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2,435 Public Reviews Given
2,435 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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1151
1151
Review of Samhain Unrest  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was hooked by the report of a Scottish festival I had never heard of

Reader Experience
Samhain lies at around 31st October and marks the end of harvest time and beginning of Winter. It is the separator between the light of Summer and dark of Winter and so the occult logic goes is when the veil between the world of the living and the dead is at its thinnest. So a big party is held by the Gilchrist clan and some rather disgruntled spirits initiate a food fight which is now famous in Scottish lore.

Commentary
It is an amusing take on a rather marginal Scottish festival. Most Scots celebrate Halloween or indeed All Saints Day Eve on the same occasion these days. It raises questions as to whether a party would raise the spirits of dead ancestors and describes a pattern to the structures of the afterlife which is controversial. But it was well written and stylistically good and very funny.

Thanks for sharing


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1152
1152
Review of Lost  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was hooked by first few lines.

Reader Experience
Rose is lost in the woods without a map, a spinning compass and with no signal on her cell phone. She wonders far from the path, trips over a tree and then is eaten by something resembling Big Foot.

Commentary
In a day and age that is google maps dependent, the wild seems like another world. You need a physical map and some idea about to read the moss on trees, the sun in the sky and the various other ways direction can be established. Why her compass did not work is kind of mysterious and adds to the sense of being lured to her death. I liked the story which was well written with no stylistic mistakes. The last moment focused on what she saw and while she was in pain from tripping over a log the experience of being eaten was apparently not phrased in terms of agony even though the creature ripped her stomach open.

Very good thanks.

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1153
1153
Review of Woolworth's  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the theme

Reader Experience

This describes a trip to an actual physical Woolworth food and also a retail store in a shopping mall.

Commentary

The last 5 and dime store closed in the USA in the late nineties and in the UK in 2009. The original concept of affordable quality in your high street has been replaced by online shopping today. So I guess this poem refers to distant memories. I was so intrigued by the content I forgot to check the structure. But this is not a poem, there is no structure or rhyme. It is in effect a free floating memory, like virtual Woolworths today in fact, displaying in a square inside my browser but no longer in the mall.

Thanks for the trip down memory lane.

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1154
1154
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued enough to stay

Reader Experience
A terrifying sound in the night turns out to be something more familiar.

Commentary
Thought it was a good suspenseful build up to a funny ending. But there are some issues with your use of tenses and sentence structures.

and the only thing that can be heard was the eerie sound = and the only thing that could be heard was the eerie sound

Very instantly, she felt a pair of unseen eyes peering at her ferociously = Suddenly, she felt a pair of unseen eyes peering at her ferociously

giving her all the possible blood-curdling imaginations = arousing all possible blood-curdling imaginations

She is, sure enough, wasn’t hallucinating, nor is she dreaming because she already pinched herself a million of times but the horrendous feeling never disappeared. = Sure enough, she wasn’t hallucinating, nor was she dreaming because she had already pinched herself a million of times but the horrendous feeling never disappeared.

It’s almost midnight, but she seemed unable to go back to sleep = It was almost midnight, but she seemed unable to go back to sleep

When she thought her dilemma has finally ended, the squeaking once again appeared. = When she thought her dilemma had finally ended, the squeaking once again appeared.

She can no longer stand with it = She could no longer stand it

As she put her hands off her eyes = As she removed her hands from her eyes

I hope the above corrections are helpful. The story was great but it needs to be expressed properly.


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1155
1155
Review of A Shadow of Guilt  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to enjoy the work of a master wordsmith

Reader Experience
Will's wife is dead, he chooses to walk home from the funeral, but lost in a haze seems to get lost. So the journey home takes longer than expected. All the time he pursued by a strange and horrible creature.
He contemplates suicide but persuades himself that might deprive him of ever seeing his wife again. The creature now breaks into the house pursuing him into the bedroom where the grand finale occurs. In shooting himself he kills his guilty conscience also and sends himself to hell.

Commentary
I really cannot fault this. It leaves enough unanswered questions to provoke thoughts after the reading of it also. How did his wife die, why did he not feel guilty for the year before her death, but had done so before that? The descriptive language is perfect, albeit quite bleak and dispiriting as in line with the story. That a person could allow guilt to grow so powerful and so real that it could manifest as a creature so horrifying and compel his suicide and journey to hell is scary stuff indeed.

I loved this line:

Black pines spread bristled arms through the charred night, and the moon cast down a jaundiced glow that seemed more to obscure than to illuminate

Thanks for sharing.


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1156
1156
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued enough to stay.

Reader Experience
He is sailing a boat home then lying on his back to see a vision with his eyes closed. The two actions apparently lead him to his mother who is waiting.


Commentary
The first paragraph is quite sensual, set in a sailing boat, and the second takes us inside. The first has a hot sun beaming down the second has the sun setting to make way for his mothers star. It is all quite mystical and the connection between the two is not obvious and probably quite personal. It is not explained why his mother is associated with a star that must be seen with ones inner eye.

As a stand alone it is both powerful and mystically makes no sense. Thanks for sharing.

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1157
1157
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and it matches thoughts of my own recently.

Reader Experience
Humorous satire critiquing commercialism of Christmas.

Commentary
Well you pulled off the acrostic - spelling out Christmas with the lines of your non rhyming poem. I was a little disappointed with the rhythm and maybe it needed a semblance of a rhyme. Regarding the content, I blame Charles Dickens myself redefining Christmas in terms of a spirit of generosity that ultimately favored a manufacturing process intent on concentrating wealth in as few hands as possible. His "Christmas Carol" attacked the miserly Mr Scrooge encouraging him to give from his wealth but in doing so inadvertently placed a burden on poor families that could not afford to give at Christmas time. Now the whole commercial machine is there to raise expectations in all families regardless of their ability to finance the gifts and lifestyle the adverts portray. The result is a debt explosion that wrecks lives across the world and a concentration of wealth in the hands of the already very wealthy, who benefit from the profits in the process. This has very little to do with the hope and light of a baby born in Bethlehem 2000 years ago.

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Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the hunting.

Reader Experience
Hungry wolves are hunting around a frozen lake in Winter. Their prey stand little chance. A Grisly Bear is apparently their competition.

Commentary
I watched through my binoculars;
a witness to it all.

the competition's keen,
with the Grisly Bear their rival,
a snarling mass of mean.

I very much doubt this is true as Grisly Bears hibernate in Winter. You may have seen wolves but you would not have seen the competition.

Liked the poem which was well written apart from that

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1159
Review of Wiccan Queen  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for the well written poem

Reader Experience
It is a bleak picture of a black clothed, black haired, black lipped yet white skinned Wiccan Queen walking through a dark ruined city under an inky sky. She is revealed by lightning wearing dead dragons teeth. She screams and the bones of the dead bow low.


Commentary
She is the Queen of a bleak rat infested ruin of a Kingdom. She is dressed in darkness and smells like evil and death. She does not sing, she screams to a pallid moon in a soot filled sky and the realm of the dead bows to her. Not the kind of girl I want my son to marry *Wink* There is a distinct lack of life, wisdom, fertility and joy about her. There is a randomness about her walking and her screaming that gives no reason even to dark purposes. She threatens nobody she just is.

Thought this was perfectly written, the rhyme , the choice of words and the rhythm all worked for me.

Thanks for sharing.


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Review of HURRY SUNDOWN  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued.

Reader Experience
The author is trapped in a moment from which he needs to move on. The time to do that is in the sunlight. But instead he walks in circles around his watering hole like a blind Bedouin afraid to start into the desert and to step over the edge of the earth. He is relieved when the sun ends the opportunity to do so.

Commentary
Do dawns scream then taunt? Does the sun lumber slowly while screaming aggressively? Do you explore the desert or the sun, how would one explore the sun?

Actually the language is pregnant with meaning and I understand you are talking metaphorically though pinning down meanings is harder. I felt some of the language conflicted in ways that undermined the images. The dawn screaming but the sun lumbering for instance.

But this was powerful and provocative and I liked it a lot. Thanks for sharing.

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1161
Review of Invidia  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the theme of envy

Reader Experience
The writer describes the envy that makes rivals out of friends and begrudges every success.

Commentary
It is possible to celebrate a friend or family members successes as if they were your own, without bitter envy making your praise hollow and your admiration hypocrisy. Not all things can be reduced to the selfish ambition and will to power that characterizes the envious. I hate envy that cannot stand that sometimes someone else is better, faster, stronger or more creative. When success is merited envy should never exist. Anyway that is my two cents on the content.

There were two spelling mistakes here:

carouse not carous

revel not revell

These sentences were not properly constructed:

But deep inside, every friendship is hiding a bloody rivalry. = But deep inside, every friendship hides a bloody rivalry.

The humanity is fed on this vice = The Humanity is fed on this vice

Thanks for your writing.


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1162
1162
Review of Prima Ballerina  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and liked the parent - child theme.

Reader Experience

A mum that believed in her child Amy, despite her own 2 left feet and husband Jacks opposition, gets her baby through ballet school and onto the stage as prima ballerina in her big debut.

Commentary

It is a simple well written story that inspires parents to look more closely at their kids and ask what talent they should be blessing and sacrificing for.

This sentence did not make any sense to me:

She reminded me of a hummingbird, a tiny bit fluff barely still long enough for her feet to meet the ground


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1163
1163
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and the theme seemed interesting given the recent election.

Reader Experience

The writer reassures Joyce, the person she is writing to, that things can get better. As Obama said "Yes we can!" She describes the difficulties of bringing up 4 kids by herself but she did it and they all have their own homes, children and are God-fearing to boot. She describes past experience of racism in the South now transformed by the victory of Obama. Her story is one of determination and of overcoming the odds. She is happy that Obama is now president

Commentary

I am writing from Germany and lived most of my life in the UK. The whole black white divide in the USA seems archaic to me and is long over due a correction. With Obama and Kamala Harris maybe that correction has begun. Covid19 hit the black community particularly hard , not only in terms of deaths but also loss of economic well being. I think a lot of people are now waking up to the injustices there. But it is examples like Obama or indeed the writer that make the difference in this fight for equal dignity rather than BLM protestors on the streets burning peoples cars. It is the ones that overcome the odds that sell the story that:

"All men were created equal and endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable rights and that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."

Thank you for your well written words which I found inspiring.


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1164
1164
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and liked the story line.

Reader Experience

Tracey is a vulnerable writer whose husband died recently and whose kids are grown up and have left home. She was the victim of a con artist "Michael" who played on her loneliness and so she now lives in much reduced circumstances as a result with her dog Lucy. It was her daughter Frances that exposed the truth on the man. Suffering from writers block she is struggling with her latest novel for which she had already received an advance. She uses the anger and grief of that experience to reengage with her writing project.

Commentary

Not sure about making James Cameron (producer of Terminator and Star Wars films) a serial killer! There is a sort of how dare you vibe to that choice. It is interesting that a skilled wordsmith and successful writer could be conned by the fabricated virtual story of a stranger online. But I guess that writers are human too. These days who knows who was actually behind the con, could have been a woman.

I liked this story and thought you wrote it well, thanks for sharing.

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1165
1165
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and it made me laugh

Reader Experience
The man who mastered football, though not perfectly, attempted to understand a woman also. But having kissed a woman and seen her cry he was confounded. Maybe it is better simply to love women rather than understand them

Commentary

Your well written, stylistically faultless, poem reminded me of that picture with the dashboard of how to work a man and then how to work a woman. The man had a simple on-off button and the woman a complex and bewildering dashboard of switches, sliders and flashing lights, that required sequenced, combined activation that no one could master. I guess I would add humility and respect to the wisdom of loving women. You can read the perfect poem to the woman you love and still get a slap in the face for your troubles.

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1166
1166
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the theme.

Reader Experience
The Summer rains wash away and temper the lovers previous experience. Drenching the pretty yellow dress, sending a plague of wet snails, turning feet blue with cold, covering the world with mud and fierce strong rivers as the days darken with the falling leaves.

Commentary
Powerful and passionate with no obvious mistakes. I liked this thanks.

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1167
1167
Review of Land Monkeys  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the theme.

Reader Experience
Implies that humans are descended from apes and celebrates the diversity of the life of these across the world

Commentary
An A-D, B-C rhyming poem glorifying evolution in a poem for children. My understanding is that the theory of evolution suggests that apes and humans both evolved from an ape like ancestor rather than humans from the apes we see today. Of course, there are also those who suggest that the size and complexity of the human brain, by comparison to that of an ape, is an argument against any such link being made, as it would require an impossible time scale, for such a development to occur by evolution.

The verses itself was well written.

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1168
1168
Review of Get Out!  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Received this via random review and got hooked by the passionate dialogue

Reader Experience

This is an angry exchange between a racist bigot and an off duty police officer who arrests the lady

Commentary

Was not really sure about this one. Obviously the racism expressed is ugly and distasteful, but is it a crime to simply express oneself, if there is no incitement to actual violence. The Police person also used unseemly language in response, calling the old lady a nasty old hag. A world in which people can be arrested for expressing opinions is one that I find quite scary. She has a first amendment right to be a bigot. It is hard to envisage a little old lady being any kind of physical threat to a police person.

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1169
1169
Review of Daughter  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was hooked by its raw emotion.

Reader Experience

This is written as if to a daughter going through struggles. It urges love to triumph over anger. It pleads for pride to give way and to see in disappointment opportunity for future strengths. A fathers heart would move the heavens and the earth to spare his child the hurts that life brings, but separated by time and space it instead professes its love from afar and remembers the baby that it once held in its arms with the deepest affection.

Commentary

Love unhinges us from the orbits of desolate worlds. It releases the passions in our heart and gives them true focus. The love of a father for his daughter is primary and mirrors the love of the Divine for his creatures. There is, in this life, pain, anger,judgment, and silly words, like a cloud of darkness, oppressing souls and ruining lives. Yet, with such fatherly affection, there is also the hope that love can triumph over all, scatter the dark clouds, and shine its renewing light into a darling daughters soul.

Simply loved this and found it very inspiring.

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1170
1170
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Received this via "Read & Review" and was intrigued by the theme.

Reader Experience
The poem is about someone who is not happy about the way they looks and longs to change that. But they suspect that if they were able to snip and cut and extract the fluff as they would wish they would probably do it all wrong and still be unhappy with the result.

Commentary
This is a deeply insightful and well written free verse. Is the problem of self esteem an objective or subjective one? Can exercise, sleep and good diet transform the situation ot a new look and outfit or is this something else? Is the appearance the key or the attitude towards what is seen? Is self correction the answer to low self worth? Personally I believe we all have an essential dignity but often have to dig deep to find that in ourselves and others. Being content with who we are and comfortable in our own skin is a major rite of passage for us all. There comes a moment when the taunts of the crowd no longer reach us and we find an inner peace about who we are, warts and all.

Loved your thought provoking poem, thanks for sharing.


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1171
1171
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed cause the approaching fire sounded exciting.

Reader experience

So a fire is burning in the forest and headed towards Nightingale Clearing but the nightingales are still singing so Roy is not worried. Meanwhile Lydia later joined by Brock are freaking out. CeeCee and Roy know and trust the forest lore, as long as the Nightingales are singing they have nothing to fear from the fire. Wildlife, including wolves, collect in their yard and finally the fire changes direction towards the town that Brock and Lydia wanted to run to and away from them

Commentary

It is a lovely story and there is often a wisdom in such local folk lore that deserves respect. But I think I would have been on the porch continually monitoring the fire nonetheless with Lydia and ready packed just in case.

Found one small mistake:
She went into the house, while Brock joined by Lydia sit down on the top step to watch the fire = She went into the house, while Brock joined by Lydia sat down on the top step to watch the fire

Thanks for your story.

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1172
1172
Review of LOVE  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and liked the simple message

Reader Experience

Love each other just like you have been loved by God. Simple actions can demonstrate love and build another person up

Commentary

Worthy writing that prompted me to think about the airport arrivals scene at end of that film "Love actually". So many love stories intertwined into a single narrative. God reads the love stories we write with our actions and smiles

Anyway thanks for the edifying thoughts

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1173
1173
Review of Embers  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and liked this.

Reader Experience
Is this just cardboard burning or a metaphor for something more.

Commentary
We have a fireplace and I love to watch fire. The fires I have watched die have never done so with a last pop and flurry of sparks but rather with the fading of the last smokeless embers into a black pile of ash. But you had some good lines in this - "it had nothing more to burn" which like all good poetry points beyond the mere fact of a fire dying.

This sounds like one of those spontaneous poems that just came together in an instant. Very good and well written, but I have never seen a fire die like that.

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1174
1174
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and thought it was funny.

Reader Experience

A practical joke in an airport by Hami might mean that Jack will miss his wedding rehearsal with Rhianna.

Commentary
Hilarious end line, it sounds like I should have heard it before, but I have not. The writing was engaging with no mistakes. It was kind of a stupid thing for Hami to do in this day and age.

Thanks for writing.

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1175
1175
Review of The City of Peace  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
This is the second piece by you that has come to me via random review and I only clicked the button twice. Guess this is the day we interact then. It has a different tone to the last piece which was rather dark and bitter.

Reader Experience
This describes a naked woman singing praises to "God" in a green field, in celebration of the light. The prayer reflects the natural rhythms of the planet - day - night - day. It is directed at the everlasting sun, from the cradle that love has made.

Commentary

God and Gaia may well be confused in some kind of pagan vision here. The whole scenario reeks of pantheism rather than a transcendent God. Most religions have their priestesses in robes but this one sounds pure, reverent and pretty and very naked. The piece itself is well written and has a far more positive tone than the last one I just reviewed, the words are full of love and light. Could be Gaia herself is the naked woman singing to God. More likely likely the references to an everlasting sun and eternal song imply an unending nature worship with no beginning or end.

This was well written even if I radically disagree with the spiritual content of this. Thanks for sharing.

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