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Review Requests: OFF
4,610 Public Reviews Given
4,739 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1176
1176
Review of Writing Dot Com  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ah, a WDC reference in a story! I can definitely identify with the protagonist in this story... you did a great job of capturing the writer's struggle with himself. Great characterization, especially for such a short piece. Keep up the great work and keep writing!
1177
1177
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
If you weren't already on my favorite authors list, I would have added you for this story alone. It was masterfully crafted and incredibly moving. Reading your stories reminds me of what I aspire to accomplish with my own work. Thanks for allowing me to continue to read and review your stories!

Take care.
1178
1178
Review of Innocence  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a really charming story, Hyperiongate. I like the simplicity of the narrative, and the way you were able to so evocatively capture Emily's sense of childlike wonder. You did a great job with this piece, as you do with all your stories. Keep doing what you're doing... it works! *Bigsmile*
1179
1179
Review of Anonymous  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hyperiongate,

Great job on this story. Having read both your short fiction like this piece, and your longer works like your winning Quotation Inspiration entry "Death of a heroOpen in new Window., I can safely say that you are an incredibly talented writer, regardless of word count or subject matter. Keep up the great work; I look forward to reading more of your stories in the future.
1180
1180
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Captain C.,

This is such a great contest forum! Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you creating this wonderful place to challenge us to write short stories in short order! I've enjoyed my time both entering and judging the contest (filling in every now and then to give Arakun a break *Smile*), and look forward to continuing my involvement in such a great forum.

On a side note, I head you're back from Ireland. How was the trip? I've always wanted to go, but sadly, that remains on my "to do" list...

Take care and have a great weekend!
1181
1181
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I can't believe I haven't rated this forum yet! I have to say, that this is one of the best erotica contests on WDC. You always come up with such great picture and text prompts... I always find myself challenged to come up with a story worthy of such great inspiration, which I think in turn pushes me to write better stories! *Bigsmile*

Thanks for such a wonderful contest... I look forward to many, many future rounds of entries.

Take care and have a great weekend!
1182
1182
Review of Sketchbook  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi RwLe27 Author Icon,

I'll be reviewing your entry for Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window.. This round's featured genre was horror, so I'm looking for well written stories that make me afraid to turn out the lights! I've enclosed some comments below; please note that they are my opinion only and, while my opinion is the one that matters for the purposes of judging this contest, your opinion as the author is more important when considering feedback. So please feel free to consider or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WIthout further ado:


CONCEPT

I like the legend you've created. It was interesting and entertaining to follow along with. Nice work!


STORY

The story was wonderfully detailed and engaging. You did a great job describing both the environment and events in the story, making it creepy and eerie and mysterious. I really enjoyed the way you presented this story!


CHARACTERS

Ethan was a great character. He was well developed, had great depth, and was sympathetic and easy to follow along with and root for, which made your ending all the more effective.


DIALOGUE

The dialogue in this story was minimal, but you did a solid job of including it and keeping the story moving along.


STRUCTURE

I thought you did well with the structure of this story. It was well presented and didn't lag anywhere... just an all-around well told story!


TECHNICAL

No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. *Bigsmile*


OVERALL

Overall, I really enjoyed this story. I thought it was well written, wonderfully detailed, and fit the prompt nicely. Good work!


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work... and thank you for entering the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window.! I hope to see more of your work in future rounds.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!


** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window. is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review ChallengeOpen in new Window. and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash FictionOpen in new Window. and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **
1183
1183
Review of No More  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi deathtol,

I'll be reviewing your entry for Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window.. This round's featured genre was horror, so I'm looking for well written stories that make me afraid to turn out the lights! I've enclosed some comments below; please note that they are my opinion only and, while my opinion is the one that matters for the purposes of judging this contest, your opinion as the author is more important when considering feedback. So please feel free to consider or disregard any of my comments as you see fit.

WIthout further ado:


CONCEPT

I thought you did a good job with the concept to this story. The horror came from a realistic, human situation, rather than from a supernatural or psychological source, which I think makes this piece interesting and even a little more frightening, since it could very well happen to anyone!


STORY

The story was well presented and I liked the conversational style of your writing. It was short, to the point, and effective.


CHARACTERS

The characters really weren't established or developed in this story. With the extra space in the word count requirement for this contest, I would have liked to have seen a little bit more time devoted to the development of your characters, so the audience can even better relate to them and the trials and tribulations of the story.


DIALOGUE

The dialogue worked, although it felt a little stiff at times. I'd recommend a quick polish, going through and just tweaking the dialogue to make it sound a little more natural.


STRUCTURE

The structure of the story worked overall. It was well presented and effective.


TECHNICAL

I would strongly recommend you break the story up a little bit in terms of paragraphs. As one large block of text, it was difficult to follow along with, and at times felt like a run-on... not because of the sentences themselves, but because with only one long paragraph, the reader doesn't have an opportunity to break and separate the concepts and events in your story. I'd recommend a few paragraph breaks, even in a short story like this one.


OVERALL

Overall, I thought you did a good job coming up with a creative, interesting take on the prompt. I think the execution could be a little better, but I definitely like what you've come up with so far.


Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work... and thank you for entering the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window.! I hope to see more of your work in future rounds.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!


** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window. is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review ChallengeOpen in new Window. and win prizes for your reviews!

And if you're really bold, try "Crimes Against Flash FictionOpen in new Window. and win GPs for writing badly! Running weekly from Monday to Sunday night!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **
1184
1184
Review of The Changed Woman  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
JackJack,

I thought this was a strong piece of writing. I really like the way you captured the protagonist's emotions and inner thoughts as they relate to the subject of the story, and you did a good job of creating a sustainable tone for the piece. Keep up the good work!
1185
1185
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Spongebob Squarepants,

I thought this was a really sweet, touching story. In just a few short words you were able to get your reader to identify with both characters, and care for them. Great job creating a well structured, enjoyable, touching story!
1186
1186
Review of My Twin  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nakmeister,

Really good job on this story. This is a tough competition, and I think you did a really solid job. No repeated words that I could find... just a well-written, entertaining story. Keep up the good work and keep writing. And good luck in the contest!
1187
1187
Review of Innermost  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
nemea,

Good job on this story! This contest is always a challenging one, and I think you came up with a great piece for it. I didn't pick up on any repeated words and the story itself was fun and interesting and entertaining. Keep up the good work!
1188
1188
Review of One Hundred Words  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Nice job with this story krichtig! Writing a story with no repeating words is a tough challenge, and it looks like you succeeded! I didn't spot any repeated words, and the story itself was interesting, descriptive and fun to follow along with. Good work! Keep it up and keep writing!
1189
1189
Review of Lights Out  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sinthe,

Nice job on this story. I thought it was descriptive, and atmospheric, and that you did a great job of setting the tone for the piece. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... keep up the good work and keep writing!

Take care.
1190
1190
Review of Live or Die  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Teddy,

I enjoyed reading this piece. I thought it was well written and had a great message to it. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Keep up the good work and keep writing!

Thanks for the opportunity to read and review your work.

All the best to you.
1191
1191
Review of Relativity  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hyperiongate,

Fantastic story! This was a really sweet, touching piece... and the fact that you were able to pull it off in under 300 words makes it all the more impressive! Your characterization and description, in particular, were wonderful. Keep up the good work and keep writing!
1192
1192
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Dr. Taher,

Looks like Alice may not be cut out to be a chorus girl after all! I thought you did a great job with the prompt and captured a memorable moment in the life of an aspiring chorus girl. Nice job... keep up the good work and good luck in the contest!
1193
1193
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Erlyn,

Nice job on this piece. I thought you did a wonderful job with the imagery and the vivid description... and the whole concept behind this item is wonderful. Writing can definitely be a sensual experience, and I think you captured that emotion and aspect of the craft remarkably well.

Keep up the good work and keep writing!
1194
1194
Review of The Dialogue 500  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hi Bill,

Just realized I haven't reviewed your great contest yet! The Dialogue 500 is a great challenge for writers of all levels... we can all improve our dialogue, and dialogue can really mean the difference between a good story and a great story. I know I haven't entered many of the recent rounds, but I'm hoping to make a comeback! *Smile*

In the meantime, keep up the great work!
1195
1195
Review of Absolute Horror  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey Stephen,

Don't think I've ever had a chance to stop by and rate your forums, but I just wanted to let you know what a great job you're doing with this Absolute Write community and all the stuff you're doing to bring together horror writers. Awesome job!

I also wanted to mention that my "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window. is featuring the horror genre this month, so if you (or any of the Absolute Horror disciples) want to enter for a chance to win some decent prizes, please spread the word!

Hope you have a great weekend.

** Image ID #1407255 Unavailable **
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.

Round Four of the "2008 Short Fiction CompetitionOpen in new Window. is now open! Entries accepted through May 21st!

Or, if reading is more your style, try your hand at "SoCalScribe's Review ChallengeOpen in new Window. and win prizes for your reviews!

** Image ID #1302036 Unavailable **
1196
1196
Review of Thief!  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hyperiongate,

Wow, what a great story! I really liked your use of description and really effective characterization... and particularly the creative, unique way that you interpreted the prompt. This was a really sweet, wonderful story that's going to be hard to beat!

By the way... it's official... you've been added to my list of favorite authors. *Smile*

Take care.
1197
1197
Review of Outside  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Live Fast or Die Never,

I thought this was a really well written story. It was detailed, descriptive, and evocative, without overly burdening the reader. Every part of this story worked well, and the emotional throughline was particularly well done. Keep up the good work!
1198
1198
Review of First Hunt  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
New Uncle NotFrodo,

I enjoyed the description in this story. I think you did a particularly good job of establishing the characters' background and the setting. Although the story ended a little abruptly for my tastes, I still think it was a good, solid tale. Keep up the good work!
1199
1199
Review of Pride  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.0)
midnight shadow,

This was a very touching story. I like the characterization and the way you presented your story, although I think a little editing could be done in terms of grammar and spelling to make the story even stronger. Still, it was nicely written and a great story. Keep up the good work!
1200
1200
Review of A to Z  Open in new Window.
Review by Jeff Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
twistedcreamer,

I enjoyed reading your story. I thought you did a good job of capturing the relationship between your two characters and exploring it, although I was hoping for a little more character development and narrative. Only one typo I found:

"We both had bad home lives so we were destined for each other."

Other than that, nice job!
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