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2,435 Public Reviews Given
2,435 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
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My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review at random and just see what grabs my attention. I will usually skip stuff I do not like unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
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776
776
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Rhoswen - Relentless Victory Author IconMail Icon. This is a Summer Fun Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Doe In the Park" Open in new Window. via the Summer Fun Raid Review list. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The author sees a doe in the park. He is impressed at her courage grazing so close to traffic. She evokes a peaceful quiet demeanor.


*Quill*Commentary

So we have the author who stands as still as a statue in the park and we have the does eating grass by a busy traffic lane. I found this scene quite surprising as the deer I meet regularly on my cross country runs are generally quite skittish when I disturb them. They will graze in line of sight but only from a distance. But I guess hunters downwind and well-hidden may well disagree with me there. Also, the deer in my area have a lot of green grass well away from roads. Very often I guess when you have thick woods the road is the only place where the sunlight really reaches the grass and it probably tastes better there in heavily wooded areas.

So I guess the doe you saw was hungry and that hunger overcame any fear of cars and this was the best grazing it could get in the circumstances.

I can see how the contrast between the natural and apparently courageous deer grazing so close to dangerous traffic could evoke feelings of courage and peace but in reality, it was probably a mix of hunger and fear driving the deers feeling and presence so close to the road.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

This was a free verse and unstructured without a rhyme. Its coherence is born of the feelings of the writer


Thanks for sharing.

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777
777
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Don Two Author IconMail Icon. This is a Summer Fun Raid Review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Last Telephone Booth " Open in new Window. via the Summer Fun Raid Review list. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

The telephone booth is now an anthropological echo from another era, mystifying Gen Z Zoomers and Generation Alpha babies alike. Good job some of these booths come with how-to manuals strapped on the side. Deeper questions are also provoked in those who remember using them. Where did superman put his clothes when he changed in one of these?

*Quill*Commentary

The last telephone booth, like the first, will probably be British, whatever Guinness says. In Britain, the iconic telephone booth is colored red. When I moved to Germany we discovered one in a neighbors garden. When they were sold off he had acquired one. We also bought a miniature one and put a candle inside it to welcome visitors to our front door in mid-Winter.

People do not realize how much changes with mobiles. I had my first one comparatively late however mainly for work. But now I cannot imagine going out without one and I and my children and wife use them for everything.

But the first mass communication networks were the telegram and then later the telephone, and dependent on cabling to each and every unit. Now the cables go to the masts or the router in our homes and we are wireless. These boxes holding phones are now redundant relics but far from forgotten yet.

The telephone revolutionized human life. For me, there was far more magic in that than the mythical superman has ever brought us.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

It was a creatively structured second stanza squeezed inside two other stanzas.


Thanks for sharing.

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778
778
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Redtowrite Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Courage of a Lioness" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Poem about the courage of Fannie Lou Hamer. She fought for black rights when it was dangerous to do so speaking at Democratic Convention of 1964.

*Quill*Commentary

A remarkable lady who overcame a lot for a just cause and helped to change the way Americans think about black voters and people. Any tribute to her seems like time well spent.

The history of black slavery in the USA and the slow march towards freedom and equality appears quite tortured and slow from an outsider's perspective. The USA is an overwhelmingly Christian nation so is it not obvious that all people regardless of skin color have been created in God's image, are equally saved by Christ, and have the same dignity, therefore, and hope. Is not the implication of the Declaration of Independence a similar one:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

And yet there are still massive disparities in wealth and opportunity. There are ongoing efforts to disenfranchise Democrat-leaning black voters in some Republican states. It is all a little mystifying but poems like this are a part of the solution.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

The rhyming structure was variable with the first 3 stanzas rhyming a-b then the last 2 not. Stanzas 2-4 rhymed c-d. Stanza 5 rhymed b-d.


Thanks for sharing.

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779
779
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Winchester Jones Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Back Story Protagonist" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Reuben is faced with an impossible choice. He can be brave and allow his daughter to be raped and expose a human trafficking organization. Or he can let the bad guys win.


*Quill*Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

The list of characters includes Silo Pol antagonist, human trafficker, tall and handsome; JoAnne is the kidnapped daughter; Reuben Rule is the father trying to save his daughter and the protagonist in this tale; Greco is Silo Pol's enforcer. A wiry man with tattoos on his arms. He gropes Donna and calls her an "it"; Silencio is the man that Silo Pol wants to catch; It is not clear who Donna is.

Silo is trying to catch Silencio who might have the saved trafficked girls with him including a special one called Abi and also documentation that could be used to prosecute him as a human trafficker. Reuben may well have been trying to save some girls he was trafficking but failed in that endeavor. Silo has kidnapped JoAnne and she will be raped unless Reuben gives up Silencio. When Grecio gropes Donna Reuben acts to defend Donna but being shackled succeeds only in falling over, hitting Donna, and wounding and humiliating himself. So it seems Reuben will do as Silo wants despite Donna's protestations and Abi. He is no hero.

I guess the ideal outcome here is that Grecio and Silo go to jail and JoAnne is released unharmed and the girls get their freedom also and Reuben and Donna live to tell the tale. This story offers no hope of that and it seems that Silo will get what he wants instead. But that seemed impossible. So the right course of action was for Reuben to allow his daughter to be raped and possibly Donna also and take the heat himself. Thereby Silencio could get the proof to convict Silo of his crimes to the authorities. So that outcome was far from ideal but at least it would have ended the human trafficking. In the end, Reuben just tells Silo what he wants to know. This was the worst possible outcome.

I found the story difficult to follow and there was too much to work out. I had to read and then reread to work out the plot. It is quite dark with some impossible choices and in this account, the worst possible choice is taken by Reuben and the bad guys win.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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780
780
Review of The Web  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, warriormom. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

Thoughts are connected as if in a spider's web. A spider's brain is too small to conceive the web it creates and yet the web is created. This web connects to no other spider's web. Spiders being nearly blind, rely on their webs to "see" their prey.


*Quill*Commentary

Interesting comparison of the spider's web with thought. Blind leaps of faith prompted by tugs on a near-invisible web, spun out of programming. I guess this is a kind of exploration of the human subconscious and how connections prompt programmed reactions. But how much of the veracity of the thought process can actually be validated and verified?

Thought-provoking piece.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

Did not notice any and it was a cool idea that blinded me to any mistakes anyway.


Thanks for sharing.

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781
781
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, Detective Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "I Heard the Sound of Raging Thunder" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

*Quill*Reader Experience

A storm is growing, not just one with dark clouds, rain, and lightning. A storm is coming that is born of some evil and it brings war. But who is ready to confront this evil. Who will stand with the author against the encroachment of a dark night. He is reassured by the gentle warm breeze that he will not be alone in this fight.


*Quill*Commentary

Well-written powerful stuff. You had me grabbing for my sword and shield and summoning the squire to prepare my horse for battle.

I am used to these feelings of impending doom threatening all I hold dear because I grew up in the Cold War. Not sure Gen Z and Alpha really get the fear factor here. China seems far away, Russia hacks remotely and most Americans could not point out Crimea on a map. Islam broke into people's consciousness with events like 911 and 77 but the modern generation are more afraid of covid than war even though the chances of a young person dying of this are minimal. Indeed many realize this and do not live in fear at all.

There were similar feelings in the twenties and thirties. People thought that we had fought the war to end all wars and only a madman would do that again. Unfortunately, the world is well stocked with madmen and so evil is always emerging on the horizon like an impending storm.

Anyway loved this poem, it was well written and interesting.


*Quill*Mechanical issues

None.


Thanks for sharing.

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782
782
Review of You Wink  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello, ~Sue~ Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "You Wink" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The wink distracted her, she smiled, and then...

Commentary

Loved this, very funny. It made me laugh over coffee this morning.

It reminds me of the time when I was chatting away with a girl I was obsessed with, but never stood a chance with, as a school kid while we walked with a group of friends down a street. I was so absorbed in our conversation and just being with her that I did not pay attention to where I was walking. I walked straight, bang, slap into a lamppost, and fell down. Humiliating! But it makes me smile now that I think back about it.

Mechanical issues

None.

Thanks for sharing.

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783
783
Review of Help Wanted  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Genipher Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Help Wanted" Open in new Window. via the Sci Fi Competition list for May. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Dr. Nobody is hiring and Minion who studied at the Lackey Academy of Flunkies has very few options on the table and is desperate for a job. Having accepted a job that requires him to call Dr. Nobody Master and accept the title of Minion for himself he is given a tour of a very impressive lab. This includes giant rats and finally, as the piece-de-la-resistance a time-traveling bicycle. The rescue of Fluffy the cat being the key to Dr.Nobodys plans to take over the world.


Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

This was a highly entertaining read but the connection with science was shady at best. You took a lot of pet mad scientist themes and crowded them ALL into a single short story. Maybe I should applaud your ambition and the result was entertaining. But this is more comedy than sci-fi in my opinion.

For example, you talked about your time-traveling bike requiring 1.21 GW of power (The same number as the Back to the Future DeLorean. Pedaling furiously would generate just over 100 Watts. To generate the amounts you needed here would require 3.125m solar panels or 412 Utility-scale Wind turbines or 1.3 m horses to put it into perspective.

Also, parts of the plot were a little confused or lacked anything like a plausible explanation. When did he get cloned for instance?

When I was a post-grad in an arty-farty type subject area I had a lot of scientist Ph.D. friends whom I would hang out with. Most of them were minions of some professor who would work them like slaves and then take much of the credit for their experiments. That was the deal. They got a Ph.D. at the end in exchange for 4 years of servitude. So your description of the Dr. Nobody HR management sounded quite familiar to me and made me chuckle.

I did like the Dr.Nobody character as he fitted the mad scientist profile very well. Though I doubt his polymathic proclivity in fields as diverse as genetic engineering and temporal mechanics. Also, I am cynical regarding the possibility of time travel back in time as the theoretical science supporting that does not exist.

So to summarise I found this hilarious and well-written but unhinged from anything like a credible storyline or proper science.


Mechanical issues

This was well written.


Thanks for sharing.

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784
784
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Hello, PureSciFi Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Everyone Was Going Mad About Science" Open in new Window. via the May SciFi competition list. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Angra has found a solution to the agelessness of the Yanti population which is apparently also characterized by madness. He kills the entire population of the planet.


Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Angra is the villain of Yanti who according to your plot turns out to be its Savior by killing much of the population excluding the youngest adults that survived his experimentation process

Also while the scientific delivery system for Angra's solutions appears to be these Space Projectiles I was not clear what they did the first time - did they stop everybody from aging. It seems the application of the solution to older adults killed them all including Angra the scientist. This also was not very clear.

I found the plot a little confusing and the grammatical errors very distracting. But there may well have been a good story under here relating to overpopulation and the aging process.


Mechanical issues

“That’s fine with me,” said angra = “That’s fine with me,” said Angra

Capitalization issues. Begin sentences with capitals: e.g.

then she looked up at the monitors again - Then

This sentence seems all wrong:

after it exploded red rain droplets rained
down on the Yantians outside of buildings and buildings too. Did you mean:

After it exploded red rain droplets rained
down on the Yantians inside and outside of the buildings.

There are a lot of awkwardly phrased sentences also missing words e.g.

Once they were the transport left. - Once
they were in the transport left.

Conflicting tenses in this sentence:
As she read each result, she closes her eyes
tight, squinting them, and smiles


Thanks for sharing.

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785
785
Review of This Appearance  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, THANKFUL SONALI Magical Days! Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I saw "This Appearance" Open in new Window. in the winners list of the What a Character Contest. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Kalinda does not know how beautiful she is despite the collective gasps of the art class when she takes her clothes off. She took her clothes off for Manish. He seems dead set on making her into a successful model, but she is only interested in his feelings about her and how he looks at her.


Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Kalinda is beautiful from a family of beautiful women. Everybody loves a beautiful woman but her character seems simple. She wants the approval of the man she loves and that only. She takes off her clothes or models those of fashion designers for him. She is modest and does not believe she is as beautiful as she really is. That modesty about her own physical perfection is charming but is it the basis of an interesting character. Kalinda is the kind of woman that would grab the attention of every man she walked past. That said, where is the personality that would keep them interested in her when her looks eventually fade. My cat recently died. This animal was pretty and she was utterly devoted to my wife. I held her dead body in my arms when the breath of life in her departed. Something had left, her distinctive personality was no longer there. But she was not on the same level as a human being. But reading your story I do not see any level of personality greater than that of my cats in Kalinda

Manish never seems to truly connect to her as a person. But her entire personality appears to surround connecting with him. So what is there to connect to?

In order to achieve a career, she is not especially interested in, she is tricked by the man she loves. She ends up doing what he wants. Will this result in resentment later as she falls into a role she did not choose for herself?

I guess this is a personal thing but I did not really really warm to Kalinda.


Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

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786
786
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, THoulihan Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Throwing Darts at a Map" Open in new Window. via the items requiring review page. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A single black 23-year-old female, who spent a year living homeless on the streets after a big breakup goes to Phom Penh Cambodia. She has spent the last of her money on the ticket, knows no one there, and is taking a massive step of faith. It proves to be the making of the woman she became.

Commentary

I loved the title, 'throwing darts at a map'. The choice of Cambodia appears quite random. Maybe the point was that it was somewhere else than where you were, a new frontier where new beginnings were possible once again. This pre-covid story of freedom of travel and the use of networking applications to establish contacts in a brand new country is a reminder of a world I want to get back to also. In just 16 hours I will be fully vaccinated and I guess the horizons open up again once more after that. Thanks for sharing your story. The only major disagreement I would have would be the ascription of such dark motivations to your act of faith. You have interpreted the action as something born of insecurity, defeat, and cynicism but it reads to me like the act of a person who felt deep inside that life could be different. It describes how what came before did not necessarily have to shape her future also. It reads like an act of faith.

Mechanical issues

None I noticed.


Thanks for sharing.

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787
787
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, BIG BAD WOLF is Merry Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Elegy to Imagination" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A person grows up and forgets those parallel dimensions of stories and fantasies that kept them so entertained when they were younger. Can this friendship with the realm of dragons and mermaids be restored?

Commentary

Responsibility, life, marriage, jobs, kids - adulthood. Always moving, always doing, going from one thing to the next, no time to read, no time to think, no time to dream. Canned dreams in tv shows fill the gap but you miss the worlds that you created and lived in, in a more carefree youth.

I empathize. But so also the rush of experiences gives fuel for the imagination later on when you do again have more time.


Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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788
788
Review of Listening in Vain  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Ned Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Listening in Vain" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The remembered person had a great voice. The memory tries to recall these sounds.


Commentary

So the singer is gone but the effort to remember implies a connection and a concern. There was a quality there worth recalling and yet in all honesty there is a struggle to remember at this distance. About how much of our genius and of our pinnacle moments can the same be said? Only God remembers what man forgets too easily. If there is no heaven then our music is lost forever and will never find its most perfect expression.


Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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789
789
Review of Throughport  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello, Fivesixer Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Throughport" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A strained friendship raises feelings of awkwardness and questions of how best to deal with it.


Commentary

A mixture of signals, friendship where you expected fighting. A mixture of anger and playing nice did you do this person wrong or were you wronged, nothing is really clear, but you are trapped in a mask of guilt. You express the awkwardness of the interaction well and the effort to simply get on.

You shared this in the personal genre and only you know what you are really talking about. Rereading this years later the emotions may trigger memories for you but they remain mainly inaccessible to a wider audience.

Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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790
790
Review of Journey  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, 🌖 HuntersMoon Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Journey" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A poet looks back on his life's journey, remembering the route he took as the map of this is still in his mind. His footprints traced on scraps of paper.


Commentary

The road was windy and some footprints can still be seen while others fade from sight. There a collection in the dust where weariness gave pause, there distance, where my strides were longer, rejuvenated by new horizons

And all of it captured in the occasional poem written on a scrap of paper and then digitalized on Writing.com

Was not clear if the footprints were readable or disappearing. They faded or were obliterated but each new step revived them or collections were readable leaving me a little confused. Finally, you suggest that only the recorded steps on the scraps of paper will actually survive.


Mechanical issues

None

Thanks for sharing.

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791
791
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, PureSciFiPlus Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received ""The Intervention"" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Donald has been called to an intervention. Is he spending too much time on Writing.com?


Commentary

Well, it was a sort of intervention. It was unclear how many interventionists were there. You used "all of us" in the first sentence, but then the chairs were empty and only one man spoke and he commented that he did not know where the others were. Were they also on Writing.com? Nothing was said about that.

Your explanation for your time investment seemed solid enough. You are a writer and this is a place where a person can write, get feedback and grow as a writer. That said what more needed to be said and so you left.

It was an amusing concept.


Mechanical issues

Found a few issues:

That must I know for sure = That much I know for sure

When a fellow member of Writing.com introduced that to me and I started using it I have gotten a whole lot better = Since a fellow member of Writing.com introduced that to me and I started using it I have gotten a whole lot better

Speaking of intervention, I wonder where the other are at = Speaking of intervention, I wonder where the others are.


Thanks for sharing.

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792
792
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, MyMindInRhyme Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Share my home-brew" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

An upbeat positive poem about a person who wants to give, affirm, build up others.


Commentary

We share a similar outlook and concern for the mental well-being of others. Truth and Reality shared with respect, gentleness and love are crucial I believe. Darkness and deceptions need to be challenged and overthrown but so also hope offered for a better tomorrow.

This poem wasn't genius, it was real simple, but sometimes the simple ones are best, and when they say the right things all the better. I liked this.

Mechanical issues

You might want to rethink this last line which was not obvious. How does shampoo open doors exactly?

If others let this sit like shampoo,
There won't be a door they can't run through.


Thanks for sharing.

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793
793
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Prosperous Snow celebrating Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Crop Circle Armada" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Crop circles are alien art crafted by alien flying saucers passing by. Citizens of the earth look up and tremble even if the hostile intent has not yet been demonstrated.


Commentary

The news is full of stuff about flying saucers since the Pentagon released its papers recently. But these are just blurry inconclusive photos that almost always have alternate explanations. Space exploration has revealed "Magnificant Desolation" out there and it seems life is something we bring to the universe rather than arrives here. Crop circles are the product of mischievous kids with too much time on their hands.

Sorry to be a cynic but I do not believe there are any grounds to believe in aliens.

Well written but unbelievable.


Mechanical issues

You kept the One Octave Ottava Rima structure.


Thanks for sharing.

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794
794
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello, Arakun the twisted raccoon Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Triumph of the Small and Weak" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The Entomologist collected insects to impale them on cruel spikes in his collections but then...

Commentary

There are some 10 quintillion insects on this planet apparently. We step on some, swallow some, swat some and kill many every day, and yet there is little chance they will ever die out. Here we have a man who prides himself on collecting and collating insect finds in the effort to understand them and their world. He is regarded as a murderer but these are not sentient beings with souls and there are more than enough of them to spare.

So found this piece funny and it made me laugh. It was well written but I disagree that an entomologist can be regarded as a murderer.


Mechanical issues

None.


Thanks for sharing.

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795
795
Review of The Well  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, C.C. Moore Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The Well" Open in new Window. via a newsletter. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

Mary is escaping from her boyfriend's friends and a rich kid party which she was not enjoying. She goes walking in the woods beyond the estate and falls down a well. She is not alone down there...


Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

So you have Henry who seems to be the son of a rich family with an estate and to hang with similarly privileged and possibly disconnected rich kids. He is an engineer and materialistic- rationalistic will little sense for supernatural things. He appears quite shallow but is rescued by his concern for Marywho did not come from his sort of background. She appears to be, twenty-four, with a cat called Borsch, she is an artist and is in love with Henry but not his friends. She could be a gold digger, artists rarely make much money and she is only just starting out, poverty deepens her character but also sets her at odds with those who have lived at ease all their lives. Did her resentment give her a lack of perspective or introduce the true costs and foibles of rich people culture once she did not have Henry all to herself.

The kids in the well are spooky, too young for the words that are coming out of their mouths with too many teeth for people 6 years old and younger. Maybe you should have gone for slightly older kids. Their Ma was a believer but she was killed by their dad who also dumped them down the well. It is hard to know if her encounter was a demonic one or ghosts that could not rest or did she imagine everything being in extreme pain. The account is credible either way. The kids had seen evil triumph over good and it is hard to know what they had become in their final moments. If ghosts maybe they can move on with the burial of the bones; if demons then maybe their vindictive purpose has not yet been laid to rest; if just imagined she has this trauma to deal with.

The basic storyline is the hope that Mary would escape from the well. The evil in the well and the broken leg made that a necessity. A happy ending is always good.


Mechanical issues

Did not notice any.


Thanks for sharing.

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796
796
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Detective Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "The House Above the Sea" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A house above the sea, an ancient family home. It houses its secrets and its mysteries. Not all who visit this place get to leave it.

Commentary

One of my favorite places in all the world is the North Cornish coast with cliffs looking over the Atlantic. To own a house with a view of the rocky headlands and Atlantic rollers on beautiful sandy beaches would be idyllic. But when I was a teacher in the area it came to my attention that there were a whole bunch of issues with the people there, with drugs and mental health for instance - a product of generational deep hippy culture and relative poverty. Ancient houses hide mysteries and secrets. So it was easy for me to visualize this house in your poem and the implications of the poem did not seem so far-fetched.

I remember as a child exploring a big old house like this and finding a deserted mine shaft in its garden ( possibly an old tin mine). It was rural, remote and its implicit stories ancient. In the nighttime, there were no street lamps and if cloudy no stars or moon also. The combination of wild vegetation, darkness and shadows, and rusty remnants was pregnant with untold stories.

Mechanical issues

None I noticed

Thanks for sharing.

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797
797
Review of Crucible  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello, warriormom. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience


Commentary

If anything this poem understates the problem. 460000 children go missing every year in the USA. Millions more go missing worldwide. Child labor, sex trafficking, and other reasons result in the kidnap and misery of children all over the world. So the number 200 or even thousands seemed too low as a starting point referring to only an isolated incident in a much longer list.

There is callousness and brutality to this world that too many people would prefer to ignore. We pretend we live in Disney land when the reality is far more ugly.

I loved these last lines:

When did the common good
become uncommon?

The flames of hell
are testing our mettle.
How many tears will it take
to quell this raging inferno?

As you suggest compassion and understanding are crucial to combat this.


Mechanical issues

None


Thanks for sharing.

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798
798
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello, Adherennium Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "What then shall I write about?" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

A poem about nothing except about writing a poem.


Commentary

Empty semantics and words for word's sake bug me. It as though they devalue the use of words to say important things. It is better to be silent than to fill space with empty words. So I did not like the concept of the poem from the outset. Mind you that is probably the same reason I stay away from poetry competitions. I write what is on my heart and what is bursting inside me and needs expression, not to some arbitrary prompt. Weirdly this is not true with short stories etc where I find the prompt helps.

Your thinking was on the lines of I am going to say something regardless of the lack of inspiration here. It will not make me any money but procrastination is not worth my while either. I will demonstrate the poet's art by articulating the vain attempt to find a reason to speak. I guess there is value in the practice. Though there were mechanical issues with this poem.

My deeper issue here I guess is with the whole Wittgensteinian language philosophy that has crept into English literature departments across the English-speaking world. Language has become a contextual, rule-dependent game with words and the words used just empty symbols disconnected from faith and useful tradition and sometimes even referenced material objects. Wittgenstein suggested a limit to what language can do and the inability to translate our private languages into something accessible. Speaking out becomes a mere activity, or form of life, or game, rather than necessarily connecting with any deeper meanings or meta-narratives. It is a form of nihilism and moral relativism that has emptied conversations and stories across the Western world of any true meanings and rendered most of what is published today utter drivel. It has eroded the trust people place in genuine truth and revelations as with scripture and made the use of language an empty game played out for entertainment and for the profit of Media giants like Netflix.

Mechanical issues

You had an a-c, b-d rhyming structure in the first two stanzas that you broke in the final stanza.


Thanks for sharing.

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799
799
Review of Mr Moonlight  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello, Adherennium Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "Mr Moonlight" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

The supernatural Mr. Moonlight steps into Maria Guadalupe Herrera's dead taxi from a snowstorm bringing the heaters and the motors instantly to life. He is dry despite the storm. Where to next?

Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

Mr. Moonlight sounds supernatural. He steps in from a storm dry, the car starts when he enters, he knows things he could not, like her name and which hotel she was taking him to. He seems to have some kind of mind control over Maria suppressing her fear.

Maria Guadalupe Herrera is a taxi driver in a taxi that has been dead for 30 minutes.

The man wants to take the woman to a hotel with him. He quotes the Tom Waits song Heartattack and vine. The song refers to locations in Los Angeles Hollywood. But maybe here the reference means he is going to do whatever he does with her without regard for the consequences. So it has a sinister overtone.

Being British I object to the use of British accents to imply sinisterly intent. It was the same in Star Wars when all the evil Empire Officials had impeccable British accents while the rebels were Americans.

The story implies sinister intent, but there is no explanation of why such a gifted individual would simply use his powers to pick up women. There is no implication that Maria has some special role or purpose or pedigree to explain his interest in her. So it just looks like a horny supervillain who wants sex. we are missing any hints as to a bigger picture here.


Mechanical issues

The last line does not make sense:

Maria’s taxi pulled away into the mixed bag.


Thanks for sharing.

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800
Review of 23 Mile Staircase  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Dave92706 Author IconMail Icon. This is a review from "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Smile* I received "23 Mile Staircase" Open in new Window. via the random 'read & review' button. I have the following comments to offer.

Reader Experience

On a road trip across America, two teenagers hike into the Grand Canyon and back creating unforgettable memories on the way.


Commentary: Content, Characters and Plot

So you and Robert and your parents are the characters in this tale. Your dad was mad about cameras and wanted to photo the sights of the USA. Your hike provided some cool pictures but you have never seen the prints of those.

This is one of those coming-of-age trigger moments, a day when you stepped outside parental boundaries and tested your limits. The harsh temperatures the overnight absence must have had your parents worried not to mention the raging flood of the river. I understand how your dad was angry though I think as a dad myself I would have secretly proud of my son for doing something like that also.

Loved the story and was engaged from start to finish. It made me want to go there which is always a good sign in a story.


Mechanical issues

You used the word gruel rather than cruel towards the end when describing your father's reaction.


Thanks for sharing.

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