Hello, Ellie Robins ![](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/costumicons/ps-icon-regular-10.gif) . This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ! I received "Whispers of Wind" via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.
Reader Experience
Lady Cecily Gregale receives a letter and returns to court with her friend Lady Lillia Giza, ambassador from Abiona. She enters the court to find the Coventrys (Archie, Vasa, and Daecha) who appear related to King Astley already in attendance. Lord Dashell the king's right-hand man ends the meeting before much is said. Cecily has a power, or relationship with the wind which gives her telekinetic and interrogative abilities. But in the King's castle, this wind is mainly silent. Cecily meets prince Anson who spends all day reading in the library with a bedpan beside him.
Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot
The key characters appear to be the blonde Lady Cecily Gregale, she has a hostile face and has not been seen in court since her mother died and her father went off to pursue the Tiraians in the North. She has a strange and magical relationship with the wind. This is telekinetic to change hairstyles and interrogative to listen to the whispers of the courtiers. But this gift is silent now in this stone palace.
Then there is Astley a Boy- King, skinny, drinking in the morning, a little lonely and chatty.
Lady Lillia Giza is Cecily's friend and an ambassador from Abiona, She leaves the scene because "the Dolians are awaiting news of the infiltration." (No idea who the Dolians are.)
Lord Dashnell is the King's right-hand man, he starts court proceedings that banish Cecily before she can have a meaningful conversation with either King or Coventrys.
The Coventrys include Archibald the eldest brother, Vasa, and Daecha and appear to be childhood friends of the king. Their father is away seeking magical solutions to the problems of the land.
Vasa is into sports, females, and refreshments and has tried to seduce most of the eligible females at court.
Daecha sounds a little controversial with strong opinions that might get her into trouble.
Archie is honest and the one in charge of the group.
Daecha is disliked by Aidra, Astley's grumpy and absent older sister.
Anson reads fantasies in the library all day. He has no power as this is concentrated in the hands of the king.
The scene provides a contrast between the opulence and magnificence of the King's palace and the poverty of the common people and points to supernatural issues with the land. The king seems inept and sitting on a sort of Sun King throne in the opulence of a Versailles-like palace while his people starve. He gives no meaningful roles to the useless and gossipy aristocrats that gather in his court room.
Cecily appears to be searching for something and has come to court in response to a letter of which we do not know the contents but which appears to be an invitation to court. Her wind power is silent in the castle and only says Fourth drawer down, the northwest corner.
The description suggests Daecha will be the star but Cecily appears to be the star in these first three chapters. There appears to be some kind of rivalry there. Cecily is dismayed that Daecha arrived before she did.
The list of characters and their interrelationships is quite complex and it was a bit of a struggle to follow at times as new people kept appearing before I had a firm understanding of the existing people you had already introduced. There are all sorts of unanswered questions not least about Cecily's missing father and the Coventrys missing father both away seeking some kind of answer to mysteries that plague the land or dealing with the tragedy of lost wives. Also, why was Cecily exiled from court all those years? This appears a male-dominated society, but it is the females that are driving the story here.
The whole story is pre-technology with the natural and the supernatural intertwined, there is an ascetic appreciation of buildings and transport technologies rather than an engineer's perspective. They use feathers and ink to write here and ride on horses or in carriages.
At the moment no clear protagonist has been established just some kind of curse on the land, an unfair political system, and a rather insubstantial king dominated by the shadowy Lord Dashnell.
Fantasy is not really my genre as it requires a lot of mental effort to abstract into these parallel universes. But here I felt I was on something like familiar territory as I recognized the historical example of the Bourbon kings in the political setup. The supernatural power of the wind is intriguing.
The plot suggests that a boy-king is seeking allies from disempowered and fatherless childhood friends in a court where he appears to have no real friends and where his family hides away in libraries reading fantasy books or in his sister's case sulks in hidden corners. But one wonders how useful these friends will be and why indeed he has summoned them into the same situation which his drinking indicates he finds so hard to handle. Maybe he is just out of his depth and needs their emotional support or maybe he has no idea how to deal with the real problems of his Kingdom. But the wolves and vultures gather all around him.
I am intrigued as to how the curse on the land will be lifted and how the plot will unfold. You have built enough into the story to hook the reader in. The characters are real enough and sufficiently distinct to make for some interesting tensions as the story develops.
My guess is that the story will end with the curse explained and lifted and with some kind of family reunion or at least an explanation relating to the lost fathers. Also, the apparent rivalry between Daecha and Cecily will be expounded on.
Mechanical issues
These sentences need corrections:
To Cecily, King Astley looks as though he could squashed like a bug. =
To Cecily, King Astley looked as though he could be squashed like a bug.
she practically slaps everytime she sees him reading those silly little tales he’s entertained with = she practically slaps him every time she sees him reading those silly little tales he’s entertained with
And with that, the plan has been righted = And with that, the plan was back on course.
They both definitely stare at each other. = They both defiantly stare at each other.
Look, you’re clearly new here, Lady...whatever your name is, so just go away and forget this ever happened = Look, you’re clearly new here, Lady...whatever your name is, so just go away and I will forget this ever happened
little loft area is a portrait of a man she didn’t know and bedpan. = little loft area is a portrait of a man she didn’t know and a bedpan.
When the wind speaks maybe put it in italics also this sentence was missing a full stop.
Fourth drawer down, the northwest corner
Thanks for sharing.
![Lightbulb Power [#1900402]
Shared Power Group Image](https://www.Writing.Com/main/trans.gif) ![Lightbulb Power [#1900402]
Shared Power Group Image Shared Power Group Image](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1351366712/item_id/1900402.jpg)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" ![](https://www.Writing.Com/nw.gif) |