I know exaclty where feelings like this come from so I was able to see the pain beyond the words. This poem is very deep and dark but it shows us fragile we can be. You have expressed your thoughts well.
The form of this piece works well and the meter great. I didn't find any errors but I would recommend using punctuation where it is required. Thank you for bringing this great poem and yourself to WDC!
I absolutely loved this adoring tale of the ghost rabbit. It is told in such a way that children of all ages would find it appealing. There were no errors found anywhere throughout this story but I would recommend separating the first part of the story into more manageable paragraphs.
As it is now, the entire story looks like one big block. You have the basic concept down because you have the indents already in position. All you have you have to do is allow one space between each new paragraph.
Even though this poem is short, is says so much. The last two lines are my favorite. I found it very easy to visualize the moonlight on the water and a variety of different images that could either be pretty or ugly. This doesn't happen often when there isn't a great deal of descriptive wording used. I would like to see how you could expand on this to make it even better.
I would suggest using punctuation where it is needed as well. Overall though you have a great poem with solid meter. Thanks for sharing.
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When I started reading this story I was trying to figure out what type of creatures were in the competition. I had an idea in the back of my mind and low and behold I was right! I laughed myself out of my chair when I found this out.
You did a remarkable job with this story. Right from the beginning I was drawn in and you hint just enough along the way about the creatures to keep the reader interested. The story follows all of the proper guidelines and it is error free. Thanks for entering the challenge. You might also want to check out my Short Story Contest.
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We all have questions about what the future holds and our destiny but I often wonder if there is any way of ever finding out.
Your poem leads us to believe that the answers are within ourselves and we need to reach deep to find them. Can this be true? Will we ever know?
I think that the overall message of this poem stands out, however, I do feel the poem needs some editing. There are no errors but the meter is bumpy. Try evening it out by counting the syllables in each line. I hope that helps.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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Wouldn't life be grand if love was all it took for the world to finally live in peace. You poem brings out a deep yearning within us to make things better so we can have the world we dream about.
The form of your poem is fine and it flows well. I am a bit confused by these two lines:
But stray ye off that wonderous path
Ye slightly tip the scales
I would expect to find out what would come if one did stray off the path. I found one error in the spelling of "wonderous." It should be "wondrous" and I'd suggest using punctuation where it is needed.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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Overall Impression:
This poem spoke to me and it said loudly "Freedom." In just a few short paragraphs you managed to say so much. This poem moved me and I was able to visualize each and every line.
Form, Rhyme, Meter:
I think you have done remarkably well with this poem. I found no issues in any of these categories.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
All three of these are error free.
Closing Comments:
I believe this poem could touch many people in a very heart warming way. Thank you for brining it to my contest.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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I love happy endings. It's so nice to hear when good things happen to good people. You have shared with us a wonderful part of your life and one that is very personal.
I understand your reason behind changing the names to protect one's privacy, however, I feel that if you personalized the story by saying my husband and I adopted Sassy for instance; it would allow the reader a better connection with you. Reading it in its current form doesn't give it or you the recognition you deserve.
In closing, I will say that this story is free from errors.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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Reflecting on one's past isn't an easy thing to do, especially when things from the past still haunt you in the present. If this story is written from a real life experience you certainly poured out your heart and soul. This is a very deeply moving piece.
Your overall story composition is great. There were no speliing errors and the grammar and punctuation are flawless. Thanks for sharing.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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You have a wonderful writing style that is greatly emphasized in this story. As I read this piece, I wondered if anyone ever felt that way about me...sigh
Your descriptive wording truly makes this piece stand out and gives the reader plenty to focus on. If I were to use one word to describe this story it would have to be...breathtaking.
In closing, I must mention that there were no errors found in this story.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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It is clear, from this poem, that you care for your friend very much. I do feel however, that this poem need a bit of work.
The overall flow is 'bumpy'. Take a look at your syllable count in each line. Try and even it out to create a smoother flow. There a few lines that don't sound right as well.
This one: To her, I wish to be safe. I don't fully understand what you mean here.
This one: I sill stand the storm. I am thinking that the 'sill' should be 'still' or 'shall'.
Give the poem a once over and with some minor editing I think this could shine. Good Luck!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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I did enjoy the humor of this poem but I could also feel the sadness surrounding this poor forgotten woman. I like the form in which you have written this piece. It flows well and has a great rhyme scheme. The imagery in this poem allowed me to see what life is like for the "Derelict Debutant." You have done a great job with this poem and I must mention that there were no errors found.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This is a beautiful poem that shines with pride of one's heritage. The structure of this piece is strong, the imagery is great and the meter is admirable. I liked the way you described your grandfather. I could feel the love and respect you have for him through your words. Great write my friend.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This is really good. Just as I was getting reading to see the Dr exact her revenge... I won't ruin it for everyone else! they will just have to read it.
I didn't find any major issues with this story. The main body of this piece could be brought together a bit more. You should combine some of the sentences that contain similar topic info to give the story a more solid body.
The spelling is flawless, there were no punctuation errors and the grammar is fine. Nice work my friend!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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I am writing this review with my arms full of goosebumps and the little hairs on the back of my neck all standing at attention. WHAT AN AWESOME STORY!!!! I can't praise it enough. Right from the very first paragraph you had me and I knew this was going to be a sensational read. This story is PERFECT!!! What else can I say...
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This story rocks!!! The way you brought everyone together and made the "Connections" is astounding! I loved it! I just wish it wouldn't have ended like it did but then again it leaves the reader to be able to predict what the dinner would have been like. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one.
Looking at this story from a technical standpoint, I would have to say that you have done very well with it. It follows all of the guidelines for good story composition. Great work! There are also no errors. Thanks for sharing it.
Write on!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This story really got me thinking. As surreal as it is, I actually believe something like this could happen. So much emphasis is placed on being "perfect" that it's scary how many young people are having surgeries to change their appearance. For us to believe that we can 'manufacture' perfect human beings before they are even born is even scarier.
Your story from a technical standpoint is flawless. There were no errors found in spelling, grammar or punctuation. Great writing my friend!
Write on!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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I chuckled when I saw the title of this story thinking to myself that it couldn't possibly be about Bacon. I thought it was the name of a character. Much to my dismay, it was bacon, the meat. I am sorry to say I didn't personally find this story funny. That's not to say others won't.
I will tell you that your story has good composition. There are no spelling errors and the grammar and punctuation are fine. Write on!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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While I dry the stream of tears rolling down my cheeks I will tell you how much I truly enjoyed this story. It takes great deal of pure, raw emotions to get me to this state and this story has it all. I knew from the start this was going to be something I would never forget.
There isn't one piece of this story that is less than perfect. I can't say enough about it. You are a remarkable writer my friend. Please don't ever stop.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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What an awesome read! You have a wonderful talent for story writing. The composition of this piece is fantastic. Starting in the first paragraph, you capture the readers interest with a woman who is freezing and close to death in frigid waters. As the reader moves on, the story unfolds and pulls you in ever father. By this point there is no turning back. You give enough detail about what might happen next that the reader is forced to move on. Awesome work!!!
The end of this brilliant story is one that was not expected by this reader. It stopped me cold and my jaw dropped. Way to go!
As I read this story I paid close attention to spelling, grammar and punctuation. I am happy to tell you that I only found two errors. The second paragraph, the word 'World' does not need to be capitalized.
And in this line: Where the hell am I? she thought, and then, the voices.
You need quotation marks around "Where the hell am I?".
In closing this is one of the best pieces I have read in a very long time. Wonderful writing my friend.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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I enjoyed this fast paced tale of the Blackpool girls. They really seem to know how to party.
Looking at this story as a whole, I felt that you have the basics down for composition. The story starts out well and leads the reader into the meat of it. You have a good amount of description in the main body to keep the reader interested. Although you don't go into great detail about your characters, I did feel you put enough life into them for the story to be enjoyable.
If we take a look at some technical aspects of this composition, I have some concerns with spelling. I have listed the words that are of concern. I realize that in different parts of the world some words do have alternate spellings.
hummanity - humanity
tyre - tire
illeagal - illegal
reident - I think this is supposed to be resident?
deminished - diminished
yellped - yelped
lke - like?
In closing I will say that there were no errors in punctuation and that the overall story was quite good. Write on!
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are meant to assist the writer in editing their work. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This is a sweet and touching poem of true love. It was easy to feel the emotion that you put into this piece. The words flow effortlessly off the page and the rhyme scheme is wonderful. The grammar and punctuation are flawless and there are no spelling errors. Nice work fellow poet.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are solely the reviewers. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This is a fairly unique poem that allows the reader to interpret what the writer saw in that momentary glance. I am still a bit baffled by the line "because I didn't know the must." I am not sure exactly what it means. Overall, I feel that this poem has good form and meter. There were no spelling errors and the grammar and punctuation are error free as well. Nice write.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are solely the reviewers. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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This is quite a deep and insightful poem. To imagine what it would be like inside of one's mind is a very interesting concept. I don't think I would want to see mine. I enjoyed reading this piece.
I don't see any issues with the form or meter but there should be more punctuation. Mostly commas and periods. I didn't see and spelling or grammatical errors. Nice write my friend.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are solely the reviewers. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1203119 by Not Available.
Overall Impression:
This poem is, in my opinion, a bit perplexing. I am not sure if "Eve" is a woman or a time of day. I read the poem a few times and I felt that it could be both so I am not sure of how I truly feel about this piece.
Form & Meter:
I don't see any issues with the form of this poem and the meter is fine as well.
Spelling, Grammar & Punctuation:
I didn't see any errors in this poem per say, however I will mention the lower case "i's". I personally don't feel that using them adds any particular emphasis to this poem. When I see them being used I have the impression that the writer just couldn't be bothered to hit the shift key. It makes things look sloppy and unfinished.
Also, in this line: those promised whispered you have filled
I am thinking 'promised' should be 'promises".
Closing Comments:
I hope you don't find this review too critical. That certainly wasn't my intention. Thanks for entering the contest.
*The opinions and suggestions expressed in this review are solely the reviewers. They are in no way meant to be disrespectful to the writer. Only the writer can choose what is in their best interest as far as their work is concerned.
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they will just have to read it. 
The way you brought everyone together and made the "Connections" is astounding! I loved it! I just wish it wouldn't have ended like it did but then again it leaves the reader to be able to predict what the dinner would have been like. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that one.