I am so glad to see that you have taken these great poems out of hiding for all of us to see. I love Lions and this poem is really good. You gave such a great description of what you saw I was able to create a vision in my mind. My own personal safari. Great work my friend.
Overall Impression
Strong and sad but with a glimmer of hope for the battered woman. Most men don't change but she can believe he will. Nice write on a difficult subject.
Overall Impression
This is a very good start and you are right about people not understanding. Disabilites of all kinds are overlooked. Great write newbie! I look forward to reading more.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
These were very good. No rhyme pattern present.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I didn't see any errors.
The sorrow of losing your life to a bottle can't get much worse. Interesting look at it from the eyes of a drunk. Good form, the meter if off a bit but there were no spelling errors. Nice write poet.
What a unique way to look the comforts of home and the great outdoors. The yearning you have to be free is very clear in this piece. Nice write. In this I saw no errors, and the form and meter were fine.
This is strong, powerful and emotional. The words on the page feel like they are striking out against their enemy. Great form and meter, no errors. Good Job!
Overall Impression
I am not usually a harsh critic for anything I read but this piece needs a lot of work.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
Many errors that need to be corrected for all items listed here.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
No rhyme, but the form and meter need work.
Ideas, Suggestions
Some of your sentences are running together, others need to be capitalized. You are suing the same phrase more than once in a sentence. These are the basics. Do what you can to edit it; you will see a big difference.
Very powerful poem with many feelings we have all felt from one time or another. You wrote this well. The form is very good, the meter is great and I didn't see any mistakes. Great write poet.
You have represented each of the seasons remarkably well in this poem. It flows wonderfully, the form is great and I found no errors. Awesome write poet!
A very well written futuristic story. It was all very believeable. The story flowed well, was well paced and the grammar and punctuation are fine. I did see one spelling error in this line: Will you came away with me to another world?”
"came" should be "come"
Overall Impression
Much of what you say in this poem shows that you really cared for this person, no matter what. They just didn't get it. Someday they will then it will be theri loss. Nice poem with lots of feeling.
Overall Impression
What a cute poem about a tough little princess. I can relate, I have 2 of them. This is sweet and brought a smile to my face.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
No problems with any of these.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
These are all well done. I did find one small problem with this line:Dressed in purple and pink, the flow in this line doesn't match the stanza. If you added an "in" in front of pink, the probem would be solved. Just a suggestion of course.
Ideas, Suggestions
Other than the above mentioned, none.
This is absolutely remarkable! You made this sci-fi/fantasy story so believeable I am taken aback. The flow and progression of the story are wonderful, and the grammar and punctuation are fine for the most part, except for this one line: You would be temporarily disoriented would should be will. Overall, Sam this is an A++ story.
Overall Impression
It's a scary reality that most of us don't want to believe, but this poem may be looked at as a prediction of the future. You have written it well and your message rings out loud and clear.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
I saw one spelling error:We struggle, strive amd carry on, The "amd" should be "and". The rest of this poem is fine.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
All of these are ok.
Ideas, Suggestions
None for this item except for the one mentioned above.
The description of this poem tells us that this is a teenage confession of love. In my opinion, it is written with maturity that some teenagers I know lack. It has great form and flow as well as superb spelling. Awesome write poet!
Overall Impression
You have described something in this piece but I wasn't exactly sure of what it was. Fear was the first thing that came to mind but I could be wrong.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
I didn't see any mistakes.
This poem spoke to me. I think it's because I can relate to it so well. I too have many things that I am dealing with and it is hard to know what to do first. I wish I could wash my hands of them all. This is well written, has good form, and it flows well. Good write.
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Overall Impression
Doubts can be overcome if you give yourself the courage to believe. I learned that very important lesson not long ago. You wrote this well but I think you are too hard on yourself.
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
No errors were found
Form, Rhyme & Meter
No particular rhyming pattern in this poem, although the meter and form are good.
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Overall Impression
Fantastic story. It is well written and detailed. The characters are believeable and it has an air of suspense and mystery. Great Job!
Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation
In this line: It hadn’t be the police visit. I think the "be" should be "been". No other errors were found
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Good progression, well paced.
Ideas, Suggestions
Good as is.
Damiana
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