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Review Requests: OFF
4,191 Public Reviews Given
4,320 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I believe in constructive criticism and honesty. I can adapt my review style to fit the kind of feedback an author is looking for (e.g., developmental suggestions, fine-tuning, proofreading, etc.), but will always try to be as encouraging and helpful as possible.
I'm good at...
Plotting, characterization, dialogue, structure/pacing, and professional considerations. I can also do serviceable technical editing/proofreading, but I'm much better with developmental/creative feedback.
Favorite Genres
I read almost everything. I particularly love genre fiction (mystery/thriller and science fiction/fantasy especially) and nonfiction of all kinds.
Public Reviews
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1101
1101
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Legerdemain,

I really liked this dialogue. You did a great job of creating a believable and concise exchange between the two characters... I'm a big fan of The Dialogue 500 and thought this was a great entry for it. Great job and keep up the good work!

Take care.
1102
1102
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Moriarty,

This was a really touching story. You did a great job of setting the scene and establishing a connection with both the character and the setting, which strengthened the last moments of your story even more. I think you missed a couple of words ("...he could almost (smell the?) smoke from a campfire"), but other than that, the piece is wonderful.

Nicely done!
1103
1103
Review of Revenge  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (2.5)
Nish,

I enjoyed reading your story, and I have a couple of suggestions that could hopefully improve your story.

First and foremost, I would break up the exposition in the second paragraph. The way it's all clumped together not only feels forced, but it also derails the narrative of your story and, in the case of stories like these where there's some tension and suspense hanging over it, the last thing you want to do is derail the narrative.

Also, keep a lookout for spelling and grammatical errors ("escaped through it seemed to go on forever"; "holding the rope on the door's underside"; etc.). Varying the sentence structure would also create a more memorable read. As it is, the story often repeats the same words and phrases, like "careful not to make a sound".

Finally, I'd recommend finishing the story. As it is, it feels incomplete. When he lifts the hatch to make sure it's safe, what happens? Does someone grab him? Is the coast clear? I'd suggest one last sentence to round out the piece and tell your audience what happened to the character they've been following.

Good effort... keep at it!

Take care.
1104
1104
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Destinae,

I liked the sentiment of this piece. If there's one suggestion I'd make, it's to build up the ending a little. As it is, the story feels like it abruptly goes from Jamie being concerned to Max feeling confident that she'll be all right. I know that with flash fiction competitions it's tough to find the space (especially when you have to work in a set of words!), but I think rounding out the ending would really benefit the piece.

Nicely done. Keep up the good work!
1105
1105
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
C.A. Miller,

This was a really charming little story. I like the lesson of friendship that appears at the end; it's a great message. If I could suggest one thing, it would be to mention the peanuts toward the beginning of the story. When the peanut activity occurs so close to the discovery of the cause of his hearing loss, the payoff is telegraphed. By explaining it earlier, I think you'd have a more satisfactory ending, because your reader would recall the details that were at the beginning of the story.

Good work!
1106
1106
Review of Death is a Lady  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Andrew Michaels,

I liked your setup to this story, although I wish there were a little more backstory to explain the situation. I know this was for a flash fiction competition, so I'm not sure what the word limit was, but if you had the room, I would have liked to have seen an explanation for why someone was creating a "world killer virus" in the first place... and how Geni was recruited or employed to destroy it.

Other than that, it was a really fun, short piece.
1107
1107
Review of Pammy’s Project  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nanapockets,

I had a great time reading this story. I really enjoyed the sentiment and child-like sense of wonder you were able to instill in the piece. If there's one suggestion I have, it would be to adjust the tone in the last two paragraphs... up until that point, Pammy was overjoyed at having a pumpkin man... it seemed like the natural reaction (in keeping with her sense of awe and wonderment) would be to be happy that the pumpkin man was dancing and waving at her. I think the ending either needs to have Pammy more excited to see the pumpkin man alive... or have the pumpkin man appear more ominous in order to scare her away.

Other than that, nice job! Keep up the good work!
1108
1108
Review of The Edge  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Sam N. Yago,

Good job on this dialogue. I like the fact that the guy stood up for his colleague and didn't allow the other guy to smear her reputation just because she didn't get the promotion. If there's one suggestion I would make, it would be to revise the ending... as it is, it goes from a really tense, almost argumentative point to "we're buddied and let's go get some lunch" a little too abruptly. Maybe tone down the last bits of the argument slightly before going into the lunch bit.

Good luck in the contest!
1109
1109
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Martin,

I thought this was a very clever (and funny) poem. I really like the imagery in this piece, and your rhyming scheme was great. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find, just an all around great, solid job.

Keep up the good work!
1110
1110
Review of A Weaker Vessel  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Chelsea,

I enjoyed reading your poem. You do a great job with metaphorical imagery and your writing style is relaxed yet sophisticated. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find. Overall, a really nice job!

Take care and keep writing!!!
1111
1111
Review of Loving You  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Seduction,

Nice job! I enjoyed reading this short piece and really like the tone and emotion you were going for. One small typo: "I cannot breathe without smelling the sweet scent of your skin." Other than that, great job!

Keep up the good work!
1112
1112
Review of Catching Twilight  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Prudent Lee,

I really like the tone you set with this piece. It's wonderfully simple and relaxed, and created a very evocative image in my head as a read it. Really nice job! No spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... keep up the good work!
1113
1113
Review of gray  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Waitbabylove,

I enjoyed reading this work of yours. I like the topic and the way in which you explored it. No spelling or grammatical errors that I could tell; just an all around entertaining read. Keep up the good work and thanks for letting me read and review!
1114
1114
Review of One Speck  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
SmileImHere,

Nice job on the emotion and imagery you present in this poem. I enjoyed reading this piece and think you did a really great job. One typo, though... "We hold our shame and the morbid knowing of what we are to lose". Otherwise, good work
1115
1115
Review of Why This Lust?  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Damascus,

I really enjoyed reading this piece of yours. You did a great job exploring the extent of the emotion and I really enjoyed your straightforward, simple presentation. This was a really solid work; thanks for the opportunity to read and review!
1116
1116
Review of nightly ritual  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Chaotic Kittie,

I thought this was a really moving piece. In just a few words, you were able to make me really get a good glimpse at what the poem's subject is going through. It's very well written, and with no grammar or spelling errors that I could find.

Nice job... keep up the good work!
1117
1117
Review of The Sea  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Shemaira,

Nice job with this poem. I really enjoyed reading it and thought you did a great job with the imagery in this piece. There were no spelling or grammatical errors that I could find... overall it was a very solid job. Nice work... keep writing!
1118
1118
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
C.T.,

What I like about this poem is your ability to really capture the experience you're writing about. I almost felt like I was there with you as I read it. No spelling or grammar errors that I could find, so all around good job... keep up the good work!
1119
1119
Review of Indu Iskari  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
jamesgrosskopp,

Thanks for sharing your poetry. I really enjoyed reading this piece, particularly for its subject matter, as I'm fascinated by eastern theology. I didn't notice any spelling or grammar errors, so keep up the good work and thanks again for allowing me to read and review!
1120
1120
Review of Music in his Ears  
Review by Jeff
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Astrid,

Good job on this poem. I really enjoyed reading it, particularly for the imagery you were able to instill with so few words. I couldn't spot any spelling or grammatical errors. Great job and keep up the good work!

Take care and thanks for allowing me to review.
1121
1121
Review of Gone  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Marieart,

This was a really great poem! I enjoyed reading this piece and thought you did a great job with the imagery and emotion in it. I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical errors and thought it was very well structured. Keep up the good work!
1122
1122
Review of Christian  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.5)
Mdstryker,

Nice job with this poem! I really enjoy reading your work and this is certainly no exception. You've got a unique voice and style to your writing. Keep up the good work, keep writing, and thanks for sharing!

Take care and, again, nice job!
1123
1123
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Armadillo,

Great poem! I love the subject matter and can see your passion for it. This was very well written and I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical errors. In the age of apathy, it's nice to see someone stand up for what they believe in. Nice work!
1124
1124
Review of Interrogation  
Review by Jeff
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Bentonar,

Good job on this story! I like your take on the material and enjoyed your writing style. I didn't notice any spelling or grammatical errors; overall a really nice job! Keep up the good work and take care.

Thanks for allowing me to read and review your work.
1125
1125
Review of Cloak of Love  
Review by Jeff
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sammy baby,

Nice job with the imagery in this poem. You did a really solid job of creating a vivid picture in the reader's mind. The simplicity of your piece was great, especially in contrast with the complication subject matter.

Overall, good job!
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