Jeff's (jeff) Reviews

Review Requests: OFF

4,621 Public Reviews Given

4,750 Total Reviews Given

Review Style

I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.

I'm good at...

Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.

Favorite Genres

I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.

1151

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#2796500

Review of Getting On With My Day

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Hi Jeanne Riggs Workman

,

Today, I'm reviewing your item for the "Invalid Item"

Buddy Review activity. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

I thought this was a really wonderful piece. What I thought was particularly remarkable was the emotional resonance that you were able to instill in this piece, and the way your characters just leap off the page. It's clear, not just from the subject matter, but also the elegance and grace with which you write, what a personal and emotional issue this is for you. Whenever tragedy befalls us, it's easy to just give up... and the fact that you have a really inspiring outlook, as well as a moving, evocative piece of writing that will forever capture Lora's beauty... is really quite remarkable.

I'm very impressed, in every way, with this very touching and well crafted piece of writing.

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing, Buddy!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1431898 Unavailable **

1152

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#2793641

Review of Ch.1 The Dream of Reality

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Neko,

I really enjoyed reading this first chapter of your story. I thought it was really imaginative and original... your characters were all intriguing, and the legend really has me curious to see how everything turns out. I like the way you effortlessly weave fantasy elements into a dramatic narrative; I think it strengthens both elements to have them play off one another like they do.

Nice job... keep up the good work and thanks for allowing me to review your item!

1153

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14 days may be credited.

#2793623

Review of Prologue: Lucifer's Glory

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.0)

Hi Neko ♥ Away

,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today, in connection with winning my prize package in the Share & Share Alike Raffle. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

I'm a huge fan of legends and mythology. This prologue, with references to Chosen individuals and mysterious texts and tombs and all that good stuff, just makes me want to read more! I really enjoyed the premise of this prologue.

STORY

I thought the story was well written, although perhaps a little to expository for a prologue. My personal preferences when it comes to prologues are to have an exciting, action-oriented sequence to hook the reader, before they get into the first few chapters of the material, where all the exposition is laid out for them. In that sense, I was hoping for a little more from this prologue... but as it is, I thought it was very well written and interesting.

CHARACTERS

Both Lucifer and Kizuato are interesting characters that are easy to identify and follow along with. Their goals and objectives are clear, which helps the audience understand where they're coming from and where the story is about to go. Nicely done!

DIALOGUE

As discussed above, I felt like there was a little too much exposition for a prologue. A lot of the dialogue was expository and served to explain the backstory of the characters, and how they found themselves in their current situation. I would almost want to see the majority of this dialogue in the first chapter, rather than in the prologue. But again, that's just my personal preference.

STRUCTURE

This prologue was very well structured. It was straightforward and clear. You knew where the characters were, what they were doing, and where they were headed. This kind of direct, simple narrative serves your story well, because it doesn't over-complictate the issue, especially when you already have a complicated narrative (legend) to unfold!

TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

OVERALL

Overall, I thought this was a strong opening to your story. I enjoyed the description and the detail you provided, and the anticipation of how this mythology is going to unfold has me excited to read more! Great start, Neko!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **

1154

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14 days may be credited.

#2793602

Review of Moonlight

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

I thought this piece was really solid. Your opening stanza was incredibly descriptive and evocative... I really like the anthropomorphic element you give to the moonlight throughout this poem. It's really very well done.

Only one small typo on the last line:

"But the sun's like does him in."

Another great poem! I'm really enjoying your work... keep it up!

1155

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14 days may be credited.

#2793598

Review of As the Bell Tolls

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Unmei,

I thought this was another great poem. I love All Hallow's Eve and thought this piece did a great job of capturing the sentiment and spirit of the holiday. You have some great visual imagery in so few words, which is no easy feat! The only note I have is that that last line of the first stanza should read "doze" instead of "dose". Other than that, great job. Keep up the good work!

1156

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14 days may be credited.

#2793595

Review of Welcome Home

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Unmei,

I thought you did a really great job with this poem. I was really touched by the recognition you give the soldiers, regardless of the outcome of their service. It was a very well constructed piece... the repetition of the same line at the beginning and end of each stanza was a great way to reinforce the sentiment of this piece.

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Really well done! Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your poem!

1157

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14 days may be credited.

#2790714

Review of ANONYMOUS RATERS

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi SHERRI GIBSON

,

I stopped by your port after seeing your name listed as the Images In Ink Member Spotlight for this week. I had a chance to read this item and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

Another great piece, Sherri! I certainly agree with you, to an extent. I do think there are certain circumstances where an anonymous review is warranted... for example, if the person reviewing the material doesn't want their status on the site to influence the content of their review. There are some situations where the presence of staff, or senior moderators, or even moderators can be intimidating for other users. I know that when I first joined the site, I thought those ranked as moderators and higher (because of their title), were users not to be challenged or questioned or disagreed with. So in a situation like that (i.e. a high-ranking WDC user reviewing a low-ranking or new user), I can see how an anonymous review could be helpful in getting the new user to focus on the content of the review, rather than who's doing the reviewing.

That said, I think the far more prevalent use of the "anonymous" review is, as you said, when someone wants to be overtly critical, counterproductive, or otherwise wishes to negatively contribute to an item while hiding behind the mask of anonymity. I completely agree that those people are cowardly... if you're going to have an opinion (especially a negative one), have the courage and the integrity to stand up and stand by your comments.

I think your last sentence pretty much sums things up. Before giving an anonymous review, as yourself why you're giving it. Is it for a legitimate reason (like trying to preserve the integrity of your review)... or to hide your identity and shy away from any consequences or accountability for your actions? One of those, I think, is an acceptable use of the "anonymous" function... and probably what this site had in mind. But far too many people see it as a way to escape reproach and as a license to abuse other users.

What a great, thought-provoking article!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

1158

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2790705

Review of WHAT HALLOWEEN MEANS TO ME

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (5.0)

Hi SHERRI GIBSON

,

I stopped by your port after seeing your name listed as the Images In Ink Member Spotlight for this week. I had a chance to read this item and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

I thought this was a wonderful piece. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays, for all the reasons you mention above. For me, Halloween is all about letting loose and having some fun. It's a free pass to pretend to be someone else... to be a little silly... or even just to give into your emotions and let yourself be scared by a horror movie or a frightening tale. As much as I love more "serious" holidays like Christmas or the Fourth of July, I love the whimsical and fanciful nature of Halloween.

Not to mention that it's fun to dress up and come up with a creative costume for a holiday party!

Thanks for bringing some much-needed recognition to a wonderful holiday. Now if only we could get a day off of work for it!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

1159

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#2789906

Review of Secret Appetite

Review by Jeff

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Hyperiongate,

Nice story, once again. You've got a great way of creating compelling characters and wrapping them up in an engaging narrative, all in only a few words. I wish I had some comments or suggestions for improvement... but can never think of any.

Keep up the good work! It's been a pleasure reading your work this week!

1160

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14 days may be credited.

#2789897

Review of The Other Team

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Sam,

Nice job on this story. I really like the twist at the end, and the anticipation of the big reveal really gets your reader's imagination working overtime! The subject matter is great, and your characters are well drawn and interesting.

Keep up the good work!

1161

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14 days may be credited.

#2789678

Review of What makes a Good Horror Story?

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

I like all types of horror (psychological, gory, erotic, etc.), but what universally makes for good horror, in my opinion is the atmosphere and tone of the piece. It has to be written in a dark, moody tone to get me into the mindset to appreciate the horrific elements of the tale. Good characterization is also a must, but the atmosphere is what's most important to me.

1162

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14 days may be credited.

#2789645

Review of Chapter Length

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I think 5 to 10 pages is good for the length of a chapter. For me, it's a matter of breaking up the narrative and giving the reader a place to stop. Personally, I'm usually reading in fits and spurts (when I'm on the train, waiting for my lunch order, etc.), rather than in large uninterrupted blocks of time. I like to have a sense of accomplishment and a definitive place to stop when I break from my reading, and a chapter break is a perfect place to accomplish that. So with shorter chapters, it's easier to finish something up, and then break... rather than a 30 or 40 page chapter which may take anywhere from 20-40 minutes to finish at the point where I need to put it down.

1163

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14 days may be credited.

#2788915

Review of Supermarket Encounter

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

What a great story! This was a fun and entertaining piece, with wonderful characterization and description. The fruit fight was brilliant, and the last line was a perfect end (or cliffhanger, rather) to an entertaining, enjoyable story.

Thanks for your entry!

1164

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14 days may be credited.

#2788168

Review of A life well lived

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Hyperiongate,

I really like the way you transitioned between the two time periods in the story, and created a really great juxtaposition of events. IMO, that's what made this story work so well in terms of everything from characterization to narrative structure. Really great job. Keep up the good work!

1165

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14 days may be credited.

#2787375

Review of The ultimate discount

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Great twist ending to a well told story... seems to be your stock and trade, Hyperiongate! And robbers are certainly bad customers! I really enjoyed this story, as I do all of your stories.

Keep up the good work and thanks for your continued support of the Daily Flash Fiction Challenge!

1166

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14 days may be credited.

#2786385

Review of Young Love

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

What a great pickup line! This was exactly what I was thinking of when I came up with the prompt... an original, creative pickup line that just didn't work very well.

Great setting and execution around the prompt.

You never disappoint with your stories... another great job!

1167

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14 days may be credited.

#2785243

Review of Sweet Pea

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Hyperiongate,

Great story! I really enjoyed the way you presented the story, particularly the last line, which was wonderfully well written. As usual, you've got a great blend of drama, style, and humor in your piece, which creates wonderful, entertaining tales. Keep up the good work!

1168

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14 days may be credited.

#2784273

Review of The Good Life

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

What can I say? Another great entry from you. I thought this was a really touching story, and you definitely explored the prompt in a different and interesting way. It's interesting that of the three entries today, none of them were about actually winning the actual lottery (as we know it)!

Great job today; I look forward to more entries from you as I guest judge this week!

Take care.

1169

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14 days may be credited.

#2784162

Review of *Fate*

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I definitely believe in fate, although I also think that people have some control over their own fate, if that makes any sense. I think there's a certain amount of "planned randomness" that you could call fate - chance meetings, lucky breaks, etc. ... but I also think that there's a human element involved that either allows us to perceive these events more or less often. Thus, if someone is looking for those events, they're going to be far more likely to run into someone they know while on vacation, or find a connection that others might not perceive... compared to the person who isn't looking for those kinds of connections and, as a result, won't see them as often.

In my opinion, it's all a matter of perspective.

My two cents anyway... thanks for the thought-provoking poll!

1170

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14 days may be credited.

#2784156

Review of I believe in......

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Interesting poll... I think you've offered some interesting options here and come up with a poll that really offers the opportunity for a lot of people with different viewpoints to weigh in on the issue. It's a clear, concise, and interesting poll.

Thanks for the opportunity to vote... have a great week!

1171

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14 days may be credited.

#2784151

Review of Milk

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (4.5)

I'm not sure I love milk enough to create my own rituals in its honor

, but I definitely love to drink milk, especially with desserts. You can't beat milk and cookies!

Thanks for the interesting poll! Take care and have a great week!

1172

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14 days may be credited.

#2784144

Review of Do You Rate Everything You Read?

Review by Jeff

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Great poll, Kimmery! For my part, I rate and review everything I read. I really try not to start reading something unless I intend to finish it... and I can't finish reading an item without offering the writer a rating and some thoughts to let him or her know that I read their item and what I thought of it.

Thanks for the interesting poll... keep up the good work!

1173

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14 days may be credited.

#2784141

Review of Why do you write?

Review by Jeff

Rated: ASR

| (4.5)

Great idea for this poll... for my part, I usually write to relieve stress, which means that I'm mostly writing to escape reality. There are times when I write to express feelings or for the fun of it, but I most often find myself writing to relax after a long day, or to stimulate the imagination... hence the vote for "escaping reality".

1174

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14 days may be credited.

#2783830

Review of Her Gilded Prison

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi S. L. Britton

,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

I like the concept of this piece. I thought you did a great job coming up with a compelling scenario that really hooks your reader from the get-go. Nice job!

STORY

Your story was really well presented and well told. I was completely engrossed in the characters and story from the start, and you did a great job of keeping both the psychological and physical tension high all the way through the narrative.

CHARACTERS

Your characters were really well developed and interesting. In particular, Alessa was very sympathetic and her inner thought process was fantastic. Marco was a perfect villain, and Bianca worked well as the bargaining chip that Marco always exploits Alessa with.

DIALOGUE

The dialogue worked well for this story. It helped flesh the story out and move the narrative along at a good pace. Nicely done!

STRUCTURE

The structure of this story was excellent. It was clear, straightforward, and moved along well... no parts that dragged or didn't work... everything worked together to create a very compelling narrative.

TECHNICAL

Only one typo that I noticed:

"He had been a college{/b] man..."

OVERALL

Overall, I thought this was a great contest entry. It was exciting and tense and emotional and everything else that makes for an engaging, compelling story. Great job and good luck in this round of the contest!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **

1175

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14 days may be credited.

#2783766

Review of The Refuge

Review by Jeff

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Hi JACE

,

I had the opportunity to check out your item today and thought I would enclose a review below, for your consideration. Please keep in mind that the following review only reflects my opinions... and that as the author, your opinion is ultimately the only one that matters. Please consider or disregard the following comments as you see fit:

CONCEPT

You've got a solid concept here. Your main characters relationship with her family only serves to strengthen the bond she has with Ricky which, in my opinion, is what makes this such a strong story.

STORY

I like the way you introduce Ricky's character early on, and then revisit some of the other hardships your protagonist had undergone, only to show her returning to Ricky's care and protection. The progression, and constant proof of Ricky's affections for her, that make this such a moving story.

CHARACTERS

All of the characters are very well drawn and interesting. The protagonist and Ricky are great, but you also did a solid job developing her parents, and showing them as contrasting, selfish characters that really highlight Ricky's goodness.

DIALOGUE

There was minimal dialogue in this story, but it worked well.

STRUCTURE

As stated above, the real strength of this piece is in your ability to shift between what's happening to your protagonist, and how Ricky was there to comfort her. That dynamic, after setting up the story, is what carries it through, until the very end, when you wrap things up very nicely. Good work!

TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find.

OVERALL

Overall, I thought you did a great job with this story. It was moving, and touching, and very well written. Good luck in this round of the Sinister Kisses contest!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your item. I look forward to hopefully reading more of your material in the future.

Until then, keep up the good work and keep writing!

Best regards,

- S o C a l S c r i b e

Please check out my "2008 Short Fiction Competition" ! Entries accepted through the 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review Challenge" and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash Fiction" and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **