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2,325 Public Reviews Given
2,325 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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1176
1176
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the powerful story.

Reader Experience

The author shared a painful memory of Christmas, following a break with a person he loved but who had betrayed him and lied to him. He went through Christmas unable to really enjoy it and behind a mask of festivities and food, but inwardly grieving the loss of his love. He has learnt a powerful lesson from this experience.

Commentary

I arrived at your piece just following a really hot love poem which I also reviewed. So it was really topical to me to consider the theme of idolatry. When we make a flawed and sometimes naughty human being into a goddess, we are probably heading for disappointment, somewhere down the line. I think that what makes marriages work in the end is honesty and a sense of humor. You really have to learn to laugh at yourself, for ignoring red flags, like the ones you ignored, and for being so easy to manipulate and deceive. You are not the only one, there are so many examples. But I thought you expressed your story very well and it was interesting from start to finish, so thanks for sharing. It is hard to fault authenticity and there were no obvious errors.


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1177
1177
Review of Going Home  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received by random review and stayed cause it was well written.

Reader Experience
Ralf discovers he has an inoperable tumour which he takes quite stoically. On his way back to his house he decides to go to his parental home town in Clearwater Iowa which he had left for art college in Illinois 40 years before, returning only once to bury his mother. Down lovers lane he meets an old Police Buddy Bill married with kids now and receives an invite to dinner. He finds his way back to an old Oak in the park where he meets a lady called Erica who hugs him but whom he had forgotten. Yet her name was carved into the tree there with his initials next to them. He still cannot remember the details and nothing makes sense but he feels home

Commentary
Another brilliant piece of writing. You had me hooked from the start and the dialog and thoughts were engaging. The journey from Doctors to true Home was a change in his patterns which helped him rediscover who he was, to meet an old friend and maybe also an old flame before all sense and sanity were cancelled by the death sentence hanging over him.

Nothing critical to add to that.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1178
1178
Review of Farewell Friend  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was touched.

Reader Experience
The inevitability of time is mourned as it takes away a friend. Remember death takes away everyone we love in the end.

Commentary
Sorry for your loss, which was well expressed in this poem. Think some wounds heal and others scar. As a man of faith I would suggest there is always hope of a reunion on the other side.

Thanks for your poem which I liked just as it was and would not change.


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1179
1179
Review of The Visitors  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed cause of the subject

Reader Experience
A ghostly presence in the house of a young girl was checked via a Ouija board

Commentary
This is not meant as literature but rather as the sharing of an experience. A great many people in the UK dabble in the occult and the fascination is quite unhealthy in the modern British culture.

It is Ouija board not Ouiga but you seem to have recognized that as a mistake that did not help you much but scared the bajeebies out of you.

I do not actually believe in ghosts and think that what you experienced was a demon. Why it considered itself to have a right to "haunt" that house and your family,and why it chose to manifest as it did, is a little mysterious. But these things are not a good focus for your attention. Better to pray, think about God and angels and to leave the occult stuff behind so that it cannot follow you around.

Resist the devil and he will flee from you, as the bible says, but that only works with a real faith.

I checked Lindsey and Tracey and they wee fast asleep = I checked Lindsey and Tracey and they were fast asleep

Anyway that is my two cents on this. Thanks for sharing your experience.


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1180
1180
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Received via random review and liked the concept

Reader Experience
Beau is lacking a certain Ummph factor which he attributes to a lack of inherited Neanderthal genes. The transition from smiley to moody required hard education and the development of a splicing technique. Now he is finally ready to make the plunge to transition from pure Homo Sapiens

Commentary
I was interested to read that most humans share Neanderthal genes with the exception of Africans and that some combinations may actually make a person more vulnerable to covid-19. Overall they had shorter limbs a more robust build that might help them survive cold and similar sized brains to ourselves. I am pretty sure I have met a few even though they are meant to have gone extinct some time ago. To me this genetic history is an example of the flexibility of the human genome and its adaptability. We have all sorts of strange looking relatives as a result.

Anyway cannot fault your writing. So 5 stars.
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1181
1181
Review of Enlightenment  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and it made me laugh.

Reader Experience
Amilcar thought he had achieved a higher plane but found out he was just high.

Commentary
OK there was Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz and maybe several hundred million others who have confused a drug high with a spiritual experience. This is why words are so valuable setting limits, defining right and wrong, articulating quality and exposing the crass, the fake and the high.

Thanks for the funny thought.

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1182
1182
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
This has now come up twice via random review so I thought I would give it a go.

DeepL translates it like this:

I love you.
Just One Cup of Acacia
Drunk in Li Qingzhao's poetry
I love you.
Sitting Alone at the Table
Writing Poems with Tears and Rain
Love Poem Pages for You to Read Only
You Love Me
Only one song
Let Yang Guifei listen to the tears of longing
You Love Me
Make only one pair of glass shoes.
Let Me In Love Wedding
Be Happy Cinderella
The Happy Girl Who Belongs Only to You
Title: I Love You

OK it's a love poem and one of those lines had a certain magic to it

"Writing poems with tears and rain"

The rest probably sounds better in the original Mandarin as does Li Qingzhao. But might be an idea to try and translate this into English on what is a predominantly English site.

Thanks for sharing.

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1183
1183
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received via random review and the theme struck a cord

Reader Experience
The struggle to keep that community spirit alive in a Pandemic that has cost us many of the normal patterns of our lives. But communities persevere even if they have taken new forms.

Commentary
Interesting comments and indeed virtual community gatherings have been collecting on my calendar in recent months. I even joined a writers group, in addition to this one, that might end up with a pub visit in the real world when this is all over. Communities will survive but this is costing some people a lot. I see it in church especially. We have actually kept our physical congregation by adding new members, but have not seen many of our most vulnerable members since this began. Some turn up on Zoom or listen to our podcasts but they are lost to the community. Sometimes they come, but nervous about getting too close, you can see that a lot of people are missing a hug and a friendly word in an actual face to face conversation. Some people have seen their links to community shattered by this experience and some who live alone are suffering mentally.

Anyway thanks for your thoughts. Ignore any comments above that do not succeed in building up community.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1184
1184
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and liked the rhythm and the theme of what you wrote

Reader Experience
With faith in my pocket and God in my heart I know I am never alone.

Commentary
I liked the rhyme the rhythm, sure it sounds even better to music. It's a song about faith and it has an upbeat message that people need to hear.

Loved it, thanks.


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1185
1185
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued enough to try and unravel the tangled genealogies revealed in it

Reader Experience
A complex set of family relations and histories are revealed, courtesy of shared memories and an extensive genealogical library in the attic

Commentary
The dialogue was well done and keeps the reader engaged. The complexity of the history is quite difficult to remember and to make sense of. But it seems there was a great grandfather that spoke Spanish, a grandfather Alex Woodrow married to Heather who had two sons - Cleo and Jasper. He was horrible, but then when he started writing a diary he became nice. There are 4 adopted children under Cleo including Theodore(nay Anna) the oldest, Francis who became a doctor. Papi. Then there are Dylan and Millen and Adrian who might be related to Papi but not sure. The chapter begins with them having just completed another diary from a Grandma Catrina who might have been married to Mt Tuscano. There is mentions of the Texas war of independence, Sicilian roots and even Brooklyn New York. It is all very intriguing but demands a lot from the reader by way of concentration. Maybe coming in at Chapter 22 I missed a lot that led to this and missed also what followed in the later chapters.

Regarding the style and professionalism of the writing there is little to criticize. But must admit I leave this a little lost and confused.

My problem not yours, thanks for the mental challenge and please ignore any rubbish above.

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1186
1186
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the political theme.

Reader Experience
Franklin Ford has been elected senator ousting the 4 term incumbent Michelle Maserati. He brings with him an idealistic desire for change which is what he was elected for. Michelle shows him around the office and introduces him to her understanding of the reality of Washington politics. This is a place where money rules, where lobby groups dictate agendas and where compromise is the name of the game.

Commentary
This piece describes the Washington process very well. I guess the last president was elected on the promise of draining the swamp and kept many of the promises that he made while not making some more difficult ones that also needed doing. There are indeed some intractable issues in urgent need of resolution that never seem to get done: health care reform and the deficit for instance. It would be easy to despair and to affirm the system as more powerful than the idealistic need for change, but at some point something has to give. The numbers are simply not sustainable in the long run and so reform is necessary. You write well and articulated the problem very well. There is no solution in here beyond a blind trust that the next candidate to promise change will actually deliver on it.

What will make the difference and break this endless cycle?


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1187
1187
Review of Poemography  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed cause I liked it.

Reader Experience
This is a well written exposition on low self confidence. The writer writes and then is convinced that the people who see his work in the public street smirk and sneer behind their words of praise and fake smiles

Commentary
Actually I liked it, but maybe this is a double bluff and the writer is actually quite arrogant and contemptuous of me as a reader. He pretends low esteem to manipulate me into giving him a high rating. No that does not work because he wrote so well. So then maybe I should tell him that he does seem to have the gift. But then will that ruin that humble power in his writing by replacing his humility with hubris. Ahhhh.. too much, just give him 5 stars and be done with this!

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1188
1188
Review of patterning words  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed cause it was brilliant.

Reader Experience
The poem describes the creative process with exquisite eloquence.

Commentary
I really loved this and cannot find anything to criticize. This stanza especially stood out for me:

I gathered poems together—
sometimes the words flowing
as free as silk through a needle,
sometimes as painfully
as blood from my fingertips,
but as the days passed
the bloody pages
felt as beautiful as the polished
because I had done it.

Sometimes it is easy sometime painful but if the result is what you wrote here, then it is worth it either way.

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1189
1189
Review of Birdcage  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the story line.

Reader Experience
The author describes a caged uninspired emptiness of white space. Having willed a pen and ink into existence, he fills this space with words and creatures of his own creation. But then growing bored and disheartened he tries to explore the place he had created. However it has no limits and he tires of this also. He takes a turn instead into madness until his mind breaks and he is sucked into a world of blackness with white specs. Now he is no longer caged, no longer kept by another, he is free.

Commentary
The creative process described here is of something out of nothing. It implies a captivity to ones starting place that is not escaped by the creativity and outpouring of words on the blank canvas of mind. Only madness can break these creations so discolored by assumptions and limits not set by the author themselves. Not sure creativity works like that for most writers, in practice other peoples thoughts and feelings inspire us to leave our cages and explore new worlds of color and excitement. We can bring some of that color and energy back into our own worlds also. It is often said that madness and genius walk hand in hand but sometimes madness is just the shattering of worlds and end of creativity.

What you wrote was powerful, provocative and immensely interesting. But your words enabled me and anyone else who reads this to climb into the cage with you and even to experience the madness and moment of liberation, so you are no longer alone.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1190
1190
Review of 愛の宝石  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed because I liked the poem.

Reader Experience
Ammolite and Fluorite can be blue or green so her eyes could be either of these colors but lemons are yellow. Her eyes glow with a brightness that reminds him of citrine and he loves her lemony life. Oh no, then maybe her eyes are a spooky yellow after all! Ugh - not feeling the romance. But he begs her to shine on nonetheless.

Commentary
It was difficult to get these 3 words into a poem and you did this very skillfully. The color thing bugs me but of course love animates whatever if finds into a goddess of perfect beauty and color schemes.

Thanks for your poem.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1191
1191
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed cause it was well done

Reader Experience
The palindrome describes tracks and ask the question whether they lead up or down, to beauty or to terror.

Commentary
This is very clever and I was impressed you managed to mirror the two halves so well. The combination of the extremes of fear with peace, beauty with terror worked well. Though fear seemed to dominate the dark side while the light had more options: beauty and peace. Not sure if that reflected an unwillingness to reflect on the darkness too deeply or a built in preference to choose the Light.

Anyway loved it and thank you.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1192
1192
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the story line

Reader Experience
Being land rich in West Virginia does not guarantee an income for the Kessel Clan. So they have always concealed various more profitable ventures from the public eye. Historically they moved from moonshine to Cannabis and now they are planning their next venture. It seems that they are now at a greater risk of exposure because of the activities of a coal mining corporation in the area.

Commentary
Maintaining such deceptions and illegal sources of income is increasingly problematic in the age of google maps, drones and wider access to information. Accountancy standards have improved and the IRIS have more efficient ways of sniffing out alternate revenue streams. Of course the Kessel clan could always try farming! Failing that how about Fracking!

I liked the story but there seems to be one small contradiction as the land behind their illegal area is both a national forest and a coal mine.

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1193
1193
Review of Her Bitter Pill  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed caused I loved it.

Reader Experience
A wife left a man a bitter pill to swallow. Much later its taste still lingers

Commentary
It seems like a bitter break is described here, no doubt advertised, by her, at the time, as a cure to ongoing problems. But clearly on reflection it did no such thing. This was her truth not yours.

You write powerfully and articulate the emotions here very well. I need to eat something sweet now get rid of that bitter taste in my mouth.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1194
1194
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Received this via random review and was inspired to interact with the passage.

Reader Commentary
This is an exposition on Luke 18:18-30 - The Rich Young Ruler

Commentary
One can just imagine the smugness of this guy, rich in the things of this world and thinking himself qualified to interact with Jesus himself. This smugness strutted in a world of deep inequalities where the plentiful poor could starve if they lost employment and where oppression and injustice were common place.

He calls Jesus good, but only God is good and Jesus's answer forces him to reconsider who he is talking to. If Jesus is good, which He is, then He is also God.

The list of commandments shared by Jesus is most interesting for the ones he leaves out. All the God facing commandments and the one about covetousness. The mans problem was his secularism and his greed.

So the one thing he needs to do, to inherit eternal life, is to give up the things that bind him to this world and to take up an entirely new focus and trust in Christ. The challenge was too radical for him to bear and so he went away sad.

Anyway thanks for an edifying read.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1195
1195
Review of Our World  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and liked the content.

Reader Experience
This reads like a prayer and a proclamation. The prayer is for God to heal our world and the proclamation describes the situation and what the author wants to see happen.

Commentary
A world of sorrow and pain can overwhelm faints hearts, but prayer is a good way to renew our strength and to rebuild our confidence and hope in a better tomorrow. The author envisages a better world and who can fault them for that sentiment. But these sins and this brokenness is not new it has been here for a long time.

Enjoyed this thanks.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1196
1196
Review of Shelter Dog  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and liked the theme.

Reader Experience
Chance is a dog that never seems to get adopted until he clicks with the right family for him

Commentary
Enjoyable read, thanks. There were a few mistakes which need correcting and you might want to break up some of your sentences with commas and full stops:

was eight weeks old and full of energy to much work evidently = was eight weeks old and full of energy. Too much work evidently...


soon retuned to the shelter = soon returned to the shelter

One human said I was to sickly = One human said I was too sickly

I was so exited to get to meet = I was so excited to get to meet

Thanks for the heart warming read.

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1197
1197
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (1.0)
Scalable Vector Graphics
Are not at all ecstatic
That somebody plays so badly
With SVG tags so holy.

The alert is not appearing
When onload is calling
And can you blame her saying no
when he calls so rudely for her to show.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1198
1198
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Received this via random review and was impressed by the genuine feeling in your writing

Reader Experience

The author describes her feelings for Keno and the ups and downs of their interactions in a letter. They were never a pair but shared some special moments.

Commentary
The content and feeling in your writing is fabulous. But you really need to work on proof reading what you write. There are a great many mistakes or poorly constructed sentences.

These are just some examples. Tenses are something you really need to work on and you need to be consistent. You are talking about something that has happened.

my eyes in each of your move = my eyes on each of your moves

The days passed by and I already have a group of friend while you also do = The days have passed by and I already have a group of friends as do you.

That time i always wonder what it feels like to get close to you = In that time I always wondered what it would feel like to get close to you

the event that I look forward had come = the event that I looked forward to had come

i am already walking on your side= i am already walking by your side

My mind went blank as our skin touches, nothing in the stage can’t compare to your bright smile up close = My mind went blank as our skin touched, nothing there could compare to your bright smile up close

That day i already know it already something more than a simple crush = That day i already knew it was already something more than a simple crush

kind heart towards other people specially in elderly = kind heart towards other people especially the elderly

While walking, you shared me your umbrella = While walking, you shared your umbrella with me

We drink a bit of beer and when it rans out and they go out to buy some = We drank a bit of beer and when it ran out they went out to buy some

In a small room the two of us are trapped on awkwardness = In a small room the two of us were trapped in awkwardness

You write with feeling and passion but the language is the framework with which you communicate that to the rest of us. If you can master the rules of tenses then what you say would be more understandable and vastly improved.

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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1199
1199
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and thought that I could help.

Reader Experience
This is an English language learning exercise that discusses why virtual shops will never completely replace physical ones.

Commentary
Since this is a learning exercise I hope the following corrections are helpful:

Another reason is that online shopping cannot be considered as a leisure activity which allows one to plan and spend their free time actively = Another reason is that online shopping cannot be considered a leisure activity which allows one to plan and spend free time actively


as we do not put any effort to step out of our monotonous daily routine = as we do not put any effort into stepping outside of monotonous daily routines


A recent survey suggests that an increase in online shopping has hampered the weekend physical shopping activity with family or neighbours = A recent survey suggests that an increase in online shopping has hampered weekend physical shopping activity with family or neighbors (You need to make a choice between American and British English e.g. with neighbors. Generally you use American)

To epitomize = To Summarize

Thusly, albeit online shopping is growing exponentially, shopping by visiting the shops in person will still be popular keeping them active across the cities = Consequently, while online shopping is growing exponentially, shopping by visiting the shops in person will still remain popular keeping shops open across our cities

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1200
1200
Review of Ielts  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
Received this by random review and stayed cause I have teenager children.

Reader Experience
The author discusses the pros and cons of teenage employment as a part of an English language test.

Commentary
Since it seems this text was meant to be a learning experience for you, please allow me to point out some of the errors in the text:

young adults doesn't hold the future of the country = young adults don't hold the future of the country

Undoubtedly, there participation = Undoubtedly, their participation

commas
e.g.
participation in any area can bring = participation, in any area, can bring


One of the most significant advantage of part time job is to earn money = One of the most significant advantages of a part time job is to earn money

money due to which teenagers can carry their own expenses and don't rely on others = money with which teenagers can carry their own expenses and not rely on others


amending to the rules and regulations by the authorities at work = conforming to the rules and regulations of the authorities at work

They also develop the value of hard earn money = They also grow to appreciate the value of hard earned money (British English you can use earnt, Americans will insist on earned which works in both cultures)

and often result in poor academic performance = and this often results in poor academic performance

While part time jobs not only disciplines the teenagers = While a part time job not only disciplines the teenagers OR
While part time jobs not only discipline the teenagers

Hope the above is helpful for your continued learning

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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