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826
826
Review of Emotion  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hello Newbies!!!
My name is Damiana and I am here to review your entry for this weeks Newbie Challenge.

 Emotion Open in new Window. (E)
Emotion ~ pleiades with "e" words ~ ^_^ contest entry
#1072849 by Kate - Writing & Reading Author IconMail Icon



*Reading* My Thoughts *Reading*
This poem is incredible! You have found a way to capture the meaning of Emotion in a very powerful piece. Well Done!

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
No errors

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Really good.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
None at all.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Wonderful example pleiades poetry.

Damiama
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827
827
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello Newbies!!!
My name is Damiana and I am here to review your entry for this weeks Newbie Challenge.

 The Long Road That I've Travelled Open in new Window. (E)
The start of many personal experiences for me in the journey to becoming a truck driver..
#1072671 by NightWhisper Author IconMail Icon



*Reading* My Thoughts *Reading*
Knowing what I do about the trucking industry gave me a deeper understanding of the trials and tribulations you drivers face. I like your story because it is real. No fancy words to make it prettier, no cliches just the real nitty gritty behind the life of a long haul driver.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
This story was free from errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Well paced, easy to read.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
Keep us posted on your progress!

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Great story that gives us a behinds the scenes look at the world of trucking.

Damiama
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828
828
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hello Newbies!!!
My name is Damiana and I am here to review your entry for this weeks Newbie Challenge.

 Hoppity's Adventure Open in new Window. (E)
Hoppity’s friend is missing. He visits the family that’s moved in. Will he vanish too?
#1066327 by arch_addicted to WDC Author IconMail Icon



*Reading* My Thoughts *Reading*
What a delightful story. As I read it, I was brought back to my childhood and all of the wonderful stories I had read. I feel this story has a good lesson to teach little ones. You did a terrific job.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
No errors

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
This story was well paced, easy to read and comprehend.


*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Great story full of childlike innocence that appeals to all ages.

Damiama
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829
829
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hello Newbies!!!
My name is Damiana and I am here to review your entry for this weeks Newbie Challenge.

 lll: The Silver Lance Open in new Window. (E)
The discovery of a great weapon which supposedly vanished long ago.
#1038325 by Jaoli~ miss you all, bye ;( Author IconMail Icon



*Reading* My Thoughts *Reading*
Since this was the third chapter to a story of which I have not read, I found it very difficult to read without prior knowledge of what has gone on so far. Rating it without reading the first 2 chapters is going to be hard.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I didn't see any

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Fine

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
The only suggestion I have would be to start with the first chapter if you haven't already done so.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
From the part I did read this story certainly has potential.

Damiana
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830
830
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 You Wish you Could Fly Open in new Window. (E)
A Poem about the wish to fly.. My first poem, hope you like it.
#1066232 by Ashentree Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
This is a pretty good start for your very first poem. The wish for this character to fly is very clear.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I didn't find any mistakes

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
The flow and rhythm in this poem are a bit choppy. You have some lines rhyming but then others don't. This creates a speed bump for the reader.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I think a bit of re-working could have this poem flow much better.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Pretty good start. Keep up the good work.


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831
831
Review of A Flower Seed  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 A Flower Seed Open in new Window. (E)
A string of Haiku about flowers
#1066958 by essence of thought Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
This poem leaves a very vivid picture of the birth of a flower. I found it to be light and refreshing.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
There are no errors

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Good

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Superb Haiku
832
832
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 Musings of a shepherd. Open in new Window. (13+)
Some thoughts on living and working in France and conversations with my sheep!
#1067322 by esperaza Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
You have a very active lifestyle and I appreciate you sharing many of your stories with us.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I saw several mistakes regarding spacing at the end of sentences.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I think if you condensed these blogs, they would be easier to read. I found that there was too much information in them. Just a suggestion though.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
This blog tells me you lead a very happy and healthy life.

Good luck in the challenge. I look forward to seeing you next time.
833
833
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
Fourteenth Of March, Final Open in new Window. (13+)
A man finds more than he bargained after a motorway pile up. (EDITED! Please Review!)
#1066047 by Hopkin Green Frog Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
What an awesome story, you better say you are going to add more to it! I can't believe you didn't tell us what the message was! I could scream...

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I found no errors in this story.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Well paced

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
Add more...!!!

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Freaky, eerie, gruesome but very creative!
834
834
Review of Color Blind  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
STATIC
Color Blind Open in new Window. (13+)
A woman's thoughts on interracial relationships - a love against all odds.
#1066513 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
I have great respect for you and the courage you had to have written this story. I am honored that you chose to share it with our community. All of us here are from different cultures, races, backgrounds etc., and I personally can relate to the predjudices we face in society. Thank you for speaking out for everyone!

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I found no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Perfectly written.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
None

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
This piece is deserving of an A+.
835
835
Review of Patrick Angel  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
Patrick Angel Open in new Window. (E)
Patrick Angel enters our world.
#1067110 by mom24paws Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
This was so moving, I am still crying. You have done an incredible job with this story. It is funny, heart-wrenching, caring and sad.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
Perfect!

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Wonderful!

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
Absolutely none!

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
A+

I wish you luck in the challenge and hope to see you in the next round.
836
836
Review of The Old Captain  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 The Old Captain Open in new Window. (E)
A Poem about a Captain who risked his life for his ships crew and cargo.
#1067498 by Ashentree Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
A great poem that pays its respects to a fallen Captain. You have painted a very realistic view of a captain's life. Good job!

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I found no errors in this poem.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
I did feel that this piece had a few speed bumps. Some of your lines match very well, but others cut off to quick.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I feel that a bit of editing to get the flow and rhythm pattern a bit more equal would greatly improve this piece.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Great poem!

I wish you luck in the challenge and look forward to seeing you in the next one.
837
837
Review of Intimacy  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 Intimacy Open in new Window. (13+)
self-expression of a revelation about love
#1062849 by Max Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
You have certainly taken a good hard look at Intimacy and explained many of it's quirks. I really enjoyed reading this piece. You ask and answer many valuable questions. Thank you for sharing this piece.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
Great

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Well written self expression.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
This is a piece that many of us should read, as it may clarify many aspects about Intimacy.
838
838
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 Goldilocks & the Three Bears - A Sequel Open in new Window. (13+)
Ever wondered what happened after Goldilocks disrupted the Bears' life? Find out here.
#1067305 by arch_addicted to WDC Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
A delightful and imaginative story from the bears perspective. This was funny! You did a great job telling this story and the ending was golden.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
No errors were found in this story.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Well written and easy to read.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
Great as it is.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
Looking at the classic tale of The Three Bears from their perspective, was in my opinion delightful.

Good luck in the challenge!


839
839
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
Rune - Self Portrait Open in new Window. (13+)
Short poem I wrote for my first sig^_^
#1067087 by Kate - Writing & Reading Author IconMail Icon



*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
I feel that this is a very thought inspiring piece. A wonderful look at your self portrait.


*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
No errors

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Fine

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none.

*Thumbsup* Overall Impression *Thumbsup*
A very artistic and creative piece.

I look forward to seeing you in the next challenge.
840
840
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie Challenge.
 A Pathetic Realist and a Stable Dreamer Open in new Window. (13+)
Going off to university, learning any mistake can be fixed if it's truly important.
#1067064 by r_blanchard Author IconMail Icon


*Flower3* My Thoughts *Flower3*
This is a beautiful story. It speaks to us in a way we can all understand and relate to. None of us are sure where things in life are going to take us but in our hearts, we know where we belong.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I didn't see any errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
This story is well written, easy to read and is very realistic.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none. This is perfect the way it is.

*Flower3* Overall Impression *Flower3*
Wonderful short story filled with dreams that keep love alive.
841
841
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
{image:1067148:}

Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
 The dog that got away Open in new Window. (13+)
A story about my experience watching someone else's dog.
#1066169 by Ditto Author IconMail Icon


*Flower5* Overview *Flower5*
This story tells a cute little tale about the perils of dog-sitting.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
I really enjoyed the genuine humor in this story. Dog-sitting is not an easy task.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I found no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
The story flowed well, was easy to read and comprehend.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I feel this story does quite well as it is. Although I think you were a bit hard on yourself in the end.
842
842
Rated: E | (4.5)
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What was on the paper???????? I am sure that's not the first time you were asked that question. I really enjoyed this story and how you associate each candy and it's contents, with a memory from the past. Very inventive my friend. And I certainly do agree that taste is not the only thing affected by chocolate.

Lisa
843
843
Review of Horror  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
 Horror Open in new Window. (13+)
My feeling toward society. Possibly two pieces..."c" section and the rest.
#1063817 by Max Author IconMail Icon


*Flower5* Overview *Flower5*
This poem reflects an individuals struggle with varying emotions.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
I liked this poem because it gives the reader a look at some of the struggles we as human face. For some, these may never be experienced, but for other they can take us over.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I saw no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Fine

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I have none.

Good Luck in the challenge.
844
844
Review of Birches  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
 Birches Open in new Window. (E)
As figures in a seamstress' shop...
#1064055 by Pen_and_Coffee Author IconMail Icon


*Flower5* Overview *Flower5*
A short poem about a seamstress shop and it's remnants.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
This poem has potential. You have a good start here but there isn't much to comment on.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I found no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Very good.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I think that this would need to be expanded on to get a higher rating. It doesn't have much content in it. Maybe if you added more about the shop itself, the seamstress....it could be better.

Hope to see you in the next challenge.
845
845
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
 Drink of Black, Thread of Gold Open in new Window. (13+)
Poem that shows the supernatural conflict of humanity and the choice that we must all make
#1065319 by SimpleJester Author IconMail Icon


*Flower5* Overview *Flower5*
A poem about choices we must make.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
I really enjoyed the creativity in this piece. I also liked the fact that it makes you think.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I saw no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Perfect!

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I feel that this piece is great the way it is.

I hope to see you in the next challenge.
846
846
Review of Warm Traces  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
 Warm Traces Open in new Window. (E)
A walk through an emotional doorway....
#1065134 by raymond Author IconMail Icon


*Flower5* Overview *Flower5*
A poem that shows the impact of emotions.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
I truly enjoyed the endearing quality in this poem. The words touch you and experience what the writer is feeling.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
I saw no errors.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
Good.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
This poem is lovely the way it is.
847
847
Review of Dream never had  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (2.5)
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Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.

*Flower3* Overview *Flower3*
A poem about a dream, or lack there of.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
This poem was just "ok" for me. There isn't a lot of content for me to give feedback on.

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
The spelling and grammar in this poem are fine.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
The flow and rhythm in this poem are good until the last two stanzas. The use of the word "dream" becomes very repetitive and takes away the flow.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
I think a bit of editing on the last two stanzas could easily make this poem flow much better. Overall I am giving it a 2.5. I hope to see you again in the next challenge.
848
848
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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*Flower3* Overview *Flower3*
In this story you are introduced to a family of three. Lindy, Gareth and baby Tracy. You follow them through many ups and downs. The ending was not what you might expect.

*Thumbsup* What I liked *Thumbsup*
What I liked most about this story was the harsh reality of it. The scenario in which the story is based on is so true for many young people these days. You showed how difficult it is for teens to be raising kids at such a young age. You did a great job!

*Star* Spelling & Grammar *Star*
There are a few things I noticed as far as grammatical errors. Caps being used where they don't need to be.

*Note1* Flow & Rhythm *Note1*
N/A as this is a short story.

*Idea* Suggestions for Improvement *Idea*
You have quite a bit of dialogue in this story and it gets lost within the paragraph. I think this would read better if you broke the dialogue from each character into a line of its own. You may want to consider breaking down some of the paragraphs as well, making them a bit shorter. I feel that it would make the story easier to read.
849
849
Review of The Listener  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Flower4*Good Points: This piece is well done because it is written from the heart and from experience.

*Flower4*Spelling & Grammer: I didn't find any errors

*Flower4*Things I'd change: The only thing I would change about this story is the form. I would break it down into seperate paragraphs when the topic changes.

*Flower4*Overall: This story is well written, inspirational and speaks volumes.
850
850
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
What a truly inspiring holiday story. All of the characters are so true to life it makes the story so easy to read.

This is very well written. I did not notice any spelling or grammatical errors. The story is well structured and it flows perfectly.

I will certainly be taking some time to read the other chapters.

Very well done!
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