LightinMind's (luminementis) Reviews

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Thu, Jul 10, 2025

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When The Memories Call

For all grieving parents and anyone else who has lost a loved one.

Central International Airport

An airport with destinations and new beginnings. Take a trip.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

More Eight Line Poems (March 2021 - ?)

A collection of what-nots, doodads and random thoughts arranged into lines and verses.

I Swear I'm Cool Somewhere!

In some parallel You-niverses, you're actually amazing. Here's proof!

Worse Game of Pictionary in the Worlds

Pictionary was not meant for intergalactic diplomatic negotiations.

Evil eyes

The first two sentences as a hook for a book inspired by an image

READ A NEWBIE

Truman

The untold story of America's 33rd president

Who am i

This is a exploration of identity, self-perception and human condition.

The Woman of Evermore City

Thy story is based on the queens of England and their stories of Revenge. Also ficton

~Sojourn.

Embracing trials as catalysts for soul growth, inner transformation, and eternal freedom.

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

Why?

A children's poem to encourage learning

This Broken Earth

Chapter 2: Upper Sector

One Amazing Life

A glimpse into my amazing life. Topics include writing, poker, cooking, life, and more.

Kissed

A testimony of the Mercy and Glory of God. Song lyrics.

Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/33

LightinMind

Review Requests: ON

2,435 Public Reviews Given

2,435 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.

STATIC

My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing

(E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind

I'm good at...

More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.

Favorite Genres

Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.

Least Favorite Genres

Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.

Favorite Item Types

I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.

Least Favorite Item Types

Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.

I will not review...

I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.

Public Reviews

Previous ... 29 30 31 32 -33- 34 35 36 37 38 ... Next

801

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14 days may be credited.

#4617022

Review of A Whole New World

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, Rhyssa

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "A Whole New World"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

I think she loves him!

Commentary

Any guy who can transform the very weather so that the rain is always warm and who can choreograph the stars into a dance just for you is quite a catch. Or this is a serious case of love-induced rose-tinted glasses.

This is a homey picture of romance all flowers and baking smells and the smell of a fresh cut lawn. Yet so also this love manages to continually surprise and remain exciting.

This is the kind of love that sets a person free to dream and yet is also utterly dependent on the beloved.

I am usually a bit of a cynic with romantic stories and poems but I really liked this one and do not have anything negative to say about it.

Mechanical issues

None worth mentioning.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

802

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14 days may be credited.

#4617020

Review of Lost to Fear

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello, Soldier_Mike

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Lost to Fear"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

His cowardice meant that he did not save Cassie and his panicked reaction to the shark doomed him. His last question: Can such cowardice be forgiven?

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

You have the man and Cassie who might be a love interest or family/friend. He failed to save her in the heat of the moment.

I guess the whole point of these mini-plots is that they leave the reader pregnant with questions. How did the fire start that caused the problem with the sailboat? Could he have put the fire out if he had been more together? Who was Cassie? Why was he so afraid? Could there have been a better outcome anyway given the sharks?

We have all experienced these moments of testing when we should have manned up and done the right thing.

As the good book says there are no cowards in heaven unless forgiveness can be obtained. Would he have done it all differently if he had been given a second chance?

Mechanical issues

Did not find any issues and liked the story.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

803

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14 days may be credited.

#4616885

Review of Dark Visitor

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello, 🌖 HuntersMoon

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Dark Visitor"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Enamored by the dream of romantic love she finds that connection with someone. But then they are taken from her by sickness and he dies. She seeks desperately to find a way to get him back. Finally, an old dark arts hag finds a way that they can be reunited...

Commentary

All very witch of Endor. The idolatry of romantic love makes her obsessions slave. She is willing to try anything. The Hag was right this was the only way they could be reunited. There is nothing magical about poison but there is a finality about it.

As a Christian, I would have two main reactions to this woman. Idolizing romantic love is stupid. Take it as a gift, enjoy it while it lasts, but do not pretend it is a substitute for God Almighty. Second, she looks in all the wrong places because she lacks all perspective, her idolatry has distorted her sense of reality to the point that she cannot see boundaries.

Not sure what the hag gains from simply poisoning her. To destroy life might be reward enough for a servant of the dark side I suppose but I would have thought she would have at least asked the woman to give her all her money also.

When people talk about romantic connections beyond the grave they always seem a little wild-eyed fantastical to me. Orgasms give us glimpses of pure joy but living in God's light is pure joy all the time, a romantic connection fades by way of significance in that eternal and awesome presence. When my grandfather died all sorts of good things happened the next few days like he was organizing stuff. Then he moves on into God's Light and you just know he is in a better place. When these romantic connections across lifetimes end in murders and suicides and stupidities like that articulated here all I see is the distorting and harmful effects of idolatry.

Mechanical issues

None another masterwork.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

804

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14 days may be credited.

#4616880

Review of Two Voices

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, An apple a day....

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Two Voices"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The writer is plagued by two voices, one that discourages and the other that affirms. Let the positive overcome the negative so that she can write.

Commentary

It is so true, most people who write may never be internationally acclaimed super authors but does that stop them from writing? More than a million books are published each year now and the possibility of success often seems remote. It would be so easy to despair and simply give up.

A writer needs to know why they write and what the value of that is. Personally, I feel I have a story that I must write someday that is somehow important and must be heard, but that I need to develop to a point where what I write works for others and grabs them and where I am confident I have truly mastered the craft. In the meantime, I find that writing helps with preaching and is a kind of therapy as I work through a lifetime of undigested thoughts, feelings, and experiences. The basis of resilience is therefore for me the desire to learn, digest, and improve and one day articulate that story.

Your poem reminded me of a sermon I once gave where I used an angel and a devil puppet each perched on one shoulder whispering contradictory advice into my ears.

Glad the good guys won in your personal story.

Mechanical issues

2x4 then 1x2 then repeat. First two lines rhyming each time.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

805

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14 days may be credited.

#4616876

Review of Not a Whisper is Heard

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, Prosperous Snow celebrating

}. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Not a Whisper is Heard"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Cold house, cannot speak, so glad I am a writer, not a singer. Must get the heat pump fixed and will wrap up until the Laryngitus passes.

Commentary

Wow, you really sound in a bad way. No place for Alexa, Siri, or Cortana today. I always used to take honey in hot water but not sure how medically effective that is.

The notion that a writer's voice speaks from a tortured, spluttering, silence on pain meds was an interesting one. The price of one's art.

People in my industry are really trying to push voice control and activation right now. But a great many people are not comfortable with this and prefer silence anyway. I use Alexa for reminders, alarms, lights, and background music and do not want a personal conversation with it.

Mechanical issues

There was sort of a structure and then there was not.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

806

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14 days may be credited.

#4616875

Review of Hard to hug a hippo

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, Adherennium

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Hard to hug a hippo"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Do not hug a hippo until it has eaten its tea.

Commentary

So the Hippo is the star here and the careful feeders attending characters. Apparently, Hippos eat cake, sandwiches without the crusts, buttered crumpets, and some toast.

Must admit I did not realize that Hippos were herbivores. As you suggest a hungry Hippo is perhaps the most dangerous of animals capable of eating a lion or a crocodile when hungry or annoyed. But mainly it prefers fruit and veg, perhaps even with a little cake thrown in.

Apparently, they eat about 88 pounds of food a day. Half the size of an average American male. This is not that much considering how much they way but still impressive. That is a lot of petit fours.

I liked your poem which was funny and good advice. Do not attempt to hug a Hungry Hippo. Not sure you have the dietary requirement quite down pat yet though.

Mechanical issues

8 lines all rhyming with unnecessary split in 5th line. Nice rhythm.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

807

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14 days may be credited.

#4616750

Review of New Start

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, bas

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I saw this piece "New Start"

via random review and it looked interesting. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

He is opening a three-layered burger joint against all the odds.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

His family and indeed the whole world are the antagonists and you are the protagonist. You have apparently beaten the odds to create a burger joint that sells three-layered burgers. I guess the success or failure of this venture hinges on three layers of what?

We have no reason given here to doubt your word and impressions of the world and family that provided so many obstacles to your success. What is loved here and assumed as an attractive feature of the story for the rest of us is the succulent smell and taste of burgers. Of course, veggies and vegans might have issues, Jews might ask if the meat is kosher and Hindus will object if this is beef. So you are assuming we are all Christians and godless pagans without meat aversion here I suppose.

Now would I be tempted to go to your burger joint? No of course not this is real bad time timing, middle of a pandemic, and all that. You want success but you opened the burger joint in the middle of a recession. Is the crowd outside real, are they wearing masks, are they vaccinated, are they social distancing. Will you be responsible for the new third wave on your very first day open for business

Mechanical issues

You managed to include an error in a 33-word story.

seemed worth as he = seemed worth it as he

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

808

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14 days may be credited.

#4616746

Review of Monday

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, Jacky

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Monday"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Ms. Collins wants a raise but wants to be careful to pick the right moment. Mr. Barnes appears to be attracted to Ms. Collins but has yet to overcome his nervousness about that. When Ms. Collins picks her moment Mr. Barnes's reaction is not what she expected.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

There are two characters here: Mr. Barnes the boss and Ms. Collins the employee.

Mr. Barnes's feelings for Ms. Collins appear to have him paralyzed when she is around and especially if she touches him. But rather than admit that he pretends to be ill and goes home.

It appears that eventually, she gets what she wants but it remains mysterious as to whether Mr. Barnes ever summons up the courage to ask her out.

I wonder if HR will regard it as an abuse of his position when he does? I liked the trick with the vertical sorters. Always wondered how women did that eyes in the back of their head thing.

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

809

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616738

Review of A Long Time Loving

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Hello, cdcraftee

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "A Long Time Loving"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Those who love remember but also forget much. Poems like this help to reclaim memories from the mists of time, the early overwhelming romantic feelings, the mature realization of steady love, victories in the name of love.

There is also a choice involved here to honor one's vows and to love against the odds. At times one partner carries the full load and the other is indifferent and then the roles reverse. It is an act of will to preserve the history and memory of love, a choice to honor promises made before God and human witnesses. Other times love is effortless and flows like an irresistible force. Maybe looking back we see things with rose-colored glasses and miss the ugly fights and battles to keep things going, we miss the darkness that almost overwhelmed love and the dragons slain in love's name.

At the end that unspoken bond that unites two people seems as though it carries an inevitability about it but in fact it walked a tight rope over the abyss and watched people falling in before and behind. It is a miracle that love survives in our modern culture, that it makes it too old age. A miracle to be celebrated in poems like this.

Mechanical issues

It was free form and flexible.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

810

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14 days may be credited.

#4616603

Review of Nihilistic nice guy

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (3.5)

Hello, Djinn

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Nihilistic nice guy"

via the a search with key word 'atheist'. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A nihilist criticizes his ex-girlfriend who believes she has a soul, who believes in heaven and angels.

Commentary

She is probably better off without the character portrayed in this poem. The poem has no consolation to offer her regarding her lost brother.

Does this line actually work on women?

your the best looking...
piece of decaying organic matter I've ever seen

The nihilism expressed here is reductionist. People become animals and human beings lose that essential transcendence that just about every successful human culture has recognized exists for all of human history. The justification for this cruelty and nastiness is given as intellectual honesty but the sense of reality is only skin deep and expresses a sense of emptiness that taints all the words. Many of the world's top scientists are Christians but here the scientific jargon is misused to justify unbelief. Since the existence of God cannot be proven or disproven with this approach it is intellectually dishonest to play with scientific words like this.

The whole thing reeks of a smart man bullying a good girl with lies.

Mechanical issues

The stars are for the quality of writing and despite its content. At least you are not boring.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

811

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14 days may be credited.

#4616599

Review of Penitent

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hello, ~Sue~

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Penitent"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A man took a woman that he knew he should not. He offered her a promise he knew he would never fulfill. Now he feels guilty and restless, roaming around, he wonders how he can be redeemed.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

The poem suggests that self-justification is possible and that wrong can be made right by a series of correct deeds.

So much I have to do to be guilt free.
So many wrongs I have to remedy.

The simple answer to the guilt of this sort is a changing of ones ways and an accepting of Jesus Christ and the gift of redemption He alone can offer. Nothing a flawed person does can redeem them from sins. As whatever they do is tainted by those same sins.

But sometimes also people like to wallow, even in the worst of memories.

I liked this lines descriptive power:

And now I roam around in search of peace.
The more I seek, it seems the less I find.
What can I do to still the restless beast
that treads the tangled jungle of my mind?

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

812

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616598

Review of Santa’s Letter

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, Sumojo

. This is another review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Santa’s Letter"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A Faustian bargain for a longer life or just an innocent child's spelling error on a letter to Santa. Martin is dying of cancer, or is he?

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Personally, I do not believe that a contract with the devil cannot be broken. It is a simple matter of appealing to a higher authority and then having the fine paid for you by that Higher Power. I have met Satanists who were convinced that there was no way out for them that their souls were owned because of the promises they made. But the cross breaks all such bargains and even the worst of sinners can be redeemed.

Martin's motives here were staying with his family and ones of love.

This was well written albeit a little disturbing.

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

813

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616597

Review of Sunshine and Shadows

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, QueenNormaJean Julyishereboom!

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Sunshine and Shadows"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Charity Dawn is coming back to Paradise as a Mega Star country singer-songwriter. Most are happy but not Joseph Haigle the unceremoniously dumped ex-boyfriend. A crowd of 300 gather in the local park in the middle of a storm to hear the concert. But the blizzard and freezing rain that followed ended the concert. Joseph comes to her rescue.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Charity Dawn(Jane Wilson) singer-songwriter from Paradise wants to do a concert in her hometown.
Joseph Haigle the ex-boyfriend still harbors bad feelings about being dumped by Jane before her period of great success. But somehow the storm brings them back together and now Charity is called Jane again.

I guess Fortune, Fame, and success can be at the price of something better all too often. Jane sacrificed love to become Charity and yet love in the form of Joseph Haigle was there for her when she needed him and to remind her of what mattered.

This is a simple story that resonates.

Mechanical issues

None I found.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

814

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616595

Review of Twenty-nine

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, T.J.Gunn

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Twenty-nine"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Here we have the real explanation for the success of some of the truly great writers. A Faustian bargain and a 29 book series and then the contract is fulfilled. Scary stuff.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

I did a google search on Jack J Novak and got a blonde woman. Your style is so realistic you had me believing the characters actually existed. This was very well written even if the plot is disturbingly familiar.

I wonder if this was a subliminal jab at publishing houses that demand a little too much from their authors and who shape their material in directions that they do not want to go.

It is probably true that anyone could write though not everyone has a story worth telling or indeed hearing. Tales promoted by demonically inspired Agencies fall into the category of stories not worth hearing.

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

815

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616445

Review of Soap Opera

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Hello, Sumojo

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Soap Opera"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Beryl is addicted to Valium and Soap operas. She takes a glass of wine and too much Valium in front of her favorite soap where Brooke and Ridge are arguing in dramatic and possibly deadly fashion. Suddenly the line between make-believe and reality becomes very blurred.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Beryl is a sad case, deceptive in her pursuit of Valium, her life alone and cold in her apartment except for a hungry cat. She finds emotional warmth in the wine, the Valium, and the canned drama of the Soap. Then suddenly she is in the scene itself and while the rest of the world wonder if it was Brooke or Ridge that got shot she knows that she herself took the bullet.

Soaps are not the news so they do not involve live ammo. Valium is not a Narnia drug opening portals to alternate realities. Yet somehow this story rings true anyway and Beryl finally reaps a consequence from that parallel emotional dimension she loves to lose herself in while she neglects her flat, her life, and her cat in the real world.

This is a woman incapable of living in the real world now wounded by an alternate reality she had hoped to escape to instead. It is a story of some emotional power that like a bullet in the shoulder should jolt even the worst of addicts back to reality where she must face up to the person she has allowed herself to become.

Mechanical issues

None I spotted.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

816

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616444

Review of The vessel

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hello, WakeUpAndLive

}. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "The vessel"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Genie is a performer(maybe singer) at the local pub who appears to sell blue pills on the side. Her daughter's teddy bear Boo provides a convenient place to hide the pills. The scene is the hurricane, Katrina. Genie's pub performance is canceled and they flee to grandma and grandad. But then they realize they left Boo behind. They return and Genie is arrested while breaking and entering the pub to get the Teddy Bear. The police do not discover the pills and the next day she is on her way in the worst of the hurricane. While Genie sings her daughter is strangely quiet.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Genie sounds like a struggling mum trying to make some money on the side. Nancy is just a girl with a teddy bear called Boo. This story was tragic, you built up the feelings for the child and her lost teddy so well and then you drop that ending on us all. Genie's screaming matched the roaring winds of the hurricane better than her singing did. I guess the police had other things on their mind that night but they should have checked the bear.

I had a feeling of horrible waste regarding Nancy and anger towards Genie as a result of the story. But the situation was all so horribly wrong and the simple and pleasant scene of mother and daughter interacting was thoroughly replaced by the screaming chaos of the hurricane at stories end.

Mechanical issues

None.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

817

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4616440

Review of The Paradise Cigar Lounge

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hello, flyfishercacher

}. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "The Paradise Cigar Lounge"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Jacques Clousseau finds himself in the Paradise Cigar lounge with a bunch of great literary figures from across the ages. He assumes he is there to solve a crime and then he meets Peter and finds out the truth.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Jacques's refined sense of smell tells him all sorts of things about the scene. He has a remarkable gift for recognizing faces, even of people he could never have possibly met in real life like Shakespeare and Chaucer. Did he know them from pictures, were their pictures accurate?

He copes with his disorientation with the new situation by reverting to type and trying to solve the case. Will we do the same when confronted by the entirely new and unexpected?

I liked the idea that his experience of this fascinating place and interaction with the literary greats required St Peter to check him in first. Before that, he has only the taste of heaven, not the reality.

It seems all very familiar and informal in heaven with Peter asking to be called Pete, does this informality indicate that he will indeed be checked in. A great many conservative Evangelical colleagues will be horrified to discover that people will smoke in heaven. This is described as a place of spirits but the smells and sensual experiences of the flesh resonate through the scene.

Mechanical issues

None found.

Thanks for sharing.

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14 days may be credited.

#4616255

Review of Way Down We Go

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, T.J.Gunn

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Way Down We Go"

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Mrs. Nelson wants to die. She does not have the courage to do the dirty deed herself. So she offers cash reward details obtainable from her pocket on an SD card for Matt to collect on murder. But Matt is a debt collector, not an assassin, and declines the offer. It seems Pat the Cat a French lady on the run from a Marseilles street gang does the dirty deed but does not know where the SD card is. Matt collects it from the dead body and the Pat the Cat follows him home to steal it off him. He apparently remembers all the details on the SD card even though she steals that and his phone. So a nasty surprise is waiting for Pat when she comes to collect.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This was very vivid writing and engaging also. You really made the scenes and characters come alive. Mrs. Nelson has cancer wants to die and was believably cowardly about the actual manner of her departure. Pat the Cat the good-looking, blonde female, violent, French gangster was a little cartoonish and the manner of her death was extreme, but it worked. Matt himself seems focused on his debt collection business and model and yet quite happy to kill when crossed. He had no problem taking a reward he did not 'earn' yet collects other people's debts for a living. Pat the Cat actually 'earned' the fee for the murder so technically the money belonged to her and Matt had no right to collect it from the locker and replace it with the shotgun. Maybe Matt needs to rethink the consistency of his business model.

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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819

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14 days may be credited.

#4616252

Review of Survival

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hello, Sumojo

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Survival "

on the Dreamweaver Fireside Tales Anthology "Fireside Tales"

. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Working out in the gym watching a survivalist in the jungle on the TV there Sam is stirred to go do likewise. However, this is more of a challenge than he envisaged and includes a contest with a Great Boar. The man who comes out of the jungle at the end of this may be exhausted, starving, and emaciated but he survived and he has a trophy with him to show his friend Dave.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Sam is the wanna be survivalist who finds the jungle a more daunting test than he anticipated. Dave is his friend who does his best to dissuade his friend. There is also a mysterious figure in the jungle who appears to be eaten by the Boar.

How Sam managed to cut the Boars head head off with a knife in his weakened state is a mystery to be resolved over beers and many conversations.

It is fascinating to think that Australia has such a diverse landscape as this with deserts and jungles in the same country. I enjoyed this story which made the jungle and this test of manhood come alive.

The contrast between the youthful invincible arrogance of a young man pushing weights in from of gym mirrors and the man who came out of the jungle is something that all men can relate to, though most men are not tested by a jungle.

Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

820

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14 days may be credited.

#4616241

Review of Mondakota Racing

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, QueenNormaJean Julyishereboom!

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "Mondakota Racing"

on the Dreamweaver Anthology. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Harry from 1830 Montana wakes up in 2150 in the Sovereign country of Mondakota with a knock on his head. He is surrounded by Jet Bikes circling him. Millie looks after him and puts him up in town overnight. Apparently, it is all just a mistake but how will he get back?

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Interesting contrast between two different time frames, two modes of transport and even two countries but in the same geographical place. Harry reads like a simple Rancher but seems to take things in his stride. The use of time travel technology to consult with the inventor of the Indian motorbike was amusing and possibly dangerous in terms of polluting timelines etc.

Nags the horse seems more at home in both worlds than Harry, after all, grass is grass.

Mechanical issues

None that I found.

Thanks for sharing.

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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821

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14 days may be credited.

#4616240

Review of The Desert Road

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hello, Sumojo

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I noticed your work "The Desert Road"

on the Dreamweaver Anthology. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The whole world is talking about the approaching UFO. But Carlos has troubles of his own, thinks the whole thing a hoax, and prefers to think about his experience with luscious Lucy the barmaid from town. But then after bright lights and an experience which he blanks out he wakes up naked in his cab. This is only the beginning of his and the world's troubles.

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Carlos works in an Australian cattle station in Kimberley Australia. He liked sleeping with luscious Lucy, he had taken the truck without permission and was already on thin ice with his boss. Jimmy, a skilled aboriginal tracker and his flatmate and coworker, and the angry Boss are the other peripheral characters here. The story is focused on the alien experience.

The experience of the aliens is not one he remembers when he wakes but included ghostly bubbles descending from the heavens, some kind of EM pulse that knocked out his car engine, involved him being stripped naked and then carried back into his vehicle from the road. The experience drains his energy and he passes out. It appears then he becomes the host of thousands of spider-like creatures that grow inside him until leaving him to infect his colleagues and the planet with a deadly virus.

One question I had was why the aliens stripped him naked each time and who stripped him naked the second time? Tiny spiders might have some problems removing his pants, or did they eat his clothes?

Overall this was very well-written scary stuff.

Mechanical issues

Some minor points easily corrected:

had at last surrender to his good looks and charm = had, at last, surrendered to his good looks and charm

At first it was thought it was a regular asteroid = At first, it was thought it was a regular asteroid

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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822

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14 days may be credited.

#4615351

Review of Is Comparison hurting you?

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.0)

Hello, muskankallra

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Is Comparison hurting you?"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Should we continually compare ourselves to others or should we affirm each person's special uniqueness?

Commentary

Much of modern science and verbiage is based on analogies between the things we do know and then makes guesses about the stuff we can only speculate about. There is no scientific proof or experiment to demonstrate the validity of the Big Bang, Abiogenesis, Macro-Evolution. We say all sorts of meaningful things about human psychology but being able to say Bipolar disorder does not actually heal anybody. We compare our love with that of others to point out the ways in which they are failing but without an understanding of the history, experience, and decisions that informed those people's paths. Comparisons are the curse of our age. We reduce people into numbers, I am 6 foot three and big, he is small and short, so what, what does that add to anything how does that add any value to a person's life. Sometimes I think our desire to categorize and to reduce to statistics the wonder and the beauty of life, the universe, and everything has gone too far. Why cannot we simply live with the uncertainty of not knowing everything of relating to others, not as people we have labeled, categorized, and filed under whatever title but rather finding and celebrating the uniqueness and the newness in every human soul, in every plant, in every rock and ultimately in God. To live in world of mystery requires more faith and more courage than most of us are capable of. But the advantage is that we wake up every morning to brand new creation, to new opportunities for discovery and growth.

Mechanical issues

What you said was great but your English was not.

sometimes and always in the same sentence?

Break up your sentences with full stops and try and think about how someone else will read them. Ask yourself will they understand what I am saying.

No need for 'ahead' on the end of: Have a great day ahead.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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823

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14 days may be credited.

#4615341

Review of Just Like Any Other Boy

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hello, winklett

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Just Like Any Other Boy"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A poem written from the perspective of an autistic child cared for by his father. He experiences the father's heartbeat when being held, his smiles, his kisses, and his songs. He plays with him in the playground, his tickles and laughs with him.

Commentary

This brings back some memories and it only seems like yesterday in fact when I held my own kids like this. How quickly they grow up. Not sure I could hoist my son up the stairs now as he has grown so big. I like the idea of the mother interpreting the son's response to the father and writing a poem based on the positive things they share together. This is a poem that affirms rather than tears down that relationship, so crucial to the son's self-esteem and his self-understanding later on.

Tomorrow is father's day in the USA and so this is a topical poem for that occasion. Here in Germany, we had this on HimmelFahrt (Ascension day) in mid-May. In Germany this is traditionally a day when the fathers get to do their own thing and often go off drinking with other men, having been good dads for the rest of the year. It is a day that marks their transcendence. In America, I have noticed the imagery seems to stress the relational aspect of the fathers with their kids more and the intimacy between father and son. It almost seems like a reminder to the dad to do his job rather than a reward to him for his love and devotion throughout the rest of the year.

Mechanical issues

None.

Thanks for sharing.

** Image ID #1900402 Unavailable **

"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .

824

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14 days may be credited.

#4615237

Review of Aya

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Hello, Sam N. Yago

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Aya"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Population pressure mounts causing wars and resource shortages, so drastic measures are required. So world leaders implemented the full moon birth law.

Commentary

Fears about the growth of population compared to available resources have been around for centuries. A gentleman called Malthus was proven wrong by massive increases in land utilization and productivity. It is interesting that one of the few countries to implement such drastic population control measures with forced abortions and the one-child policy is now reversing its policy and even allows families to have 3 children if they want. The problem is that very few people are taking up the offer. The world's population is already beginning to stabilize outside African, Muslim, and Indian areas. the key seems to be poverty. Basically poor people have more babies, as people get richer they have fewer babies.

In practice, we have an almost unlimited potential to expand if we start thinking about stacked greenhouses, space habitats and even living underground.

Still, I liked the fugitive tale of protecting the child you love by being on the run.

Mechanical issues

And, as all wars in mankind's past = And, as with all wars in mankind's past

the world leaders at the time decided to enact a law = the world leaders of the time decided to enact a law

That was when a subsequent regime implemented a tragic-- yet still considered the most humane-- resolution. - Needs rewriting

Thanks for sharing.

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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

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825

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14 days may be credited.

#4615230

Review of Garbage Out....Eventually

Review by LightinMind

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hello, Grin 'n Bear It!

. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"

I received "Garbage Out....Eventually"

via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The author is worried that the revelations that people fill his mind with may well spill out in all sorts of embarrassing ways in later life. He is determined not to listen to strangers and friends' accounts of large corpulent females spreadeagled on the bed yelling take me now and various prime insults of his short boss such as sawn-off f§$%&/r. And after all, if we cannot talk about these things what else is there?

Commentary

Reality TV, Big Brother, Harry and Meghan's latest interview, Oprah per see- there is a lot to avoid on the TV if you want to avoid stuffing your mind with rubbish. And then there are the total strangers who insist on those toxic self-revelations that you just know will be the only thing left spewing out of you when dementia and age have done their worst.

Or we could pick better friends with more interesting stories and learn how to shut people up when they get boring or stray across borders. Isn't that what Pandemics and Zoom are for. We have the mute button available now for our interactions with strangers. Well, this was written pre-covid so his aspirations seem now to be manifested in a year of lockdown and changed modes of social interaction. In fact, people are blaming China for something it seems 'Grin'n Bear It!' was aspiring to long before covid19 happened. Ummm suspicious coincidence or just a thought that is easier to live with that than corpulent female spreadeagled on the bed. You said not had sex since hell froze over which was a little puzzling since the lake of fire still seems to be cooking demons. So that got me wondering about the location of hell in your worldview and why its weather conditions were so at odds with the general understanding. I have concluded that you are hiding out in a freezer which is the only place in your house that you cannot hear people's voices and the sound of the TV and that you are an unhealthy shade of blue. But maybe this image is a false one that I will be unable to stop sharing at the age of 92 if and when I lose my marbles.

Mechanical issues

To busy enjoying it so sorry missed all these.

Thanks for sharing.

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