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3,160 Public Reviews Given
3,208 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
Casual for the most part. I will point out errors I see and offer suggested corrections. I like to focus on the content and formatting of the item. I love providing helpful comments and feedback that may improve the item if acted on.
I'm good at...
I like to provide suggestions to the author on things I see that may need a second look. I'm not afraid to do a little research to verify a poem's format, or the contents of a story (if requested).
Favorite Genres
Mystery, Horror, Sci-Fi, Comedy, and Suspense
Least Favorite Genres
Honestly, I will read anything if asked. I just prefer those listed above.
Favorite Item Types
Short stories, novellas, books (though a review of that may take days/weeks due to my schedule), Poetry of any format.
Least Favorite Item Types
I find non-structured poetry difficult to review, unless there is a short disclaimer about this non-structure that would help in understanding the reason it's in that particular format.
I will not review...
I'm not interested in Vore, In and Out's, Growing/Shrinking, or other items that are similar to one of these.
Public Reviews
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1126
1126
Review of Katie's Christmas  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Katrina,
My god, I'm sitting here with tears running down my cheeks. Somehow, many of your stories do this to me. Thank you for sharing, and trusting me like you have. This is a wonderful Christmas story, you make me wish I could be S C for someone. I did see a couple of small things you may want to look at..

1. Some of the parents were starting to line up in the car pool line. Some of the early buses were pulling into the lot. Starting two consecutive sentences with the same word detracts from the reading. try deleting 'some of' from the second sentence, it works fine if you ask me. :)

2. Katie looked up to see if anyone looked like they were watching, if anyone looked like they would know what was going on. The same comment from above here. Some of, two sentences in a row. Maybe, "Katie looked up to see if anyone looked like they were watching, or if anyone knew what was going on."

3. Once she finally got the boys calmed down enough to tuck into bed, they quietly read the Christmas before she cut out the lights. They quietly read the Christmas ,,, what? :)

Very well done, I loved this story!

Jim

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1127
1127
Review of Ugly Inside  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Dear Mr. Mistoffelees,

Please remember I am a writer, who, like yourself, is also reviewed by his peers; therefore, I know what it feels like! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

This is a nice short story here, but I fail to see how it can be called a poem of any kind. There are several detractors in the story that makes it a little difficult to fully enjoy, and you may want to edit this so it can receive the grades I'm sure you want it to get. Specifically:

1. I hate you, This belongs in quotation marks. Even though she's talking to herself, it needs to be in quotation marks.

2. I am more than this This too belongs in quotation marks.

3. sir ree. The correct spelling is sirree from what I've seen in other readings, but I'm not positive this is a word. It is fine to use slang words if your story uses them throughout, but it seems you tossed this in to be 'cute'.

4. Bueaty The correct spelling is beauty

5. The years, they go by, as they always do, and the bueaty starts to fade away, leaving her in doom. This sentence reads pretty rough. Here's a small suggestion on improving it. The years go by as they always do, the beauty starts to fade away; leaving her in doom.

6. She is just a broken shell now, a shattered image, useless to the world now. Delete the first 'now', it is not needed.

7. The world loved her tits and ass, The rest of the poem is very straightforward, making the use of these two words almost obscene. See if you can think of another way to say this, or a way to describe her beauty without using the word beauty.

Overall, a decent story. Nicely done.

And a personal WDC Anniversary from me.

Sum1

b}My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .{/b}
1128
1128
Review of Help?  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (2.5)
Dear YoungWriter,

Please remember I am a writer, who, like yourself, is also reviewed by his peers; therefore, I know what it feels like! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

You have a nice start to a story, and as you know, that's about it. I see pretty good potential in this if handled properly. Before I go any further, I do not mean to sound like I am lecturing you about how to write a story, but I will offer you some advice.
First and foremost, any story written has to have a nice start to capture the reader quickly, a middle where the story develops, characters come to the fore, we learn a lot about them and their background, then a conclusion. And somewhere in there, it's nice to have a climax to it all.
You are writing this from the first person view, and that can be daunting, but not all that hard. You just have to keep in mind your perspective, where you are, what's going on; is it happening today or in the past, and how far in the past. Example:

I’m in my last year of school, 18 years old, and living with the high school hottie, zak. He’s practically packed for medical school and same for me for law school. So we say our goodbyes promising to stay in touch knowing we never will then we go our separate ways.

Now I'll edit a little bit, offering 'my view' of how I'd word it.

At 18, I was in my last year of school and living with one of the most handsome boys in the school, Zak. We were inseperable during that year, but towards the end, we had to prepare for our life beyond school. At the end of the year, he busied himself getting packed for medical school, while I did the same in getting ready for law school. When everything was ready, we said our goodbyes, promising to stay in touch, all the while knowing we never do so. We then we go our separate ways, to an unknown future.

Can you see the difference? Your version is more like you are talking to someone, telling them what's going on as it happens, yet this had all happened in the past. All I did was change a few words here or there, (took the liberty of adding in a sentence or two to help the flow of the story), but I kept the story you created in place. This is what you need to do with the rest of the story. The biggest thing you need to do, is stay focused on the story, finish the rough draft, then get a friend to help you edit it until it is smooth.

I hope this helps you in your quest to finish this story.

Sum1

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1129
1129
Review of Hunting  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Jason,
Excellent story here! I don't usually read 'vampire' stuff, but then, this isn't the usual vampire story either. I didn't have a clue one was involved until you hit me with it! Well done. I especially liked the ending, with the paw prints heading to the cemetary.

Sum1
1130
1130
Review of The Last Kiss  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Madisyn,
Wow, what a powerful short story you wrote! For the most part, it is well written, with no easily seen grammatical errors. There are a couple of minor things you may want to look at to make this story even more powerful.

1. When you start someone talking, use a new paragraph. "I really wish I didn't have to,,," should be a new paragraph.

2. Use the Writing.com ML to indent the start of paragraphs to they stand out from the rest of the story.

3. Double space lines between paragraphs for ease of on line reading. Makes it easy on the eyes of someone reading the story on a computer screen.

4. Instead of using ... to provide a prounounced pause, use a semi-colon and periods. Shorten the lines in doing so, maybe like this.

Of course, I said yes, and I have kept my promise. He gave me my last kiss, then he got hit by a drunk driver who came out of nowhere and swerved into my garage right toward me. Before I could be hit, he pushed me out of the way and was instantly crushed by the car. I never kissed another guy again.

Overall though, well done.

Sum1

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1131
1131
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Dear Crickado,
Please remember I am a writer, who, like yourself, is also reviewed by his peers; therefore, I know what it feels like! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!
This is such a beautiful poem you've written here, asking God if he's aware of everything that is happening in the world. Your rhyme scheme is very good, with your rhythm doing almost as well. If I may be so bold as to offer a few suggestions, in the hope of improving this some.

1. Throughout the poem, you use the word 'tell', in fact, 11-12 times. Try to find other ways to say you're speaking to him. See if you can substitute 'speak to him', 'I talk of', etc. This will keep the reader much more interested, and make for a smoother flow/stronger poem.

2. I tell him about secret things to help the rhythm of the piece, maybe,, I tell him of my secrets


3. How I cheated, how I lied. Using the same word twice in such a short line detracts from the reading. Maybe,, How I've cheated and lied

4. And speak then of this evil world
Of what it needs, what it lacks

This seems a little off in the rhythm here, once again a word is used twice in the same line. I think the first line there is better as 'Speak of the evil in this world' (that way, 'and' is gotten rid of). The second line? Of what it needs and also lacks. This gets rid of the comma (pause) in the second line since the lines above don't have a pause.

5. I tell him of all the wantons
Aborting life just as it begins
But will they see the flames of hell?
Or were theirs just venial sins?

I would delete 'all' in the first line, and 'but' in the third.

6. And what about the faggots. The rest of this poem is so beautiful that the word 'faggots' stands out like a stab in the heart, and for this reader, almost ruined the poem. Can you think of a better way to word this? Maybe the last two lines of this verse could read,

And men who love men
That surely defines sin

7. I tell him how that murder Delete the word 'that'

I know that with all these comments and such that you might think I didn't like this poem. Quite the contrary; I think this is an excellent poem, with a few very minor things you (and only you, since you created it) may want to look at.

Overall, well done! And a personal Happy WDC Anniversary from me.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1132
1132
Review of The Hitchhiker  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Dear Ski-ster
Please remember I am a writer, who, like yourself, is also reviewed by his peers; therefore, I know what it feels like! I have only my humble opinion to offer; please take what you feel is helpful and disregard the rest. Only YOU know what is right for your writing!

This is a very interesting story you have here. The end reminds me of 'Ghost', but the images and story told remind me of any number of serial killers. The flow of the story was good, keeping the reader's interest throughout. There were a couple of minor grammatical errors, and if I may, I have a suggestion for it too.

1. Her forcing me to watch things much to impressionable for a young boy’s mind. Her forcing me to watch things much too impressionable

2. Suddenly, I realize; tonight I am the hunted, it is my death this time Suddenly I realize that tonight I am the hunted, it is my death this time. I think the original sentence was too forced, and didn't flow well (too many pauses caused by the comma's and semi-colon).

3. And if I may make a suggestion for your story,,, I think it would be a much stronger story if she spoke to him before he dies, and tells him how she was abused by her father as a child, and had ended up stabbing him to death. He'd realize that the tables were turned, and he was being killed by the same type of person he is(was). Then the demons come and take him away as you wrote. Heck, you could turn this into a much longer (if you wanted to of course), by centering this story in a city where the police force is working hard to find a serial killer. But a serial killer of a different type; one who kills men by stabbing them in the chest in the middle of a sex act, yet kills women by strangling them, never realizing that there are two serial killers doing this.

Please remember that comment three is just a suggestion, this is your story, edit it as you wish of course.

And a personal Happy WDC anniversary from me.

Sum1

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1133
1133
Review of Santa is real  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
J. P.
Santa is very real. It is amazing the kindness you find in people when you least expect it. This is well written, and conveys a message that people should heed year round, not just for the few weeks that surround Christmas. If I may make a couple of small recommendations:

1. This was the first year I was totally disabled and my wife spent most of her time driving me back and forth to multiple doctor's appointments I had every week. Add 'the' between to, and multiple, it helps it read better.

2. It had been really hard for us especially since I was always use to working two or more jobs and my wife had always worked. I think 'used' is the word people say, not use, when talking like this.

Overall though, well done!

Sum1

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1134
1134
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (3.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Lumix,
Please remember that I am just an author like yourself, and am only offering my opinions on your writing. It is your choice to either act on my comments, or ignore them; this is your work, I am not telling you what you have to do, only offering humble suggestions.

This is a nice poem about man's place in the world. It flows pretty well, but you lost me in a couple of places, and at least one sentence didn't make sense to me. A few things you may want to look at in this poem:

1. You used the word it's (or its) 9 times in this poem. Several times, it was used in the wrong context. For example, It's fights alone can make a wreck of all the homes of beasts. If you make it's a non-contraction, then it would read, It is fights alone can make a wreck of all the homes of beasts. In this context, it would be its. In using one word 9 times likes this in any type of poem, you run the danger of people becoming bored, then you've lost your reader. You may want to think of other words you can use in place of that one.

2. It breaks the cysts of all the beasts to cyst itself alone. Forgive me, but this line loses me, confuses me. I don't understand your use of the word cyst. The only cyst I know of, is a sore, a pimple like sore. So I'm lost as to why you used it.

3. It's social,wise, You need to add a space after the comma

It seems you were trying to be a little cute with this, and succeeded in part. I like what you're saying, I just know you can say it much better. :)

And, a personal Happy WDC Anniversary from me.

Sum1


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1135
1135
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Darkjoy,
Please remember than I am just an author like yourself, looking to become a better writer. What I offer you in this review are words of encouragement, and hopefully advice. These are my opinions, your choice is to either ignore, or edit based on my opinion.

This is a very nice poem, but also sad. Your poem brings images to eyes that I've not seen personally, and it's message is strong. On a personal note, if you have (or had) this disorder, I hope you've mastered it, and am functioning fine now. Your rhyme and rhythm here are very good making the poem an easy read. If I may offer a couple of suggestions:

This is a very well written poem, but using three to four words a second time in a such a short poem detracts from it. Examples: belly, pounds, pounds, behind, begin, leads(and leading so close to leads). Changing one of them would make this poem so much more powerful. If I may be so bold as to offer an idea for each.

The belly begins to rumble The stomach begins to rumble
One bite leads to another One bite, then yet another
Pounds begin to shed Pounds begin to shed
People begin to speak People start to speak (or vice versa)

Out of sight, behind the border
Yet, behind my happy smile
(those are the 2nd and 3rd using the word 'behind')

Maybe,

Out of sight, beyond the border
Yet, hidden in my happy smile

All in all though, well done! And a personal Happy WDC Anniversary from me.. :)

Sum1

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
1136
1136
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
LadyRyan,
What a nice Christmas love story! I'm a sap for them, always will be, even in my middle age. You wrote this very well, the flow kept me going throughout. There is only one line I'd recommend you change, just a little.

He got out of the car and went and opened the door for her.

Maybe revise this one just a little. If i may make a suggestion; He got out of the car, then walked around to her side to open the door for her.

Just seemed to read a little 'off' from the rest of the story is all.

Well done!

Sum1
1137
1137
Review of I get a leg!  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.0)
MrsVoekel,
Very cute! I loved the interaction between you and your daughter in this story. And the 'Million Watt Smile'? Met the prompt as well, just a shame you can't show that smile here in the story. And I would have done the same thing you did, call it a six, no matter what. Well done!

Sum1
1138
1138
Review of Lost  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Abby,
Such a broken heart described well in free flowing verse. What you say seems heartfelt, and you know we've all been there. The only real suggestion I have for this, is the line:

As you start to forget me, just another person that was in your life.

Can you find a way to make this a little shorter? Maybe add to it, yet at the same time, make it two lines, or delete a couple of words, and leave it as one line. It is just so much longer than every other line in the poem.

Well done though, nicely written!

Sum1
1139
1139
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Diane,
I love poems for children, I think it shows them that there's more to things that just text books. I've written one, and some day, it may become a book, once I learn how to puruse that avenue. Well done in this, it flows very well with no errors.

Jim
1140
1140
Review of Dancing Nowhere  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


Annie,
I like this poem, it is well written, conveying a message that everyone should consider. You rhyming and rhythm both work well within each verse, making this an easy poem to read and enjoy. Well done!

Sum1
1141
1141
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
K. Charles,
Quite a dilemma you're in, in this story. I liked the flow of it, and the control you felt. I am not sure what I'd do if I was in the same position. I did see a few things you may want to look at so this can get better grades:

1. I get to choose if she discover her sister today, next week or never. Discover should be plural

2. Wordlessly I embraced him clinging to his neck and inhaling the aroma of leather jacket, cigarette smoke aftershave and warmth. You need a comma after smoke, and aftershave.

3. Simply a child himself he has never been told that his father is in fact my step- father and he is not yet old enough to have worked it out. You need a comma after himself.

4. Perhaps not, I close the laptop as I cannot quite bear to look at her any more but nor can I close the window in which I discovered her. Delete the word but, make any more one word, and add a comma after it.
1142
1142
Review of Our little secret  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
MrsVoekel,
I love the twist at the end of this. Yet in a way, I was thinking that maybe he'd helped a friend out, and all she'd done was sleep on the couch very innocently, then left early in the morning, forgetting the purse. I should have read more into her remembering him showering in the middle of the night. Well written, I only saw one minor error.

1. but can this be out little secret

but can this be our little secret

Well done! I wish you luck in the contest.

Sum1
1143
1143
Review of If one day...  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
SNM,
What an nice poem! I love the repeated line at the start of each verse, modified just a little to help the poem progress. I think you about covered most common emotions someone may have, but what if,,,

If one day you find me thinking?

If one day you find me tense?

If one day, you find me,, well, find me,, :)

I would love to see more is all,, but I'd never try to tell you how to write your poetry,, :)

Jim
1144
1144
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (2.5)
Jessica,
Please understand that I'm providing you feedback to help both of us become better writers. This is a very cute scene from your play, portraying Amanda to be the prototypical blond cheerleader often used in movies. You did very well in her dialog with Death, you had me smiling throughout the read. But while I enjoyed reading your scene, it has quite a few things you'll want to look at and edit so it can get the grades it deserves from other reviewers. I am providing examples for each comment, but I am not showing you every error in this item.

1. Numerous sentences throughout the scene start with lower case letters. Examples:

scene starts: (May 5) with

if you ever have a encounter him you know what that should mean. If you ever have a encounter him you know what that should mean.

then we could date and he could leave her

she see's him in the corner of her eye Drop the apostrophe in see's.

have you ever had a manicure or pedicure?

you reek of old rotten eggs and a dead deer.

2. There are also many uses of capitalized words within a sentence. Examples:

Ditsy Cheerleader named Amanda ditsy cheerleader named Amanda

She is currently now on the Train She is currently now on the train.

Amanda the Cheerleader is Blasting Brittney spears in her ear while humming or singing the tunes to herself. In the background death is watching her ( the Audience can hear the Ominous music playing in the Background). Amanda the cheerleader is blasting Brittney Spears in her ear while humming or singing the tunes to herself. In the background Death is watching her (the Audience can hear the ominous music playing in the background).


3. In several cases, you stop one sentence with a period, then start another sentence without a space between the period and the next sentence.

the Audience can hear the Ominous music playing in the Background).Death starts to approach Amanda the Audience can hear the Ominous music playing in the Background). Death starts to approach Amanda



4. In all your dialog, I can't recall seeing quotation marks used to identify their speech.

5. In some cases, your grammar is wrong in word usage. Examples provided are, your instead of you're, then instead of than (I'm prettier than her), king instead of kind (I'm kind of hoping he'll ask me to the prom)

6. He comes for every person at sometime in their life's, with an hourglass in hand He comes for every person at sometime in their lives, with an hourglass in hand

You need to send this through a spell checker, as well as a grammar checker/thesaurus. It would take me too long to continue with this, and I have no desire to tear it apart, I'd rather you look at what I've pointed out, then go back to your item and edit it. As I said, I really liked the overall story here, but the grammatical errors make it difficult to rate very high. I look forward to re-reviewing this once you edit it.

Sum1

7. The letter i by itself is always capitalized.
1145
1145
Review of SOUNDS OF MORNING  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Justin,
What an amazing story, one that really deserves a much better grade than the four I'm giving it. It is a well told story of a young man's love for his family, and his immediate surroundings. His handicap has given him a special talent (or ability), and he uses it well. But what made this story a little hard to read through; was some of your sentences, ones that went on forever and ever. I have that same tendency too, but have learned to watch out for it. What helped me a lot, was reading 'The Sentence Amusement Park', a static item posted here on WDC. Great reading, something I recommend to anyone who really wants to improve their writing. Examples of run on sentences in your story:

1. In addition to my bed, dresser, desk and chair, posters of cars and rock stars occupying nearly every square inch of wall, a stereo tape and CD player, an ever-growing heap of dirty clothes: jeans, socks, underwear, t-shirts and sweatshirts-all of which are quite ordinary finds in any teenager's room; you couldn't help but wonder about the small round top dining table that stands by the window, or the green slate board that has now been rolled-to conserve space-behind the door, or the exercise machine that takes up too much space at the foot of my bed, or the sprawling array of medicine bottles that seem to challenge the integrity of the white parson's table upon which they weigh heavily. That's one paragraph in your story, and also, ONE sentence!

2. The water flowing through their rusting and partially blocked lead pipes doesn't stream along as fluently as it once did when they were bright shiny new, and hadn't suffered the insult caused by hundreds of thousands of gallons of mineral-laden hard water that over the years, drop by drop, laundry load by laundry load, flush after flush, has narrowed their once smooth interiors--like aging, hardening arteries narrowed by cholesterol plaque build-up, inexorably slowing the blood flow to a near trickle and causing strained clicking sounds at certain junctures.

It is run on sentences like this (and these aren't the only two) that caused me not to grade this story higher. Read through this carefully, and see if you can find how to shorten the overly long sentences. Break them in to three or four sentences, or delete a few words here and there (I'd rather see you break them up, your descriptions of his room, and life around him were wonderful). I love this story, and would gladly return to review it again, and change my grade if you edit it. Well Done!

Sum1
1146
1146
Review of Stuck  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Mystery,
This is very good, and very true. I am stuck now too, and know it. One so far away, (your number 2 sounds like), one one much closer, but we're a lot like best friends and more,,, As in your poem, I don't know which one I want to be with more. So very good there! Did you read my mind?? I can't think of anything to contribute that might make this a bit better, it's very good,,, well done!

Sum1
1147
1147
Review of My Final Frontier  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.0)
Jenny,
Very interesting, since the map in your pocket is the map of your heart, how is it that you don't know it? :) You created images in my mind of a heart hidden away from others, maybe afraid to be in love? Yet now you've opened your heart, and are either ready for love, or have fallen in love. Very nice! Well done.

Sum1
1148
1148
Review of The Quotal  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Andreas,
This is a very good story you've written. It has a bit of suspense to it as the reader wonders what the Quotal is, and how it kills people. You wrote this well, but I have to say, I thought it ended a little quickly (or abruptly). He killed it and walked away? I would think that at least he'd have taken it back to show the villagers. But it's your story,, not mine. :) I did see a couple of things that you may want to look at:

1. It was doubtfully he would even realize it was there until it was too late. The word you want is doubtful.

2. Siran put a tentative step forward and instantly felt his foot sliding into what had appeared to be solid earth. At first, this sentence befuddled me. I think you might want to put a little more explanation into it, because at first I didn't understand how his foot had slid into solid earth.

3. There was a deafening crack, the gun kicked back against his body, and a dark shape plummet to the ground in front of him. The word you want is plummeted.

Overall, well written, with a nice plot.

Sum1
1149
1149
Review of I AM  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Dreamin1,
Such a nice story here! You wrote this very well, bringing forth images each of us think of, but can't put into words. You did a good job painting those images too, very nice! You left me with a warm feeling throughout my being, thank you! Very well done!

Sum1
1150
1150
Review of The Lie  
Review by Sum1 Is Home!
Rated: E | (4.5)
Ibsy,
Wow, once in a while, a story or poem will really hit me just right, and this one did for the most part. Loved the dialogue, how you built it, you had me questioning the truthfulness of whatever it was the person was told, then you added in the twist. Well done! And Well Written!

Sum1
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