Overall Impression
I am not sure if I know where to start. This was an incredible story. It was very surreal and I found myself being drawn in to the mystery. It wasn't until the very end did I get it. Awesome Work.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter and great. There is no rhyme scheme in this story.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw no errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
I have none for this story.
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This is wonderful and such a sweet idea for all those missing their home. It is written with style and grace and the words flow easily as you read it. I saw no errors and the form is great. This was a pleasure to read. I admire your work. Thanks for sharing.
Really good story. I was almost tempted to give it a 2 just for fun I found that your story contained alot of the same elements you find on this site. Coincidence? I think not. Great work Sam.
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"Invalid Item"
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A unique perspective tainted by darkness and fear. Interesting piece, well written with no errors. Form and meter are well done. Overall, this is a very good poem.
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"Invalid Item"
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The feelings you write about are rare but I know how you feel. You expressed yourself very well. The flow and meter are fine and I didn't see any errors. Thanks for sharing.
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"Invalid Item"
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My name is Damiana and I will be reviewing your entry for this weeks Challenge!
Distant Star (E) A young girl's journey in reaching her dream. Please read and review! #1080923 by Meg Okaya
A very well told story about a dream come true. I encourage you to follow your dreams. I didn't see any errors on this story and the form and meter are well done.
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"Invalid Item"
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Overall Impression
Interesting and powerful poem. There is alot of rage in this character and I would like to know why she is so angry. There is nothing worse that someone trying to make you happy when it just won't work. I empathize with her.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I didn't find any issues with these.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No errors found
Ideas & Suggestions
None.
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Overall Impression
Interesting and entertaining story. There is always something to worry about when werewolves are on the loose. Good write.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter in this story are ok but I do feel that the longer paragraphs need to be shortened a bit.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I did notice two spelling errors:
threw=through
expiation=explaination
Something in this line doesn't sound right:
That made me remember, oh, she Mari had said to me the night before
Ideas & Suggestions
None other than the ones previously mentioned.
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Overall Impression
Not a bad story. I am a bit confused though because no one in the story is or was pregnant, and there is no baby. All I can assume is that you plan on adding more to this.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I think the form of this story needs to be edited a bit. You should shorten your paragraphs and seperate all of the dialogue. It makes for much easier reading. The meter of this story is fine. N/A for rhyme.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
Unfortunately, I did see a number of errors in this story. Spelling and grammatical. A quick run through MS Word will help you fix the errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
None in addition to the ones mentioned earlier.
Write On!
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Overall Impression
I am not sure I fully understand the concept behind this poem, other than the fact that the character felt that she needed help. Why she needed it has me wondering.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Form and meter aren't bad. There is no rhyme scheme in this poem.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
All fine except for one I not capitalized.
Ideas & Suggestions
I would try and make the desription of this poem a little more revealing. That way the reader has more insight into the piece.
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Overall Impression
I really liked what you had to say in this piece. It's open and honest, straight forward and to the point. I agree that much of our lives are wasted on "stuff" that in the grand scheme of things don't matter. I wouldn't be in too much of a hurry to grow up. Allow yourself the pleasure to enjoy your youth while you can. Being an adult isn't always what it is cracked up to be.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
This story has no rhyme scheme, but the flow and meter are well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw one spelling error in the second sentence. You forgot to capitalize your I. The rest is fine.
Ideas & Suggestions
This piece speaks for itself and I wouldn't change a thing.
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Oh poor little Kanga. It's so sad that she couldn't stay and had to find a new home. I would have all the cats in the world if it were possible.
I didn't see any errors in this poem but I do feel the the form and meter could use a bit of work. The longer lines take away from the flow of the piece. I think if you cut them down to fit with the rest of the poem, it would flow more freely. Just a suggestion though. All in all this is a very cute poem.
Overall Impression
What a lovely collection of memories. I adore the rain and in the summer I often go play outside in it with my kids. Rain holds fond memories for us all.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Great form and meter.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I didn't find any errors.
Overall Impression
This is really good. It's a lighter side of the dreaded disorder. Great Write!
Form, Rhyme & Meter
In this line:The cold seeps beneath the skin, you are one syllable off form the rest of the stanza. If you added "in" after "seeps" it would fit perfectly.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No mistakes were found in this poem.
Ideas & Suggestions
Great as is, keep up the good work.
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