Overall Impression
Interesting and entertaining story. There is always something to worry about when werewolves are on the loose. Good write.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter in this story are ok but I do feel that the longer paragraphs need to be shortened a bit.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I did notice two spelling errors:
threw=through
expiation=explaination
Something in this line doesn't sound right:
That made me remember, oh, she Mari had said to me the night before
Ideas & Suggestions
None other than the ones previously mentioned.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall Impression
Not a bad story. I am a bit confused though because no one in the story is or was pregnant, and there is no baby. All I can assume is that you plan on adding more to this.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I think the form of this story needs to be edited a bit. You should shorten your paragraphs and seperate all of the dialogue. It makes for much easier reading. The meter of this story is fine. N/A for rhyme.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
Unfortunately, I did see a number of errors in this story. Spelling and grammatical. A quick run through MS Word will help you fix the errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
None in addition to the ones mentioned earlier.
Write On!
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall Impression
I am not sure I fully understand the concept behind this poem, other than the fact that the character felt that she needed help. Why she needed it has me wondering.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Form and meter aren't bad. There is no rhyme scheme in this poem.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
All fine except for one I not capitalized.
Ideas & Suggestions
I would try and make the desription of this poem a little more revealing. That way the reader has more insight into the piece.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Overall Impression
I really liked what you had to say in this piece. It's open and honest, straight forward and to the point. I agree that much of our lives are wasted on "stuff" that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to grow up. Allow yourself the pleasure to enjoy your youth while you can. Being an adult isn't always what it is cracked up to be.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
This story has no rhyme scheme, but the flow and meter are well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw one spelling error in the second sentence. You forgot to capitalize your I. The rest is fine.
Ideas & Suggestions
This piece speaks for itself and I wouldn't change a thing.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Oh poor little Kanga. It's so sad that she couldn't stay and had to find a new home. I would have all the cats in the world if it were possible.
I didn't see any errors in this poem but I do feel the the form and meter could use a bit of work. The longer lines take away from the flow of the piece. I think if you cut them down to fit with the rest of the poem, it would flow more freely. Just a suggestion though. All in all this is a very cute poem.
Overall Impression
What a lovely collection of memories. I adore the rain and in the summer I often go play outside in it with my kids. Rain holds fond memories for us all.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Great form and meter.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I didn't find any errors.
Overall Impression
This is really good. It's a lighter side of the dreaded disorder. Great Write!
Form, Rhyme & Meter
In this line:The cold seeps beneath the skin, you are one syllable off form the rest of the stanza. If you added "in" after "seeps" it would fit perfectly.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No mistakes were found in this poem.
Ideas & Suggestions
Great as is, keep up the good work.
Overall Impression
Good for Madeline. I am glad she stood up to her bully. I really enjoyed this story. It brought a smile to my face and gave me a good laugh. Well done!
Form, Rhyme & Meter
This story does not contain a rhyme scheme but the form and meter are great.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
One spelling error:grimey=grimy, the rest is fine.
Overall Impression
This poem is full of raw emotion. It's powerful and moving. You did a great job and writing can help heal your wounds. Great job poet!
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I didn't see any issues with these.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No errors were found.
Overall Impression
Very good and uniquely fascinating. I hope you plan on adding more to this. You have a great starting point with this story.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Form and meter are quite good.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I noticed a few errors with grammar where capital letters weren't used where they should have been. I have also listed some spelling errors:
starred=stared
stair=stare
embrodry=embroidery
some where=somewhere
Ideas & Suggestions
None others that those listed above.
Overall Impression
This poem is marvelous. The way in which you describe "Sunrise" gives a stunning mental picture. Your words are eloquent and add zest to this poem.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
All well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I found no errors in this poem.
Overall Impression
This is priceless! I can empathize with your dilema, I can't find the right type either. If you aren't a size 4 forget it! This is well written and gave me a good laugh.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter of this story were very well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I didn't see any errors.
This story came very highly recommended and I can see why. I have only read chapter one and I am already hooked. The nerve of those big wigs telling Jo she has to be married. Simply preposterous. Anyway, this story is awesome. It's well written, has great form and there are no errors. I look forward to finishing it.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/damiana/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/29
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.54 seconds at 2:10am on Jul 02, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Overall Impression 
