What was on the paper???????? I am sure that's not the first time you were asked that question. I really enjoyed this story and how you associate each candy and it's contents, with a memory from the past. Very inventive my friend. And I certainly do agree that taste is not the only thing affected by chocolate.
Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
Horror (13+) My feeling toward society. Possibly two pieces..."c" section and the rest. #1063817 by Max
Overview
This poem reflects an individuals struggle with varying emotions.
What I liked
I liked this poem because it gives the reader a look at some of the struggles we as human face. For some, these may never be experienced, but for other they can take us over.
Overview
A short poem about a seamstress shop and it's remnants.
What I liked
This poem has potential. You have a good start here but there isn't much to comment on.
Spelling & Grammar
I found no errors.
Flow & Rhythm
Very good.
Suggestions for Improvement
I think that this would need to be expanded on to get a higher rating. It doesn't have much content in it. Maybe if you added more about the shop itself, the seamstress....it could be better.
Hi,
This is Damiana here to review your entry for the Newbie challenge.
Overview
A poem about a dream, or lack there of.
What I liked
This poem was just "ok" for me. There isn't a lot of content for me to give feedback on.
Spelling & Grammar
The spelling and grammar in this poem are fine.
Flow & Rhythm
The flow and rhythm in this poem are good until the last two stanzas. The use of the word "dream" becomes very repetitive and takes away the flow.
Suggestions for Improvement
I think a bit of editing on the last two stanzas could easily make this poem flow much better. Overall I am giving it a 2.5. I hope to see you again in the next challenge.
Overview
In this story you are introduced to a family of three. Lindy, Gareth and baby Tracy. You follow them through many ups and downs. The ending was not what you might expect.
What I liked
What I liked most about this story was the harsh reality of it. The scenario in which the story is based on is so true for many young people these days. You showed how difficult it is for teens to be raising kids at such a young age. You did a great job!
Spelling & Grammar
There are a few things I noticed as far as grammatical errors. Caps being used where they don't need to be.
Flow & Rhythm
N/A as this is a short story.
Suggestions for Improvement
You have quite a bit of dialogue in this story and it gets lost within the paragraph. I think this would read better if you broke the dialogue from each character into a line of its own. You may want to consider breaking down some of the paragraphs as well, making them a bit shorter. I feel that it would make the story easier to read.
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Overview 
What I liked 
Flow & Rhythm 
Suggestions for Improvement 
Overview 
Good Points: This piece is well done because it is written from the heart and from experience.