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Review Requests: OFF
4,191 Public Reviews Given
4,320 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1176
1176
Review of Just Build It Up  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Fyn,

I really liked your lyrics... I could definitely picture a country song as I was reading them! I don't have much experience with lyrics, so all I know as far as a critique is whether I can hear a song in my head... and I heard country, which was apparently your goal... so mission accomplished!

Thanks for the opportunity to review you work.

Take care.
1177
1177
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Quietfire,

Thanks for the opportunity to review your short story. I really liked this piece, as you were able to infuse it was a great feeling of nostalgia, as well as a passion for writing. Your intent came through loud and clear, and I thought it was a very nice piece.

Good work!
1178
1178
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Flogamocker,

What a great poem! Maybe it's because I work for lawyers, but I loved the humor in your poem and thought it was completely spot on. Thanks for such an entertaining and insightful look at the current condition of our society. Keep up the good work!

Take care.
1179
1179
Review of Sierra Sojourn  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Tim,

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work. I enjoyed your poem, particularly the imagery you create with so few words. Reading your poem, I almost felt like I was on the train with the rest of the passengers, so I just wanted to say, nice job! Keep up the good work!
1180
1180
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Created4writing,

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work. And thanks for sharing your thoughts of what the cross means to you. I enjoy studying religious symbolism and really appreciated learning something about what this particular symbol means to you.

Keep up the good work!
1181
1181
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (2.0)
Peanuts,

I would suggest sitting down and outlining what you want to accomplish in each of the books. It's easy to get lost in the material when you've got hundreds and hundreds (if not thousands) of pages to fill. Having a good template to work from will help you get all your ideas down into a workable format.

Hope this helps.
1182
1182
Review of Old Year's Eve  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
SueVN,

I like the brevity and the sentiment in this piece. The idea of the old year embodied as a person walking along the road is a great idea. The one suggestion I have would be to more definitively let the audience know what the purpose of the piece is. While an enjoyable read, I had a hard time figuring out what the point of it was, and what was accomplished at the end of it. I would suggest adding a few lines at the end to wrap it up and either explain what happens to the characters, or what's learned by the characters.

Hope this helps.

Thanks for the opportunity to review your work!
1183
1183
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
Arakun,

What a great, twisted story! I really enjoyed reading this, but feel like the ending undercut the effectiveness of what happened earlier. For me, the really disturbing idea is that Annie thinks the characters in the show are real, and therefore goes to the set to take matters into her own hands. To have the guests be invited as part of a publicity events (with the actors calling them and everything)... plus the part with Detective White's mother at the end... actually undercuts just how crazy Annie is. I feel like Annie's insanity would be more effective if she were the only one in the story like that, and if she came up with the whole being invited to the wedding thing on her own... just a janitor from Omaha who is so lost in her own world that she 100% invents her own reality around it.

Thank you for the opportunity to review your work!

Take care.
1184
1184
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Ben,

I had a chance to read the first episode of your series. I like the overall concept, but I would recommend cutting down on the monologuing, particular Angel's. Also, you have a tendency to have very long scenes with a lot of dialogue, without much happening visually. I would recommend infusing some visual action and breaking up the long blocks of dialogue in order to make your teleplays read easier. Have you worked out a series bible yet? I work at a production company in the motion picture industry and can tell you that's probably the first thing they're going to ask for, even before they ask to see your pilot script.

Best of luck with your series!
1185
1185
Review of Emily's Tree  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Elizabeth,

I was really touched by your story. You crafted a beautiful letter and it left a lasting impression on me, both with the way you've written it, and the imagery that it evokes. I just wanted to send you a note to thank you for the opportunity to review your work.

All the best.
1186
1186
Review of The Puppeteer  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Coal,

Thanks for the opportunity to read your material. I really liked this piece; you really effectively conveyed the tone of the piece, and created some really memorable imagery in the piece. I particularly like the ending, where as Death overcomes the narrator, the line is cut off, which, to me, is the perfect ending to this work.

Keep up the good work and thanks for the entertaining read!
1187
1187
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Martin,

Okay, I just have to say thanks for all of these poems. I'm at work right now and killing time by reviewing material and just wanted you to know that your material has managed to thoroughly cheer me up on what would otherwise be just another ordinary day.

What I really appreciate about your work is that you're able to bring the same cadence and flow to each of your poems, no matter what the subject matter.

I'm very impressed! Keep up the good work!
1188
1188
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Askpaddy,

Thanks for the opportunity to review your work. I enjoyed the way this story begins in one place and ends up in another. We initially think the play is real, then we step back and realize it's something else entirely. That was a very effective technique, and the discrepancy between the actors' personalities on and off the screen created a wonderful counterbalance.

Nice work!

Take care.
1189
1189
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (5.0)
Martin,

While the subject matter of your first poem appealed to me the most, I think this one is the best written. In this one, you've managed to capture a cadence and a rhythm to every line, each of which flows effortlessly into the next. I have no suggestions for this one, which is reflected in the 5.0 rating... the first one I've ever given.

Thanks for writing such entertaining, intriguing poetry!
1190
1190
Review of Bankruptcy  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Martin,

I loved this poem. Maybe it's because I currently find myself in a position to identify with the subject matter, but I laughed out loud and thoroughly enjoyed this piece.

The only stanza that really didn't seem to read smoothly for me was the fifth that end in the rhyming couplet "assistance/resistance". I think it might just be a case of too many syllables, but I'm not a poet, so I'm afraid I'm at a loss for how to tweak it in just the right way.

At any rate, thank you for the opportunity to read your poetry... I enjoyed it immensely.

All the best.
1191
1191
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi J.A. Buxton,

I read your letter for the "Dear Me: Official Contest" and wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed it. What I really appreciated was the self-deprecating introduction, acknowledging that many of us never accomplish what we set out to each New Year.

You also set realistic goals for yourself and built upon things you had already started, making your goals for 2008 not only entertaining to read, but left me believing you could achieve them.

Thanks for sharing your work. Best of luck with the contest, and best of luck with your resolutions!

Take care.
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