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Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/jeff/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/35
Review Requests: OFF
4,185 Public Reviews Given
4,314 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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Review of No Tears  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Ida_Matilda_Wright Help ,

This was a really touching piece. I'm really impressed by the emotion and impact you were able to create in so few words. Really well done! *Smile*

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

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Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Ida_Matilda_Wright Help ,

I thought this was a really wonderful story. It was sweet and funny and insightful all at the same time. You did a fantastic job of telling this story in a fun, original and completely engaging way. You're a very talented writer!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1431898 Unavailable **
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853
Review of Rekindling?  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Ida_Matilda_Wright Help ,

I really enjoyed reading this story. It was short and to the point, but was, at the same time, completely satisfying and engaging. Your protagonist was really well developed and the juxtaposition between her dream and her reality was fantastic. If there was one suggestion I have, it would be to develop the story a little more. It was great as is... but as a longer piece, I think it could be even more effective, detailing the fantasies with more intricate detail, which would even more greatly accentuate the difference between fantasy and reality once the truth is revealed. Other than that, though, I thought this was a really wonderful piece... a great character with a moving narrative, all in so few words!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1431898 Unavailable **
854
854
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Neko ♥ Away ,

Another great installment of your series! I do hope you'll continue working on this piece. I really think you did a wonderful job creating an intriguing, engaging tale that has well conceived and well written elements of fantasy, mythology, and drama. Keep up the good work; thanks for pointing me toward this great series of yours! *Bigsmile*
855
855
Review of Ch.2 The Oracle  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Neko ♥ Away ,

I apologize for the delay in this review... it's been exceptionally busy at work for the last week or so, and I haven't had a lot of time to devote to WDC. I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about your prize package, though, so I'm finishing up the last three reviews I owe you today, and will get that MB or awardicon out to you! *Smile*

I really enjoyed this installment of your series as well. I thought, like the other ones, it was well written, particularly in the descriptive details you use to set the scene. I like what you've done so far, and can't wait to read the last installment!

Have a great weekend!
856
856
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Jeanne Riggs Workman ,

Today, I'm reviewing your item for the "Invalid Item"  Buddy Review activity. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:


I really enjoyed this poem. I thought your rhyme scheme was excellent, and you did a really great job of creating wonderful, vivid imagery with so comparatively few words. From both this piece and the last one, it's clear that you have a gift for creating engaging, realistic characters that the reader can identify with. You also do a wonderful job of creating complex character emotions and sharing those with your audience in a way that's touching without being melodramatic, which is incredibly hard to do, especially in a short form like poetry.

Again, I'm really impressed with this piece, and your writing in general. I can't wait to revisit your port and read some more!


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1431898 Unavailable **
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857
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hi Jeanne Riggs Workman ,

Today, I'm reviewing your item for the "Invalid Item"  Buddy Review activity. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:


I thought this was a really wonderful piece. What I thought was particularly remarkable was the emotional resonance that you were able to instill in this piece, and the way your characters just leap off the page. It's clear, not just from the subject matter, but also the elegance and grace with which you write, what a personal and emotional issue this is for you. Whenever tragedy befalls us, it's easy to just give up... and the fact that you have a really inspiring outlook, as well as a moving, evocative piece of writing that will forever capture Lora's beauty... is really quite remarkable.

I'm very impressed, in every way, with this very touching and well crafted piece of writing.


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1431898 Unavailable **
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858
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Neko,

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter of your story. I thought it was really imaginative and original... your characters were all intriguing, and the legend really has me curious to see how everything turns out. I like the way you effortlessly weave fantasy elements into a dramatic narrative; I think it strengthens both elements to have them play off one another like they do.

Nice job... keep up the good work and thanks for allowing me to review your item!
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859
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Neko ♥ Away ,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today, in connection with winning my prize package in the Share & Share Alike Raffle. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:


CONCEPT

I'm a huge fan of legends and mythology. This prologue, with references to Chosen individuals and mysterious texts and tombs and all that good stuff, just makes me want to read more! I really enjoyed the premise of this prologue.


STORY

I thought the story was well written, although perhaps a little to expository for a prologue. My personal preferences when it comes to prologues are to have an exciting, action-oriented sequence to hook the reader, before they get into the first few chapters of the material, where all the exposition is laid out for them. In that sense, I was hoping for a little more from this prologue... but as it is, I thought it was very well written and interesting.


CHARACTERS

Both Lucifer and Kizuato are interesting characters that are easy to identify and follow along with. Their goals and objectives are clear, which helps the audience understand where they're coming from and where the story is about to go. Nicely done!


DIALOGUE

As discussed above, I felt like there was a little too much exposition for a prologue. A lot of the dialogue was expository and served to explain the backstory of the characters, and how they found themselves in their current situation. I would almost want to see the majority of this dialogue in the first chapter, rather than in the prologue. But again, that's just my personal preference.


STRUCTURE

This prologue was very well structured. It was straightforward and clear. You knew where the characters were, what they were doing, and where they were headed. This kind of direct, simple narrative serves your story well, because it doesn't over-complictate the issue, especially when you already have a complicated narrative (legend) to unfold!


TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Bigsmile*


OVERALL

Overall, I thought this was a strong opening to your story. I enjoyed the description and the detail you provided, and the anticipation of how this mythology is going to unfold has me excited to read more! Great start, Neko!


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **
860
860
Review of Moonlight  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this piece was really solid. Your opening stanza was incredibly descriptive and evocative... I really like the anthropomorphic element you give to the moonlight throughout this poem. It's really very well done.

Only one small typo on the last line:

"But the sun's like does him in."

Another great poem! I'm really enjoying your work... keep it up!
861
861
Review of As the Bell Tolls  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Unmei,

I thought this was another great poem. I love All Hallow's Eve and thought this piece did a great job of capturing the sentiment and spirit of the holiday. You have some great visual imagery in so few words, which is no easy feat! The only note I have is that that last line of the first stanza should read "doze" instead of "dose". Other than that, great job. Keep up the good work!
862
862
Review of Welcome Home  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Unmei,

I thought you did a really great job with this poem. I was really touched by the recognition you give the soldiers, regardless of the outcome of their service. It was a very well constructed piece... the repetition of the same line at the beginning and end of each stanza was a great way to reinforce the sentiment of this piece.

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Really well done! Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your poem!
863
863
Review of ANONYMOUS RATERS  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi SHERRI GIBSON ,

I stopped by your port after seeing your name listed as the Images In Ink Member Spotlight for this week. I had a chance to read this item and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:


Another great piece, Sherri! I certainly agree with you, to an extent. I do think there are certain circumstances where an anonymous review is warranted... for example, if the person reviewing the material doesn't want their status on the site to influence the content of their review. There are some situations where the presence of staff, or senior moderators, or even moderators can be intimidating for other users. I know that when I first joined the site, I thought those ranked as moderators and higher (because of their title), were users not to be challenged or questioned or disagreed with. So in a situation like that (i.e. a high-ranking WDC user reviewing a low-ranking or new user), I can see how an anonymous review could be helpful in getting the new user to focus on the content of the review, rather than who's doing the reviewing.

That said, I think the far more prevalent use of the "anonymous" review is, as you said, when someone wants to be overtly critical, counterproductive, or otherwise wishes to negatively contribute to an item while hiding behind the mask of anonymity. I completely agree that those people are cowardly... if you're going to have an opinion (especially a negative one), have the courage and the integrity to stand up and stand by your comments.

I think your last sentence pretty much sums things up. Before giving an anonymous review, as yourself why you're giving it. Is it for a legitimate reason (like trying to preserve the integrity of your review)... or to hide your identity and shy away from any consequences or accountability for your actions? One of those, I think, is an acceptable use of the "anonymous" function... and probably what this site had in mind. But far too many people see it as a way to escape reproach and as a license to abuse other users.

What a great, thought-provoking article! *Smile*


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!
864
864
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi SHERRI GIBSON ,

I stopped by your port after seeing your name listed as the Images In Ink Member Spotlight for this week. I had a chance to read this item and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:


I thought this was a wonderful piece. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, for all the reasons you mention above. For me, Halloween is all about letting loose and having some fun. It's a free pass to pretend to be someone else... to be a little silly... or even just to give into your emotions and let yourself be scared by a horror movie or a frightening tale. As much as I love more "serious" holidays like Christmas or the Fourth of July, I love the whimsical and fanciful nature of Halloween.

Not to mention that it's fun to dress up and come up with a creative costume for a holiday party! *Laugh*

Thanks for bringing some much-needed recognition to a wonderful holiday. Now if only we could get a day off of work for it! *Bigsmile*


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!
865
865
Review of Secret Appetite  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hyperiongate,

Nice story, once again. You've got a great way of creating compelling characters and wrapping them up in an engaging narrative, all in only a few words. I wish I had some comments or suggestions for improvement... but can never think of any. *Smile*

Keep up the good work! It's been a pleasure reading your work this week!
866
866
Review of The Other Team  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Sam,

Nice job on this story. I really like the twist at the end, and the anticipation of the big reveal really gets your reader's imagination working overtime! The subject matter is great, and your characters are well drawn and interesting.

Keep up the good work!
867
867
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I like all types of horror (psychological, gory, erotic, etc.), but what universally makes for good horror, in my opinion is the atmosphere and tone of the piece. It has to be written in a dark, moody tone to get me into the mindset to appreciate the horrific elements of the tale. Good characterization is also a must, but the atmosphere is what's most important to me.
868
868
Review of Chapter Length  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
I think 5 to 10 pages is good for the length of a chapter. For me, it's a matter of breaking up the narrative and giving the reader a place to stop. Personally, I'm usually reading in fits and spurts (when I'm on the train, waiting for my lunch order, etc.), rather than in large uninterrupted blocks of time. I like to have a sense of accomplishment and a definitive place to stop when I break from my reading, and a chapter break is a perfect place to accomplish that. So with shorter chapters, it's easier to finish something up, and then break... rather than a 30 or 40 page chapter which may take anywhere from 20-40 minutes to finish at the point where I need to put it down.
869
869
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great story! This was a fun and entertaining piece, with wonderful characterization and description. The fruit fight was brilliant, and the last line was a perfect end (or cliffhanger, rather) to an entertaining, enjoyable story.

Thanks for your entry!
870
870
Review of A life well lived  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hyperiongate,

I really like the way you transitioned between the two time periods in the story, and created a really great juxtaposition of events. IMO, that's what made this story work so well in terms of everything from characterization to narrative structure. Really great job. Keep up the good work!
871
871
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Great twist ending to a well told story... seems to be your stock and trade, Hyperiongate! And robbers are certainly bad customers! I really enjoyed this story, as I do all of your stories.

Keep up the good work and thanks for your continued support of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge!
872
872
Review of Young Love  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great pickup line! This was exactly what I was thinking of when I came up with the prompt... an original, creative pickup line that just didn't work very well. *Wink* Great setting and execution around the prompt.

You never disappoint with your stories... another great job!
873
873
Review of Sweet Pea  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hyperiongate,

Great story! I really enjoyed the way you presented the story, particularly the last line, which was wonderfully well written. As usual, you've got a great blend of drama, style, and humor in your piece, which creates wonderful, entertaining tales. Keep up the good work!
874
874
Review of The Good Life  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
What can I say? Another great entry from you. I thought this was a really touching story, and you definitely explored the prompt in a different and interesting way. It's interesting that of the three entries today, none of them were about actually winning the actual lottery (as we know it)! *Laugh*

Great job today; I look forward to more entries from you as I guest judge this week!

Take care.
875
875
Review of *Fate*  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
I definitely believe in fate, although I also think that people have some control over their own fate, if that makes any sense. I think there's a certain amount of "planned randomness" that you could call fate - chance meetings, lucky breaks, etc. ... but I also think that there's a human element involved that either allows us to perceive these events more or less often. Thus, if someone is looking for those events, they're going to be far more likely to run into someone they know while on vacation, or find a connection that others might not perceive... compared to the person who isn't looking for those kinds of connections and, as a result, won't see them as often.

In my opinion, it's all a matter of perspective.

My two cents anyway... thanks for the thought-provoking poll!
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