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Review Requests: OFF
4,187 Public Reviews Given
4,316 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1001
1001
Review of The World Series.  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)
Dedwards1119,

I like the concept behind this story. The idea of a father and child going to a baseball game together is great. I thought the story would be more effective, though, if you varied the sentence structure a little, rather than repeating words and sentences, like "The pitcher pitched the ball." Still, this was a fun story to read.

Nice job!
1002
1002
Review of Just A Prank  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Shanna,

I enjoyed reading your story. I thought you made good use of the "white rabbit" prompt, and came up with a creative, original story. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

All the best.
1003
1003
Review of Empty Eyes  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Talhar,

This was a very moving story. I think you did a great job setting up Alexander's character and showing your audience the emotional turmoil he's going through as he gets the news about his family. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

Nice job!
1004
1004
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)
tgardner1121,

I like the concept of your story. It's always interesting to hear defining moments in other people's lives. I think this piece would be a little more effective if you were able to cut down on the run-on sentences, but it was still a good read.

Nice job.
1005
1005
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
Mara,

Another great chapter! These characters are completely captivating... and the way you continue to develop them (on their own and individually) really works well to create a full, three-dimensional world that your readers can care about and eagerly follow along.

Again, wonderful job. Keep up the good work.

Have a great weekend!
1006
1006
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Jakob,

Nice job on this story. I thought your ending was fresh and original, and your description before it was fun to read and entertaining. I thought it was a little bit of a rough transition between watching "Family Matters" and the commercial, but I know you only had 300 words to work with. Nice job... keep up the good work!
1007
1007
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Mar,

Nice job on this poem. I thought you effectively described the setting and made it as erotic as possible... although my only concern with the piece is that I don't find hummingbirds and flowers all that erotic. *Smile*

I did think you had a wonderful rhyming scheme and a great structure, though.

Nice job on this piece, and good luck in the contest!
1008
1008
Review of The Child  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
IDWBC,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your story. I thought you did a good job with the prompt, and created an interesting, unique story. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... keep up the good work and keep writing!
1009
1009
Review of Just deserts  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)
Just An Ordinary Jyo,

I enjoyed reading your story. I thought you had a great setup and the story was well written. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Nice job on this story... keep up the good work and keep writing!

All the best.
1010
1010
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
TocalGirl,

Nice job on this story. I like the structure and flow of this particular piece; it's written with a great sense of pacing. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find; just an enjoyable short story. Nice job and keep up the good work!
1011
1011
Review of The Escape  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Fred,

Nice work on this story. I like the way you twisted the ending enough to create something unexpected. That's not easy to do, especially in so few words! No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Nice job... keep up the good work and keep writing!
1012
1012
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Cynaemon,

I enjoyed reading your short story. I think you did a great job with the subject matter and creating an empathetic protagonist. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Nice job... keep up the good work and keep writing!

All the best.
1013
1013
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
KM,

I like the simplicity of your story. I thought you did a good job of capturing the detail and the characters in this story, and the ending was well written. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Nice job... keep up the good work!
1014
1014
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Mister Bosco,

Thanks for your entry in Round Two of the 2008 Short Fiction Competition! I enjoyed reading your story and thought you did a great job of creating a vivid, realistic story. I was engaged all the way through, and love your Baylor character's cool and capable disposition.

Nice job and good luck in the competition! Stay tuned; the results will be posted soon.
1015
1015
Review of Taken Away  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Thanks for your entry for the 2008 Short Fiction Competition, Big Mike! I appreciate your participation.

Overall, I enjoyed your story. I thought it was interesting and well-written, and your description was very strong. I would have liked to have seen more of the featured genre in the story, but even without the western elements, it was enjoyable to read.

Good luck in the competition! Check back soon; results will be posted before the end of the weekend.
1016
1016
Review of Addicted  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Leondra,

I liked your story. I thought you did a good job with the description and creating an effective narrative in the short span of a few words. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Nice job! Keep up the good work!

All the best to you.
1017
1017
Review of Song For My Lady  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Brandiwyn,

I enjoyed reading your story. I thought you conveyed a complex emotion in only a few short words, which is very impressive. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find; just a great short story. Thanks for the opportunity to read and review!
1018
1018
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Boxbell,

Nice job on this story. I enjoyed reading your work, and thought you did a great job of painting a vivid picture of this character and the world he lives in.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your story... keep up the good work and keep writing!
1019
1019
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (1.5)
Friendship Groovy,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. I like the premise of a mysterious building that the characters enter into, but I felt that the body of the work was a little muddled and confusing. I think this could be a really engaging short story, with a little development and detail about what happens once they're inside the building, rather than having them just go in, spend a few minutes inside, and then find their way out.

Hope this helps.
1020
1020
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Introducting: The Writer!,

I enjoyed reading your story, particularly for the imagination you were able to conjure up for this story. However, I think the story would be even stronger if you set up some of the more fantastic elements so that they didn't seem so random. For example, it makes sense that someone named Web Surfer would be able to control computers, but where does the ability to pull swords out of thin air come from?

Also, how did the main character get an invisible bag... and why would he keep a chain in there, of all things. Finally, who are Tippy and Dippy, and why are they helping Web Surfer?

I do like the imagination and concept behind this story... I think with a little more development, you could have a really great, full story.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work.
1021
1021
Review of Assignment #72  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Tozzigirl,

I like the imagination you show in this story. I think you do a great job of creating a visual, interesting narrative... however, I also felt that there were elements to the story that weren't fully explained. For example, it wasn't exactly explained why Bob shot his wife for talking back to him... and more importantly, why she "bled" eggs that hatched into dragons. I think with a little more explanation of these elements, you'd have a more well rounded, solid story.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review!
1022
1022
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
IdaLin,

I enjoyed reading this story. I thought it was a clever idea, and you executed it well. I thought the monster being able to speak... and being self-aware enough to mention its movies made it a little less scary than it could have been... but it was still a fun, entertaining read. Nice work!
1023
1023
Review of The Fish Wife  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Mithandriel,

I really enjoyed reading your entry for the Struck by Lightning contest this week. I think you did a great job of establishing your characters and explaining the mythology of merrows, both of which helped contribute to a short, successful story.

Nice work and good luck this week!
1024
1024
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
MacSmurf,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your entry for the pirate round of the 99 Word Challenge. I enjoyed reading your story, although I couldn't help but feel the skeleton pirate approach (complete with drinking rum that runs through their bodies) was a little too reminiscent of Pirates of the Caribbean. Still, it was an entertaining read. Good luck in the contest!
1025
1025
Review of Willow  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Jessi,

Another very enjoyable poem. I really like the personal style and voice that you've imbued in your writing. I've enjoyed both pieces I've read of yours... thanks again for the opportunity to read your work. Nice job; keep it up!

All the best to you.
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