\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/39
Review Requests: ON
2,435 Public Reviews Given
2,435 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 35 36 37 38 -39- 40 41 42 43 44 ... Next
951
951
Review of Mother Nature  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued

Reader Experience

Mother Nature is personified. She is angry at what man has done to her creation and is bent on revenge and clean up. So deep darkness falls upon the earth for a season and great storms and earthquakes. Those who survive wake to a new world when the darkness passes.

Commentary

Nature is quite brutal when considered on its own terms and without reference to God. From my Christian perspective, the first human profession was as a Gardner and then as a farmer and we have not been good stewards of what we have been given. We trample and destroy what we have barely begun to understand and we break the harmony that exists in creation by doing so.

The first line in a story is important and yours was too long and could be broken into two.

picturesque panoramas of beauty with each etched = picturesque panoramas of beauty, each etched

variety, and life but to no avail or respect from humanity. = variety, and life. But all to no avail as humanity continued to disrespect her.

Global judgments are quite devastating to all parts of the ecosystem and not just to humanity. A considerable loss of species diversity and the breaking of the harmony of complex ecosystems might all result. Destruction is not the best route to a new start.

Thanks for sharing.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
952
952
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and stayed to hear what you had to say to Breast Cancer

Reader Experience

Well, Breast Cancer can take a flying leap from a high cliff or skyscraper. It kills good people and does not deserve to live. This is personal as a friend died recently. We are coming for you. Breast cancer you are going down.


Commentary

Earl had breasts!? Actually just googled this and 1 in 100 cases involve men, mainly older ones. So that was a surprise. The fight against cancer is a worthy cause and the desire to eliminate this is a good one. If cancer could be personalized then I guess it would be a kind of deformed psychopath who goes around killing indiscriminately. I guess fatter people with poor diets and more vulnerable, people who smoke or in certain occupations but you are right there is little sense of justice in the ones it strikes down and the ones it spares. There is some exciting researching going on right now. Indeed the BioNTech vaccine uses advanced RNA techniques originally developed to fight cancer. Maybe we will see some proper treatments in the next few years that do not involve amputation, surgery, or chemotherapy. Anyway here's hoping you live up to your name Dr.Cure.

You might want to correct this line:
You are a cold-hearted killer but know thus! We will beat you! = You are a cold-hearted killer but know this! We will beat you!

Thanks for sharing

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
953
953
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for the teen drama

Reader Experience

Katheryn wakes to sunshine in Phoenix but with an uneasy feeling that something is not quite right. She has plans to meet her boyfriend they need to discuss how they are going to handle the ending of their senior year. She goes to the kitchen to make a lunch to share with George. Someone left a coffee cup there and it has marked the counter with a ring. Apparently, the mum is a bit of a cleaning Nazi and will freak out about that. But attempts at remedial action end disastrously as she smashes her mum's crystal salt shaker. While she is desperately cleaning up her father returns and helps her out. He seems like a calming influence and he promises to handle the mum. Then they hear the keys turn at the front door...


Commentary

I was running through the sequence and it seems both the father and the mother have been up for some time and even gone out doing Saturday morning chores. So this is a typical teenager lie-in we are talking about. Waking up to an empty house with plans. She wants to clean that coffee stain, and then also the mess with the salt shaker up out of fear and seems to regard the mother as a bit of a prison warden. Fear rather than responsibility seems to be the motivation here. Using bleach on a kitchen counter seems a little dangerous. The father and the mother did separate chores. She seems to like her dad but not her mother so much. Clearly, her plans with George could be completely derailed if a mother loses it on her return. You communicated the teenager perspective in a fascinating way and if this is a real description of family life it seems that the mother is a bit draconian but as a result, the daughter has learned a sense of responsibility. The dad seems protective of his daughter as if he can handle his wife's temper but is concerned for her impact on the kids.

Now I think in my family my wife is probably the terrifying one to my teenage kids. I tend to stick up for them when she loses it on a cleaning theme. I wonder if Katheryn and indeed my own daughter will be just as foul-tempered about cleaning when their time comes. Aside from using bleach on a kitchen counter, this seemed an entirely authentic story which I enjoyed

Thanks for sharing.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
954
954
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and since I just worked a 10 hour day it seemed topical

Reader Experience

We join our efforts for success with fake smiles that can get us into trouble. The work world is a sustained critique of our performance and intentions expressed as joys or regrets. It is good to reach high and for a better quality job. We are meant to build connections without adding toxicity. Having a plan helps us progress. Our expectations should match reality but we should not let our dreams die and keeping grabbing upwards.


Commentary

Some people are paid to interact with other people and others are paid to solve problems. I worked ten-hours solving problems which were plentiful today. I am the only one who could have solved the problems I solved today. I am regarded as being good at what I do. But then I told someone I just did not have time to solve their problem today and suggested a workaround they found offensive. One of their colleagues then threw a toxic tantrum and I found myself dragged into solving the problem anyway. I did it but it leaves a bitter taste being taken for granted like that and coerced by idiots who do not have an "f"..ing clue and now I am exhausted. Working for "success" in my case usually means lots of exams. I have these coming up shortly but with busy workdays, it is hard to concentrate, so I have taken a week's holiday over Easter to prepare for my exam. I worked hard to get into the position I am in and continue to fight to stay in it. Some parts of what you said resonated about the aspiration for success, the balancing of dreams and reality but I think you can only really be successful at something you love doing. I get a thrill out of solving problems but politics is something I hate. The more successful you are the more politics there is though. There is a sort of amicable yet selfish and competitive vibe to most workplaces. It can get quite brutal. Success never seems to be reaching a place where you can just stick your head above the clouds and enjoy the sunshine. We always seem to get stuck in some kind of fog, rain, snow, cold winds. Anyway, maybe this is just a bad day talking.

Must admit I found the phrasing here quite awkward. I liked this line:

Seek quality work by challenging ceilings;
Be socially outgoing, without damaged feelings.

But this one did not work for me:

Will lessen your care for dreams that you’ll nab,
So use your desire while hauling that “grab”!

Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
955
955
Review of Hog  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued

Reader Experience

A small child is put into the hollowed-out carcass of a pig for the amusement of the men who killed it. The mother is extremely angry and he is quickly removed by his father none the worse for wear.


Commentary

This is a provocative vignette. What were the grounds of the mother's anger? It is unlikely that you were in any danger there. But a hog is regarded by many religious people as an unclean animal. Is this the background, was it regarded as somehow demeaning to you to be associated with a wild pig. Definitely not on the scale of former British PM David Cameron and his antics in the Piers Gaveston Society with a pig's head! Or was she worried that clothes might be stained with blood and be unwashable, that her child might be traumatized by the experience? You did not actually say much though you said a lot here. But you are right a photo would have made a significant conversation piece for today.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
956
956
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to meet your Grandma

Reader Experience

The reader describes his connection with his Grandma as something that will endure.


Commentary

The flowers are a symbol of hope and of life. They link you to your grandma and express something of the emotion you feel when you think about her. In one sense no matter how the seasons change and even if she dies she will remain with you in that image of flowers. These will be flowers that will forever bloom inside your heart.

With that in mind I would change the order of this line:

When you move,
I will too,

To

When I move
you will too

Because you carry your grandma in your heart not the other way around and especially if she has since died.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
957
957
Review of In The Beginning  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and was impressed by your faith yet again

Reader Experience

God created, we would not exist without Him. Can we really understand the mystery and the depths of this single act, these powerful words that underpin everything? Ignore the idiots that pretend otherwise the bible reveals the truth.


Commentary

We share this conviction so I am not going to disagree with your content here. The most controversial things you say are the suggestion of Mosaic authorship which is hotly disputed today. Like you, I accept the traditional view as it carries the most weight with what Jesus declared and I think the case for that is more convincing. Here you merely assert that position. Unlike you, I do not believe that God simply dictated these words and that is not the standard model of biblical inspiration. God inspires through people with personalities who write down what the Holy Spirit has given them. We read here truth expressed through a personality which is no less real or true for being that. We have examples where God just spoke through prophets and they were more oracles than interpreters of the Divine Mind. We also have examples where God directly wrote down his commands as with the Ten Commandments. But normally the model was inspirational rather than mere dictation. This distinguishes Christians from Hindus and Muslims for instance where a more oracular version of revelation is suggested.

I was unsure what format you were going for here, whether prose or poem. You could probably lose some of the semi-colons and replace them with full stops or just leave that blank.

You need to watch your tenses. In this stanza for example you moved from the previous present to past tense:

I sat down and ponder,
The height, depth, and power,
The mysteries and vastness,
No words can ever express.
As this life unfold,
This great mystery,
I am here in this world,
'Cause God created me.

I would rewrite it thus:

I sit down and ponder
The height, depth, and power
The mysteries, and vastness
No words can ever express
As this life unfolds
The unfathomable truth
I am here in this world
Because God created me

Also, the last stanza has some issues. You mix plurals and singular.

So you wrote:

Others may teach you otherwise,
And human knowledge may fail,
But what's written in the Bible,
Shall always and ever prevails.

But it should be something like this:

Others may teach you otherwise
And human knowledge may fail
But what's written in the Bible
Shall always and forever prevail

Thanks for sharing your faith.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
958
958
Review of Caress/Evade  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed to hear a man rejected

Reader Experience

She does not want this man's attention his touch or his leering. He does not seem to get that until she says no and then he leaves.


Commentary

Quite a powerful expose on how the woman felt about unwanted attention in the workplace. The man blinded by his desire could not read these emotions. She had to work through fear, through her discomfort, through her disappointment with this work colleague staring at her breasts to find the courage to say no. Men are not psychic they need to be told and he has been so he moves away tearful.

Clearly sexual harassment in the workplace is quite topical. My own experience is of a woman misusing this new legal agenda to try and make some money. Having been fired for incompetence she accused my boss of sexual harassment and me of religious harassment. Neither charge made it to court since the woman was known to be deceitful and manipulative and neither case had any weight to it. She wore provocative clothing to work and parties and was a consummate flirt. When we discussed religion she would mainly initiate the conversations knowing that I was interested in it -so it was always a dialogue not me standing on an office desk and preaching at her. But being sued like that and seeing the pain that my boss, a married man went through also hardened my attitudes towards such feminist activists. I know this is a shame because there are a great many genuine cases and you described the discomfort this causes very well in your poem. But in the current climate, I have to believe this trend to establish consensual spaces around work colleagues has gone too far, to the point that men do not even want to talk to some women anymore.

Thanks for sharing a powerful and provocative piece which was perfectly expressed

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
959
959
Review of Cowboy's Lament  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed in the wild west for the duration

Reader Experience

Jack Muncy aspires to be a man that plays with more than dominoes. He is not a bad man but in just one night he is undone.

Commentary

This was engaging from start to finish. The language was an authentic cowboy and you captured the Clint Eastwood style culture of fights, drinking, whores and gambling. This young man aspired to be the bad man, Black Jack. His motives seem to be something more than just a cowhand. But gambling is a fool's game, not a career choice and he quickly loses his money to that and booze. Drunk he draws and is shot by a more level-headed man who knows how to play the law. You captured the sense of waste of a young life struck down, the quick transformation from brash young confidence to grey-faced and broken and full of regret. In a way, this story showed the cheapness of life in such a brutal frontier culture and the stakes involved. It underpins the modern American gun culture.

This was perfectly written and engaging from start to finish. It left me with a feeling of the brutality of the culture of the time and of the waste of a young life.

Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
960
960
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for an authentic story.

Reader Experience

Boy meets girl and young love complete with smooching is born. It brings parents from very different social backgrounds together so that they become friends. It changes classroom routines so that they can be together. They did not end up together but she has a special place in his heart.


Commentary

Was interested in the different social backgrounds and the ways in which love crossed that divide. One family wealthy, the other characterized by relative poverty but with the respect and dignity that comes from serving their country in the military. The relationship helped to bridge that divide with what appears to be a genuine friendship between parents and Joan and the author. Also, Joan ended up marrying a military man, so maybe the echoes of her first love shaped her own romantic inclinations for life also. The military life can be rootless with continual moves acrosses state and national borders, with long periods of estrangement from family and friends. But such experiences as young love can help sustain a person through difficult experiences.

I loved this and thought it was well expressed, thanks for sharing. It is nice to be able to focus on the content as a result.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
961
961
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for the inner trauma

Reader Experience

The poem describes a person trapped. Their actions are regarded as inadequate, they are frustrated and anxious, and ready to give up. But should the boulder of their problems be allowed to fall and roll it would crush those they love. They are screaming at themselves loudly inside the soundproof box of their own experience.

Commentary

The person in the poem holds on to one positive in all their troubles. They love and care for people and do not want these people to suffer as a result of their actions. It is that that sustains them in their darkest moment and keeps them going on. Also, it appears that the writing down of such inner darkness, its articulation in words helps to alleviate something of the momentum of this boulder. Sometimes words push the boulder to start its roll and sometimes they hold it in place and start to chip at the grand edifice of all that is wrong and painful and unbearable, which it represents. The poem describes a person with a choice perfectly balanced between social responsibility and self-destruction. But they can make that choice to move towards the light and to choose love over self-hate.

Thought the poem expressed very well what you wanted to say albeit lingering a little too firmly inside the darkness.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
962
962
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and thought it was a powerful message.

Reader Experience

An older person looks back on their life as it draws to a close. They are not rich but have many reasons to be thankful. Their eyes and heart are open to the pain and suffering of so many in this world. A pain and suffering that exceeds their own.

Commentary

Even the poorest people in the Western world have running water, heat, food on the table, and mainly a roof over their heads. Compared to the jet-setting lifestyles of the 1%'s we all feel poor and deprived of the opportunities they have. But you are right there is so much to be thankful for and it a gift to be content with what you have, the kind of peace that indeed bodes well for the afterlife to come.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
963
963
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the inspirational story

Reader Experience

A family worshipped gods of wealth. These did indeed make them rich but were forever hungry for more and more sacrifices. They started getting sick and even dying, punished by these gods. Ultimately they realized they had to give up everything these gods had given them in order to be free of them. They fled to another village with only the shirts on their backs. They converted to Christianity and their family has grown and prospered ever since. Today again people worship mammon and need to wise up to the fact that the sacrifices to these gods of greed and covetousness are not worth it. Better to follow Jesus Christ.


Commentary

I loved the basic storyline which carries a message across time and space to all generations. Better to serve Christ than false gods who demand too high a price for the things they give.

There were a few issues with the text which need looking into to improve the story's impact.


"Mother, please tell us how you and your family leave your old religion?" - "Mother, please tell us how you and your family left your old religion?"

An issue with tenses e.g. They know that if they are rich, they will also be powerful. - They knew that if they were rich, they would also be powerful.

They have to sacrifice animals such as goats, cock, to please these gods - They have to sacrifice animals such as goats, or cockerels, to please these gods.

They were very happy as they control the village - They were very happy as they controlled the village

Thanks for your powerful story and a welcome message.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
964
964
Review of A Displaced Man  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to find hope.

Reader Experience

A man is portrayed in Winter, cloaked against the cold and the wind. He has suffered many pains alone. He longs for the warmth and for the sunshine. He is searching for a way back to people and to laughter. The rain stops, he sees a spritely leaf baptized by the dew and starts to merge back into humanity.

Commentary

I like the movement and the direction of this. From despair to hope, from loneliness to society, from raw will to survive, to social interaction and warm humanity.

Two lines especially made no sense to me:

I befriend the snow angels on the dirty ground - in the context you talk about the cold and how he cloaks against it and the wind. But making snow angels implies lying on the ground in thick snow and it is a joyful image. So the image does not really fit the verse.

If I could just find the way to the civil - this line could probably be phrased better. "the civil" just sounds wrong. The idea is not the problem moving back to society, back into warm embraces, happy conversations, hugs, and laughter. The problem is the word civil it just does not work.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
965
965
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for the drama.

Reader Experience

A woman is trapped by a painful past experience. She has created a nest of blankets by the unclear window obscured by raindrops and darkness. She rehearses the memories in her mind so that her anguish is always repeating.


Commentary

Is she wounded or clinging on to her pain? Is this inability to let go of past pains due to an absence of present or future opportunities for pleasure? It is raining outside not sunny. This reads like a dream or a problem in an endless loop. The only thing to do in such situations is to get up and go and do something else and then come back with the pain forgotten or with new strength and perspective. But she clings to her blankets and her tears like the raindrops are never-ending and she sits beside a window she never sees anything through.

I liked the descriptive power here and especially this line:

rain drips down creating tears
upon the unclear window pane

You had moonlight peering through the window while it was raining- unlikely.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
966
966
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to walk with this woman down the street

Reader Experience

A woman is walking next to another woman and is critically appraising the other woman. Her review comes complete with superior fake compassion, a self-righteous concern not to hurt her feelings, and a belief that a smile from yours truly, and a few encouraging words, can make this other poor woman's day. And then...


Commentary

This made me laugh and was quite insightful also. We see ourselves through rose-tinted glasses until we see our own reflection in the shape of a person we have just dismantled out there. Our well-meaning critique takes on a different meaning when we are the recipient of the good advice we dealt out.

This poem however reveals a deeper character, one who can laugh at herself and is the stronger for it. Loved it - thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
967
967
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the electrical advice

Reader Experience

Henry is cold and trying to fix the heater he knocked over yesterday. He has opened up the back and is playing with the insides with his screwdriver. He has switched off the multiplug connector but then there is a flash


Commentary

Nettie might have spoken up a little earlier about the change in plug arrangements. Henry is trying to help but clearly does not have a clue and does not do the proper checks in advance. Nettie seems to understand the basics of fuse boxes and circuit breakers maybe she should fix the heater after it is unplugged from the wall of course.

Think there are too many human errors in this account for it to constitute self-help. That Nettie failed to unplug the heater after Henry ignored her was gross negligence on her part and her nagging and putdowns probably just put Henry's back up. This is the sort of story you can learn from without appreciating or warming to because all the characters are disturbing and embarrassing for different reasons.

Thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
968
968
Review of Defeated  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed because I like Sci-Fi.

Reader Experience

Two men sucked out of a compartment exposed to space with only a limited oxygen supply. They recount a lifetime of conflict while they await their end. Then along comes Tess ...


Commentary

That was an unexpected ending though a more plausible one than two superheroes, who had battled across space and time, and who were finally meeting their end. The beautiful Tess now looks like the keeper of the space=asylum, another cool concept. I am surprised this piece got no attention as it was quite good, well written. Interesting that even in the future the psychologists have no cure for schizophrenia except drugs and quarantine. Maybe we should just go back to exorcisms as they seemed to be more effective.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
969
969
Review of THE STONES  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: men's

Reader Experience

The poem describes a broken man who confides his sorrow to stones inside his imagination. These give some kind of feedback. He finds some kind of strength to carry on. The stones split apart and no longer stand like a weight at rest on his soul. He is free to move on to fight his war, the eternal war


Commentary

All men come to a place of such brokenness at some point in their lives. Wronged by love and fooled by lies. The imagery this poem conjures up from my reader's perspective is of a monolith like an altar on which prayers might be offered. But a monolith that somehow stands in the way of them being answered. Yet the stones speak and then must be cleared away before a clear path can be established. So are you really praying to stones, or to your problems enshrined in the stones, or to a God beyond the stones who speaks through the stones. If the stones are so wise why must they get out of the way for you to carry on your fight. The stones confuse me and irritate me yet they are the central motif of this poem. An altar makes sense to me, a wall that shuts me from my way makes sense. A towering monolith that obscures my view of God, a mighty self-built tower of babel that must come tumbling down makes sense but these stones seem to be all these things and so they confuse me. Perhaps because my insight is that stones cannot save not even symbolic ones engineered by thought processes inside our own minds. My prayer from this same place of brokenness was "Though you slay me yet will I trust in you" - meaning God. I wrote some of that account here:
 Invalid Item Open in new Window.
This item number is not valid.
#2245848 by Not Available.


Thanks for sharing such a powerful, provocative poem. I found it confusing but it seems most people really liked it


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
970
970
Review of Forsaken  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Mythology

Reader Experience

The angel Gabriel who announced the birth of Christ has been cast out of heaven but does not know why. He desperately wants to get back in because he still lives God. He goes to Lilith who apparently is a vampire and she turns him into one. Now he no longer feels the pain of having lost God and thinks that he is free in a way that he has never been before.


Commentary

Gabriel clearly did not have the mankind jealousy issues that are hinted at causing the original angelic fall in this account. He announced that God Himself would come to earth as a man. God is not fickle and does not simply cast an angel out. There is nothing fickle about Lucifers casting down which involved an angelic war and a fight with the Archangel Michael. This alternate mythology requires we jump into a parallel universe where the opposite of angels is vampires and Gabriel somehow becomes a bad guy who, once upon a time like Lucifer, stood in God's presence. This is only sustainable as a storyline as long as the current popularity of vampires endures. One wonders how long it will last without revelatory, historical, scientific, or even credible experiential testimony to it as a reality. The best myths like the best lies have some kind of connection to reality.

The text contains some minor errors:

One the other side of the throne a strange dog creature slumbered. Werewolf, Gabriel though with distaste. - On the other side of the throne a strange dog creature slumbered. Werewolf, Gabriel thought with distaste.

Is it Gabriel or Gabriele?

I though I smelled an Angel = I thought I smelled an Angel

Thanks for sharing.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
971
971
Review of In the Beginning  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Horror Scary / Mythology

Reader Experience

An alternate explanation of how a pale, fragile girl Va’ Amphare became the mother of all Vampires by the grace of Night Sky.


Commentary

So this is an origin story about a race that does not exist but is popular in modern literature. The story itself was coherent, well written, and sounded reasonable within its own terms. I suspect that ancient tribal cultures would have some kind of holy man or religious gurus that would have held this woman of the night only who drinks blood to live as a problem and expelled or killed her long before the real trouble started with her. But myths are fictional and this one stands as a good story, though not as advertised, for children just before they go to bed!

Thanks for sharing.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
972
972
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Mythology

Reader Experience

The author gives six good reasons why UFOs do not exist. They range from lack of anything but anecdotal proof, the incompetence of governments at concealing things and their tendency to lie about things like spy planes, and that most scientists will not touch this with a barge pole. SETI did not find anything despite billions of dollars of investment, there are no radio waves and the stories about this were probably a product of cold war fears anyway in the first place and a promotional feature of the build-up to the Apollo space program.

Commentary

Actually, the whole UFO thing goes back to atheist writers of the late Victorian era like H.G.Wells who wrote War of the Worlds. It was part of a general move to a more scientific outlook on the universe and a move away from anthropocentric and geocentric religious accounts. After a century of searching, however, we have still found nothing out there. Part of the premise for the existence of alien life is the theory of evolution and the Drake Equation. Both however rely on one thing that has never been proven as a starting point - abiogenesis. The idea that life can emerge from chemicals spontaneously has NEVER been demonstrated. But because life emerged on Earth they suggest that it must also have simply emerged elsewhere. Again and again, this speculative theory has been disproved by actual experience. When man landed on the moon we found "Magnificent Desolation". When Mariner did its Martian flybys it discovered craters, not canals. We have found no life out there and yet the theories that mainstream science swears by insisting it must be out there. The whole UFO mythology is a product of this speculative thinking.

Thanks for sharing. I liked what you wrote, just think it did not go far enough into the conceptual framework which insists these things must exist.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
973
973
Review of A Day to Remember  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Action/Adventure

Reader Experience

A mother takes her sons and daughter-in-law to a campsite in the mountains. They use the lifts to ascend to the heights. The view is awesome. But when it comes time to descend the mother cannot stomach riding in those lifts again as she suffers from vertigo and decides to walk down. She misses the hiker's trail and walks straight down the ski slope family in tow. They make it without serious injury but the park attendants put them in the lift for the last stage of the journey


Commentary

Well climbing a mountain is definitely one way to conquer a fear of heights. Those lifts remind me of a ski trip and being suspended 100's of feet above the ground ascending into the Alps. Must admit I found it exhilarating but that might be foolishness regarding the risks rather than courage on my part. This place sounds beautiful and worth a visit. It sounds like some strong family memories were created that day and will be shared in years to come. I miss the mountains, this pandemic, my work takes me to them a lot but now everything is in home-office. Your piece reminded me of the vertical drops, the spectacular views, the green of the forests, drinking from mountain springs, and breathing the clean fresh air with the sun in my face. You might want to convert to this a short story at one point. The colors and characters and scenery would all work for that. There are a lot of open ends to this story - missing husbands for example who might have been able to help with the fears.

Thanks for sharing.


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
974
974
Review of The Hot Tub  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Romance/Love

Reader Experience

The wife is in bed and the man is in the spa. It is cold outside but the water is warm. When he closes his eyes he can see a beautiful woman who comes to him. They make love. He opens his eyes and she is not there. Only the smell of her perfume remains.


Commentary

Costless adultery with spooky undertones. There is no evidence he was ever unfaithful to his wife. The experience is more real and personal than porn and costs him nothing as would have a visit to a prostitute. He loves a woman with his eyes shut and when he opens them she is gone. Yet there is the perfume smell. Can a man make love to a ghost, to a demon, or to the projected spirit of another woman? Or maybe this was just a dream and he only imagined her lingering perfume?

Very erotic and very thought-provoking. Perhaps too much in fact. I need to find an action piece for my next raid review to clear my mind!

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
975
975
Review of Martyr  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
This is a genre-specific raid review. This came up under a search for the genre: Horror/Scary

Reader Experience

Thomas works in the morgue. He had always been a little obsessed with death and years of working with the dead, being alone without love had dulled his spirit. He lacked enthusiasm for life. But then a beautiful woman is brought into the morgue, she is simply perfect, he is more awed than attracted by that beauty and her death seems a tragic waste. She has a wooden stake through the heart. A tall ageless visitor to the morgue views the woman and kisses her. There are depth, history, and ferocity in his eyes. As he leaves Thomas is suddenly grateful to be alive and the supernatural possibilities of the world are open to him once again.

Commentary

Why must the magic in this life always come from the dark side. Monsters, vampires, werewolves, witches, and things that lurk in the shadows. Where are the angels and miracles in such dreamscapes? It is a vampire that reawakens Thomas's dreams and maybe the death of one also. A man who sees the tragedy of this life so acutely, viewing the victims of murders, crashes and man's inevitable decay and decline to the grave might well lose his enthusiasm for life. It is odd that the threat and the beauty of such an evil creature as a vampire should revive this man's interest in living.

You wrote well and the descriptions of the nuances in the vampire's eyes were especially powerful. There was also something haunting and powerful about such a beautiful and perfect woman lying dead in a morgue. The terrible waste, the unspoken story of her life, the lost potential messaged to him in her empty shell.

Thanks for sharing


** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
1,309 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 53 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/39