Overall Impression
If I didn't know better I would ask if you wrote this for me. I relate very well to what you speak about in this poem. Writing this may be your first step. Great work fellow poet.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
These are well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw no errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
I have none for this item.
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Overall Impression
This is an absolutely delightful story! I can see how Jenkins would rattle the feathers of the authoritative Headmaster. Awesome work!
Form & Meter
Both are done perfectly.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
This story is golden. Don't change a thing.
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Overall Impression
This is quite an interesting story you have going here. It reminds me of Star Trek. The concept of the story is great and you have good characterization. There is enough going on within the storyline to keep the reader interested.
Form & Meter
I felt that both of these were done well.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I ran this through MS Word to help me with some editing that it needed. There are a few things that I haven't outlined as errors, so you may want to run it through again to see what the recommended changes were. I will list the ones I feel should be correct now:
his tassledtussled
exhaustion exhaustion
the trimensional do you mean tri-dimensional
extentions extensions
patroll patrol
millenium, millennium
homeworld home world
scythers, no need for the s at the end, already in plural form
aggresssion, aggression
apendages, appendages
protusions, protrusions
persued pursued
trillian, trillion
discrepencies discrepancies
Some of these mistakes are found more than once in the story, so you may need to proofread it again to gt them all.
Ideas & Suggestions
Other than cleaning up the spelling error, this is ok.
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Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1082153 by Not Available.
Overall Impression
I found this to be a very well written and heart-felt poem. It is obvious that you love your son very much. As a parent myself I can relate. The gift you gave him with this poem will last him a lifetime.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
These are all done superbly.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I did not find any errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
This poem is great as is.
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I think your contest idea is great. The fact that you are very specific with your list of rules, shows me you are wise beyond your 13 years. I am impressed. I wish you luck with all your endeavors, although it doesn't look like you need it. Your contest is very popular.
I have to say that what I read in this poem would confuse me as well if it were my dream. You take the reader on an adventure with this poem. The form, rhyme and meter are great and I did not see any errors. Very well done poet.
Good luck in the challenge.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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This is truly an incredible story. Tilane and Kolin were created ideally and fit well with this story. It is well written, has good form and is very believeable. I didn't find any errors in this piece. Superb Write.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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Overall Impression
The character in this poem is certainly in a vicarious position. It's never easy wanting to tell the other person how you feel without knowing what their response will be. Great write!
Form, Rhyme & Meter
No errors
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw no mistakes
Ideas & Suggestions
I have none.
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Overall Impression
You certainly make a good point here about friends being unloyal. I have to agree with what you say as well about not being friends with people who judge you.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter of this poem are ok. There is no rhyme scheme present.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
You do have a few errors in this poem that could be corrected with a quick run through spell check or MS word.
Ideas & Suggestions
Other than the spelling errors I have none.
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What a sad and tragic story. I can't imagine what it was like for this poor young girl to lose her mother andthen to find out she is unwanted by her aunt and uncle. I cried at the ending when she cut herself to find out why her "blood" was unpure. This was an incredible story free from any errors. Great work.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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Overall Impression
Eerie little Halloween story but I wouldn't expect anything less for that time of year. Good write.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
Form and meter are fine. There is no rhyme scheme present in this piece.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
There are two spelling errors I picked out: i=I and an o which should be to. I also notice that there were some grammatical errors. If you give this a quick run through MS word you will be able to fix them up in no time.
Ideas & Suggestions
None other than the ones mentioned.
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Overall Impression
I am not sure if I know where to start. This was an incredible story. It was very surreal and I found myself being drawn in to the mystery. It wasn't until the very end did I get it. Awesome Work.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
The form and meter and great. There is no rhyme scheme in this story.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
I saw no errors.
Ideas & Suggestions
I have none for this story.
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Really good story. I was almost tempted to give it a 2 just for fun I found that your story contained alot of the same elements you find on this site. Coincidence? I think not. Great work Sam.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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A unique perspective tainted by darkness and fear. Interesting piece, well written with no errors. Form and meter are well done. Overall, this is a very good poem.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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The feelings you write about are rare but I know how you feel. You expressed yourself very well. The flow and meter are fine and I didn't see any errors. Thanks for sharing.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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My name is Damiana and I will be reviewing your entry for this weeks Challenge!
Distant Star (E) A young girl's journey in reaching her dream. Please read and review! #1080923 by Meg Okaya
A very well told story about a dream come true. I encourage you to follow your dreams. I didn't see any errors on this story and the form and meter are well done.
Don’t forget to check out your new forum for the 15th Challenge Winners:
"Invalid Item"
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Overall Impression
Interesting and powerful poem. There is alot of rage in this character and I would like to know why she is so angry. There is nothing worse that someone trying to make you happy when it just won't work. I empathize with her.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I didn't find any issues with these.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
No errors found
Ideas & Suggestions
None.
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Overall Impression
I found that your story contained alot of the same elements you find on this site. Coincidence? I think not. Great work Sam.