some words, but they are important to you. Keep writing from your heart. It is always important to express our soul.
Yes and he leaves me with a laugh! I knew I couldn't stay in that dark folder for very long, when you have humor near by. I love this! I laughed out loud! I love a dog that can swim and find love in all the right places! OMG your too much! I really enjoyed my trip in your port today. I am so honored you bid on my package. I have totally enjoyed your work. If you can call this work, your writing seems pretty easy to read and enjoy! Thank you again for offering such a great variety in your writing!
Is it possible for you to write a bad poem? One that is not filled with so much emotion and vision? One that does not dance across my heart and touch me? Wow is all I can think of. An Ebony snowflake and a memory. Dark, deep and stunning. Perfect!
Who has not stood next to the ocean and felt small? How can you not ponder those life questions when surrounded by beauty? I love how you took me to the beach at night in this poem. How you gave me the sand and moon and jeweled driftwood. I can taste the salt on the air and know exactly what an incredible moment in time that was. I shared it with you in your words. Excellent! This was so awe inspiring! I am so glad you offered this as one to read, I would have hated to miss it!
Offering a light to all those that need it, I love that beautiful and simple wish. You really have one of the most generous hearts. I admire your strength and determination and your giving heart. I love the stars and set up of your web page! I have enjoyed the trip! I can not think of one thing that could make this better! Perfect! Just like YOU!
The Imagery in this poem is so pretty and powerful! You take on a strom both outside and inside the soul. You bring calmness and determination to your words. I really liked how this poem moved from one area to another and yet it is really just beginning. Great job and Welcome to Writing.com
Maybe this is not perfect poetrty, but it sure is darn close and sense I couldn't think of anything to improve it, I am give you all the 5 stars I can. Now this is very powerful, because in my mind this can have many implications. A life, an abortion, a sucide. It is all what you interupt it to be. Interesting, and more proof that we don't live in a vaccumm! Welcome to Writing.com
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Can I just say, I love your login name! I have a twin brother Matt, so I kind of like that name! Anyway...about this poem! Living in the moment is all we really have. We can find love, love and still lose time being selfish and absent minded. I really like how I felt when I read this poem. You inspire me to think and dream and feel. Good things for sure!
Thanks for sharing your talent!
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How lucky to end completely drained and yet some how refreshed. I loved the imaged that played in my mind as I was reading this. You do an awesome job of reacreating the moment. Thank you so much for sharing your awesome talent.
I am taking a mulitcultural class for my masters in counseling, and right now, we are talking about how small our world is becoming. Reading this is very inspiring to me. I am an American girl. I would love to travel and go some place, but my time has past for that, I am a 44 year old woman and mother of two and married. I have made my choices already, but yours are just starting. I wish you would have said, where you come from. What country did you leave to come to school in America? And why here? If you know you have to return? I wish you well on all your journey and Thank you for a brave letter.
Hey dude, a rock star? a California boy, a song writer and your greatest job, Dad of 4 girls! I know your moving soon, I thought I would come over and tell ya good luck! I am so impressed. I'm going to have to check out your songs! Take care and see when you are all settled!
I am always looking for Sigs and things to make me happy and wow have you got a collection!! I love all you images and I will be back! Thank you so much for sharing your talent as an artist! I love that so much!!! I am getting Image One, I will send the gift points NOW!
1. Following the prompt. Okay, you were not in the Savannah, you were in a pet store, but I will allow it for making me laugh!
2. Easy to Read. Not only was this easy to read, it was a great story! I think my favorite part is your line about armour of Levi and Gap. I am not sure why that line made me laugh!! You are a very clever and funny writer. I think a part of me really believes this happened! PSTD is a very serious condition! I am so happy to see you recovering so well.
3. Errors/grammar. I am not an editor, so for me to find mistakes, they must really stand out. None did! I don't know why I am hungry for Chicken!
Oh yes, you point out some beautiful images. I liked this very much. I think it might look better if you Cap each sentence, but that is only a small distraction from your words. Great job and Thanks for sharing what it means to be human, sometimes even at age 44, I am still trying to figure it out!
I liked your message and I should tell you, even a warrior of the Lord should have some power in his i. Please go back and use the I like you mean it! Proper grammar is a must if you want to be taken seriously as a writer. It does count in the big picture of life.
Hello Crystal Lane,
What an interesting life story you have! I have to say, I am really impressed. For one, I am scared to death to take care of the bills and yes, eating out at $200 a month is a lot of MONEY! I know because I have nickled and dimed myself into debt. I spent it on food. I should have so much to show for my debt but sadly I don't even know how to spend my money on things to show off! You can do it and I know you will. As far as writing goes, you need some editing done on this piece, just a few misspelled words and such.
I read a wide variety of items at Writing.com. I love poetry best. I write it from my heart and I know what I like when I read it...I really like what you have here. It is stronger then a poem. It is bigger then a book. It is deep and fresh and real. It asks questions and it delivers answers. It can be sung and it can be lived. I really enjoyed this. I can't give you more then 5 stars, but I wish I could! Thank you for sharing it!
Keep writing and sharing your soul!
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I wonder why she would move the body...always the quilty ones move the body!! She blew it! I suppose she did blow it when she started having the affair. Interesting to say the least! You hooked me and I found no mistakes, so I am offering you 5 stars!
Write on and Welcome
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A gift worth giving is a gift worth waiting for. All woman's hearts are not created equal and neither are all mens. We all come with baggage. I hope she was worth the wait to give your heart too and that you continue to cherish the thoughts behind this romantic poem. Thank you for sharing it and Welcome to Writing.com
Write on!
Michelle
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The words echo a broken heart and a life that is no longer worth what it was before. I think in your frist line you mean windowscreen. Some of your word choices are very hard to understand but I do get the total message of your poetry. Thank you for sharing it and Welcome to Writing.com
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Wow this rocks! I don't know much about music, but I know enough to love it when I hear it and I could sing this song and totally relate to the pain in it. I also think it could be sung by a male or female. I can't see anything that needs to be changed. This is 5 star work!!
Thanks for sharing it and welcome to Writing.com!
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So this is a contradiction. As I see your name is still Broken Angel....but your not the girl behind the name anymore. I really liked the imagery and can actually feel some of this..it feels all to familiar with my own life and my own story. There is such power when we can dream our own dream and live our own life. I wish you well and I hope your wings are always ready to fly!
Thank you for plugging this poem. Being a mom with a young daughter I had to read this. I have to say I don't think I have ever seen a poem with so many "quotation marks." I get the story line here and it's actually honest and funny. You start out very strong with the imagery and pearls and scissors and yes, my girl has cut her hair! Thankfully...not my pearls! lol I suppose if you wanted to make this stronger, get back to some conversation and less quotes and I think you would have a stronger poem. That is however just my opinion. Thanks for sharing your talent.
I am offering you a five star rating...not because this is a perfect poem. No, I am sure I could find something to make it better or with more imagery or whatever it is that poetry rules are suppose to be. Only I don't want too, because I really like the message of this poem. I like to think that after 6 years a letter can change a life and that second chances can happen. 6 years is a long time, and a new start is brave. I wish you all the luck in the world if this is a true story, keep writing and sharig your story!
I wonder how many people can relate to this poem. I think at some point we move away from our friends and we create new friendships and new things happen. I think if you are open to grow you will see that moving on is all part of the plan. You just keep moving forward and make new friends.
Write on and Welcome to Writing.com
Michelle
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