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4,187 Public Reviews Given
4,316 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1051
1051
Review of A special evening  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Fred,

This was a great little story to read. It's very difficult to create meaningful, entertaining twists in short fiction, especially this short, but you did a great job of giving the reader something unexpected at the end of the story. Nice job!
1052
1052
Review of Reconciliation  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Quill,

I enjoyed reading this story. I thought you did a great job with the imagery and setting the scene. The line at the end was great, a nice little twist to this story. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find; just an all around entertaining read.

Keep up the good work!
1053
1053
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Gypsyqueen,

I enjoyed reading this short piece and hope that you continue the story. I enjoyed the characterization and the way you established the story, in particular. I'd be interested to read more of your take on this particular aspect of the Dracula mythology.
1054
1054
Review of Surprise!  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Pod,

I enjoyed reading this story and thought you did a good job with the description, although I'm a little confused at how the main character found himself in a house full of other people (or vice versa) without knowing it.

Other than that, it was a fun read.

All the best to you.
1055
1055
Review of Malan Manor  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Luthien7,

Nice job describing Emma's character in this story. It's short, but also accomplishes the task of introducing us to Emma and explaining who she is as a character. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

Nice job... keep up the good work!
1056
1056
Review of Death  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Boo,

This was a fun story to read. I like the simplicity of the piece and the almost objective approach to describing her predicament. I would have liked a little more explanation of how she found herself in this situation, but it was a solid story, regardless.

Nice work!
1057
1057
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Lou,

This was a fun story to read. I wish there were a little more description of the effects of the candy (and the aftermath), but it was an enjoyable read nevertheless. Nice job and keep up the good work!

Thanks for letting me read and review.

Take care.
1058
1058
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (2.0)
Tcox0710,

I like the sentiment behind your story, but think it could have been a little better structured. In particular, the spelling and the grammar kind of fall apart toward the end of the story, and I think some greater detail would be helpful in establishing the truly important part of the story, which is that your brother dressed up like Michael Myers, tried to scare you, and got in trouble. You've only got three short sentence devoted to that part of the story, while more than twice that space is spent detailing the background of watching the Halloween marathon.

If you halved the time spent on the backstory and doubled the time spent on the actual prank, I think you'd have a more successful story.

Hope this helps. Thanks for letting me read and review. Keep up the good work!
1059
1059
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
QS(DW),

I enjoyed reading your story. I like the idea behind it, and I thought that, as a whole, the three sentences told a complete and satisfying short story... but the sentences themselves seemed a little awkward. The first sentence, in particular, seemed like it was trying to fit too much information into it, and was therefore a little awkward to read.

However, I still really enjoyed reading your story.

Nice work!
1060
1060
Review of Soul For Sale  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
J.A. Buxton,

I thought this was a wonderfully creative story. The idea of bidding over a soul was a great way of combining religion and technology... a combination that never even occurred to me! Really nice job on creating an inventive, entertaining story.
1061
1061
Review of Take Out  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Pennywise,

I enjoyed reading your entry for this round of the contest. I like that you approached this story as a dialogue, and the ending was great. I think this is an all around solid story and I certainly don't envy the judges in this round!

Good luck in the contest!
1062
1062
Review of 1mm tall  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (2.0)
Gotrunks,

I like the idea of waking up suddenly only 1mm tall, but there were a lot of inherent logic flaws in this story... like how the character was able pick up and use a knife (which would have been a hundred times his size), or where the lever came from that he used to get the milk onto the table.

I like the simplicity of the piece (struggling to do an everyday task when you're miniaturized), but felt it could be better developed if the character we a little larger (maybe six inches rather than 1mm), and the character's relation to his world were more clearly defined (i.e. how he gets around and what he uses).

Good idea, though.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work.
1063
1063
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Kiana,

I thought this was an interesting, insightful piece. I only wish that you had written more and elaborated on your thoughts. Still, what you've already written down was well crafted and kept my interest. Nice work; thanks for allowing me to read and review!
1064
1064
Review of New Shoes  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
L12a,

Nice work on this story. You did a great job of showing us both sides of the issues... both the desire to buy something new... and the reluctance to spend egregious amounts of money. I thought this was a very well structured piece that worked well.

Nice job!
1065
1065
Review of Snow White  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Audubon,

I like this take on a classic tale. Snow White has been done many different ways before, and your approach felt fresh and exciting. You structured this story very well and your phrasing was excellent. This was an all around fun, entertaining story to read.

Nice job!
1066
1066
Review of In A Dark Room  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Shanna,

Good job with this story. I enjoyed reading it and thought it was very well written. You did a great job with the description and the imagery. In only a few words, you were able to create an ominous, disturbing tale. Nicely done!

Keep up the good work!
1067
1067
Review of Tea for One  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
IdaLin,

I enjoyed reading this story. You did a great job of describing the progression of events. The ending was a bit predictable, but it was an otherwise solid story and that was a great deal of fun to read.

Nice job... keep up the good work!!!
1068
1068
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Helen,

Nice job with this story. I enjoyed reading it and thought you did a great job creating vivid imagery in so few words. I particularly liked the simple, yet effective ending. Good job... keep writing and keep up the good work!

All the best to you.
1069
1069
Review of Separation  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jamuna,

Nice job on this story. You did a great job of establishing the relationship and close bond between the protagonist and his or her beloved dog. The twist at the end was nice and I really liked your structure in this story. Keep up the good work!
1070
1070
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (3.0)
hvancleef,

I enjoyed reading your story and thought it had a good sentiment to it, but felt that it could have been developed a little more. The style felt a little bit too objective for the subject matter; I think a more emphatic style that either takes the point of view of the kids or their father would help put this story in better perspective.

Hope this helps.
1071
1071
Review of The Conversation  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Stormy,

Nice job with this short story... I really liked the twist at the end and thought it was a fun, entertaining, and unexpected way to end the story. You did a great job of telling a complete, engaging story in just a few short words. Keep up the good work!
1072
1072
Review of The Way Forward  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
NickiD89,

This was a fantastic story! You did a really great job of setting up the story and keeping your audience guessing. There were a million ways this story could have gone, and you managed to tell the version that was natural, progressive, and completely satisfying up until the ending.

Your character development and structure were top notch and I can't think of much else to say other than that it was an incredibly entertaining read.

Nice job! Stay tuned for the winners, and thanks for entering my contest!

- SoCalScribe
1073
1073
Review of Youth's Insanity  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Whatsername,

Thank you for entering my contest! I enjoyed reading your story and thought you did a great job with the dialogue. I really like your approach to making the story appear as if part of a conversation, rather than a traditional narrative story. You did a really good job of taking the reader through the events of the story, integrating both a recollection of what happened with the actions that were presently occurring.

I would have liked to have seen a little more detail, though. The narrator of the story goes through a lot information, telling us that the character in question went to a party, got drunk, made out with a boy, danced on a table, yelled at her friend (the narrator), got in a fight with another girl, and then presumably lost her virginity. All that was summarized in the span of about 250 words... and with the word limit on this contest, I had hoped you would have gone into more detail and created a more vivid image in the reader's mind about the events... really made us feel like we were there as the events were recounted, rather than just hearing a summation of the night's craziness.

I really liked the style of your story, but felt like it could have been developed a little more to give the reader a more involved experience.

Thanks for entering my contest and sharing your work! Stay tuned for the winners!

- SoCalScribe
1074
1074
Review of Gone again  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Becks,

Nice job on this story. I like the story and you did a good job of presenting it. I would have liked to have seen a little more clarity and detail about the "men behind [you]" (assuming they're cops), but other than that, really nice work.

Only one typo I noticed:

"I'll watch my temper but it was too late for that."
1075
1075
Review of The Debt  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Amber Jane,

This was a very fun story to read. I really enjoyed your attention to detail, and the description you've infused your story with. I didn't spot and grammatical or spelling errors... just an all-around good job!

Keep up the good work!!!
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