Good message. Like the repetition. Only thing that bothered me a bit was the use of The Person. I guess that's like using "Average Man." But it sounds so impersonal - and God's love is reeeeaaaallllyy personal.
You state your opinion well. I would suggest some white space between paragraphs.
If only every person eligible to vote would actually listen to candidates and make their decisions that way, we'd have a better country. But as you stated, many vote for party regardless.
And there are always who vote for the craziest reasons. My grandmother used to look at a man's bottom lip and decide if he had strength that way.
Hi Cliff, This was good - told well about something bad. I heard just last week that not only aren't we counting those who worked there and died, but we're not counting military men and women who make it to hospitals and later die.
I'm not saying we should or shouldn't have gone to war. But we should know the truth.
Good job. If there was ever an event that inspired people to write poetry, it was Sept. 11. I worked at the local newspaper then and for 6 months every Sunday we printed poems written by our readers. Normally, our editor didn't want poetry submissions, but he relented for this event.
I like that you end by praying for everyone - even our "enemies."
Interesting poem about yourself. I love titles, and am often disppointed when I find something called "untitled." Perhaps here it actually makes sense. You describe yourself as being invisible. I guess and untitled poem is invisible too.
Great story. These words - attributed to one so young - are wise indeed. I would suggest some shorter paragraphs. It just makes it easier to stay involved in a story.
Good advice. It's hard to know these things when we're young. Then we get old and suddenly know that it really didn't matter all those times and years what others thought.
I would suggest you break this into more than one paragraph to make it easier to read.
Also:
I was whoever I wish (to keep in past tense - I was whoever I wished)
And, I think you're missing a word here:
After critics will always have there opinions (After all?)
Mighty good thoughts about waiting on the Lord. We're impatient folks, and between fast food and microwaves, we're certainly used to getting things right away!
But God's timing is not ours, and that's often a hard lesson to learn.
Hey, thanks for the information on rejection letters. It's nice to hear from someone who was on the inside - even if for a short time. There have been times in my writing career when I've had all of these literally papering the wall!
Hey, I just realized I hadn't finished reading these chapters. As usual, this one kept my interest. And made me wish for such a love... Not that I would wish for the physical problems, mind you.
Tell me...what kind of research did you do for this??? (The physical stuff - not the love stuff. I know you're experienced in that area!)
Good job. It's fun writing with prompts, and you did a fine job. Good dialogue. Funny. I almost knew when the lady found one piece of corn in her soup that there should have more. I was right!
Only one problem:
offcourse tonight’s meal is on the house (should be "of course tonight's meal lis on the house")
This is pretty good for a first attempt at poetry. My only complaint is that it's too short. It does speak volumes in a few short words, of course. But I'm guessing you have much more to say.
Excellent, as usual. The flow of life is like a river!
I've read this three times now in the last 15 minutes, and loved it each time. And focused on different parts of the life cycle/river flowing each time.
Of course, I like best the part that talks about nourishing others...
Excellent. I love this! I'm always marveling at God's earthly creatures. You've taken that a step farther by, then, approaching the mirror and seeing God's child.
I really love the last part...
The greatest Love
In all creation
Is calling your name.
Excellent points. I thought I'd seen everything written thus far about reviewing, but I missed this one. I love that you mentioned that giving reviews is another way of practicing our own writing. Sometimes I cringe at reviews that use horrible grammar or spelling.
I have noticed, too, how many reviewers are using lots of smiley faces or colors. I'm always afraid to do that - since there isn't a button to check to preview before sending.
Great story. Just enough suspense. A bit of humor. Kylie was shown using different senses. I'm glad she was sensible enough and curious enough to explore that broken glass. It could have been something far worse.
Interesting poll. Okay, so only 34 have responded thus far...but itn's it interesting that 68% knew they enjoyed writing before age 15? I'm supposing that's true. I think it's the same for reading. I think one has to develop a love of words early on.
Think I'll check back after more responses come in.
Just curious.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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