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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/jeff/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/38
Review Requests: OFF
4,185 Public Reviews Given
4,314 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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926
926
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Web Witch,

Great job on these cNotes! I think you have a wonderful amount of variety among the notes, and each one is vibrant and visually interesting, and well made. Keep up the good work, both with your reviewing and with this cNote shack!

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Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  starts on May 1st! Vote for next month's featured genre in the "Featured Genre Poll" !

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews! Accepting entries through the 30th!
927
927
Review of Mistaken Identity  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Nomar,

Great job on this story! I thought it was very well written, stylish and descriptive. Not a single word was wasted, and you created a wonderfully realistic and believable world in which your audience can lose themselves. This is going to be a tough entry to beat this week... good luck and take care!
928
928
Review of Almost Lovers  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hannah Marie,

I enjoyed reading this piece. I thought you were able to imbue it was a great sense of emotion and creativity. It was well written and had a really realistic, authentic feel to it. Nice job... keep up the good work and keep writing!

Thanks for the opportunity to review your work!
929
929
Review of untitled  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Katie,

I think you've got a good start to a story here. It's a good hook and you've set up some good characters in an interesting situation... I'd love to see you expand it and write a really compelling story around this foundation!

Nice job... keep up the good work!
930
930
Review of my introduction  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Max,

I thought the beginning of your preface started out really well, and felt like it was leading to a really good build-up / hook for something else. I like what you were going for, but I thought that a little more focused attention on the execution of the latter half of the piece would really improve your audience's appreciation of it.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work!
931
931
Review of Rose of Dragona  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Rose of Dragona,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. I think you did a good job with this preface, and really captured your audience's attention with the brief description and background provided, through the internal narration of your character. Very effective!

Nice work.
932
932
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Cherry Lane,

I enjoyed reading your poem. I thought your use of rhyme and the cadence of your piece was really well done. It was a short, quick read, but still left me with an emotional connection to the work. Nice job and keep up the great work!
933
933
Review of Touch It  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
deeenvi,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. I enjoyed this short piece; I thought it was descriptive, creative and well written. It was short and didn't waste a lot of time getting to the point. Nice job... keep up the good work and keep writing!
934
934
Review of Meow  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)
NycRoBo,

I had fun reading this story. I like what you were going for and thought it was a clever joke, although I think the delivery needs to be improved a little, to make the punchline of the joke stand out better at the end. I think, in order to do that, the best thing you can do is fine-tune the mechanics of your spelling and grammar, and set up the ending so it flows better and comes a little quicker.

Other than that, nice work!
935
935
Review of The Quiet One  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
CursedFreedom,

Great job with this poem! I thought it was really well written... it was evocative, engaging and eloquent. All of the stanzas worked well and flowed into one another, and they were structured for maximum effect. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... nice job! Keep up the good work!
936
936
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Tim Chiu,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. I really thought this was an inspiring piece that includes a lesson we should all learn about loving a game for the game, and not for superficial reasons. I thought this piece was well written and a solid idea. Keep up the good work!
937
937
Review of The End  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Silver,

I like the hook you created with this piece. On the one hand, I can tell the significance those words have to you... and on the other hand, it makes me want to know what they mean. I think that emotional connection and that mystery is what makes this piece so interesting. Nice job... keep up the good work!
938
938
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
David,

Good work with this story. I thought you did a great job creating an entertaining, interesting, and engaging story... especially in so few words! I particularly liked your imagery and description, both of which I thought were great.

Nice work!
939
939
Review of my mistake  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
YoungWriter'sBrother,

I really like the sentiment of this piece, and I think you did a great job conveying the love for your daughter, although I think the grammatical and spelling problems take away from the effectiveness of this piece. I'd suggest a careful edit to fix those errors so this piece can be everything it can be.

Nice work!
940
940
Review of Horror  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
SD Houston,

Nice job with this graphic! I really like the detail and the bleak color palette. I think you did a great job of creating a creepy, atmospheric image. Great job... keep up the good work, and thanks for the opportunity to review your work!
941
941
Review of Over The Edge  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nicki,

Nice job on this story! I love the characterization and the way you used dialogue to help the story run smoothly and efficiently... and in only 55 words! Keep up the great work, and best wishes for a successful and productive week ahead!

Take care.
942
942
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Maryann,

Nice job creating this forum! I think you did a great job of tying together visuals and text and colors to create an inviting, interesting forum. Keep up the good work, and thanks for giving me the opportunity to stop by and rate your forum!
943
943
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.5)
dwade0607,

I liked the sentiment behind this story. I thought you did a good job with the concept, and the overall story works, although I think the mechanics of your execution could use a little work, particularly in fixing the typos touching up the grammar so there aren't so many run-on sentences. Other than that, this was a fun piece to read.

Take care and have a great weekend!
944
944
Review of Welcome Home  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
kyoskitten,

Nice job on this story. I enjoyed reading this short piece and think you did a great job infusing it with an inspirational/religious element without seeming heavy-handed. That balance, for me, is what makes this item work so well. Nice job!
945
945
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Arwachan,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your story. I thought you had a lot of really great description in this piece, and you structured your story in a way that flowed well and didn't stall at any point along the way. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
946
946
Review of A Boy's life  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)
smartypants,

In response to the question in the summary of your item, I definitely think you should make this story longer. As it is, you've got the actual events described in a very plain, straightforward manner. I think the addition of a little more about David and Kali's emotions will help give this piece the resonance you're looking for at the end.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!
947
947
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Big Bear,

This was a very touching story. I think you did a great job telling what's unfortunately become an all-too-familiar human story, through the antropomorphic lens of a family of bears. It was a good idea, and you did a solid job executing it.

Keep up the good work!
948
948
Review of The Big Game  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)
rmausar0508,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your story. I think you did a good job with the visuals and the concept, although the execution left a little something to be desired. I think a solid edit for grammar, coupled with a rewrite to add some style and tension to the story would be a big help for this item. Especially with events like sports, it's often a good idea to approach it in the present tense, describing the action as if the audience was right there watching the game, rather than hearing about it after the fact.

Good luck with your writing!
949
949
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Shanna,

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your story. I enjoyed reading this piece; I thought it was well written, creative, and entertaining. You did a great job of telling a complete, satisfying tale in only 120 words. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
950
950
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
J,

I liked the concept of this story, and thought you did a good job with the overall execution. If there's one suggestion I could make, it would be to remove the unnecessary sentence fragments that sometimes come up in the piece, such as "...who was now a grown man." The fact that he's a school nemesis of George, coupled with the fact that you already mentioned George was grown up, removes the need for that detail to be reiterated.

Other than that, nice job!
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