How wonderful. Advice for the bride comes from all directions, but it's rare to see advice to the groom. What a great idea...and in my favorite form - poetry.
I can see why this was included in the Romance/Love newsletter.
Hmmm. This is a good beginning for something. I guess I'm confused about the description and what it has to do with the story. "A man dances on a street corner with a child."
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Good writing, and good for you. Boy can I identify with being "between the cracks."
I home schooled my son because he wasn't a "cookie-cutter kid." Kids who don't fit the mold that public schools try to fit them all into do so well with home schooling - whether they're too bright or not bright enough, overly agressive or too cowardly. (And have you seen the statistics that show that home schooled kids don't need or use drugs for ADHD like they would if they were in public schools?)
I've written some things about being "different" lately myself. We may not be "successful" in the terms the world uses - fame and fortune - but in life terms, we're a cut above.
Thanks for the very thorough explanation of how to go about packaging things to send to our troops. Thanks, too, for remind us that even if we can't afford to buy for them or can't get out, we can certainly send letters.
A newspaper in our area came up with another way to show support for our local men and women serving in the military.
In Their Names (E) Support our troops. Volunteer "In Their Names." #657907 by Kenzie
Interesting poll. That most of the answers you've received have been none of the above and all of the above is really telling.
I realize that the real world is full of violence. I prefer to see it only in the nightly news. When reading, I prefer a good inspirational book or story. Guess that's why I write them as well.
To me, the darker we portray the world in movies and books and music, the darker it becomes. Wonder if it would work the other way?
Interesting poll. My choice for worst President wasn't listed, though, so I didn't vote. Perhaps you should add "other" and let us pick.
The ones you listed were all, in my opinion, equally good and bad - just for different reasons.
I you asked me which one I disliked most it would be Clinton, not just for his sexual adventures (which I know other Presidents had before him with more descretion), but for the lies he told and the lives he destroyed in his career. I think he dishonored the office of President horribly. (And that of Governor too.) In my opinion, he earned the nickname "Slick Willy" and it is for his deceipt that I dislike him most. (Not even getting into anything more political, like foreign policy.)
And if you asked me which Presidents I liked most, it would have to be the Bush father and son team. Of all the recent Presidents, I think they were the most genuine about their thoughts and feelings. Perhaps that's what the American public doesn't understand. Honesty is so rare in our world today that we tend to distrust the very word, the very idea. That doesn't make them perfect or imperfect, just likeable.
This is a well written and obviously well thought out article about the public review system. I agree with much of it, but not all. (If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary?)
Three points that certainly need emphasis:
1) Copying a writer's entire story with a detailed critique takes up space and does make some writers NOT choose that story as something to read.
2) Copying a writer's entire story in a public review may be something the writer doesn't want. He/she may have restricted it to certain viewers for a reason.
3) How seriously can we take a public reviewer who screams about spelling, yet spells numerous words in the review incorrectly?
Again, well done. And since you've said it so well, the rest of us don't have to write our own article.
Everyone deserves that perfect love. I'm glad you're happy. (That doesn't mean I understand, but there are lots of things in this world I don't understand.)
Something that confused me was that throughout this story, there were "J's" sprinkled. And I didn't see a reason for that.
I probably would leave out all the "LOL's" too.
And I found these errors:
It was Spring of 2001 when I met him, though another friend. His best friend, actually, whom I had been talking to. (You have these lines twice in your story. The second sentence would be better not ending in "to." His best friend, actually, to whom I had been talking.)
They had been best friends all their lives, had actually known each other as long as they were toddlers. (since they were toddlers.)
When I first seen him he looked about 14 (When I first saw him...)
Bless your heart. This is great. Good form, certainly made me smile (and laugh in some places).
What we don't realize as kids is that what's uncool when we're young isn't so uncool when we're adults. Or maybe those things just don't matter as much.
This reminded me of my sister too. She walked into walls as a kid. Never could figure out why. But her daughter does the same thing.
This is a cute story. There are some places where your apostrophe's have come out as equal signs. It's always a good idea to check your stories and poems after you've entered them, so you can edit those kinds of things right away.
I know about those terriers and how they think they can guard the world.
I think this is the first time I've visited your portfolio. Welcome to Writing.com. Do let me know if I can help you get to know and understand us.
Blessings,
Kenzie
Spike The Wonder Dog (ASR) Spike the Wonder Dog. I think of him as I sit outside each morning having coffee time. #438457 by Kenzie
This line isn't proper English.....
How time has truly flied.
But "How time has truly flown" wouldn't rhyme.
How about.....How time truly flies?
I know this is something you've already given to your son, and it has beautiful sentiment. He is blessed to had a dad who cares so much. Not all are so lucky.
The lines, though, are a bit uneven. Here's what I might do with it.
How fast you have grown.
How time truly flies.
The day you were born,
You touched me inside.
Never was there a day
You didn’t give me joy.
Special in every way
My precious birthday boy.
Birthday time, here again,
Like ones that came before.
I hope ‘tis a happy one,
That they’ll be many more.
So now read my birthday words,
And know that they are true.
You'll always be my buddy,
I’ll always be proud of you.
It's certainly good as it is. But as I tell every poet, a friend of mine who makes his living writing poetry and reading it to groups, gave me some excellent advice. He told me to always read poetry aloud to see if it flows properly, and if the meter is correct. That's great advice. Sometimes, what appears perfect on paper or on the computer screen needs just a bit of tweaking to make it sound right when read aloud.
We're glad you've joined our Writing.com family. Let me know if I can help you as you get used to being here.
Interesting thoughts. But, as in most of life, I don't think things are quite this simple. My first husband was a combination of the slob and the obsessive. And what a combination that was!
This is well written and well organized. I would suggest, maybe, shorter paragraphs. I'd also suggest spaces between paragraphs to make it easier to read.
Excellent. The directions for this contest asked you to describe spring so that it could be seen, felt, heard, smelled and touched. You did that! I certainly felt that I was in the midst of that beginning of spring in your poem. And I loved the use of the cat.
Good for you. It's good to stand up for your beliefs and for your friends.
It always amazes me when organizations of any kind say, "go ahead and leave" to people who have been their supporters and their friends.
Thanks for sharing, for letting us know about the goings on of this organization. I've heard some similar stories about other non-profits from someone close to me who has served on boards. People who give and volunteer for them would be so surprised at what goes on behind the scenes.
Wonderfully written, a great ending to a mere 20 cent problem. That you thought about paying the $30+ dollars to just end this is exactly what most people probably do, rather than fight the system. But as you discovered, contacting the local news people about problems of this sort is a great alternative. Good for you.
Thanks once more for a wonderful addition to the story. I do like how you've handled having people be mostly non-judgmental about the fact that Crystal and Erik had been together a few weeks before the wedding. In the story, it makes sense. Oh that real people could always try to understand before they judge.
Thanks, Jim. You've done it again. There are many things about which a writer can write they they haven't experienced. That's what research is for. But, writing about love like this can, I think, only be done by someone who has participated in this kind of loving relationship.
I did find a few boo-boo's...
cutting the first two pieces and handed on each to Erick and Crystal (one)
I’d like to have all ht eligible bachelors here today form a group (the)
Second later Crystal screamed with delight (Seconds)
Something else. When the Pastor gave Erik and Crystal the tape, it sounded like he was talking about his own church, and not the one where the wedding was held.
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