I enjoyed your poem very much of a love that
had been shattered and lost. My favorite lines;
'The boundaries forsaken
Enabling expansive grief.'
I thought it done in very good taste and found no errors what so ever. Good luck in the contest and welcome to Writing.Com.
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What a lovely way to talk to ones self and seems you got that little voice to quite down! For now. Everyone
needs someone, and once you get used to having a house full, it'll get better of course. You never know when the shoe will be on the other foot, and that same little guy will be the one to look after you. Take care and enjoy.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Welcome to Writing.Com. I love your story of the little butterfly that tried to make it up that mountain.
I also very much liked your ending. I felt my own breath catch a few times as she tired and lost her strength but never stopped trying. I hope you write more stories on the butterfly, for I love butterflies and will read almost anything written on them! I see them as tiny angels. Take care, have a great week.
Sincerely
M Duci
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The very thought that this could happened to someone
I know and love would cause me more pain then even
your story can tell. Good luck in the contest.
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Thank you for entering your story in this weeks contest.
What I like about your story is that it made me laugh, and it read like nothing I've ever read before.
I don't think you need all those caps in the reference of yourself, but that is just a suggestion. Over all I loved it and look forward to seeing you next week.
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Welcome to Writing.Com from a member of the review group "I Remember When." Thank you for sharing your
little poem with us and hope you'll have many happy
hours here at WDC. In your poem you have many comma's
and followed them with capitals which isn't nessasary.
Unless you meant for them to be on sparate lines like this. You might want to check out this link in order to learn how to do bitems. Best wishes.
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Sadness fills the house,
The rooms seem dark and small,
The silence is depressing as the
Children sit and morn.
Their faces filled with questions,
Their eyes are full of tears,
Yesterday is vanishing because
Their friend has disappeared.
To them there’s no tomorrow if their
Buddy isn’t there,
To them there’s no tomorrow
And they’ve ceased to even care.
Thank you for entering your story in this weeks contest.
I have to thank you for clearing up the myth about the job of Human Resources Manager. Every time I speak to the very important Human Resources Manager, who happens to be a member of my family I'll have to run out side because I don't really want to hurt his feelings and by laughing every time he tells us how busy his job is.
This was a great read and a bigger laugh. Thanks for sharing. Hope to see you with another one next week.
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Thank you for submiting your story for this weeks contest.
I found 'The Birth of Roy,' a enjoyable read and I was very much into your characters. I thought the description of the house, the people who lived there and their descriptions very visual and not a bit over done. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to the next sketch.
Sincerely
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Great take on the Big Eddie character, you made a hit with me with this character analyses. I can't wait until you've written the story to find out just what it
is that Big Eddie doesn't want to make look all messy like. Looking forward to reading it.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What an interesting story you've written, It was a good read from beginning to end. I see that is about someone in history or is it fiction? It reads very well and for it length I could have read on! For it kept me on the edge of my chair wondering if ever she would get away from those awful people. Thank you for sharing.
I did not see any errors or grammar that needed correction. Please write on and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Thank you so much for this beautiful story of such lasting love. I think back to how it would have been
had my own parents lived to see fifty years together.
My own Father passed shortly after my Mother, they'd
been married twenty-five years and loved one another until the end. She at forty-seven and he at forty-nine.
Too young, younger then I am now. Thank you for sharing, I hope this story will not end here!
Great writing as always a joy to read your work.
Sincerely
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Love this one, I think I'm going to love your port.
Please enter some of your work in the Newbie Challenge
Contest. I think it will get you a lot of exposure for your own group. That is if you'd like too. Great writing.
Best Wishes
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I love this little Winter poem!
I wish I could write music I
think it would be a song I'd
like to sing. I can't see anything
I'd change, except break it up into
two stanza's, maybe center it, and
give it a little ML color. But if
not it speaks very well own it's own.
Thank you for sharing and welcome to
Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Marlena
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Well I guess most of your poll voters didn't remember
bambi, or Old yeller, but I certainly do. But I
guess that was back in the day! I thought it was
cute and I was just a little curious to see how
many would remember Bambi. I loved that little
foal. Thanks for sharing it was a delight.
Sincerely
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Wow! First the title sucked me in, then I read the piece and I felt the waves as they rushed over me,
tasted the salty water as it pulled me deeper into
it's belly. I will spoil the read for those that would like to read if I should go any further with all that I felt. Thank you for sharing this work of art and please continue the great writing.
Sincerely
This piece is beautifully written, and so very timely.
I love the flow and beat is so intime to what is going on in our world today. This is a new side of you and your great writing skills. Thank you for sharing it's always a pleasure.
One little typo, nothing to deter from the piece
Lead me not into thinking that one has any to do with the other, 'should be anything.' Great read write on.
Marlena
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Very lovely,
Just a few words can go
a very long way.
I could see a visual
picture in my mind of
a face in the glass,
as the camera fades to
black. Funny how that
works. I enjoyed it very
much keep up the writing
spirit.
Sincerely
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This is lovely,
I hope the person you wrote this about
can see the love and devotion that you
have for her. You have a beautiful way
of expressing yourself and fitting them
into just the right timing, rhyming and
rhythm. Please continue to write and welcome
to Writing.Com
M Duci
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You have a beautiful little spirit, and just hold
your head up high and let them know you are just
the right size.
Your writing is a gift from God' continue to understand that. Hope you'll find your way around
our loving community before long! You'll make many
wonderful friends on Writing.Com. God' Bless take
care.
Sincerely
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I can see by your handle that you are a very
special Angel. Your writing also say's to me
that you are very special Pet Lover56.
I guess many of us would like to know the reasons
and answer's to many of your questions. But it
is wonderful that we all can see or feel the seasons
change, see the sunset and thank God' for the next
day. Thank you so much for sharing, and welcome to
Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I truly loved your play of words in this piece, it is
very well written and a great read. I see no errors of
any kind, good luck in the Challenge Contest.
Sincerely
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Welcome O' Wizard to the Newbie Challenge Contest.
With this priceless poem you have touched my spirit, and my soul. This so beautifully worded and the meter is just right on. Thank you so much for sharing this
beauty. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
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I truly love the stories of the supernatural, and this one is very good. I think it would read a little better if you could place the characters in your story on their own line, that way it wouldn't all run together. This is just a suggestion. Over all I thought it very well written. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
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I think the first word out of my mouth was Wow! This was indeed very heavy and touched my heart for the trust that was placed in this person. Only for him to take it all away, I hope that time has come, and healed the hurts and restored those he did the most damage to, the one's that loved him most.
Very well written and no errors anywhere. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
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What a lovely tribute to your Mother, the picture you've painted of her is one of loveliness and she
must have been a joy to you and your brother. I like
you believe that she is guiding you along your path and will keep you safe beside her. Thank you for sharing this lovely story. Good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
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