 THE CHAPTER
A look at life in Ireland through Seamus's eyes. In this chapter, Seamus's family is attacked by an English solider.
 WHAT I LIKED
I liked how the author started with a "wide view" of the Irish countryside then narrowed it in onto Seamus's cabin and his family.
 POV NARRATION/TENSE
This is told in the 3rd person mainly from Seamus's perspective. Good job with narration.
I only have one comment here, and it's only a comment, but I might consider rewriting this chapter using Seamus in the first person. A couple of pros to this:
 It would involve the reader more, and allow them to really get into Seamus's head. It would be just that much more personal.
It would also "show" more of the chapter as opposed to "telling" it.
Past tense used appropriately.
SHOW VS TELL
A lot of professional editors are always harping on "show vs tell." Some of the things they look for is "show me," don't "tell me," and start with action to involve the reader. In that regard, the first chapter is a straight telling of what happens through Seamus's perspective. Now, I really liked the opening paragraphs, how the author opens wide and narrows down, but after that, I would get into the showing aspect of the chapter. Once Seamus goes out to tend to the sheep, a bulk of the middle could be cut out and the author can go into Seamus hearing the screams of his wife. In this scene, I might suggest using dialogue to show Seamus's anger and hate as he sees what is happening to his family. Have the soldier speak and further goad Seamus into action. By showing this pivotal scene, as opposed to telling it, the reader will feel that much more for Seamus's plight. Mind you, these are only suggestions, nothing more.
DIALOGUE
There is none, but the author can really make this chapter and the story shine by adding some. Research authentic Irish accents and incorporate that into to the story to make it that much more authentic to the reader.
DESCRIPTIONS
There were enough to set the scene of Seamus's land, but that's it. The time is not set. I can guess maybe it's set in 1840's Ireland, but I would incorporate a little description so as to nail that down for the reader. Also, try to incorporate the five senses into your description. And example here might be the English solider smells - he stinks of surprise and stench as Seamus interupts him.
CHARACTERS
Seamus, (main)
A lot of the focus is on Seamus, and the reader gets to know his internal conflict very quickly because the author tells them. In that regard, my suggestion would be to show us his conflict. Show us the scene where he talks with his wife about his concerns, and how torn he is about honoring her wishes, while staying true to his land.
MECHANICS
The opening starts off well. I might suggest looking at the paragraph that starts with "From his immediate vantage point..." I would suggest an edit here for mechanices. For example spell out the numbers, "five," instead of 5. I think the word "he" is missing between "and was."
Check the structure here: "He saw the English soldier hit Treasa and her crumple to the floor in a heap;" I might suggest: The English soldier hit Treasa with an open hand across the cheek. She crumpled to the floor, blood dripping from the corner of her mouth." You can see my additions get a little more graphic, so as to evoke the reader's sympathy.
PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS
Suggestions as mentioned above. While I have a lot of suggestions, I liked the whole idea of the story. I love historical period pieces and that aspect of the story appealed to me a lot. At the end of the chapter, I wanted to read on to chapter two to find out that happens. Mind you, my suggestions are only that, suggestions, nothing more.
Keep writing!
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