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2,325 Public Reviews Given
2,325 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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1051
1051
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Received this via random review and I stayed because I wanted to stay. (Think that qualifies as a truism).

Reader Experience

Author picks a baker's dozen of truisms and then majors on 'You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink'.

Commentary

A bedrock of cliches and truism supports the English language culture but this author is bravely attempting to debunk one of them to demonstrate his rising star status and to cast doubt on everything we thought a truism. Apparently you can make a horse drink, solution involves a hose and duct tape. But applying this principle of forced opportunity on to kids and animals may involve visits from child and animal services. But maybe plastic hoses and duct tape were not actually available in the true age of horses so it might have qualified as a truism then but less so now?

Loved the last line: if they die, I quit beating them

Just a few suggestions:

Dogbert relies = Dogbert replies

"squeaky wheel" at first, because I know they can be replaced - main clause needs no comma with because

Thanks for a very amusing article.

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1052
1052
Review of Autumn Interlude  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Received this via random review and stayed because this brought back memories

Reader Experience

A child's first day at school from the mothers perspective


Commentary

I have done this with son and daughter and there is a pride and a sadness woven into this experience. Pride at the confidence with which they moved into their new worlds and sadness at the loss of what was deeply special and will always be remembered. So the child returns from this new world of school and new friends animated and excited by a larger world and shares with it a mother or a father who he begins to leave in this moment. The journey has begun to leaving home, getting married having kids of his own and the space he leaves behind grows inexorably in his absence.

Loved this powerful poem


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1053
1053
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)

Received this via random review and stayed for the love

Reader Experience

It's all about love *Smile*


Commentary

I like most poems about love but you can feel love even though it is much more than just a feeling. It makes us weak but also strengthens us, it does not remove all that is bad but helps us to see it as a God of love sees those things and gives us the strength and perspective to deal with those things in a positive rather than negative way. Jesus on a cross is not blind to the nails in his hands or feet nor the mocking taunts of his enemies and yet he is the personification of love. Love does center us in a way that nothing else really does in what matters. It is distinct from other emotions like fear or hate for instance, indeed it is their opposite. Love can conquer all, indeed has done so through the cross and that sacrifice is eternal and efficacious for the salvation of all. Love is the heart of the Savior who shared our humanity, died for us and saved us. But love is not an irresistible force as it grants choices to people. Love is not love if it is forced after all. So love only brings together those who would love. There are a great many who choose not to love and their eternal fate is different from those who choose to love.

So line by line not sure about the content of this poem. You placed it in the romance category but romance is usually only between a lover and a beloved not all of us together. Romances generally last for less time than eternity.

Thanks for sharing.



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1054
1054
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Received this via random review and stayed at random also

Reader Experience

Death his reviewing the dead victims of corona like a party host welcoming guests to a party. A grim feast has been laid on and screams and laughter fill the void of their misfortune.

Commentary

OK should have realized that genre dark probably meant grim content but still I guess the deaths of family members that have accompanied this Pandemic is still a little near for me. The cannibalistic feast of the dead corona victims was creatively putrid and I think I will need to do some fluff 5 star reviews after this one to wipe the vomit stains off my soul.

Aside from the above emotional reaction to what you wrote which I suppose you can excuse vis a vis the genre and context of writing I do wonder at your theology of death. The dead do not eat or linger in this limbo state between death and resurrection in my theology. Here anyone who is a victim of corona seems to have been brutalized to the point that they can laugh at the discomfort caused to one of their own by eating their very own corpses. I would have thought the ghosts would have been more angry at the bite marks in their flesh than laughing or mocking.

Also I wonder at your capitalization in the description and title. dark dreams could be a branding. But Poems definitely starts with a capital P in the description field. October seems arbitrarily capitalized.

Thanks for sharing, I think, that was very dark indeed.



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1055
1055
Review of Saving Grace  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed because of the title

Reader Experience

Grace had a car crash, she bares her soul in words she writes in a note to Ted, with whom she had a disagreement, thinking she is going to die. Then she is rescued and the note....


Commentary

Must admit I was a little disappointed with the ending as it seemed a waste of good heartfelt writing on Grace's part. Wouldn't it have been better for her to have used the experience as a platform for building her relationship with Ted. Seems a bit like a prayer for rescue where the guy promises to go to church if God lets him off the hook and then he never goes.

Found a small error here:

she could be dead before they finally free her. = she could be dead before they finally freed her.

Thanks for sharing.


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1056
1056
Review of Reboot  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)

Received this via random review and stayed for the bad advice

Reader Experience

So the computer is frozen and the mouse and keyboard are non responsive and he does a CTRL- ALT DELETE!

Commentary

Actually that will not work, in most cases, as you said your keyboard was non-responsive. If the PC is busy best to wait 15 minutes for it to finish, go have a coffee, whatever it is doing, you can seriously damage a PC by interrupting an update. If it remains unresponsive after that pull the plug, give it 30 seconds and then restart.

Of course this might be a metaphor for deeper and more meaningful things but even there the quick fix might not be the best one.

Thanks for sharing, it was funny.

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1057
1057
Review of Nervous Flier  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and liked the poem

Reader Experience

Charismatic hot air may get you the job but it is skill....

Commentary

Amused by the implied contempt for HR department selection procedures combined with a realistic awareness of the hard functional abilities that will keep you the job. It reminds me of the time I wrote an absolute blinder of a CV, and charmed the pants off the HR department, to land a job I was hopelessly unqualified for. That job did not last but I actually picked up the necessary skills while doing it. My CV turned out to be a beginner pretending to be a pro and then ending up as one.

Did the syllable count - a perfect 6-6-6-6 and it rhymes to boot. Wisdom in structure, so a good poem by my reading



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1058
1058
Review of Deja Vu  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the navigation story

Reader Experience

Mike and Jane are lost, the road sign seems to give them a South direction but they cannot find themselves on the map. They seem to have a trial and error approach to finding their way


Commentary

A familiar feel to this story. I used to drive and my wife used to read the map and get us lost. Then we worked out that, for our peace of mind and so we actually got to the place we wanted to, it worked better if she drove and I navigated. Now I have been replaced by Sat Navs and we can both relax and share the driving. But outside the towns here in Germany we still have appalling mobile coverage and sometimes you still need a map. Anyway this story reminded me of that as the implication was that Jane could not read a map and Mike was just following her random advice here and there. Hope they got home

Amusing story, well executed, thanks for sharing.


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1059
1059
Review of Terrible Twos  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed because I remember this time.

Reader Experience

Kids at aged two can throw repeated and terrible tantrums, drive their parents to edge of sanity.


Commentary

5 exclamation marks says it all! A poem on the edge from a parent on the edge! They poop off schedule! They throw tantrums! They give headaches!

Suppose technically 'Terrible twos' should not have twos capitalized. There might be an ambiguity here also as to how many children we are talking about as the word 'I' is used and then the generalized 'the world should get ready for kids' - plural. The feeling comes across loud and clear. But this too shall pass *Smile* Not sure three year olds qualify for the Terrific threes though.

Thanks for sharing



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1060
1060
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the childhood adventure

Reader Experience

Two cousins are naughty and squeeze goop into the lock of a tool shed making is inaccessible when it hardened. They wrestle with their guilt and go home


Commentary

This dialog driven piece was a little hard to follow and I had to retrace my steps a few times to understand the plot. But it was a charming expose of a childhood memory.

There were no obvious stylistic mistakes

Thanks for sharing



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1061
1061
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the novelty

Reader Experience

It is a play on the number 7. Might refer to anniversaries.


Commentary

A five line poem none of which have 7 syllables refers to the number 7. The 3 lines in the middle rhyme. Genre is romantic but there is fear in the poem also. It might have a powerful private meaning but this is not publicly accessible without the encryption key of the private experience referred to. I liked it but did not love it

Thanks for sharing.



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1062
1062
Review of Making Clay  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by first line

Reader Experience

At first I thought he was talking about an estrangement from some woman but then the language got religious and I realized he was talking about God. Life is not a game it is all about Him.


Commentary

Thought this was a very creative way to write. It worked for me though I notice you have not gotten any attention for this piece. I thought the language was insightful and I liked the movement from game and loneliness, to His grace and restoration. Did not find any obvious mistakes.

Thanks for sharing.

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1063
1063
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review

Reader Experience

Despite having suffered pain and injustice the author yearns for the wisdom to understand and exonerate others, despite their random carelessness and his own foolish and unjust heart. But the arrival of an opportune and sacred child has changed his perspective to see all things in the light of a new and glowing miraculous day.


Commentary

The author has experienced pain and injustice, yet recognizes these same tendencies in his own heart. He would want to do better than that, to understand and even to forgive. But the resources for that shift, and that radical new perspective, require the arrival of a new innocence, in the form of a miraculous birth. He could be talking about Jesus, born as a child in Bethlehem, or some kind of inner renewal or maybe even both. Either way purity has entered a broken world and given it new reasons for hope.

Found the language a little dense and demanding.

Thanks for sharing.


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1064
1064
Review of Distant  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and you are my first Pleiades review

Reader Experience

Brilliant description of dementia in a 7 line poem where each line begins with the same letter.


Commentary

Sorry this is going to be fluff review as have nothing negative to say - just wow, very impressed. You describe the brokenness of a demented mind very well, the glimpses of sanity that punctuate the slow deterioration. Sad but powerful. Thanks for sharing.


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1065
1065
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the story

Reader Experience

A tragic misunderstanding as a result of seeing her husband Ryan with another woman Myra results in Pearl shooting her husband.


Commentary

Jealousy combined with misinformation leads to Ryan's death. A sister who did not check her facts before blurting out what her nature caused her to misinterpret is to blame here. A freely accessible firearm in the drawer here in the possession of an unhinged person who would use spontaneously in anger is to blame here. But mainly Pearl is to blame here for not confronting her husband and working this out verbally. One conversation would have saved his life and her from becoming a murderess. Unfortunately domestic arguments like this are the basis for a lot of homicides in the USA. I was just reading a report for instance that says if a woman commits murder it is more likely to be someone they know (60%) of cases and very often their husband. While men commit far more murders they generally kill strangers (80% of cases).

You might want to correct the following:

Listening this = Listening to this

Think you meant "her" here

Pearl took out a gun from the drawer and shot his husband five times in heart

She was too angry that she could have shot Myra too if she had not already gone. = She was so angry that she could have shot Myra too if she had not already gone.

Thanks for sharing


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1066
1066
Review of Set Me Free #2  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed because I have children.

Reader Experience

The author is hurting, with a chaos and multitude of thoughts, swirling around inside her head. Her anxiety is a prison, that prevents her from living and being happy. She wants to be set free.


Commentary

Thought this poem was a very powerful expression of anxiety and a young adult's fight to understand a confusing world and inner life on her own terms and establish the identity and habits that will take her through her life to come. She hides behind a mask of "I'm fine", because she considers this her fight, but at times this fight seems overwhelming.

Often wondered what is going on inside my son's head. Normally we talk, but part of the teenage experience is about finding your own way and therefore a little distance from your parents with your own friends and outlook. I respect that and know that to some extent a parent has to be able to give up their child to receive them back again by their own free choice. Still the mind of a teenager is fascinating and that they may suffer from confusion, anxiety and internal struggles, that at times seems overwhelming is also important to understand. Many teenagers forget that parents were children too once upon a time and went through similar struggles in their own times. The solutions they found to those struggles are very often the ones their children in turn react against. Such is the way of things but there are some lessons that always help.

1) That we are not the only person to go through struggles. That sharing our struggles and listening to others problems puts these things into perspective. Sometimes we need to step outside the maelstrom to see it for what it is, a storm in a teacup.

2) That this too will pass. What currently seems overwhelming does not last forever and will pass eventually.

3) Consider the lilies of the field Matthew 5:26-34

Thanks for sharing what was a really great poem.


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1067
1067
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was fascinated by the passion of this declaration

Reader Experience

This is a declaration of independence and of a willingness to fight against an unspecified tyrant and his rule of madness and of terror. The rebels intend to take back their freedoms, end the terror and plan to use chaos to achieve this. Specifically 2 men must be released from the city by tomorrow. The Kingdom of Dystopia will split off from the tyrants larger kingdom. They will defend their borders.

Commentary

As a piece of writing this powerful and to the point with no obvious stylistic errors. Context is everything of course and it really depends on who you are calling a tyrant, whether or not you have the means to enforce your demands, if necessary, and why these men were imprisoned - was it indeed for an unjust reason? As with many revolutions the rebellions aims of freedom have already been sabotaged by the declaration of intent. They talk of freedom but plan to build a kingdom not a democracy. They say that the new world will be better but they entitle it Dystopia. This could be powerful satire or the outpourings of a deluded conspiracy culture. But as it stands it is well written and interesting. Since the real intent is not made clear I balance precariously on the fence between the two.

Thanks for sharing.


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1068
1068
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was amused albeit a little shocked by this one.

Reader Experience

How should be serve children, by strong discipline, or by no discipline thereby spoiling the child. Are children our future or our impending doom? No the author has instead a perfect recipe of how children should be prepared for serving as a meal!


Commentary

This probably belongs in dark and you might want to up the rating from ASR. This is undoubtedly intended as humor but I could also suggest it as a tool of discipline. Though must admit, "do your homework" - "tidy your room", does not really warrant a "or I will eat you" line on the end. In covid lockdown homes introducing the idea of cannibalism might destroy the harmony that has been achieved thus far!

OK this made me laugh and I hate myself for those chuckles. Deeply disturbing, thanks for sharing.


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1069
1069
Review of Time stand still  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and liked the Triolet

Reader Experience

Refers to 911. Time stands still and revolves around this tragedy.

Commentary

I remember being at work that day in the UK. The whole IT department all stopped work and trooped into the server room where the night shift had a TV. We all watched spell bound as the planes hit the tower. There was a momentous feeling of historical importance to the moment. In a very real sense time did indeed stand still and the echoes of that moment in various Middle Eastern wars and their aftermath are still being felt today.

The poem was great and really summed up the moment forcing my memories of that moment in history back tot he surface.

Thanks for sharing.


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1070
1070
Review of Not new to me  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and liked the theme

Reader Experience

Life is short, rainbows kiss your face, you breathe in the sky, smell some flowers that make life worth living and then you die


Commentary

Our experience of life is brief but there are glories even in our short moments of existence. The kiss of a rainbow, the glory of the open sky, the smell of flowers. For this brief instance of life even the experience of death is worth it.

Was not sure about the last line - "Making life worth dying" which did not really makes sense or fit the rest of the poem.

Your poem reminded me of this verse

The grass withers and the flowers fall,
but the word of our God stands forever. Is 40:8

Thanks for sharing


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1071
1071
Review of Once Upon a Time  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for an excellent poem

Reader Experience

The author describes the experience of Dystonia, that appears to have resulted from being a victim of a car crash. Now as a result basic tasks like putting on makeup or putting in contact lenses are a terrible battle and so many of the accoutrements of beauty must be sacrificed to an involuntarily twitching neck. But there is hope and even treatments for this now.

Commentary

Apparently 1% of the population have something like this and more women than men. It is a relief that there are a growing list of treatments and of understanding of how this works. Those who suffer such thing carry a terrible burden. This poem is clear headed, well written and has perspective and even wisdom: it is not cancer, it is not a child without a nose, but nonetheless the suffering is real. The author educates and causes those who read this to empathize and understand what people with this go through. The rhyming scheme was not entirely consistent 2nd and 4th line and some stanzas missed that. But the poem worked despite this.

I especially liked these two verses:

I found another person
whose body wasn't straight.
I rejoiced to discover a friend.
Yet, cried for their painful fate.

Outer beauty is superficial.
Inner strength arrives to stay.
Love comes back to you
when you give it away.

Thanks for sharing


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1072
1072
Review of The Return Switch  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the strange romance.

Reader Experience

This felt strange, Two people on a vessel of some kind (could be in space, under the earth, in the air, on water or in the land), from somewhere going to somewhere on a mission to bring love to the surface. But one of them does not know what love is and the other needs to be loved so much that it seems to warp her judgment. If they fail to bring love into focus then their target audience is doomed. Or they could flick a switch and return to wherever they came from. Will he miraculously learn how to love in the next few seconds or flick the return switch?


Commentary

Cancelling the mission may be as simple as flicking a switch but turning on the kind of love needed here will require a little more than just pushing a button. It is hard to feel the romance when one of the lovers is as cold as ice and devoid of all feeling. That the salvation of the people depends on him suddenly finding his love button and pushing it seems to lack all perspective of what love actually is how it develops and the kinds of choices that actually activate it

Nothing here was that clear, everything was a little strange, and the mission itself seemed unconvincing and to lack perspective. It was well written but think the plot sabotaged the effort.

Thanks for sharing


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1073
1073
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the Marian theme.

Reader Experience

Poem is about the white robe given to Mary on her assumption to , as the Catholics say to be "Queen of Heaven". The language is clear about her unblemished purity and virginity


Commentary

My mother is a Catholic and conversations about Mary have always been intense ones in our house since my father and I are Protestants. Obviously Mary was at the heart of this and her status. In scripture there are three examples of assumption. Enoch, Elijah and Moses (implied by his appearance on MOunt of Transfiguration). There is a strong tradition of the assumption of Mary and of Thomas who arrived late and missed her death going into the tomb and finding it empty. I can accept that this is possible. But is harder is the rationale for that assumption. Virginity is not a prerequisite for purity as neither Moses or Enoch were. A creature cannot share the throne of God and be called Queen of Heaven and none of those who stand in Gods presence are worthy on the basis of their own immaculate lives, all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, all are there by God's grace and by the mercy extended to humanity by Mary's son Jesus Christ.

But on this day on which a Catholic is inaugurated to the presidency this understanding of Mary has entered the White House and a spirit of reconciliation with it.

Your poem was well written, but seems slightly blasphemous to me.




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1074
1074
Review of What Love Can Do  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was touched by the reconciliation

Reader Experience

A story about lovers making up, forgetting the pains that gave them distance and wars and finding in their love a reason to move closer.


Commentary

Tragedies, jobs losses, going crazy with grief or rage, conforming to the bosses wishes not the wifes, making a living not a life - a list of crimes to cloud the hearts of lovers and cause them to forget for a moment the love they share. Then an apology, empathy, respect, regret, affirmation of beauty, smiles - they move closer and they end in each others arms. Now how do you apply this to the reconciliation of Republicans and Democrats this inauguration day? A chance for healing and a new beginning perhaps.

Thought you communicated the characters of Jack and Jane quite well and helped me to warm to the both of them as they warmed to each other. They seem to fix each others brokenness. Well written, I liked this , thanks for sharing.


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1075
1075
Review of The Perfect Gift?  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and wanted this gift for my birthday.

Reader Experience

Sue is an entitled and rather spoilt girl doted on by Tom. He spends time thought and money to buy her the most expensive mountain bike with all the bells and whistles only to have her dismiss his efforts with the words "Oh Tom it's purple". So then she describes what she really wanted for her borthday was a teleporter. He buys her one but apparently still has not learnt his lesson as she dismisses it with the same words.


Commentary

Funny ending. I just had a discussion with y wife as to why she spent 30 euros on a bottle of super olive oil when it tasted no different to me than the normal stuff which is one seventh of the price. But people with taste buds can apparently tell. That said Sue, unlike why wife, is a really unattractive, spoilt, entitled brat and I do not know what Tom sees in her. But Tom, the real hero of this story should have learnt her color coded reasons for rejection and picky precise tastes by now. Lilac is not purple after all. Must admit I had hoped you would explore something of how this technology could transform lifestyles but was pleasantly surprised by your own take on things anyway.

Thanks for sharing.


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