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2,325 Public Reviews Given
2,325 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing  (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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901
901
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and stayed for my favorite drink

Reader Experience

Coffee time brings back memories of childhood incidents, mum and dad drinking it, coffee before mums poetry, and other delicious coffee laden experiences


Commentary

I do not drink, smoke, do drugs, or sleep around but hey do not touch my coffee! Some addictions are just too good to lose. My father always had it with milk and so do I, my mother always preferred a good cup of tea. The national stereotypes are all overthrown as my father was born in India where they drink tea, My mother is half American where they drink coffee and throw the tea in the sea. Now I live in Germany and am expected to drink tea because I am English but I prefer coffee. It is an excellent way to start the day and to suppress my PDE levels.

Thnk this sentence needs work:

I have drink at least three cups of hot coffee = I have drunk at least three cups of hot coffee

Thanks for sharing

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I have drink at least three cups of hot coffee


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902
902
Review of Amid the Corn  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button

Reader Experience

An unmarried couple in a moonlit cornfield just before harvest and after a big party. It could so easily have had a non-Amish ending.


Commentary

Actually, the ending was a welcome surprise, given the Amish background, though you do not make it clear why he grimaced and drew back. The implication was that it was conscience that made them realize they were doing wrong. But maybe he just decided he did not like her, the text was not totally clear.

Thanks for sharing.


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903
903
Review of Auschwitz  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and I have been to Auschwitz

Reader Experience

Auschwitz!


Commentary

To describe the horror of Auschwitz we need a masterpiece but this was not it. 1.1 million people, mainly Jews died there. Even today the horror of the place challenges us with the question of how people could be so evil and do so much wrong? If you go there you will see the pictures of lampshades made from skin, the piles of handbags of teeth with gold fillings that were extracted. Many were worked to death others exterminated with Zyklon B. I am a chatty person but I walked away from there in horrified silence. It has provoked serious questions about how we can talk about God and goodness after Auschwitz and yet these are still here and indeed could we feel the horror of such evil if we did not believe in them.

There are some really awkward phrasings in this piece like you "made me despaired" and some spelling mistakes also e.g. dispaired is despaired.

After the Nazis, people got real again and modern Germans are far from being the kind of people who committed these crimes 3 generations ago. Though they still take this episode in their history with total seriousness. We remember so that it will never happen again.

Thanks for sharing.

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904
904
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and stayed for inspiration

Reader Experience

Apparently, it is party time, a time to eat and laugh. It is a time to love and to reach out even though we are socially distanced from them


Commentary

Party time has definitely been on hold this Pandemic and much of the entertaining, fun trips and get-together are fading into memory after a year of lockdown. But as Britain is now mostly vaccinated I notice my family there starting to think about what normal life might look like once more. In fact, I asked my dad that as he gets his second vaccination in two days.

"So what will you do when you are free to be normal once more?"

There was no answer. I want to travel more, see my family, sing my lungs out in worship, hug people in the church and hang out with some friends in the pub. I want to visit people who have been more isolated than me this year. I think the sentiment of this poem is spot on and even now we have much to be thankful for and to be happy about. I found the style a little cliched but maybe that is just me. The opportunities to reach out do exist over the phone and online through Zoom and Teams and other technologies but they will grow as this pandemic finally fades.

Thanks for sharing


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905
905
Review of Desire  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and stayed to hear about temptation

Reader Experience

Joanne succumbs to temptation.

Commentary

We have all been there and must admit chocolate is a weakness of mine also. My Easter eggs are always the first to go. But I notice that my son's eggs are still sitting in the Dining Room like he does not want them. I wonder if he would notice if just a few eggs disappeared? I think I would get away with it, who would know after all? Oh, bother did I say that out loud? It seems a strange place to keep chocolates by your bed if you are trying to resist the temptation. After all, it is a pretty easy place to reach out to them.

The repetition of the "it was no good" phrase irked me a bit.

Thanks for sharing, do you also share your chocolates or scoff them all yourself, just asking.


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906
906
Review of A New Beginning  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and stayed for a modern take on the Tinderbox by Hans Christen Andersen

Reader Experience

A tormented war veteran finds some money and a mysterious code. He is hunted by people who seem to know the meaning of his find. They hold the beautiful Juanita captive. Having overpowered her captives and despite having been shot in the process they enter a church to find a mysterious box. The story continues...


Commentary

Well, I guess the witch becomes the two men, the princess is Juanita and the box is the one found in the church. We are just missing 3 supernatural dogs and some regicide from the original tale. The original story was not that popular as it was regarded as lacking morals and I guess killing a king who was just looking out for his daughter did not help the author much. I liked your version which converted many of the key themes into the modern context. The motorbike did its supernatural thing before John came into possession of the box which was presumably the powerhouse of the magic. Technically there was no explanation as to why it should do that.

You managed to give it a bit of moral weight with Johns's generosity to the nun and his saving Juanita from her kidnappers. Also, you put the box in a church rather than in the more menacing place of the original tale guarded by monstrous dogs. But John's war experience and loss of comrades in arms seem to have made John a little disillusioned about God. There was an implicit message here that even if John no longer believed in God, God was still looking out for him. I think the original readers of the original story may have preferred your version to Hans Christen Anderson's version if that was the underlying message.

Thanks for sharing.

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907
907
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You asked me to review this

Reader Experience

Gluttonous Carole wants to grow into a big fat blob. But stealing the doughnuts at work just got her fired. On her way home, however, she saw a meteor come to earth in a deserted place. From the crater, she rescues a green blob of jelly-like substance that seems to be alive. She takes this home and examines it. Finally, she eats it, it merges with her DNA and introduces key changes. She now becomes an eating machine perfectly adapted to consume large amounts. She gets fatter and fatter and having exhausted her home supplies moves out first to a small shop and then to a food court. She now seems to be endowed with perception-altering gifts that enable her to steal food without being noticed. It is in the food court that her final metamorphism occurs and she transforms into a 10 foot high round blob of green jelly. Oh, bliss!


Commentary

Most female fantasies are about getting slimmer rather than becoming overweight blobs but this story plays to the slim girls' dark side. Let's talk about that craving to eat chocolate, Pizza, Hamburgers and to simply keep on going, to gorge oneself on forbidden fast food. It could also very well be read as a satire on the fast-food industry and the Western world's obesity crisis.

I loved the simple storyline about endless expansion. YOu give a semi-plausible explanation about how Carole's transformation is possible. An alien lifeform is ingested and starts to alter her very DNA. There then follows the story of how it secures its place in this brand new world. One wonders if it ate its previous world to death.

There were some questions in my mind as I read. Given Carole's increasing girth and weight for example how did she waddle from place to place. How come her legs were able to support the extra weight and indeed her ankles without snapping.

Also, this green blob of jelly that she becomes seems to have the disposition to eat human food. Given its ability to survive outer space, meteor crash landings, and its entirely alien appearance I wondered at this human set of preferences. I suppose because it merged with Carole it took on her persona and tastes but can Carole now eat dirt also, or indeed other people?

Is this green blob of jelly not now slightly vulnerable. One wonders at just how maneuverable it is sitting in the gutted out remains of the food court. Think it would be perceived as a threat and an alien invader and would probably earn itself a drone strike if discovered. The powers of illusion will only work so well when the morning rush starts in the food court and everybody wants breakfast.

Overall this was much smoother and better written than the previous shorter version. I enjoyed it a lot. There are a few things that need looking at though:

While she was showering Carole wondered if it was really her lucky day or if the wish she had made had anyway influenced her discovery of this strange lump of goo = While she was showering Carole wondered if it really was her lucky day or if the wish she had made had in any way influenced her discovery of this strange lump of goo

Carole’s first thought to the noise in her stomach was “is it morning already”? = Carole’s first response to the noise in her stomach was “is it morning already”?

Her skin was now close to breaking point, and Carole knew it wasn’t long before her old human life would be more = Her skin was now close to breaking point, and Carole knew it wasn’t long before her old human life would be no more ( or would become much more)

Also, you are missing a lot of commas and hyphens. If you run the story through a tool like Grammarly you would see a lot of red lines. It might be worth checking it in that context.

Thanks for sharing


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908
908
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and stayed for an amusing story

Reader Experience

No one likes cold callers and that is what the author perceives this "Windows Technical Department" call to be. Until...


Commentary

I get so many unsolicited calls these days I never answer the phone unless it is a number I recognize from my contact list. Must admit a call like the one you described would probably be on the ignore list. But it does beg the question if we miss that crucial warning or a desperate cry for help or a long-lost friend in the process of putting the phone down and blocking numbers.

Not sure what the Windows Technical Department was going to offer by way of advice for dealing with virally infected exploding windows. But it made for a good and amusing story. Loved the comment:

"Show yourself! I am trained in martial-arts. I don’t want to hurt you but I will if you don’t show yourself"

As with the man suddenly confronted with 7 knife-wielding gangsters in the street, such a phrase is usually an empty gesture of defiance and in this supernatural case seemed to have been especially so. How will martial arts help you against virally infected windows?

Anyway thanks for making me laugh this morning.


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909
909
Review of trapped  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and was intrigued

Reader Experience

The author feels trapped and feels as if she is losing the sense of who she is. Fear, shame, sadness, and depression, all characterise that sinking feeling, a malaise in which hope struggles to reveal itself. Can she survive her greatest fear that somehow she is trapped and just about to drown?


Commentary

I have been watching the news all day due to the death of Prince Phillip. This guy was a refugee from a country that murdered his family. Three of his sisters were Nazis and not invited to his wedding. He fought in a war and sacrificed himself so that his wife the Queen might bloom. He saw his favorite uncle murdered by the IRA. He had a strength of character that persevered in the worst of circumstances and did not really understand when his children revealed weaknesses that circumstances and schooling had never permitted in him. It is interesting that today's generation regards the demons within as being more terrifying than actual enemies like revolutionaries, terrorists and Nazis and the laughter of a merciless aristocratic mob with antiquated ideas about gender roles. Prince Phillip would have had a simple answer, pick yourself up, start looking outwards, get active and find yourself some real enemies and then pound them into oblivion also. Start living a life for others, read their concerns and put them into perspective, listen to their hopes, and affirm them. We find ourselves by loving others not by falling between the cracks of who we are into the abyss of self-absorption.

Thanks for sharing


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910
910
Review of Silk  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and was intrigued

Reader Experience

The silkworms build their cocoon and are then boiled to extract the silk threads for the weaving process. So they die in that sleep before becoming silk moths only dreaming of flight through mulberry forests in the sunshine. They will miss the full moons and bustling Chinese towns. But the garments they leave behind are perhaps saturated with the lost hopes and freedoms of all those lost moths who will never experience the colors of the sky. Put the silk in your mouth and maybe you also can taste those lost midsummer nights and the ghostly laughter of the leaves and song of the cicadas.

Commentary

Silk has always been in great demand among the truly rich and powerful. Merchants bore the hazards of the silk road to bring their wares to the Roman Empire from China. Even today this remains a luxury and more expensive. There is an element of natural sacrifice in the story of silk. The beneficiaries are a privileged elite that probably is more concerned with the feelings of silkworms than the sacrifices of the poor and the enslaved that brought the silk to market and who fashioned this into emblems of advantage and comfort.

I liked your poem, thanks for sharing.


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911
911
Review of I Pledge to You  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button and was touched by the theme.

Reader Experience

The author was blind to love for a season allowing it to be obscured by pride. But now mindful of God they pledge to love

Commentary

Prince Phillip was married to the Queen of England for 73 years. There were some major ups and downs in that relationship. This was a man of great intellect, profound reflection, and even prophetic insight married to a woman of far less education but with the Imperial crown on her head. This unsung hero pledged himself to be the best possible support to his wife, the Queen. He stood 2 steps behind her for most of her reign, the silent strength, the wise advisor, and the love of her life. Now he is gone and the Queen mourns him alone with her large extended family to offer condolence. Were there times when she was blind to her man and he to her? Almost definitely and yet this profoundly Christian couple persevered in the most testing of circumstances and their marriage is an example of what could be.

Your poem spoke to me today in the light of world events

Thanks for sharing.

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912
912
Review of The Party's Over  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button. With the death of Prince Phillip occurring today I was not in a mood for trivia. This is why I stayed for what you wrote.

Reader Experience

A birthday party that was never on the cards is remembered for a momentous world event.


Commentary

Today I passed a very difficult exam. People were happy but the death of Prince Phillip quickly drowned out that conversation. Having a birthday on 911 would fall into that category. On 911 I was in an IT department. We had a TV in the server room which the night shift had installed. We all trooped into the room and watched in dumbfounded amazement. It was a transformative event that stirred the deepest passions of the soul. The event changed the direction in which people were moving. Whatever people think about the war in Iraq and Afghanistan that followed it was the passions of that moment that propelled the USA, and indeed allies like the UK, into action. Pearl Harbor had also awoken a sleeping giant that no longer believed it could get away with ignoring the world beyond its borders. Thanks for sharing your experience of this momentous event.


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913
913
Review of Property Lines  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via the random 'read & review' button

Reader Experience

A flood from the heavens blurs the property lines.

Commentary

They say you can see the Great Wall of China from space although Chinese astronaut Yang Liwei shockingly revealed he could not see it from space at all. Maybe we can make out a few cities at night with the lights on but the property rights in those are all blurred together. Go as far out as Voyager One and not even these are visible just one blue dot, one deluged water-soaked planet. We can spend our lives paying for houses with clear garden fences but great floods like that of hurricane Katrina can sweep all those manmade boundaries away in an instant. I guess the survivors on the Ark climbed out after a global flood to also see an absence of fences and a brand new world.

I loved this short, provocative poem, thanks for sharing.


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914
914
Review of nov 14, 2018  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via the random read & review button and stayed to pontificate on light the moon and feyre st.clair.

Reader Experience

The moon is not made of light it just reflects light. Maybe I am like the moon, cold and dead and just reflecting the light and beauty of something else.

Commentary

I believe you are made in the image of God which means that not only do you reflect something of His light and beauty but so also something of that light and beauty is intrinsic to your very created being. So you are more like the Earth than the moon with lots of electric lights and cities that glow in the dark. OK, you do not compare to the sun but some of those patterns look cool from space. Theoretically, you could build a spaceship and start planting lights on the moon powered by stored solar power or nuclear reactors. You could do the same throughout the solar system and it would be all the more interesting for your artistry and pattern weaving. Does the fact that the sun could incinerate you and all your works in the blink of an eye negate their value. No, I do not think so

This little light of mine
I am gonna let it shine.....


Thanks for sharing a little light here.


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915
915
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for some wisdom

Reader Experience

A Miracle is personified as a person and as such advises that just because you have experienced the joy of a Wonder should not become proud. Indeed since miracles are clothed in mystery and are beyond our understanding there is no reason for pride.

Commentary

I have seen people prayed for, who went into remission from cancer. One man I know died an atheist and came back to life as a Christian having, while dead, experienced Christ. Another girl I knew saw her mother who was in a wheelchair walk after being prayed for. Once I prayed with a bishop where we measured a man's legs who had back pain. One leg was longer than the other. We prayed, the pain left, and then when we measured the man's legs afterward they were the same length. Miracles happen and only a fool can deny this. But because we live in a universe where miracles are possible we can say little in our own confidence or strength that gives us cause to strut through this life. It is humbling to know that God can, God does and God is in these miracles. It is an occasion for both joy and humility. The content of what you wrote was spot on but how you wrote it requires more work.

Thanks for sharing.


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916
916
Review of PITS!  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for a great story

Reader Experience

Rich and Rob Benton escape a lame party by getting them to play hide and seek and using the opportunity to climb over the back fence. They go searching for buried treasure and find themselves stranded by a cave in a deserted tunnel. They are not alone there are some mean ghosts down there. Fortunately for them, one of them is called Benton.


Commentary

Very well told and entertaining story. It reminds me of the kind of exploratory freedom I had as a child. These kinds of near-death experiences shape character. Today in our risk-averse cultures the kids grow fat and game in their bedrooms rather than seeking adventures in the real world, covid19 definitely has not helped matters, nor have new houses being built over the old forests and parks. Well in this case I guess it was also an experience of post-death ghosts.

Anyway thanks for sharing


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917
917
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, you beat me last month in the no dialog contest pushing me into second place. So I thought I would come and view the victor's work.

Reader Experience

A little boy strays into nature, into a world of birds, squirrels, and friendly dogs. He connects with mother nature and then is drawn back to his dearest friend of all, his own mother.

Commentary

I guess you captured the theme of friendship very well here. Your writing harmonized with nature and naturally with the creatures of nature. You stayed within maternal boundaries not reaching too deeply into dark forests or beyond baby blue skies into the empty darkness of space. All was smiles and happiness and multicolored butterflies. From a child's perspective, this is a true portrayal of friendship from the time of Eden before the fall. Before a dark world demanding sacrifice, hard choices, and commitments of time, money, blood. Before a time of adulthood and realities that test and refine our character and test our commitments to those we love.

I found some minor mistakes in the text:

Little Johnny had wondered a little to far from his mother in the park = Little Johnny had wandered a little too far from his mother in the park

He had only wondered about twenty yards away from the playground = He had only wandered about twenty yards away from the playground

Thanks for sharing and congratulations on winning the contest.


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918
918
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Received this via my newsfeed and liked the title and remember liking most of what you write also.

Reader Experience

Rachel is falling between cracks into alternate worlds. Some hellish, some heavenly. In this world, she is doomed to die of brain cancer. Her cancer is growing like a spider inside her brain. As her brain breaks, so the floor or the ceiling, cracks, to reveal either horrors or delights. Though she never built that cabin in the mountains, which he had always wanted, through the cracks she finds a new pathway to that place.

Commentary

You reach for the heights of heaven and depths of hell in this piece, taking the reader through the dark and horrible to green meadows and dreams come true. You leave the impression that you would rather scare the bejeebers out of your reader than lead them into that heavenly cabin in the mountains but somehow that is where we end up anyway. I liked the idea of cracks in the world echoing the brokenness of the experience of a woman with brain cancer losing her mind to a malignant arachnological spreading doom. You somehow combined the horror of that experience with the liberation of realizing her dreams.

I found two small errors in the text:

In her peripheral lay only a gloom so perfect that it seemed to be an abyss = In her peripheral vision lay only a gloom so perfect that it seemed to be an abyss

It began as a faraway crowd, multitudes of raging babble like an angry, destructive mob - did not sound quite right as raging babble is a sound or symptomatic of a multitude

Maybe: It began as a faraway crowd, multiple voices raging babble like an angry, destructive mob.

Thanks for sharing


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919
919
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for an exposition of the number of the Beast

Reader Experience

There is no 666 house number because 666 is the devil's number. But it could mean a whole load of other things also. Somebody who claims to understand this number is probably being dishonest.


Commentary

Some said it was Nero, some said it was the simple implication of imperfection, of a demonic attempt to mimic the seven spirit of god with a lesser number, the three members of the Trinity with an imperfect copy of Dragon, Beast, and False Prophet. I have seen men with this number as a tattoo who thought they were hard rather than just demonic cannon fodder on a highway to hell. There is nothing funny about this number it is an imperfect, merely human number a number that reaches for heights it can never attain. A doomed number like that of a taxi firm here in Germany that never comes in time. That Iron maiden song on this theme sprang to mind when I read this. But I thought their lyrics were better than these ones and more real for not even pretending this number is a joke. How much do we need to understand something bad to know that the best thing is to stay well away.

Woe to you, oh earth and sea
For the Devil sends the beast with wrath
Because he knows the time is short
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast
For it is a human number
Its number is six hundred and sixty-six
I left alone, my mind was blank
I needed time to think
To get the memories from my mind
What did I see? Can I believe?
That what I saw that night was real and not just fantasy?
Just what I saw in my old dreams
Were they reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?
'Cause in my dreams it's always there
The evil face that twists my mind and brings me to despair
Night was black, was no use holding back
'Cause I just had to see, was someone watching me?
In the mist, dark figures move and twist
Was all this for real or just some kind of Hell?
Six six six, the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released
Torches blazed and sacred chants were praised
As they start to cry, hands held to the sky
In the night, the fires are burning bright
The ritual has begun, Satan's work is done
Six six six, the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight
This can't go on, I must inform the law
Can this still be real, or just some crazy dream?
But I feel drawn towards the chanting hordes
Seem to mesmerize, can't avoid their eyes
Six six six, the number of the beast
Six six six, the one for you and me
I'm coming back, I will return
And I'll possess your body and I'll make you burn
I have the fire, I have the force
I have the power to make my evil take its course

Thanks for sharing.


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920
920
Review of Death And Rebirth  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and spirituality seems to be the theme today

Reader Experience

We all die and pass into the gaps between the subatomic to merge with shadows gathered between the past and the future. Yet even this darkness shall pass, leaving behind an empty pupa case.


Commentary

Not sure if you are talking about reincarnation or the afterlife here. But either way, this was profound finding gateways between atoms and yesterday and tomorrow into a new reality. I loved the image of the pupa as if we rise into a world of new possibility and light far beyond the experience of the lowly caterpillars that made our graves. We rise as multicolored butterflies into the light. Personally, I do not believe that everyone has died_ Enoch and Elijah for instance. Nor do I believe that everyone must die. Christ will come again to greet a whole troop of people who will never taste death at all. But it is the experience of most of us and the transition to a new existence beyond what is accepted by most world religions. Some have a belief in a night of extended soul sleep until the resurrection at Kingdom Come. Others believe we instantly move into paradise. However, this comes to pass I would like to die with my heart wide open and trusting in a God who loves me and calls me home.

Thanks for sharing.

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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the cricketing theme

Reader Experience

Willie Morton, Scotlands famous slow bowler apparently learnt the sport from a book


Commentary

Apparently, he died two years ago, quite suddenly in fact. In fact, since your review, he divorced, remarried, and then died. Playing for Scotland he was never going to be famous as they do not even play at Test level and have never won anything except one solitary world cup match against Hong Kong. That said the man was a sportsman playing rugby, cricket, and darts and sounds a bit of a character also. I do not know if your story is true and a book truly improved his game. Having played the game myself I somehow doubt it, you learn this by doing it and watching pros play. But I liked your poem and the story it evoked of this man's life and his contribution to Scottish cricket. Not sure this is a Braveheart level tale of Scottish nationalistic pride, however. Scotland would need to actually beat the English cricket team with him taking several wickets and hitting a century before I would regard him as the new William Wallace or Robert the Bruce.

Thanks for sharing.


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for some good writing

Reader Experience

Ouch, that was rather extreme. Ohh I see! Really?


Commentary

I must admit I was ready to give up with the story when the man offered her his heart in a red leather pouch. It seemed too much and impossible. She should probably have run a mile at that point. I recently wrote something in the romance/horror genre which involved a macabre gift to a woman. She should have run in my story also.

 
STATIC
Love like a fire  (13+)
Claudia from Hamburg falls for an Englishman from London.
#2243797 by LightinMind


But in this story, it turns out to be a rather creative way to get the woman he fell for which actually worked out. Then there is that last line which overthrows the entire storyline again with the suggestion that they have died at some point and are ghosts. There is a rollercoaster here of dark-light-dark.

I enjoyed the story, which was quite creative and disturbing at the same time. Thanks for sharing


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Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and remembered reading the first one of these

Reader Experience

So the reason for ACs despair is a man. Some relationship has not worked out and she is dealing with the aftermath of smashed dreams. Granny is the perfect confessor as she knows God.


Commentary

No man is perfect, even those that made it to heaven (before they got in) and those that are married. To idolize a man and place all one's hopes and dreams in one is naive. Such moments of defeat are a time to reconsider and get things into perspective. We all made embarrassing mistakes on our way to imperfect but lasting relationships. Once in those relationships, we have to make choices every day to make them work. If the relationship is snatched away there are still decisions to be made. Decisions as to what to do with the emptiness and the crushed hopes, whether to give in to the darkness or to choose the light. It helps to have a source of strength greater than even granny, like the One she prays to for instance.

I had a similar experience within a marriage which I described here:

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#2245848 by Not Available.


I liked your letter which expressed what you wanted to say very well. I liked that you appealed to a God fear in person out of the darkness whom you could trust. Thanks for sharing


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Review of Questions  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the power of the language.

Reader Experience

The author is filled with questions and themes that conflict with each other with powerful effects.

Commentary

This was powerfully written but did not really make any sense. It reads like a person trapped in a whirlwind of thoughts that she describes but which contradict. Nonsense questions of the 'how can a circle be a square genre?' pound the reader that engages with this. For example in the first stanza light is found then is questioned in the fourth stanza and fully doubted in the last. You use the powerful image of a crystal vase resting on a table of wood and skulls. But then you add the odd line bringing fear from the floor with a simple cry to devour. Why would the placement of a vase on such a macabre table bring fear from the floor? In stanza three you are mourning the loss of wisdom with the morning sigh. But then in stanza 4 back into the middle of the night and sleep. The imagery as a whole using words like limp, lost, weak, empty, and implies despair. There is no reaching beyond the darkness nor even a raging against the night. The questions poison and drain of hope leaving only the question of survival.

This poem was powerfully written with some incredible descriptive phrases but it is lost in darkness and despair.

Thanks for sharing.


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925
925
Review of Dawn  
Review by LightinMind
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and since I am just waking up myself it seemed topical

Reader Experience

A woman wakes just before dawn, when the morning star still shines, from nightmares. She is soothed by the haunting voice, presence, and then embrace of a man who is more than a man because not mortal. There she can forget the terrors of the night.

Commentary

Beautifully written but I was wondering about the content of the poem. It seems that during the night the romantic feelings for a new love were temporarily forgotten with ice forming around cupid's dart. It is the light that banishes your fears and in that new warmth, you go to the man. Who is a man that is more than a man, a man not mortal? The use of words like haunting implies a supernatural quality to the man. But it seems he is not omnipresent, as he was not there with you during the night during your nightmares. You come to him in the daylight when the shadows flee and light warms us. He is the sunlight after the storm and the day after the nightmare-filled night. Maybe he would indeed seem more than mortal in the light of that experience, but this man is no god.

It was an interesting poem with many provocative lines. Thanks for sharing.


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