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4,185 Public Reviews Given
4,314 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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901
901
Review of No More  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Jack Kirk ,

I'll be reviewing your entry for Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition" . This round's featured genre was horror, so I'm looking for well written stories that make me afraid to turn out the lights! I've enclosed some comments below; please note that they are my opinion only and, while my opinion is the one that matters for the purposes of judging this contest, your opinion as the author is more important when considering feedback. So please feel free to consider or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WIthout further ado:


CONCEPT

I thought you did a good job with the concept to this story. The horror came from a realistic, human situation, rather than from a supernatural or psychological source, which I think makes this piece interesting and even a little more frightening, since it could very well happen to anyone!


STORY

The story was well presented and I liked the conversational style of your writing. It was short, to the point, and effective.


CHARACTERS

The characters really weren't established or developed in this story. With the extra space in the word count requirement for this contest, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more time devoted to the development of your characters, so the audience can even better relate to them and the trials and tribulations of the story.


DIALOGUE

The dialogue worked, although it felt a little stiff at times. I'd recommend a quick polish, going through and just tweaking the dialogue to make it sound a little more natural.


STRUCTURE

The structure of the story worked overall. It was well presented and effective.


TECHNICAL

I would strongly recommend you break the story up a little bit in terms of paragraphs. As one large block of text, it was difficult to follow along with, and at times felt like a run-on... not because of the sentences themselves, but because with only one long paragraph, the reader doesn't have an opportunity to break and separate the concepts and events in your story. I'd recommend a few paragraph breaks, even in a short story like this one.


OVERALL

Overall, I thought you did a good job coming up with a creative, interesting take on the prompt. I think the execution could be a little better, but I definitely like what you've come up with so far.


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work... and thank you for entering the "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! I hope to see more of your work in future rounds.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!


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Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction"  and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

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902
902
Review of The Changed Woman  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
JackJack,

I thought this was a strong piece of writing. I really like the way you captured the protagonist's emotions and inner thoughts as they relate to the subject of the story, and you did a good job of creating a sustainable tone for the piece. Keep up the good work!
903
903
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spongebob Squarepants,

I thought this was a really sweet, touching story. In just a few short words you were able to get your reader to identify with both characters, and care for them. Great job creating a well structured, enjoyable, touching story!
904
904
Review of My Twin  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nakmeister,

Really good job on this story. This is a tough competition, and I think you did a really solid job. No repeated words that I could find... just a well-written, entertaining story. Keep up the good work and keep writing. And good luck in the contest!
905
905
Review of Innermost  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
nemea,

Good job on this story! This contest is always a challenging one, and I think you came up with a great piece for it. I didn't pick up on any repeated words and the story itself was fun and interesting and entertaining. Keep up the good work!
906
906
Review of One Hundred Words  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice job with this story krichtig! Writing a story with no repeating words is a tough challenge, and it looks like you succeeded! I didn't spot any repeated words, and the story itself was interesting, descriptive and fun to follow along with. Good work! Keep it up and keep writing!
907
907
Review of Lights Out  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sinthe,

Nice job on this story. I thought it was descriptive, and atmospheric, and that you did a great job of setting the tone for the piece. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... keep up the good work and keep writing!

Take care.
908
908
Review of Live or Die  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Teddy,

I enjoyed reading this piece. I thought it was well written and had a great message to it. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work.

All the best to you.
909
909
Review of Relativity  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hyperiongate,

Fantastic story! This was a really sweet, touching piece... and the fact that you were able to pull it off in under 300 words makes it all the more impressive! Your characterization and description, in particular, were wonderful. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
910
910
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dr. Taher,

Looks like Alice may not be cut out to be a chorus girl after all! I thought you did a great job with the prompt and captured a memorable moment in the life of an aspiring chorus girl. Nice job... keep up the good work and good luck in the contest!
911
911
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Erlyn,

Nice job on this piece. I thought you did a wonderful job with the imagery and the vivid description... and the whole concept behind this item is wonderful. Writing can definitely be a sensual experience, and I think you captured that emotion and aspect of the craft remarkably well.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!
912
912
Review of The Dialogue 500  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Bill,

Just realized I haven't reviewed your great contest yet! The Dialogue 500 is a great challenge for writers of all levels... we can all improve our dialogue, and dialogue can really mean the difference between a good story and a great story. I know I haven't entered many of the recent rounds, but I'm hoping to make a comeback! *Smile*

In the meantime, keep up the great work!
913
913
Review of Absolute Horror  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey Stephen,

Don't think I've ever had a chance to stop by and rate your forums, but I just wanted to let you know what a great job you're doing with this Absolute Write community and all the stuff you're doing to bring together horror writers. Awesome job!

I also wanted to mention that my "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  is featuring the horror genre this month, so if you (or any of the Absolute Horror disciples) want to enter for a chance to win some decent prizes, please spread the word!

Hope you have a great weekend.

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **
914
914
Review of Thief!  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hyperiongate,

Wow, what a great story! I really liked your use of description and really effective characterization... and particularly the creative, unique way that you interpreted the prompt. This was a really sweet, wonderful story that's going to be hard to beat!

By the way... it's official... you've been added to my list of favorite authors. *Smile*

Take care.
915
915
Review of Outside  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Live Fast or Die Never,

I thought this was a really well written story. It was detailed, descriptive, and evocative, without overly burdening the reader. Every part of this story worked well, and the emotional throughline was particularly well done. Keep up the good work!
916
916
Review of First Hunt  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
New Uncle NotFrodo,

I enjoyed the description in this story. I think you did a particularly good job of establishing the characters' background and the setting. Although the story ended a little abruptly for my tastes, I still think it was a good, solid tale. Keep up the good work!
917
917
Review of Pride  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
midnight shadow,

This was a very touching story. I like the characterization and the way you presented your story, although I think a little editing could be done in terms of grammar and spelling to make the story even stronger. Still, it was nicely written and a great story. Keep up the good work!
918
918
Review of A to Z  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
twistedcreamer,

I enjoyed reading your story. I thought you did a good job of capturing the relationship between your two characters and exploring it, although I was hoping for a little more character development and narrative. Only one typo I found:

"We both had bad home lives so we were destined for each other."

Other than that, nice job!
919
919
Review of cry me a river...  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
booktale,

Nice job on this poem. I like the way it was simply presented and effective, all in only a few words. No spelling or grammatical errors; just a solid piece. Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
920
920
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Tenebrae,

Good work with this poem. I thought you did a great job of creating a simple, elegant piece that really captured the emotion of your subject well. No errors that I could find; just an enjoyable, entertaining piece. Nice job!

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  starts on May 1st! Vote for next month's featured genre in the "Featured Genre Poll" !

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews! Accepting entries through the 30th!
921
921
Review of Post Op  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
momomo,

I really liked your poem. I thought you did a great job with the imagery and description, and overall created a very effective piece in only a few short words. Nice job and keep up the good work!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work!

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  starts on May 1st! Vote for next month's featured genre in the "Featured Genre Poll" !

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews! Accepting entries through the 30th!
922
922
Review of Death of a hero  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Hyperiongate,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today, and thought I'd send a review along with my rating. Please keep in mind that these are my own opinions only, and that you, the author, are free to disregard anything you don't agree with:


CONCEPT

I really liked the concept of this story. You did a great job of setting up a situation that would allow for a lot of conflict, both physical and emotional. The concept was a great execution of the prompt.


STORY

The story was great. You did a wonderful job of creating an engaging narrative and keeping it interesting all the way through. In particular, the idea of a kid wanting to get beer, and then having that desire push him into conflicting situations was really great.


CHARACTERS

Without a doubt, your characters were one of the best elements to this piece. Each one was incredibly well drawn, interesting, and unique. Your protagonist is beautifully developed and his struggle between being a kid and finding an adult moral compass is a very touching journey. Your portrayal of Leon is delicate and sensitive, and the supporting characters are all uniquely developed and original.


DIALOGUE

The dialogue is a great addition to the story, creating an effective means of both moving the narrative forward and developing character. Nice job!


STRUCTURE

The structure works really well for this story. It's clearly set up, developed and resolved, without a lot of wasted time or getting bogged down with unnecessary description.


TECHNICAL

Other than the characters, the best part about this story was the quality of the writing. It was fluid, elegant, and, in many places, very funny in the way you presented something.


OVERALL

Overall, I'm really impressed with the quality of this story. It was a wonderfully well-written and very touching piece. I feel confident saying that this is going to be a tough story to beat in the "Quotation Inspiration", and if all your stories are this great, you're going to do very well in my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" as well! *Smile*


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item! I hope to read your work again soon.

Take care,


** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Three of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  is currently OPEN!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews!
923
923
Review of Jealousy  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Thayamax,

Nice job on this story! It was well written, original, and engaging. I thought you did a great job of setting up a surprise ending, and your description was great. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... keep up the good work!
924
924
Review of Sentimentality  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
nothing.i.remember,

I like the beginning of your story. I thought you set it up really well, and your attention to detail and description really set everything up. However, the ending threw me a little. I wasn't quite sure why he wouldn't let her open the box if there's just a rose in there. What was his motivation for making her wait... and wait until the point where, presumably years later, he died without ever telling her she should open the box?

Other than that, I enjoyed this story and thought it was well-written. Keep up the good work!
925
925
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Spidey,

Great job on this logo. It's simple, but also very intricate and detailed. There are a lot of sigs that appear very "busy", which I think is what makes the simplicity of yours stand out. Great job with this logo... keep up the good work!

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction Competition"  starts on May 1st! Vote for next month's featured genre in the "Featured Genre Poll" !

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge"  and win prizes for your reviews! Accepting entries through the 30th!
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