I love it! Although I'm not that well endowed myself, my mother is and my grandmother was...and they both always had this problem. You explained it well and made me laugh to boot. That always deserves a 5 in my book - near flawless writing and giving me a chuckle are worth a bunch!
Good poem, I think. The questions are ones I've also expressed. As one who likes to awake to watch the dawn and watch the birds and squirrels come to life, it's hard to understand how others question the existence of a Creator. I noticed that your reviews and ratings on this have been low, probably because they've been done by those who don't believe. Perhaps having this on the public review page will attract more who do believe. I hope so.
I'm with you about that person who coined the term "funny bone." Thanks for sharing this. I've been trying to find someone who can figure out why my pains go from my neck to my fingertips. They've ruled out lots of things, but concluded nothing.
I'd also like to strangle every person who says, "Chronic pain is not a disability." Usually, I'm a rather nice person. But I do find myself wanting those who repeat that phrase to try having chronic pain for a while.
Good job. I'm not sure how I missed this before Christmas, but I'm glad I found it now. Indeed, our kids need to be taught that Christmas is a celebration of the birth of Jesus. And certainly has nothing to do with huge blow-up Grinches in the yard!
Sometimes kids only need a small suggestion to help them come around to what should be. I once did a children's sermon and asked a simple question. "How would you feel if it was your birthday and everyone was exchanging gifts with each other, but not even singing "happy birthday" to you?"
The kids ended up making a birthday cake for Jesus. They got the point.
This could be a good story, but it needs some work. First, it needs to be proofread for spelling errors. There are a few. Secondly, it should be more than one paragraph. And thirdly, where there are conversations, they should be put in quotation marks.
Welcome to Writing.com. We're glad you're here. Do let me know if you correct this one, so I can come back and review again.
Another interesting poll. Interesting that most folks claim to rate/review all or most of what they read...and yet so many are complaining that they're not being rated and/or reviewed. Go figure.
Thanks again for this one.
Blessings,
Kenzie
P.S. Hmmm. Am I reading that no answer wrong? Should it be "I'd rather give no rating than a bad one?" Just wondered.
Interesting poll. So are the results, I think. I wonder what most people think they'll be getting in support here. I'm one that chooses not to repeat the same things other reviewers have said. For instance, I just checked the public review page, and one reviewer did a revies with over 13,000 characters. (And not just taken up by signatures...) If I read that same piece, I'll probably mention the other reviewer who already pointed out all the errors in grammar and spelling. But I certainly won't clog the writer's inbox with another repeat of the same.
Anyway, thanks for this one. Sometimes polls make you think...
What a moving piece. You've explained the situation well. There are many situations like this that society ignores, leaving the "care-taking" to families who just don't have the resources.
Your last part says it all:
"Institutionalisation of the mentally ill may be an inhumane response to the problem. But leaving these people, and their families, to cope on their own, with inadequate support and little hope, is an abdication of our responsibility as a society to care for those in most need."
What a great story. Being a salesman/person isn't really so bad. But being a door-to-door salesperson, now that's a different story. As you so aptly pointed out. Indeed, there are other jobs - like tollbooth person - that would appeal to more folks.
While I was reading, I noticed one thing I would change. But as I kept reading, I forgot what it was. I guess it wasn't really that important. Sorry.
You're lucky to have found such a friend as this. It did read just a bit awkwardly because the lines are such different lengths. But the message is great!
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Some good thoughts here, well expressed. Personally, I wouldn't have used "bad" language on the same page as one talking about what the Bible says. But that's me...
We never know what tomorrow will or won't bring. Waiting to be nice probably doesn't work then...
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Winston Churchill
As another reviewer said, this is ambitious. But I think you described time quite well in this poem. I also liked how you placed the words to appear they were falling...
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"Any healthy man can go without food for two days -- but not without poetry." -Charles Baudelaire
Poems are difficult to rate, for me anyway. They often are personal and mean something only to those who have written them or for the intended recipient. In this case, the words were heartfelt. My only suggestion would be to change "I seen" since it's not grammatically correct.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Good job, Incurable Romantic. I don't know how I missed this one, but I saw it mentioned in the public reviews. I do enjoy seeing the love you had for Linda.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Excellent. You've shared the outrageous behavior of the US in this as well as the fact that they have not righted this wrong. And you've updated us on what Cat Stevens/Yusuf Islam has been up to since we last heard him sing.
Like you, I worry that people with "wrong sounding" names will be stopped from entering our country. Conversely, wouldn't any terrorist just have to call himself John Smith? Hmmm.
Good story. Good lesson too. Another reviewer went over this quite well, pointing out many suggestions for making it "perfect", so I won't repeat them.
Welcome to Writing.com. And thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"We do not correct a piece of writing; in doing so, we question a life." William Stafford
Wow, what a beautiful story. It kept my interest so well, that if there were any "mistakes", I didn't make note of them. What lessons there are in this one. Well done.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings,
Kenzie
"When something can be read without effort, great effort has gone into its writing." -Enrique Jardiel Poncela
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