\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/41
Review Requests: ON
2,465 Public Reviews Given
2,465 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try to be honest and positive. My Christian faith is an important background factor. I hate rating low but have a system that determines how I grade.
 
STATIC
My Philosophy of Rating and Reviewing Open in new Window. (E)
How do I assess people's work when reviewing?
#2259390 by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
I'm good at...
More interested in the content of what you write than the style. Theological, political, historical, scientific, or experiential, or indeed anything that paints a vision of the future. A good grammar checker will tell you about spelling and commas.
Favorite Genres
Not entirely sure as I like most stuff. I prefer something with a soul rather than purely secular. But I like Sci-Fi, anything Christian, History themes, and also 'What-if' type speculations with plausible plots.
Least Favorite Genres
Anything that fails to look for a way out of the darkness. You can be dark, just don't wallow in it. Generally, I try to steer clear of Fantasy, and most Dark or Horror stories just make me laugh or grimace due to their ignorance of the dark side.
Favorite Item Types
I have really liked some of the heartwarming dramas I have read here particularly personal stories. Thought-provoking poems or stories are cool also though I am no expert on poetical forms.
Least Favorite Item Types
Anything that is just an affirmation of the dark side. I hate empty words. I always look for human intelligence. I try and avoid Fantasy and Horror where there is no metaphorical resonance or connection with real-world truth.
I will not review...
I mainly review by invitation or for my Grill a Christian contest. Though sometimes a story pops up in my feed or through the email system also. I used to write a hundred reviews a month but that requires a lot of low marking and critiques that people almost always do not appreciate. So now I usually wait for people to ask me. If I do not like it I will not review it unless it gets me riled or if it is interesting for other reasons.
Public Reviews
<    ...  37  38  39  40  41  42  43  44  45  46  ...   >
1001
1001
Review of Dear Me  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Received this via random review and took the time machine back to 2012

Reader Experience

Snows goals from 2012 moving on from 2011. Grandad is the inspiration


Commentary

It seemed like a reasonable list. Did you make it?

I noticed a few bugs in the text:

you do not to litter the space-time continuum = you do not [want] to litter the space-time continuum

Do not focus on how difficulty of the project = Do not focus on [the] difficulty of the project

to make sure your mother live = to make sure your mother lived

Thanks for sharing and continuing to share.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1002
1002
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the topical theme

Reader Experience

The author lauds the work of various engineers providing ventilators and special masks and scientists for their pioneering innovations and research in the area of coronavirus


Commentary

An interesting theme and it is true that engineers have played their part alongside medical health professionals and vaccine research scientists. Some of these innovations will also be useful moving forwards.

The most commonly used word this year, indeed every year in the English language is "the". The top trending words of 2020 were words like covid, covid-19, pandemic, and coronavirus. This despite heart disease and strokes still dominating the kill list.

One of the coolest innovations to be revealed during this pandemic has been the new RNA vaccine techniques behind the BioNTech/Pfizer vaccine for instance. This could revolutionize medicine and is a major innovation in the treatment of cancer still a major killer on the planet.

This Pandemic has been transforming. For instance, my church has grown as we have used Zoom to reach people all over the world for our services. The addition of the virtual space to our physical space will remain with us when this is over, extending the reach of our services.

The biggest lessons of the pandemic from a health point of view have been the terrible state of our lifestyles and the need for improved exercise to cultivate strong immune systems and respiratory health. The pandemic has also revealed deep inequalities in health care provision between rich and poor. But the technologies all too often deal with the symptoms, not the underlying issues which have to do with diet, exercise, sleep, and lifestyle.

Interesting and stimulating topic. Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1003
1003
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was touched by the sentiment

Reader Experience

An older person mourns the fact that no one writes letters anymore. She cannot get into her Email because she forgot her password. Please send her a letter


Commentary

The digital age is definitely faster and more efficient but the speed of change leaves many behind. Many, not trained in the new ways, lose communication possibilities and we have also lost a permanent record of our conversations. The old letters that used to fill boxes to be reread years later are replaced by email accounts that we renew every few years and therefore lose the contents of. We back up on laptops that crash every few years unless we go for the new cloud-based solutions which not everyone trusts. Even the best emails can get lost. My children hardly ever even use email now, having moved on to various chat tools and interactive applications. The conversations become more mundane with every innovation. It often seems that precision and clarity are increasingly emphasized over the communication of the nuances of one's feelings.

There is a stray bracket you might want to remove from the end of the poem

I liked the content of this, the rhyming structure, and the choice of words. Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1004
1004
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for the action packed adventure

Reader Experience

Sheriff Dixon is a crook and Jake and Laura have the proof. Jake gets Laura on the train. Once out of the valley she should be able to upload that You Tube.


Commentary

So they can text on the mountain but they cannot upload you tubes. But they could have phoned or texted the authorities outside the valley. Not sure they really needed to jump the train on Devil's Bend to get a message out. But it made for a good story and gave a sense of urgency to the escape in the darkness. Hollow tree trunks and back door knocking all added to the sense of suspense and danger.

I liked this though I thought it a little implausible

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1005
1005
Review of McDonald's  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and liked the theme

Reader Experience

This person works at McDonald's and does not like it

Commentary

A job is a job and I would not criticize anyone for making a living, whatever they do. Personally, I love McDonald's and the smell of fried chips. I know pregnant women who during morning sickness were only able to keep a Big Mac down.

Was not sure what poetical format AABBBA is. Not a limerick AABBA. But anyway thought it worked.

Thanks for sharing

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1006
1006
Review of The Time to Panic  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and liked the call for action on the environment

Reader Experience

We are well past the time when we should have started acting to resolve the problems we have created with the environment


Commentary

This appears to be a priority of the new Biden administration. It has been a priority for decades here in Europe and we are already changing our economy in a Green Economy direction. But people forget that American power in the twentieth century was founded on oil just as British power in the nineteenth century was founded on coal. It meant that your navy could always be at sea because it never ran out of fuel. Your planes could always be in the sky and your land forces could be mechanized and always on the move. The chemical and plastics industries do not yet have reasonable green alternatives. But there is now an urgency to this transition. How can we make the shift without reverting to the dark ages? There is no such thing as an electric tank and biodegradable toys do not sell that well as yet. We are making the transition but it is more painful than many imagine.

Thanks for sharing

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1007
1007
Review of Isolated  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and it struck a cord

Reader Experience

The experience of lockdown can be like that of being caged and as such quite suffocating. Then there are those days when the sun comes out. We are all looking forward to freedom at the end of the pandemic.


Commentary

Everybody dies but not everybody gets to live. Not sure who said that but it seemed to fit your piece and fears of an unlived life. I have valued this time of isolation, it has brought me closer to my family in isolation with me. I have developed new disciplines for writing and exercise and my work situation has improved due to less travel and more home office. But I do miss the open road. I drove the car the other day, the stereo on high on the autobahn and it was quite exhilarating for a moment until I realized I did not have anywhere to go. Those glimpses of freedom, of sunlit mountain tops, ships charging through roaring waves and the imagination of being in a crowd again with all its noises, smells and people pushing past are not in vain. We will all be free soon when the vaccines are in and the plague is gone.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1008
1008
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This is a reciprocal review as we seem to share a love of SciFi

Reader Experience

In the corporations of the future robots and humans mix and work together. But in this story, we have a malfunctioning robot that seems to have a sort of robotic power trip and has steam coming out of her ears. The scene ends with Kristina the robot on the ground processing her traumatic experience of being contradicted


Commentary

The hardware required to make such robots work is actually quite expensive and I think you exaggerate the kind of AI that would sit in a robot. Robots do not have to look humanoid to be useful and I think most will remain in factories doing mundane and repetitive tasks. The investment required to give autonomous personality to a robot would not be cost-effective for corporations in the most likely future. So the scenario itself seemed a little unrealistic to me. The notion that an AI can develop its own robot agenda would not be tolerated in any half sensible future. I think something akin to Asimov's 3 laws would probably govern their interaction with humans. The notion that a robot could file a complaint to personnel is both intriguing and a nightmare. In such a world I think I might even join a Luddite militia with the intent to destroy the robots and remove them from our lives. But I believe AI has limits and its intelligence is that of calculation and regurgitation and rehearsal rather than genuine and creative. If it does exceed us then we would be looking at teams of networked robots acting in accordance with an AIs grand plan rather than autonomous systems. Hopefully, we will always be able to counter one AI with another that serves our purpose and counter those employed by organized crime and dictators also. Who knows the future is wide open.

Thanks for the provocative and interesting story though


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1009
1009
Review of Gilda Locksley  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a reciprocal review

Reader Experience

A modern take on the Goldilocks and Three Bears fairy tale. A young woman inherits a cabin in the forest, has a party, and learns how trash management works with bears around.


Commentary

This made me laugh and was well written. In such a wild place maybe she also needs a gun as well as a metal bin with a lock. Personally, I live on the edge of a big city and can always choose between the two. But there are few wolves and bears in Europe today. The experience of the truly wild is something that is lost to most of us yet because rare it is very interesting.

Thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1010
1010
Review of birthday cake  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was pleasantly surprised to find a diamond in a coal mine.

Reader Experience

A little six-year-old girl on the brink of sugary, culinary pleasures

Commentary

This was charming and contained some exquisite and evocative descriptions that had me salivating for that cake.

It must be hard to have to think about the consequences of eating something sugary and measuring insulin. I started to have to fight for my weight around 5 years ago. Giving up chocolate did not seem an attractive option so now I run 8 miles every two days and do an hour of weights and workout the alternate day. Actually, I enjoy the exercise which is stress-relieving also.

Thanks for sharing this gem 8 years ago.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1011
1011
Review of Frozen  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and thought it expressed the morning perfectly

Reader Experience

There is a frost on the grass, but the sun is out with the promise of the warmth of the day to come.

Commentary

A good poem to wake up to. Minds may be full of nonsense and clouded with unscheduled responsibilities but then the sun comes out and the timetables get built, the schedules are planned and the tasks sequenced. It is going to be a bright, bright sunny day and I may go for a run when my chores are finished.

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1012
1012
Review of Thankful  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for a great poem

Reader Experience

A man remembers his departed mother's wisdom, prayers, example, and presence with thankfulness.


Commentary

This brilliant poem was skillfully written. As a parent, I have to hope my own children remember me affectionately when my time comes. I think I will feel this way about my parents when they go. One line made me think though

"lay flowers on her grave"

I have to cross the English channel to lay flowers on the graves of those I love. Suddenly it seemed far away.

Thanks for sharing



Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1013
1013
Review of Could Be Serious  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued by the question of what makes poetry important to the poet

Reader Experience

There are a host of reasons why poets write and they sacrifice lesser things to create their poems, like housework for instance.


Commentary

I had to smile at the sentiment here. I wrote a poem this morning for a contest and now plan to do my daily 5 reviews. But looking around at the house it is a mess and my wife is out today. So when I finish this I have to get up and start cleaning. Which is a major incentive to just sit here and keep waffling on ostensibly in response to your poem *Wink*

I used to write to express feelings that otherwise never quite got articulated or were only clumsily expressed. At one point I thought I might be able to pull women with poetry, but many of my early efforts were clumsy and probably caused me more problems than benefits gained. I did not understand the mind of my reader nor how they would understand my words. Brought up in a bible culture I thought the Song of Solomon was the bee's knees of love poetry and did not understand when a woman brought up on pop songs and modern film romances just laughed and thought me strange for sharing such verses with her. Some kind of balance between self-expression and connection is probably the essence of good poetry. Or as you suggest it might be people who lack the ability to do good REM sleep and need to write those nuances of feeling and unprocessed experience into a poetical form to make sense of each day. Why oh why though do we take the open mic and broadcast our deepest feelings and reflections to anyone who will listen. Maybe because we believe they are worth hearing and sharing. Do we return others the favor and listen to their poems also, trying to understand how they think and feel and see our world. It is in such sharing that community is born and understanding across the bubbles of our existence.

Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1014
1014
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for a poem about beauty

Reader Experience

A man contemplates a woman and considers her beautiful. He wonders if she knows how beautiful she is.


Commentary

Your poem reminded me of my wife and my daughter. Both are beautiful in my eyes and more deeply at a soul level also. It is not just skin-deep prettiness that makes a woman beautiful it is a spiritual thing that transforms the ordinary into the magical, the plain into the exceptional. It is like a light, an aura that decorates a woman's form with a transcendent glory. I do not see this in every woman. But I see it in my wife and my daughter and even my mother. It is a thing that is not bound by time, by the curves and perfect skin of youth, nor fine clothes and careful make-up. It is something eternal and linked with the Divine that animates the human spirit. It is the view of a woman in worship full of the Divine presence, it is the gentleness of wise words and loving actions, it is the soothing calming presence of a woman at peace with herself and the universe.

We limit our ideas of beauty to the sexual in the modern age and women are sexually attractive, far more so than men. But a woman's beauty is also far more than that.

I liked your poem and am thankful for the energizing opportunity to think about women and beauty over coffee this morning.

I liked this line

Does she know?
Yes, I think so,
My heart and soul just told her so.


Thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1015
1015
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for a surreal experience

The first few lines made me think that there was a creature inside the person. So I was waiting for some kind of alien experience when it bursts out. Then I thought it might be a woman with a baby inside. Then I looked at your portfolio and thought you might be talking about a demon.

The last two lines did not really make sense and were a bit of a disappointment.

Give me something to wet your shirt over
And some other way for us to this sober


No idea what that might mean. Were you drunk when you wrote it, overcome with grief, hence the tears reference? Anyway, it started well, albeit a little terrifying. Of course, I might have completely misread this.

Thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1016
1016
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for a tour of the Grand Canyon

Reader Experience

Describes some of the best viewing places in the Grand Canyon


Commentary

Liked your vivid descriptions that made memories come alive. It was succinct and enough to take me there and experience the moments.

Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1017
1017
Review of Equilibrium  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for the work of a master.

Reader Experience

Light and darkness portrayed as cosmic brothers in perpetual conflict. The one providing hope, resurrection, healing, and salvation the other overwhelming, blinding, terrifying and draining. The author suggests the two cannot exist without each other and that we are engaged in some kind of balancing act between them within and without.


Commentary

Very Manichean and as such have to disagree. Like Augustine, I seek darkness as an absence rather than a real force in itself. Fear is love gone bad or spoilt. Blindness is the absence of seeing, being overwhelmed is the loss of perfect harmony with God and creation. Darkness drains because it is empty. The fight is not an equal one, the good guys win and Light expels the darkness. There are no shadows that demons can hide from God in.

But you have a flawless writing style and 44 people have already given you 5 stars for this. But since your piece is tainted by the darkness it embraces as a brother I can only give you 4.5. To give you 5 would be to affirm a heresy and a lack of perfect understanding. The one brother is real and the other just a ghost who can harm only for a season.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1018
1018
Review of Poem Emerald  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Received this via random review and smelt a Buddhist theme here

Reader Experience

What we hang on too tightly drips slowly through our fingers. In every deed are the temptations of the dark side of suffering and disappointment. A whisper is heard to break one's hold and let the moment pass.

Commentary

Dhamma is central to Buddhism and means to uphold, in the sense of upholding the teachings attributed to the Buddha. The central teaching being about overcoming dissatisfaction or suffering (dukkha).

So this poem seems to me to misuse the word dhamma as it is something enduring at the heart of Buddhism and is the response to situations of pain and disappointment. Unless that is it is a criticism of Buddhism. So the meaning here is not clear and while intriguing it seems to make no sense in fact.

Thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1019
1019
Review of The Table  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was intrigued

Reader Experience

Appears to be set in a restaurant. A man at one table eats alone but watches a couple's amorous interaction, kissing without touching on another table. This evokes memories of romantic ghosts. Then finally the moment passes and there is only the debris of dinner to mark its passing.


Commentary

What some call voyeurism others call the networked reality of our humanity. A couple's happiness evokes memories of our own romance and will be the center of attention in a crowded restaurant for a man alone.

I liked this verse:

Their eyes
Smile and laugh.
Their lips
Speak quiet intimacies
Kiss without touching.


Thanks for sharing

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1020
1020
Review of Ides of March  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and was hooked from the start

Reader Experience

Natalie may have only been a school kid but her notebook contains secrets that will change the world. Secrets she was killed for. Her friend Miss Green and Daniel, from the rough end of town, have the notebook and the school principal, in cahoots with the dark side of the Federal government, fails to find it on her. With Daniel, she plots how to publicize the information. She is almost killed but Daniel rescues her shooting her assailant dead. They manage to get to CNN and read out the contents on live TV. They are shot dead while doing so by Officer Pire. But it is too late and their sacrifice brings down the administration.


Commentary

Very well written, you have to wonder what was in that notebook. There was a puzzling reference at the beginning to redheads being arrested for the good of the people. Did they think the person with the notebook was a redhead or was the government conspiracy against redheads? You had a few themes common to American teen dramas like a partnership between a girl from a nice area with a boy from the black stuff. Of authority being suspicious and compromised and of parents being slightly dysfunctional in their responses. Why the school principal was in cahoots with the Federal government was a little mysterious. Even highly decorated veterans and police officers do not walk around with a full chest of medals, or did you mean ribbons, or did Officer Pire just dress up for what he must have known was his swansong. He killed the youths on-air, on CNN. You'd have thought someone that close to the president would have chosen a better time and would have had more street smarts than that.

Interesting story, thanks for sharing


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1021
1021
Review of Bad Dream  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and stayed for a crazy dream

Reader Experience

There is a dream about talking dolls looking for the phone. There is waking to phone calls about trips around the world and the mailman delivers the same. Crawling back into bed and finding oneself on an idyllic island beach with a man asking for the bagels and on his way to work.


Commentary

This is really crazy and quite surreal. There is a travel theme here which is understandable during a lockdown in a pandemic. There is an insistent and persistent theme, from dolls, phonecalls, and mailmen that you should be traveling to some exotic location. Then on arrival, there is the humdrum request for bagels on the way to work. Could a dream get more disjointed? Yet it was engaging from start to finish and now the fragments have a life of their own in my head. I am going to have to do some more reviews to get the pictures to fade and that black eyed voodoo doll to stop staring at me.

Liked this, it was well written and engaging, thanks for sharing.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1022
1022
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (1.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to object

Reader Experience

The author thinks bitterness is enlightening and that love should always be attacked. The pleasure of the bitter is to destroy health and happiness.


Commentary

Not sure why the author considers this wise. It seems more the definition of foolishness to be so eaten up by the poison of bitterness that you lash out at your every chance for healing and happiness. Is it enlightened to debunk love or just deranged. Like pouring acid on the most beautiful face bitterness spoils, poisons, and destroys.

This was not wise. But it was provocative. For the second reason, I thank you for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1023
1023
Review of Beauty Is ...  Open in new Window.
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Received this via random review and you mentioned programming

Reader Experience

A coded line has the potential to unlock a world of beauty. We find beauty in natures complexity and also as a result of our minds quest for it.


Commentary

Not sure but were you talking about the computer language Quest here, a sort of mish-mash of javascript, XML, C#, and VB. If so that makes some sense as you could create adventure games with this, some of sweet beauty and others of sour ugliness.

There is something beautiful about finished code. Human beings are far more complex and our DNA is coding par excellence. The coding of the natural world is beyond human intelligence and even of the most powerful AIs. The line between beauty and awe is blurred in fact when I consider that code.

Liked your poem which was well written. Also, the content was inspiring so beautiful!

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1024
1024
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Received this via random review and stayed for a good story

Reader Experience

Aiden is autistic and hates being touched and has a precise measured way of doing things. He does not really enjoy social contact and reacts strongly when he is touched by Sue on the stairs. Proceeding with his overdue lunchbreak he discovers Ellen gagging and immediately calls 911. Later it transpires that Ellen has ingested lemon juice to which she is highly allergic. The story works through the evidence and finds the real criminal in the mix. He has therefore saved Ellens's life but she knows better than to grab him on the stairs by way of thank you.


Commentary

This was a really good and engaging short story. I was gripped from start to finish and enjoyed the twists and turns of the plot. Aiden is an attractive character and reminded me of the good doctor series on TV.

Found one small error here:

relieved that one else there = relieved that no one else was there

Thanks for sharing.

Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1025
1025
Review by LightinMind Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
Received this via random review and stayed to object

Reader Experience

Youth rules and are better than oldies and middle-aged people because they can eat what they like, are fitter and more creative.

Commentary

I was a lot faster in my youth, some 20-25% in fact. I know precisely because I never stopped exercising. In my youth, I always compared myself against elite athletes who would run rings around me but I was always in that top fittest 10%. Now I look at youth who play fewer sports, do more gaming, or just lounge around with their mobiles, and hardly ever go outside and I know that I am fitter than all but that top 10% of them. In fact, youth is no guarantee of fitness. They could become fitter than me because they are younger but most cannot be bothered.

Regarding creativity, you need to have read widely, lived a lot, and experienced real pain before you can really write anything interesting. Youth are shallow and mainly uninspired repeating the works or sentiments of those who came before them. Sometimes they say original things but mainly it has all been said before. Definitely think oldies have the edge there.

Regarding eating whatever you like youth has a natural advantage but a lack of exercise mainly neutralizes it. I mainly eat whatever I like but then I have to go for an 8 mile run every two days to compensate. Most young people I know cannot even run 8 miles and many of them are getting quite fat because they eat without that exercise program.

So absolutely disagree with the content here.

Also, the language was a little strange and did not sound English in its syntax and word choice even though it survives a basic grammar checker.

Thanks for sharing and please reconsider the place of oldies in your life. Youth is not always better.


Signature for use by anyone nominated for a Quill Award in 2020

*Snow4* "WdC SuperPower Reviewers GroupOpen in new Window.*Snow4*



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
1,324 Reviews *Magnify*
Page of 53 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/luminementis/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/41