Your words rain down like thunder and you can really feel that this is much deeper then just some crappy weather, this brings to mind a deep depression and a failed feeling of inner joy and success. I really can feel like more then rain is falling down. Great imagery and imagination of hte acid rain burning your flesh, very visual. Thanks for sharing your feelings and writing.
Oh have I been in this place before. I hate when my husband travels and I miss him so much. He really is my best friend and just to know he is in my house with me makes me feel better! I can understand this poem and can not think of one thing that could make it better. I get it, see it and feel it.
Thank you so much for sharing it.
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It was the last stanza that made me say wow! It was your first stanza that made me want to read this poem. I haven't heard the word boogyman in a very long time and it was and is something my parents wanted me to fear. Amazing that you could bring that emotion alive in this writing and tell so much about who you are, your not a boogyman at all. Your simply misunderstood and sensitive. I love that. I love the human element in this poem. Thank you so much for sharing it.
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I am not completely familiar with the rules of a Haiku poem, only I have seen most versions are three lines. I do know it must convey a clear message and have imagey that is reflected in each line. This does that and then some! I can see so much in this short poem. I can feel the empty theatre and yet, you can get a feeling of ghosts and the passages of talent left behind. Great job and thank you for sharing it.
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I know I am giving this a 4 star, when it does need some work on punctuation. You have a few lines that could be put in better stanza's. I do think over-all I really like your message and how sweet this is. I love the last line, it almost could be said about a kid to a parent. That trust we give to our parents to hold us and keep us safe. I know or at least I think this is about a relationship or a very good friend or lover.
Welcome to Writing.com and Thanks for sharing your talent!
Write on!
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Okay, if you can sit down and just write this, I am in awe! Not only do you describe Adam and Eve with such clarity, but all of mankind is represented in this poem. It is filled with images and emotions. It is broad and simple and yet the words are complex and they make you think. I love poetry that gives back to the reader. This is truly a delight to read and understand. I find no mistakes and I think it is perfect, so from me, you are getting 5 stars. Thank you so much for sharing this and Welcome to Writing.com.
Write on!
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& Proud Cheerleader of the Paper Doll Gang Newbie's.
You are making me wish for younger day's today! This is so sweet and what a wonderful way to describe such young and innocent love with a Valentine's Dance at school. I can see the big gym and all the balloons and the world is invisible in their eyes. Oh I wish I could go back to High School. I was never a queen but I was young and in love! Wow thanks for taking me back to that!
How lucky are you? Wow reading this made me so happy and I could see your life unfold in your visionary words. We grow, we live, we share and season's and Holidays keep coming around and around. You are so lucky to grow up with a Grandma and a Grandpa. My Grandpa's were already gone when I was born, but I will never forget Grandma! Family is a great thing!
Thank you so much for sharing your season's and memories!
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Oh reading this is like hoping for popcorn and a sneak sip of mom's coke! I loved those TV shows and I am so happy I have the channel TV Land so I can watch them over again with my kids. It is true life was so much simpler. You didn't have to worry about the commericals offending your family. I so miss it! Great writing and I see no flaws in your memory or writing!
Thank you for sharing your poetry!
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This is the kind of poetry, my teacher is trying to get me to write. It is filled with visions of the heart and soul. It takes you places you have never been and captures something real. I am not sure exactly who or what you are talking about, I get a more personal feeling, like I can make it up, who I want this for and what it means to me. I can escape to the sandy beach and fill in the blanks of my own heart. I like that kind of poetry.
Thank you so much for sharing your talent!
Write on!
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Homework, is it ever finished? Are we ever done learning and trying to impress other's? I doubt it. I am not familar with sims, but I do know the need to escape. I enjoyed reading about your life. I think your opening line, about your wife making you write this when she loved you, is funny. I don't know if you are trying to be funny or not. It just caught my funny bone today! Thank you I really not in the mood to edit this and I could spot no mistakes, I am giving you a 5 star. Perhaps good grades will keep you writing!
I love how Mom's Lesson's are never forgot. Wow you are lucky you survived your Tarzan days! What a cute story of childhood and reality. Funny when your kids you can do anything and be anything, but what never changes..is you will always be a Momma's boy. I have two kids and my parents had 10. I am more in awe of them all the time. This was so well written and entertaining. I can see why it won! Thanks for sharing it with Writing.com!
Bubbles are a fun activity and you bring out the joy in this, I will say the words doleful and despondent seem a little sophisticated for a child. They really stand out as emotions, I don't often see in children. Still it is your poem and your word choice. It just makes a rather bubbly poem heavy. Thank you so much for sharing your talent and enjoy your warm shower!
If only this poem would never end! I really like the dream quality of this poem, I can see the stars and understand the need to stay away from reality. Each Stanza builds on the next until dawn has arrived. Great imagery and I can think of nothing that I could add to make this better. I see no mistakes. Very enjoyable to read.
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I can't even think of what I want to say, I am still laughing! Now I am not so sure this is poetry, I mean, sure it's full of imagery, and yes you have shown emotion and you followed a form and all that jazz, but you left me laughing and I love that! I am still not sure what is important anymore, my pair or hair!
Thank you so much for winning my package at Sherry's Sizzling Auction. It was my pleasure to peak into your poetric world today.
You have made me smile and for that I will be forever grateful!
Have a wonderful day and keep sharing your 5 star talent!
Hugs,
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Your parting words remind me of The Beatles. I think John Lennon, had a song called Imagine.
Your right, just one small candle in the darkness, can light up an entire world with hope. I like how you go into depth about the darkness and offer a way out with the one candle. I think your writing is so clear and easy to understand. I really enjoy reading your strong poetry. Again Thank you for sharing it.
I love the line Bushwhacked. Man that is a mouthful in one word. I agee that our Nation is so ready for OBAMA...I don't think he will have an easy job or that you can undo 8 year problems in one year. I do see him as sign of hope and I do agree this nation needs to feel some pride again. It is just a long road to recovery. Once again, your words are strong. I see nothing that could be improved. Once again my friend, I am happy to offer you 5 stars. I love your poetry.
Thanks for sharing it!
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Thank you for your winning my bid, I feel like the lucky winner today.
Now I have had to put a pet to sleep. It is the most painful exeperience and it put me in a deep depression. I didn't have 15 wonderful years, like you did with Rusty, but I understand the devotion and love. Really, God did create the perfect animal. the Dog is so awesome. I see no mistakes in your writing, I see your best friend and what a huge part he was in your life and I feel your grief. Yes, I think you did a great job of showing is how Great Rusty was and how important he not suffer anymore. Rest in Peace.
Thank you for winning my package in Sherry's Sizzling Auction.
This is review one and what a great place to start. I can understand grief. Even when it is for our beloved pets. I know some people don't believe they are that important, but I am not one of them. So understanding Linda's grief is important if one it to get into this poem with you. I also believe that the symbol of a butterfly is life. Perhaps it is a sign from Rusty, saying Hey, I am not really gone, I am just here in Dog Heaven having a great time. Stop crying for me. I enjoyed reading this poem, I can see nothing that needs to be fixed or any suggestions that I could add that would make it better.
Again, Thank you for sharing your talent.
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If only it really could last forever? You, know the heart only grows stronger after it has been broken. In order to really live, you have to have lost. I know the words you write, I can feel them. You really take a long time to make your point and in the end, you only want them to admit they still love you. I did notice a typo in the A night without moon or starts,
Do you mean Stars?
Thanks for sharing a very personal poem, and keep writing!
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Wow gambling...wild cards...happy faces! It all adds up to a wonderful idea! I love the whole gambling for reviews and maybe getting lucky! This is a very clever idea and Thanks for making it happen! I will have to come back and see how the cards stack up! Good luck to everyone!
Write on!
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Okay, this poem reads like a novel. You have so much going on, the water, the darkness, the moon the end of season and the meeting of two souls and one is lost in the depth of the water. Holy cow this rocks with imagery and emotions for me. I tell you, I feel like your poems are written right for my heart today. I have lost a soul-mate and it hurts. Wow this is perfect!
Now this is the way to enjoy a storm!!!! Oh the imagery and the feelings and seeing it onfold. Wow girl I really like this one. I have no suggestions to make it better, this is what true romantic's like me adore! Thanks for sharing all your passion.
This starts out with a smile and then somewhere I get totally lost. I think I have to read this several times to understand it, and perhaps I never will. Maybe that is what the joke is all about, the tale of life is never completely understood. I just love poetry that makes me think! Thanks for sharing your talent.
Oh you have made me smile and laugh! It has been a long time sense I have been on a rollercoaster! I think going up was always worse then the rest of the wide! You did a great job of writing out the fear and describing it in a fun and easy to understand. Thank you so much for sharing your joy!
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