First Impression
I can't imagine what it would be like to live through such an experience. You seemed to have relived this nightmare as if it were just yesterday. You expressed yourself well and were able to evoke emotion in the reader. Great work.
Form
I found no issues with the form of this poem.
Rhyme & Meter
Not applicable for this piece.
Imagery & Characterization
Very real, bold and in your face reality.
Spelling & Grammar
There were no errors found in this poem.
Punctuation
No errors found.
Additional Comments
Great work my friend. Good luck in the challenge.
First Impression
The questioning nature of this story reminded me of the "Footprints" poem. Through our trials and tribulations in life it seems that when we are at our lowest we find ourselves alone. Your story shows us if we have faith things don't have to be that way.
Form
The form of this piece is great. It moves along to a different subject with each paragraph allowing the reader to focus on the feeling and emotions being brought forward.
Imagery & Characterization
I found that these area were done quite well.
Spelling & Grammar
There are no errors in this piece.
Punctuation
No errors
Additional Comments
Great writing my friend. Good luck in the challenge.
First Impression
I must admit that I had a hard time following this story because it was all over the place. The only thing I think I am sure about is that Bill was having an affair but that even mystifies me.
Form
The form of the story is good but the dialog should be separated from the rest of the paragraphs.
Imagery & Characterization
There is a fair amount of imagery and characterization in this piece. More so for Bill than Martha. I feel this could be worked on.
Spelling & Grammar
A few errors found that be fixed up through spell check.
Punctuation
Needs a bit of editing.
Additional Comments
You have a good start. Good luck in the challenge.
First Impression
I have to admit the title of this poem does not seem to match the actual poem. You mention snowflakes in various places but none of them seems to have a concrete meaning.
Form
The form needs a bit of work to bring the symmetry of it together.
Rhyme & Meter
Both of these in my opinion are a bit rough. The could use some editing to even out your lines.
Imagery & Characterization
A few scattered images came to mind with this piece but not enough to evoke a response.
Spelling & Grammar
There were no errors found.
Punctuation
There are a few errors with the semi-colons and commas. A quick run through MS word will help you there.
Additional Comments
Thanks for entering the Challenge. Good luck!
I really like this prologue. You seem to have everything put together very well and your characters are all very believeable. The form of the story is solid and there are no errors that I could see. I did take a quick peek at the first chapter and noticed that it is a bit long. You may consider havin more chapters that are smaller then a few very long one. I find readers get turned off but something that is too long. On a good note though you have a good start here. I look forward to reading more.
This poem is amazing but so sad it made me cry. I felt every word as I read this piece. The bond between 2 brothers does not always stand the test of time but the love they share is eternal. I am sorry for your loss and wish you peace as the anniversary approaches. You have a magnificent poem written for whom I believe was a man of the same calibre.
First Impression
It is abundantly clear that you care very deeply for this person. A love like that is not easy to find. I hope it last both of you a life time.
Form
In my opinion this form of the poem worked well for this piece. It was free flowing and gave the reader something to concentrate on.
Rhyme & Meter
Not much rhyme in the piece but I felt that the meter was well done.
Imagery & Characterization
Both of these elements leave much to the imagination of the reader. Great work.
Spelling & Grammar
I didn't find any errors in this poem.
Punctuation
No issues here.
Additional Comments
Thanks for entering the Weekly Newbie Challenge. Write on!
You have a good base for this story but unfortunately there are quite a few errors with punctuation and grammar. Running this through spell check or MS word will help you fix those up. Another problem I found is that the story is all bunched up together. All dialog should be on a line of its own. This way the reader can determine who is speaking. You have a good foundation it just needs some editing.
I think this is fantastic! You did such a great job keeping it in tune with the original but added you own spin and hilarity that made it a joy to read. The form is great and ther were no errors. I hope you won something for it. Great work my friend.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
The uncertainty of changes makes all of us a unsure of what is to come. If we trust ourselves to be open to new experiences we learn that all change isn't bad.
Form:
The form of this story need some work. I found it to be blocky. By saying that I mean some of the paragraphs are too long. The dialog is also all cramped together when it should be on a line of its own.
Imagery& Characterization:
I didn't get much out of this story for imagery or characterization. I feel this could be made better by adding more content on where they are going and the characters themselves.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
I found no errors in this piece.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
This poem is wonderfully descriptive and captures some of natures most wondrous beauties but I have to say reading it was a bit of a tongue twister for me.
Form:
I found no issues with the form of this poem.
Imagery & Characterization:
With the immense amount of descriptive wording used in this poem it would be difficult NOT to be able to form a clear image. I found that even the one line about the sole soul was enough to capture this persons essence.
Flow & Meter:
I found these to be a bit ragged but only because of the repetition of certain syllables.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
There were no errors found.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
The wonder of seeing the first snow each year leaves a special memory for everyone. Some say that writing about the first snowfall is overdone but each of us are unique in how we see it I don't feel it could ever be over done. I am a bit confused though about who's last season it is.
Form:
Great form for this free verse poem.
Imagery& Characterization:
You give a wonderful description of what you see in the poem I felt that the imagery was great. No real characterization to comment on.
Flow & Meter:
I felt both of these were fine considering that this piece is free verse.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
There were no errors found in this poem.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
This is a very deep and compelling story. I can tell by the way it is written that quite a bit of work went into it. I found the message behind the story to be somewhat cryptic and for me that's what made it so good.
Form:
The form of this story, even though it is just a draft, worked very well.
Imagery& Characterization:
I think both of these elements were executed very well. The images were clear and vivid and helped to form a background to this piece.
Flow & Meter:
This category is mostly used for poetry but I felt this the flow of this story is wonderful. The paragraphs are evenly spaced allowing for ease in reading and one flows right into the next.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
There were no errors found in this piece.
This story was fantastic. I truly enjoyed reading it. It is witty, funny, light-hearted and all around well written. You have a wonderful talent for spinning tales. Your form is perfect, the grammar is superb and there were no spelling or punctuation errors. Thanks for sharing this great story.
This was awesome! You have a wonderful imagination. This is certainly something my children would enjoy. It full of wonder and excitement when Thomas visits Thantera.
The story as a whole is really well written. I did notice a few errors I will highlight in bold.
He loved him mother
Thoms was fascinated
T- This T is separated from the rest of the word on the next line.
hat was the way it worked
Other than those few things I noticed...you have a really great story here.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
This poem is heart-wrenching. I admit I don't know a lot about that part of the US but you have opened my eyes to the realities of it. Real life at times can be harsher than fiction.
Form:
I found no issues with the form of this poem.
Imagery& Characterization:
The imagery in this poem is brutal. To actually envision this type of situation is hard on a person. hings like this shouldn't be happening in this day and age.
Flow & Meter:
The flow and meter of this poem were just fine.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
This poem is completely error free.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
Dealing with loss is tragic and even more so when it happens right before your eyes. I was moved by this poem and I hope that you will find a way to deal with your grief. Writing helps....
Form:
The form of this poem was well done.
Imagery& Characterization:
The imagery in this poem was very sad and not something I would want to imagine daily.
Flow & Meter:
The flow and meter of this poem in my opinion need a bit of editing. There are areas where the flow is inconsistent causing little bumps within the stanza. This can be fixed easily.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
I did not see any errors in this poem.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
I found this poem to be very profound. If you really truly think about what you say in this poem it all makes perfect sense. Everyone, even the most famous people start life as an ordinary person but it is their accomplishments that make them something else.
Form:
Great form for this poem. I like the way you ended your stanzas.
Imagery& Characterization:
If you think about the other famous poem called "Footprints", I don't think you will have a problem creating a picture in your mind.
Flow & Meter:
Both are well done.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
No errors were found.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
The loss of a loved one is hard enough but when it is our parents it is something that is often to hard to bear. I lost my father almost 14 years ago and my heart aches to this day. I felt your pain and sadness as I read this poem and had to wipe a tear from my eye. My heart goes out to you.
Form:
I found nothing wrong with the form of this poem.
Imagery& Characterization:
Clear, vivid and very sad.
Flow & Meter:
There were a few places that the flow and meter were off slightly but I don't feel it takes away from the impact of this piece.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
I can sense a great deal of hate and discontent for the subject of this poem. I can't say that I blame you though. You touch on some very factual statements in your poem.
Form:
I see no issues with the form of this poem.
Imagery& Characterization:
The imagery in this piece is very clear and disturbing. When thinking of all the lives that have been lost in this senseless war it is very hard not to effected by it in some way. The sights we have seen will last a lifetime.
Flow & Meter:
A bit rugged but overall not bad.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
There were no errors found.
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
I am sure this poem is an expression of some aspects of your life but I am just not able to grasp its meaning. I feel that most of it are just ramblings that don't really make sense.
Form:
The form of the poem is standard and I see no flaws there.
Imagery& Characterization:
There was nothing in particular that popped out and grabbed me. The poem evoked no emotion in me whatsoever. It did confuse me though.
Flow & Meter:
This poem is in my opinion free form and has no specific flow or meter.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
One error found in this line:Maybe the TV set wil roll forever. The word "will".
Hello,
My name is Damiana and I am reviewing your entry for the:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1179707 by Not Available.
First Impression:
The sadness you feel from the loss of your brother is quite evident in this poem. It a beautiful tribute to him.
Form:
The form of this poem was standard for most types of poetry. I do feel however that it would read better if broken down into stanzas.
Imagery& Characterization:
I did not feel that there was very much imagery or characterization in this piece. I feel that more description of your brother and the relationship you two shared would have added to this poem.
Flow & Meter:
The flow and meter of this poem need some work. I feel that the rhyme pattern was forced leaving what I call "speed bumps" within the poem. Your syllabic count needs some evening out to give the piece better flow.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
There were no errors found in this poem.
First Impression
I think when you come right down to the nitty gritty... you have managed to put that phrase into a very understandable perspective. The part I enjoyed the most was the last line because in the grand scheme of things that is all that really matters.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I didn't see any issues here at all.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
There were no errors found in this poem.
Imagery & Characterization
I was able to conjure up several images as I read this piece. They were clear and vivid.
Additional Comments
Great write my friend...Keep up the good work!
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First Impression
You have put quite an interesting spin on the game of love in this poem. I enjoyed your philosophical views on the subject.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I felt that all of the elements were done very well. This is a well thought out poem that makes the reader think about what he/she is reading.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
There were no errors found in this poem.
Additional Comments
You have a unique writing style. I look forward to seeing more of your work. Write on my friend!
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First Impression
This is a very profound piece of poetry. I can relate very well to many of the things mentioned in this piece. Better than that I can understand it. Beautiful work.
Form, Rhyme & Meter
I feel that all three of these elements were executed very well. The poem reads smoothly and there are no areas where the flow is interrupted.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation
This poem is error free.
Imagery & Characterization
In my opinion these two elements were done well but I do feel more emphasis could have been put on the character.
Additional Comments
This is a well written poem and I think you will go far with your writing. Keep up the good work.
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First Impression 
