I am so sorry for your loss! I know how painful it must've been, having lost a young son, and just this past Nov. losing my darling niece who was the daughter I'd never had.
Your poem brought me to tears and oh! The memories.
I would like to ask you to enter your work in the Newbie Challenge a weekly contest of which I am one of the reviewers. If you would be interested in entering the contest I will send the link below. It would be very good exposure for your writing.
Sincerely
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Thank you for this lovely tribute to a son and his
father, you must be so proud of them both.
Funny how I get this picture in my head of two cowboys, one tall one short, walking up a road together talking talk that only they know. Thank you so much for sharing this with us and welcome to Writing.Com. Looking forward to read more from you very soon.
Best Wishes
M Duci
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This is a darling little poem, it say's so much
in four short lines. Sometimes we find the best
blessing wrapped up in tiny packages, and I do
believe this is one of them. Thank you so much
for sharing this tiny cutie with us, and welcome
to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Dear Shamima,
What a sweet little story about 'Betty the Butterfly'
I'm sure children and grownups alike will love this litte tale.
Just a few minor fixings I think. I know you are in the UK, and a lot of your words are spelled different from ours if this is the case not a problem.
But some words would be spelt the same. I have made a little list of the one's my eyes cought right away.
Over all I thought it a darling piece, even more so because I love BUTTERFLIES. Welcom to Writing.Com, and look forward to seeing more from Shamima.
Betty the Butterfly
Betty lived in a garden secretly, with her mum, dad and anoyying boastful sister.
Next door neighbour's garden was under construction, so all the butterflies who lived there, came to live with them.
Oh, how she would love to have some colour! All she had was a plain dark brown, while ever other butterfly had dazzling colours all over them.
'I'm the ugly duckling,' she thought one day as she sobbed amongst a couple of leaves.
At school, her class-mates had teased her for as long as she could remember..One day, butterflies called her more rude names as ever.
'THAT'S IT! I can't take it any more!' She fluttered away one dark night, her intention was not to go back.
She lay down next to a big tree, and sniffed, 'Oh, I will never be beautiful in...' she dozed off to sleep at that very moment.
The next morning as she woke up, she was very surprised. Never in her life had she seen a black, shiny tree which was very, very wide!
She flew up and up, wondering if it was a tree after all!
But, what she saw was most extra-ordinary! A pot of gold!
She flew up to the arch in the middle of the rainbow and slid down, very fast as she splashed into a multicoloured lake. She looked at herself at a shiny surface....no, it couldn't be....
SHE HAD CHANGED COLOUR!
She flew back very happily to her proper home, in the garden into a dul atmosphere....
'you're back!' yelled everyone, wiping away tears.
They were very suprised indeed at the
~New colourful Betty the butterfly~!
annoying
neighbor's
color
multicolor
surprised
colorful
Sincerely
M Duci
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You have a wonderful gift for writing, and this one
stole my heart. It brought back memories nearly forgotten.
I remember when my second son was born! A very difficult birth! I was in a coma for seven days after his birth, but just before losing consciousness
I thought of all the things I would miss about his growing up I fought and prayed so hard not to die.
As you see I made it. Thank you for sharing with us and welcome to Writing.com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Very nicely done Creative Mind, I did find that
the second stanza took me into another tense, but
over all it was a lovely poem. These lines are my
favorite:
'Love come back, from my heart I send this prayer,
Give me Your sight and take away my fear,
Shelter this new-found love and help it grow,
And give me directions, for there I will go.'
Welcome to Writing.Com, and continue to write.
Sincerely
M Duci
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"Where the road meets the sky, there you will find amazements to the eye"
What is so amazing is the signature it self. I have never seen on quite like it anywhere.
It brings a smile to my face! Just seeing how you've put the whole milking farm system into this beautiful
signature for the MilkMan. Congratulations on a job well done. Thank you so much for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
I came upon this lovely poem while looking over
your port. I have had you on my list for some
time now but because I started reading bottom to top
of our group “I Remember When,” I've just come to
your name. Of all the poems I should pick this one,
for I have the sequel to it in my port. I love when
two minds think alone the same path. It is so very lovely everyone of your expressions and feelings jell
this one together.
The only suggestions I have would be to capitalize all
the beginning words. A nice bold would look great, and perhaps center it. It is awesome. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Of all poetry that is written today or yesterday, or any day. I love the poetry written about that four letter word LOVE, it does seem to melt my and I can't seem to give less then five s for the effort. This is beautiful and please continue to write in this vane because I'll be back to r/r again. Thank you for sharing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
'But I can not wake her.' May sound better, ' But I cannot wake her.'
I love your poem and was able to read the amazing rhyme scheme through all the maze. It is a work of
truth and you bring altogether in the end. What I would love to see you do with this wonderful piece!
Put it in poem form, separating into five lines each stanza. Centering it would be nice also, and maybe
make the color bold. Thank you so much for sharing
and consider entering it into one of the newbie contests.
Sincerely
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Where have you been hiding yourself? You have written the book of books! The essay of essay's. You are a talented gift from the Father. Thank you so much for this, for these are my own beliefs and I know that my Father loves me unconditionally.
I too have heard these same sentiments in my life time and I continue to do his good works, and leave them to theirs of talking down and slamming all that don't see it just their way. Like you I will hang on to what I know and feel in my center of being and my love for this kind and always present Father until my end.
Continue the wonderful gifts he has presented to you.
I am reviewing your story today for the Newbie Challenge Contest.
I feel that you have a wonderful fill for Sci-Fi. You've done a very good job with your character content making them seem very believable. I only noticed one little thing that made me want to ask a question of you.
You wrote:'Tilane felt himself crawling across the floor,' how about 'tilane pulled himself across the floor.' Just a suggestion. Good luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest.
Sincerely
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I am reviewing your short story for the Newbie Challenge.
Night, I would have loved to hear what the aunt and uncle called unpure, and what it was that made the young girl so different that it would cause her to cut herself so deeply. I'd like to know if this is the end of the story or is there more to come. Thank you so much for sharing this sad story and good luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest.
Sincerely
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I am reviewing your short story today for the 16th Newbie Challenge.
I must tell you that I enjoyed your story very much, and it does seem like a life that every young women would desire.
I love the mangaka form of art and would love to see some of yours. I'd hope one day that you might display some of your work for us to view.
I found now errors in your work, and I wish you luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
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You've just made my day, with this lovely expression of Season's passing. I feel the same way, each day that I awake and find a new and wonderful day that
I'm still walking, talking, going about my business just like any other day. Seeing the children blooming into such beautiful little people and being able to thank God' for another useful day. Thank you so much for sharing. Good luck in the Newbie Challenge.
Sincerely
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What a great read, and you've just hit the nail on the head, so to speak. Yes the drop back down to earth can be a little tough, but not to worry you'll reach your goals. I must admit, that I had to get up and go for water because of laughing so hard. You're a very talented writer and I wish you luck in the Newbie Challenge. I really loved the last line. Thanks for sharing.
Sincerely
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I will have to admit this was a very confusing dream, as it must have been to the dreamer. I think dreams are meant to be confusing, wouldn't you agree. This dream took on so many forms and left me clearly shaken.
The rhyme and rhythm are wonderful, and I saw no errors. Good luck in the Newbie Challenge, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Furaha, dear you have again touched the soul and rendered me speechless once again.
The meaning surely speaks for itself and heaven has intervened to bring closure. Each stanza is a story within it's very lines, a few yet to unfold will come in time. Lovely, and timely it deserved that beautiful Awardicon, congratulations.
Sincerely
Marlena
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That day stands out in mind, and will for the rest of my life. Such beautiful children, and somehow you make me feel better about them never having anymore pain. For the pain the world felt on the day they were found is incomprehensible.
A mother with son's and grandson's of my own I can't even imagine the pain that I would have felt had they be mine. Yes they will be loved and remembered forever.
Thank you so much for sharing this poem with us, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
You've written so much for so short a piece. I love your way of writing the details of the event are so vivid and clear. What happens in that jungle brought fresh tears to my eyes. I had a cousin in those jungles and he never got to marry his sweetheart, the story could have been his and thousands of others just like them. Thank you so much for sharing this story, and welcome to Writing.Com. It's a wonderful place to let loose all those old emotions.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I'd like to say this is a wonderful very enlightening piece of work. You are such a gifted talent. Your writing is far ahead of your time and age for fourteen. I look forward to reading your work at age twenty-one. I have read and met many gifted young people in your age group on the WDC, and I must say I'm proud to know all of you. Thank you Toni for sharing. Welcome to Writing.Com
Sincerely
M Duci
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This was a lovely tribute, to beautiful lady. I've never seen her but I call her beautiful because she lived to see ninety-eight, and your description of her and her life is so surreal.
Funny how the rain will bring up so many memories from the past, perhaps that's why it rains so often.
'42, she can still hear the screech of tires on wet road and feel the impact of the crash the claimed her son.' Tiny little error 'the' should be that.
I enjoyed reading this piece so much and welcome to Writing.Com. I Love your work.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Thank you story Master, for getting that person's head on straight. There are many so-called writing workshops out there, but none like Writing.Com. This is a fun, peaceful, inspiring place to come and express yourself by writing, venting your thoughts down on your site; maybe it's kept a few people from harming themselves, or someone else. Here you may read wonderful, insightful stories, poetry, and it's open 24/7. I love it here, love the friends I've met here. The Story Master and Story Mistress are top's in my book, Writing.Com in my humble opinion is like going to a fun birthday party every day all day long.
Thank you Writing.Com I love you.
Sincerely
M Duci
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and I can't seem to give less then five 
Hello Night 
Hello Wildflower,