Jeff's (jeff) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

4,185 Public Reviews Given

4,314 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.

I'm good at...

Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.

Favorite Genres

I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.

876

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14 days may be credited.

#2784156

Review of I believe in......

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Interesting poll... I think you've offered some interesting options here and come up with a poll that really offers the opportunity for a lot of people with different viewpoints to weigh in on the issue. It's a clear, concise, and interesting poll.

Thanks for the opportunity to vote... have a great week!

877

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14 days may be credited.

#2784151

Review of Milk

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I'm not sure I love milk enough to create my own rituals in its honor

, but I definitely love to drink milk, especially with desserts. You can't beat milk and cookies!

Thanks for the interesting poll! Take care and have a great week!

878

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14 days may be credited.

#2784144

Review of Do You Rate Everything You Read?

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Great poll, Kimmery! For my part, I rate and review everything I read. I really try not to start reading something unless I intend to finish it... and I can't finish reading an item without offering the writer a rating and some thoughts to let him or her know that I read their item and what I thought of it.

Thanks for the interesting poll... keep up the good work!

879

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14 days may be credited.

#2784141

Review of Why do you write?

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Great idea for this poll... for my part, I usually write to relieve stress, which means that I'm mostly writing to escape reality. There are times when I write to express feelings or for the fun of it, but I most often find myself writing to relax after a long day, or to stimulate the imagination... hence the vote for "escaping reality".

880

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#2783830

Review of Her Gilded Prison

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi S. L. Britton

,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

I like the concept of this piece. I thought you did a great job coming up with a compelling scenario that really hooks your reader from the get-go. Nice job!

STORY

Your story was really well presented and well told. I was completely engrossed in the characters and story from the start, and you did a great job of keeping both the psychological and physical tension high all the way through the narrative.

CHARACTERS

Your characters were really well developed and interesting. In particular, Alessa was very sympathetic and her inner thought process was fantastic. Marco was a perfect villain, and Bianca worked well as the bargaining chip that Marco always exploits Alessa with.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue worked well for this story. It helped flesh the story out and move the narrative along at a good pace. Nicely done!

STRUCTURE

The structure of this story was excellent. It was clear, straightforward, and moved along well... no parts that dragged or didn't work... everything worked together to create a very compelling narrative.

TECHNICAL

Only one typo that I noticed:

"He had been a college{/b] man..."

OVERALL

Overall, I thought this was a great contest entry. It was exciting and tense and emotional and everything else that makes for an engaging, compelling story. Great job and good luck in this round of the contest!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

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881

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14 days may be credited.

#2783766

Review of The Refuge

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi JACE

,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

You've got a solid concept here. Your main characters relationship with her family only serves to strengthen the bond she has with Ricky which, in my opinion, is what makes this such a strong story.

STORY

I like the way you introduce Ricky's character early on, and then revisit some of the other hardships your protagonist had undergone, only to show her returning to Ricky's care and protection. The progression, and constant proof of Ricky's affections for her, that make this such a moving story.

CHARACTERS

All of the characters are very well drawn and interesting. The protagonist and Ricky are great, but you also did a solid job developing her parents, and showing them as contrasting, selfish characters that really highlight Ricky's goodness.

DIALOGUE

There was minimal dialogue in this story, but it worked well.

STRUCTURE

As stated above, the real strength of this piece is in your ability to shift between what's happening to your protagonist, and how Ricky was there to comfort her. That dynamic, after setting up the story, is what carries it through, until the very end, when you wrap things up very nicely. Good work!

TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

OVERALL

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this story. It was moving, and touching, and very well written. Good luck in this round of the Sinister Kisses contest!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **

882

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2783374

Review of Got It?

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (1.5)

Hi,

I'll be reviewing your entry for the "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"

and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Remember that the goal was to write a bad story, so my comments will be aimed towards helping you make your item worse.

Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

Your concept of a guy being convinced by his "best friend" to go out and buy liquor while he and the guy's wife (who have slept together before) are left alone in the apartment is completely nonsensical. Good job!

STORY

With all the randomness and sidetracked thoughts, I could barely keep track of what happened in the story or where it was going. I mean, seriously... he bashes a liquor store owner over the head with a bottle, and the liquor store owner then thinks they're related and starts giving him half of everything he owns? That was a particularly awful bit of storytelling.

CHARACTERS

The one problem I had with this story was that your protagonist, simple as though he was, made too much sense! Everything he did was in character and helped flesh him out as the dimwitted victim of his wife and best friend's deceit. Come on, you can do worse than that... I want to see stuff out of character. Where's the brilliant insight or good deed that's a completely inappropriate action for his character???

DIALOGUE

Completely mediocre.

STRUCTURE

The chronology of this story actually made sense, and I could follow the narrative through from beginning to end. I guess I'll give you a pass on this one, just because the rest of the story is so terrible.

TECHNICAL

Your story was riddled with poorly written sentences and awful analogies. Nicely done!

OVERALL

Overall, I found your story to be disgracefully bad. I hope you're properly ashamed of yourself for writing this blight on your port!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your awful material in the future.

Until then, keep up the terrible work and keep writing (badly)!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **

883

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2782906

Review of What is your fantasy group love scene?

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Interesting poll! I certainly sympathize with your plight of trying to fit in all the different possible combinations of groups... there are certainly quite a few options and, from the look of things, plenty of people who prefer each option!

Great poll... keep up the good work!

884

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14 days may be credited.

#2782893

Review of Hair Question

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Interesting poll. Thanks for the opportunity to vote! I like the way you included plenty of options, sure to get a reaction out of just about any segment of the population, although, when looking at a poll, I always like to have the opposing point of view in the form of a "I don't care" option, for those that it genuinely doesn't matter to. Other than that, great job... keep up the good work!

885

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14 days may be credited.

#2782875

Review of It's A Small World: Where are you from?

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Great poll, Mars! I actually didn't realize there were so many WDC users from so many different places around the world... really quite incredible when you think about it! Anyway, this was a fun poll... keep up the good work and take care! Hope you're having a great weekend!

886

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14 days may be credited.

#2782872

Review of School

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Great poll! I like the way you offer many diverse options, for people in just about every stage of their education. It was well presented and clear... nice job and keep up the good work. Thanks for the opportunity to vote, rate and review your poll!

887

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14 days may be credited.

#2781887

Review of Hottest name

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

I definitely think Aidan is the "hottest" name... John and Anthony are a little too generic... and Mikey reminds me of a little kid. Aidan is the perfect blend of sophistication, uniqueness, and mystery. Interesting poll... keep up the good work and good luck with the results!

888

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14 days may be credited.

#2781878

Review of IQ poll

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I've taken a few IQ tests over the years, and my scores seem to average out somewhere in the 140's. The one suggestion I have for this poll is to maybe find an online IQ test and provide a link so that those users who have never taken one before can follow the link, take the test, and then report back with their scores.

Good luck with your poll!

889

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14 days may be credited.

#2781861

Review of Would you want a girl or boy first kid?

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Super Saiyan,

Interesting poll. Growing up, it was just me and my brother, so I think it'd be a nice change to have a little girl... although my wife and I want one of each!

One suggestion, though. I'd recommend putting a few other options in there, for users who may not necessarily care, or even want kids. Maybe a "it doesn't matter" and "i don't want any kids" option. More variety in poll choices usually results in a larger proportion of responses.

Just a suggestion. Keep up the good work and good luck with your poll!

890

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14 days may be credited.

#2781155

Review of The Unofficial Fantasy Contest (CLOSED)

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Messenger,

I've really enjoyed entering past rounds of this contest, and I just realized I never sent you a rating for your forum! I think this is a great contest, with a lot of opportunity for creativity... and which highlights, IMO, an underutilized genre in fantasy. Keep up the great work; I look forward to many rounds of future entries!

Have a great weekend!

891

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14 days may be credited.

#2781051

Review of Black Eyes

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

sj,

That definitely qualifies as a fishing tale that ends badly! Nice job with the description, characterization, and the setup, which led to a great reveal. Thanks for the opportunity to read such a fun and entertaining story. Keep up the good work and have a great weekend!

892

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14 days may be credited.

#2781041

Review of A Family Reunion, Southern Style

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

sj,

Nice work on this story. In particular, I thought you did a great job capturing both the humor in the diverse people and personalities at a family gathering, as well as with the description, which was fun, exciting and vivid. Good job... keep it up and keep writing!

893

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2781038

Review of Seedlings Chapter 1

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Okay, seriously, is there anything you can't do? Drama, comedy, science fiction... how about leaving some genres for the rest of us to excel at?

. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this was a fantastic piece. It was brilliantly conceived and wonderfully executed.

Keep up the great work... I always look forward to reading your stories.

Have a great weekend!

894

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14 days may be credited.

#2781032

Review of Writing Dot Com

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Ah, a WDC reference in a story! I can definitely identify with the protagonist in this story... you did a great job of capturing the writer's struggle with himself. Great characterization, especially for such a short piece. Keep up the great work and keep writing!

895

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14 days may be credited.

#2781028

Review of It you love someone...

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

If you weren't already on my favorite authors list, I would have added you for this story alone. It was masterfully crafted and incredibly moving. Reading your stories reminds me of what I aspire to accomplish with my own work. Thanks for allowing me to continue to read and review your stories!

Take care.

896

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14 days may be credited.

#2781019

Review of Innocence

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

This was a really charming story, Hyperiongate. I like the simplicity of the narrative, and the way you were able to so evocatively capture Emily's sense of childlike wonder. You did a great job with this piece, as you do with all your stories. Keep doing what you're doing... it works!

897

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14 days may be credited.

#2781011

Review of Anonymous

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hyperiongate,

Great job on this story. Having read both your short fiction like this piece, and your longer works like your winning Quotation Inspiration entry "Death of a hero"

, I can safely say that you are an incredibly talented writer, regardless of word count or subject matter. Keep up the great work; I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.

898

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14 days may be credited.

#2780998

Review of Daily Flash Fiction Challenge

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Captain C.,

This is such a great contest forum! Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you creating this wonderful place to challenge us to write short stories in short order! I've enjoyed my time both entering and judging the contest (filling in every now and then to give Arakun a break

), and look forward to continuing my involvement in such a great forum.

On a side note, I head you're back from Ireland. How was the trip? I've always wanted to go, but sadly, that remains on my "to do" list...

Take care and have a great weekend!

899

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14 days may be credited.

#2780997

Review of Paradise Cove Writing Challenge-On Hold

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

I can't believe I haven't rated this forum yet! I have to say, that this is one of the best erotica contests on WDC. You always come up with such great picture and text prompts... I always find myself challenged to come up with a story worthy of such great inspiration, which I think in turn pushes me to write better stories!

Thanks for such a wonderful contest... I look forward to many, many future rounds of entries.

Take care and have a great weekend!

900

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14 days may be credited.

#2780183

Review of Sketchbook

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi RwLe27

,

I'll be reviewing your entry for Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"

. This round's featured genre was horror, so I'm looking for well written stories that make me afraid to turn out the lights! I've enclosed some comments below; please note that they are my opinion only and, while my opinion is the one that matters for the purposes of judging this contest, your opinion as the author is more important when considering feedback. So please feel free to consider or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WIthout further ado:

CONCEPT

I like the legend you've created. It was interesting and entertaining to follow along with. Nice work!

STORY

The story was wonderfully detailed and engaging. You did a great job describing both the environment and events in the story, making it creepy and eerie and mysterious. I really enjoyed the way you presented this story!

CHARACTERS

Ethan was a great character. He was well developed, had great depth, and was sympathetic and easy to follow along with and root for, which made your ending all the more effective.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue in this story was minimal, but you did a solid job of including it and keeping the story moving along.

STRUCTURE

I thought you did well with the structure of this story. It was well presented and didn't lag anywhere... just an all-around well told story!

TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

OVERALL

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. I thought it was well written, wonderfully detailed, and fit the prompt nicely. Good work!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work... and thank you for entering the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"

! I hope to see more of your work in future rounds.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition" is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **