Hey, happy birthday Harry. I always love your storoems. Is that what you call them? Story/poems? I do love them, and this is no exception. You've done it again.
My, my...yes, a bunch has happened in the world in your 60 years. But you've done lots too!
Wow, what a powerful letter. Not knowing of whom or what you spoke/wrote, the letter still brought tears to my eyes. Then, when at the end, you explained your love, I cried even more.
This line, especially tore me up...once I knew...
My mother brought us together and because of that I trusted you completely.
Congrats on those 8 years! Keep it up...and write on!
Blessings,
Kenzie
P.S. I'm glad you've received an award for this one!
Wow... The repetition did it for me. At first I wondered what we weren't telling a soul about. Then I began to understand, at least I thought I did.
I loved this part:
Day in, day out your life is incomplete, for though you will not tell a soul it is still upon your face, you think no one can tell as you act so very well ever trying to never show what you will not tell a soul.
You know...this must not be uncommon. I think Dr. Phil's show is even trying to get first loves together to see what has happened over the years.
What a hoot! You've made my day with this one. I wonder if all adults want those boxes of 64 crayons when they shop for their kids' school supplies. It does seem that it gets crowded at the part of the store.
Thanks for sharing this one. It makes me want to......color!
I think this is beautiful. I like how you've organized this. I like the repetition. And I love the words and the meaning! This is what I'd call true love - unconditional love!
It's not easy to write a "new" or "different" love poem. You did well.
Here's to open minds! I like what you've written here. It's certainly food for thought, and we all need to think and learn daily.
Some suggestions:
without these vital tools are minds (our minds)
forced to live a life of routine and schedual. (schedule)
Everything had a journey, a history, a story to which I emensly enjoy exploring. (Everything had a journey, a history, a story which I immensely enjoyed exploring.)
Excellent! You really had me going on this one. At first, I thought it really was about space stuff. Then, I started thinking about it, and I realized just what it was about. Weird alien thing, huh? Well thanks a lot!
There are a few places on this one where your formatting isn't quite right. Probably from cutting and pasting.
Wow. This is short, but it tells so much. And yet it leaves so many questions unanswered as well. Perhaps it hits me like a ton of bricks because I'm living with my elderly parents right now...and they've both talked about this kind of possibility if the time and illness made them think along these lines.
Wonderful! As one who worked as a church secretary, I think you've depicted what happens in churches sooooo well.
I took a class about ten years ago - beginning lay speaking - which really was about ministering through speaking, praying, serving, etc. One quote I took from that class - that I've shared with Sunday School classes ever since - was the suggestion of a prayer as one enters a worship service. "Lord, it is you I seek. Let me feel your loving embrace. Let me hear your voice. Let me feel your presence...through or in spite of...the pastor, the music, the choir, the ushers, the people around me, or the children and babies in the church." That statement - plus each student having to write and give a ten minute sermon - made each one just a bit more aware of what pastors deal with.
A suggestion:
neither the inside or the outside are the prettiest things a person will ever see in their lives
neither the inside or the outside are the prettiest things a person will ever see in his/her life
This is great. It's been a loooooong time since I studied Chaucer. This was actually fun to read. And, well, I do tend to agree. Sometimes it pains me that someone braves putting up his/her first writing - and even says that either in the writing itself or in his/her bio - only to have the first reviewer(s) tear apart everything from the first line to the last. I guess that's why I'm here. To soften the blows. To encourage where others nit-pick.
The only place I really get "angry" about glaring errors in spelling or grammar is in a book that has gone through many rounds of proofreading. Otherwise, it's often not important to me...if the story touches my heart.
Thanks for sharing this one. I've included some gp's in case you need them for rewarding that Newbie.
Good job. I've always loved poems about pathways and roads, every since I first read Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken. The question of whether to follow God or not, is a good one.
I particularly liked these lines:
Neither path is easier,
Although deceiving on sight.
For nothing good is easy,
And what's wrong,
at that time, may seem right.
Cute poem. Good lesson about letters making words. Good use of words kids would understand. Would make a cute children's picture book. Keeping that in mind - and that it would be read aloud - I would read it aloud. There was one line that was just a bit off - in terms of rhythm.
An excellent simple prayer. Asking that our hearts be bigger, that we be able to love more, makes so much sense. With more love, we reach out to others. With more love, we do not judge. I'm sure that's why Jesus said the most important things were to love God and our neighbor.
Bless your heart. You've written well about an experience none of us wants to face. It's a shame that others who have been through loss don't come forward to offer advice on how to grieve. But they don't, do they?
It saddens me every time I hear that friends and relatives have been around for days until after they funeral. Then they disappear and let the close family deal with things alone. But that happens too.
Thanks for the reminder of what we should and shouldn't do - whether the loss is close to us or to someone we know.
Boy, this is certainly reminiscent of what we thought, said and wrote during the war in Nam. Give peace a chance, indeed.
Back then, most of us HAD an opinion - about war, about politics, about something. And we voiced our opinions. I think the only reason some young folks have started paying attention to the recent debates and upcoming election is that the word "draft" has been heard. Now they're listening and getting involved.
Thanks for this one. Makes you think. Indeed, if the call went out to all - ages 18 to 65 - I think I'd want to run for the hills.
Wow. I read this one because I saw a public review raving about it. Now I know why. Indeed, the imagery is great. If not...well...you know, 'cause it's your poem. (Maybe mystery on the public review page will pull in some more folks!)
Plutarch said, “Poetry is speaking painting.” What a colorful painting is this poem!
Hey, it's perfect to me! And it must have been deemed pretty good by someone else, since it got an award. Rhymes are great; so is meter.
I love reading what famous poets have to say about poetry. Gerald D. McDonald said in his collection A Way of Knowing, “Poetry can be wittier and funnier than any kind of writing; it can tell us about the world through words we can’t forget; it can be tough or it can be tender; it can be fat or lean; it can preach a short sermon or give us a long thought (the shorter the poem sometimes, the longer the thought). And it does all this through the music of words.”
Nikki Grimes said of poetry, “Poetry is a literature of brushstrokes. The poet uses a few choice words, placed just so, to paint a picture, evoke an emotion, or capture a moment in time, often though not always with the measured use of rhyme.”
I love reading poetry - seeing how each poet expresses himself or herself - differently than anyone else would or could. This was music to me.
Hey a Sunflower in Texas this is a good poem, detailing your emotional extremes. It was helpful too, that you included a note at the bottom explaining about Seasonal Affective Depression. Good word crafting to explain something sometimes difficult to explain.
I never knew about SAD, but the winters of my first 26 years of live were horrible - emotion-wise. Then I moved and lived on the Gulf coast of TX and FL for another 25 years. Almost every day was bright and sunny. Horray!
Last winter I moved back to Michigan. Yep. Mood definitely changes as the weather cools and the skies grow dimmer.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
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