Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
This is a very powerful poem. Those of us who believe in Angels would have a hard time with the suffering and sorrow they endure in this poem.
Imagery
The imagery in this poem is raw, sad and in a strange way, destructive.
Meter
I found no issues with the meter of this piece.
Spelling
There were no spelling errors found.
Grammar & Punctuation
The grammar portion of this poem is fine. I do feel that the poem could use more punctuation. It would give the reader a pause before moving on the the next line.
Additional Comments
You have a great poem here. Write on my friend!
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
Pain and sorrow emanate from this poem in droves. The strong will survive but the weak shall falter. I know this pain. I have lived it.
Imagery
The images I saw with this poem showed me the good and the bad side of love. I saw the moments spent soaring and the moments spent weeping.
Meter
The meter of this poem is very good. It is well constructed and easy to read.
Spelling
There were no spelling errors found in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
The grammar and punctuation are well done.
Additional Comments
Very good writing here. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
It's not an easy thing to do when we realize as adults that we have to "grow up." I know this from experience. It takes a great amount of courage to stand up and be responsible for our actions.
Imagery
I have to say I didn't find much imagery in this poem. It concentrated more of the "self" that needed to make amends.
Meter
This poem has a good flow to it. I don't have any issues with the meter.
Spelling
There are no spelling errors in this piece.
Grammar & Punctuation
Grammar and punctuation are both error free as well.
Additional Comments
Growing up isn't fun when we are already adults but if we want our children to respect us, we have to. Thanks for sharing this poem. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
This is a very dark poem. If oozes with hate and contempt. I found it very unsettling but at the same time I was saddened.
Imagery
The imagery in this poem tore at my heart. To have your home referenced to as a "hole" is quite disconcerting. I could feel the pain the character was experiencing.
Meter
The meter of this poem is fine. The form you chose for it adds a dramatic flair.
Spelling
I didn't find any spelling errors in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
The grammar is good and there are no punctuation errors.
Additional Comments
A dark and sombre poem but good nonetheless. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
So many things in our lives we rely upon to give us gratification. When in actuality we are the only ones that are responsible for our destiny.
Imagery
The majestic beauty of the redwood is the heart of this poem. I have not had the pleasure of ever seeing one. The building mentioned in this piece pale in comparison.
Meter
I saw no problem here.
Spelling
There were no spelling errors in this piece.
Grammar & Punctuation
Grammar and punctuation are error free.
Additional Comments
An interesting poem and a good read. Thanks for sharing it and good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
The overall feel of this poem is very dark. When one is contemplating taking their own life, so many emotional and psychological changes are going on inside the body and mind; it's hard to think clearly.
Imagery
The only imagery I found in this piece was my own thoughts on how this act of sin would be committed.
Meter
The meter in this poem needs some work. The lines are rough with the added rhyme because they don't flow properly. Check the syllable count to ensure a less "bumpy" read.
Spelling
No spelling errors were found.
Grammar & Punctuation
I didn't find any errors.
Additional Comments
You have a good poem here that just needs a bit of polishing. Good luck and I wish you well in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
There are many of us who struggle with these same afflictions. Just by living our lives one day at a time, we CAN begin to heal. The key to this is to remember you are not alone.
Imagery
The imagery that comes along with a poem such as this, tears at the heart of the reader. For some it may be because they are living through it and for others it's just very overwhelming and painful to see the damage it does.
Meter
The meter and rhyme scheme for this poem is fine until the last line. It doesn't fit in with the rest of the poem. I would consider a revision of that line.
Spelling
This area is fine. There were no errors found.
Grammar & Punctuation
There are no errors in either category.
Additional Comments
If this poem is written from life experiences I would urge you to keep writing. It cleanses the soul and if very therapeutic. Good luck in the contest.
Hello and Thank you for your donation. You are receiving this review for:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1261123 by Not Available.
The last line of this poem tore at my heart. It reminds me of my 13yr old son so much. I took the time to really absorb what you have written on this page. Besides my son, I know several people who are like this. It's a shame really. They are missing out on so much of what life has to offer.
The form of you poem is terrific. The lines flow freely into each other and it's easy to read, yet at the same time it's painful. You take great care in your work and that shows. There are no errors in this poem and the grammar and punctuation are flawless.
You have a very compelling story here. I believe it will be a huge success. You leave enough mystery for the reader to anticipate what comes next. Where does the story take me from here. I found it to be well rounded, easy to read and error free. I can't wait for he Novella. Write on my friend!
Hello and Thank you for your donation. You are receiving this review for:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1261123 by Not Available.
I never knew much about Australia until I read this article. It seems so far away from me, almost as if it's a kind of neverland. The love you feel for your homeland is very evident in the way you speak about it. I am not much for traveling, but if I were, Australia is the first place I would want to explore. The pictures you included with this article are breath-taking. The one with the dolphins is my favorite. The water is so clear! Nothing looks like that where I am.
On a technical note, this article is impeccably written. Thanks for sharing.
Hello and Thank you for your donation. You are receiving this review for:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1261123 by Not Available.
You certainly know what your talking about in this article. A mother of 4 myself, I have not been able to find the time to do what I want unless I ignore everything else. This article is just what I needed! My children are older now and don't require diaper changes but they do still need mom for a whole host of things. You have remarkable insight for both of your careers.
This article is very well constructed and has a plethora of useful information that can be helpful to anyone. it's well paced, easy to read and completely error free. I encourage everyone to read it.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
I enjoyed reading your poem about winter. It's crisp and fresh like a cold winter day. The blue really sets it off.
Imagery
You have a wonderful talent to be able to write and include this much imagery. Each line gives the reader something new to see. It's breath-taking.
Meter
The meter and rhyme scheme of this poem are fantastic. The lines flow freely together creating a seamless work of art.
Spelling
There are no errors in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
Grammar and punctuation are very well presented.
Additional Comments
Thanks for sharing this great poem. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
What a beautiful poem that showcases all of the wonderful attributes of Autumn. It is wonderfully written and gave me a sense of peace.
Imagery
Imagery abounds in this poem. There isn't one line that doens't give the reader something to imagine. Great work!!!
Meter
The meter in this Quatern is simply divine. No qualms here.
Spelling
No errors were found in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
The grammar and punctuation in this poem are error free.
Additional Comments
You have a true talent for writing. I look forward to seeing more of your work. I wish you well in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
Living with depression is a life altering experience. You make that very clear in this poem. However, if we learn to see the positives in life things can and do get better.
Imagery
There wasn't much in the way of imagery in this piece. I won't say that is a bad thing. I am sure that if readers understand depression they have their own images of what it does.
Meter
The poem has great flow until the fifth stanza. Your rhyme scheme went off track.
Spelling
There were no spelling errors in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
I think you may want to try some punctuation with this poem. It will add effect and allow the readers to take pause when needed.
Additional Comments
I suffer from depression so I know where you are coming from. Hang in there my friend things do get easier. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
You are a very eloquent writer. You have the knack of telling a story in poetry form without it sounding odd. This is a great poem.
Imagery
Right from the beginning of this poem I was swept away to a land far away. The images were clear and vivid. If I closed my eyes I could hear the birds and the cicadas.
Meter
Well done.
Spelling
There are no spelling errors.
Grammar & Punctuation
No errors in either category.
Additional Comments
Another wonderful poem. I wish you all the best in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
This poem is truly amazing. To believe one has lived through this horror and survived; gives me the strength and courage to keep fighting my own demons. You are a lucky man to have found the woman you did.
Imagery
Clear, vivid, horrifying and very surreal.
Meter
The meter in this poem is just fine. The rhyme pattern is very well done.
Spelling
There are no errors in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
No errors.
Additional Comments
You have a remarkable talent and I look forward to reading more of your work. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
I can relate very well to this poem. I can also see why you placed where you did. It is very well written.
Imagery
The imagery that I dealt with while reading this poem had to do with some of my own ghosts. The style in which you wrote it along with the descriptive wording you chose allows the reader to make a connection.
Meter
No issues here.
Spelling
No errors were found.
Grammar & Punctuation
Both are error free.
Additional Comments
Congrats on your second place win. Good luck in this contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
I have to say I found this poem quite funny. To think that most of what we learn is from what we see on TV. When in actual fact some of that is true.
Imagery
I didn't find much in the way of imagery in this poem.
Meter
This poem has good pace and flow. Great rhyme scheme too.
Spelling
There were no spelling errors
Grammar & Punctuation
Thre are a few compound words that are missing the apostrophe: wont is the one that stands out. You have an i've as well that should be I've.
Additional Comments
Nice work. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
If I am being honest I must say that this poem needs some work. It has potential but there are numerous errors that need to be fixed. I also think that you need to clarify some things within the poem for the reader to be able to understand it.
Imagery
The imagery in this piece is dull and drab. Just because the person in the poem just lies there doesn't mean there can't be something to catch the readers eye.
Meter
Overall I think this poem needs to be evened out. Look at each line for syllable count and flow. Try and keep them close together.
Spelling
allready=already allways=always
Grammar & Punctuation
There are several grammatical errors in this poem. For instance: i'm=I'm i'll= I'll There were a few more that I'm sure you'll be able to find.
Additional Comments
Like I said earlier, this poem has potential. It just needs some editing. ~*~Damiana Returned~*~
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
This is an interesting poem and like the first I reviewed, it read more like a story.
Imagery
The scene that unfolded before me as I read this story was made possible by the descriptive wording you used. I would rather not have imagined kids blowing coke but the fact that I did says something.
Meter
I wouldn't say there are issues with the meter but again I found this poem to be more story like.
Spelling
There were no errors found in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
This piece is in need of some editing as far as punctuation goes. Commas are needed at the end of several lines and periods on some others.
Additional Comments
Thanks for sharing your poem with us. Good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
I'd have to say that my first impression of this poem is that it should be a story. It goes from one thought to another without any connection. I wonder if you plan on adding more to it.
Imagery
There wasn't anything in my opinion that jumped out at me.
Meter
I found no issues with the meter of this poem. Each line is well paced.
Spelling
I didn't see any spelling errors in this piece.
Grammar & Punctuation
No issues in either category.
Additional Comments
I find it difficult rating short poems because most of them don't have enough content to comment on. That doesn't mean it isn't good. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
First Impression
In looking at the review left by our fellow poet Alfred, I must say I agree with him whole-heartedly about this poem. It takes us back to the days of yesteryear; during a time of innocence.
Imagery
The imagery in this poem is wonderfully done. When I closed my eyes and thought about it, I could almost hear the ore pellets jingling in your pockets.
Spelling
There were no errors found in this poem.
Grammar & Punctuation
No errors were found in either category.
Additional Comments
Thanks for sharing this part of your history with us. Good luck in the contest.
First Impression
What I find most appealing about your writing is the fact that you take the extra measure to explain things. You are very detail oriented and that allows the reader to be absorbed into what they are looking at. There are no dead spots that eave the reader wondering "what happens next."
Imagery
Once again you have managed to build a wonderful scene for the reader to enjoy.
Characterization
I found you did a much better job with this than in your prologue. You have given the reader some background info that lets then become familiar with the character.
Spelling
Great job with this. No errors were found.
Grammar & Punctuation
You are very meticulous when it comes to this. I didn't find any mistakes.
Additional Comments
I look forward to reading the next chapter. Keep up the good work.
First Impression
You have an amazing talent for writing. I was truly moved by this story. This is one of the best pieces I have read in a while.
Imagery
This area could not be improved on one bit. You have painted a very clear and vivid picture in this readers mind with every word you wrote. In some parts I felt as if I were right there. Simply beautiful.
Characterization
This area is good but I feel as the story progresses it could be improved upon. Giving more a a background on your characters will allow the reader to familiarize themselves each person.
Spelling
There were no errors found.
Grammar & Punctuation
No errors found.
Additional Comments
You have an award winning story on the go here. I look forward to reading more as it comes. Write on!
I am sorry for laughing while I read this whole story but it was hilarious! I have lived here all my life and never heard of Juniper Park. I may just have to venture out this summer and see what it's like. Great writing Davy. Your real life adventure was well worth the read.
Lisa
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile/reviews/damiana/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/18
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.45 seconds at 5:08pm on Jun 27, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
First Impression 