My dear, I'm still wiping away the tears your story
has caused. It is heart wrenching and so beautifully
written. I applaud your honesty, and respect your truthfulness about the pain of addiction. I pray for all the Donnie's of the world and I will keep you in
my prayers always. You are a wonderful and gifted writer and I welcome you to WDC, and hope you'll become an active member of our community. I will visit
your port again soon to read more of your work.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I have seen the movie 'The Color Purple' and I have also read the book by Alice Walker. I have to admit that abuse and violence of any kind make me sick to the stomach. I remember it well, but I could never sit through it again, even though I thought the acting was brought to life outstandingly by Danny Glover, Whoopi Goldberg, and the entire cast. My personal feeling is that it should not be banned from high schools for the subject matter, but I don't think it would something for the under eighteen year old readers to read as a part of American Lit. Class either. It is not for everyone. But that is just my own opinion, the children of today have been exposed to so much more of life then I was as a young adult, and I not sure that was so good either. Thank you for sharing the 'Color Purple' with us. Great writing, great essay, I hope you get that upgrade because you're an exceptional writer.
Sincerely
M Duci
Hi Ashton,
I like what you had to say about L.A. I live about
60 miles east of Los Angeles in a place called Corona/Norco. But I was born in Venice, Cal. when there was no smog, and very few homeless people in
our city. But, things happened to our city of angels,
bad government, bad people not just from L.A. but from all over the world.
They came like you say, to find a dream for themselves and their families. Some found the dream, some became big movie stars, some became scam artists, luring people to our city with big promises and bigger dreams, some became homeless. They don't all come from our city either, they come from every state, every country.
One as you know is our governor, he came from another country, and became a big movie star, and he found his dream. Now he is the big cheese of California, and he has done little to improve matters.
But, one thing that did make me smile about your story! Was, seeing an Asian man selling flowers, for a dollar! anywhere in California. But I did enjoy reading, and getting another eye view of how we look to other's who come to fulfill their dreams. But one should never give up their dreams, and if they truly believe in themselves! They can make those dreams a dream come true. I've seen it happen.
When I first started to read your story, I thought you were talking about New Orleans, LA. When we write L.A.
we put a period between the two letters so we don't get confused with the other LA. But than I saw the word smog, and knew you were referring to us. You are right about the things that have happened to L.A....Please keep writing and please don't let a few defer your dreams keep believing and keeping.
You might want to put a period after completing your
sentences. But you speak the truth...thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Oh! What a wonderful story of growing up on that beautiful Island. I have heard of your Island from
a friend of mine many years a ago. He taught me about
the houses on stilts and the customs of the people.
How he used to go fishing with his father and friends. About his mother who made him study, study, study. He came to the US after school and became a nutritionist.
I hope that you are given an upgrade and that you'll continue your writing with WDC. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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This is lovely in the broadest sense of the word. Your words speak loud and clear the meaning of a love better off left unfulfilled, but! unable to let
go of for the need is to strong, the love to deep. I like the vagueness you leave us with even though I wish there were more! Also, I would like to see a formatt, where the words you put the emphasis on such as, Probability, Circumstance, Vulnerability, and Perception,stand out. The words are strong, and the meaning leaves the imagination to conclude for them selves. Good work, and welcome to Writing.com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Oh! my, how beautiful to read, how beautifully written.
This is one of the most beautiful poems I've seen written on this genre. I must tell you it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up and I felt small goose pimples down my arms as I read. So, much said in such a small space. Keep it up, awesome. I will visit your port and read more of your outstanding work. Welcome to Writing.Com
Sincerely
M Duci
This is awesome and so timely. This is a poem that
should be published for all the young women, and young men of the world to read.
I, for one special moment placed myself in that high chair and looked at the world from that infant seat, I felt your concern for what are we teaching our young, for who are their mentors, and who are their teachers? As a parent, as a grand-parent, my thoughts go out to the young ones of my own children, and I gather them close to me and wish they didn't have to be exposed, but they must, and I must continue to pray that they will be the best they can and want to be in the years to come. Thank you Florence for sharing this lovely piece with us. I also detect a bit of slam, in the verse is that correct? Look forward to reading more of you work in the future, and Welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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Angelo,
I like this poem very much, you have given me
a deep feeling that this love could very well
be, but on the other hand I get the feeling that
it is somehow for the moment a little one sided.
The second stanza 'Love has taken me, how about you?'
leaves me wondering if she feels this same
compassion! why do you need to ask, it should
be ovbious if she feels it too. Good writing, keep it up.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Very beautiful poem on the enviroment that man
has created in his wake. I too look around me
in the hills of Corona, Cal. where I live and
see the solitary eagle that fly's above me,
and I wonder what it would be like to see more
then this single, all alone creature soaring high
above us. Thank you for sharing this beautiful
piece and welcome to WDC. Beautiful writing.
Sincerely
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Very lovely piece, and you certainly let the emotions
fly. I thought your writing was well thought out, only
one little thing 'can not' maybe should be 'cannot'
Keep up the great writing,
I wish you luck in the contest.
I also love all the names of
your sisters and of course yours.
Welcome to WDC, and you will have fun
here.
Sincerely
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Beautiful, both versions. But if I had to choose
I think it would be version number two. Number
two gives me a deeper look into the 'He,' and what is
is you wish to convey. Thank you for the two versions
and thank you for sharing this piece. I look forward to reading more of your work soon.
Sincerely
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Very lovely, and painstakingly done. Haiku, is not
easy to write in any form, but you have made it look
so easy. Congratulations and keep up the wonderful writing. Also welcome to Writing.Com. I saw this poem on the read a newbie page and now I'll stop by and visit your port and see what other wonderful words you've written.
Sincerely
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Great little rhyming poem, but not over done, not at
all. I love it I really loved the lines that read,
'You're my blue sky that never turns gray,
My flower that never fades away, winter, spring nor fall.' Would that be or/nor not sure what you mean.
But wonderful expression of love and happiness.
Thank you for sharing.
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You really know how to bring a person to the brink of
tears. This piece is running over with emotion, I am not complaining! just filled with tears. I love your writing and I hope you'll never stop. You've spoken for all the lost children in the world, children that deserve so much more. Thank you for sharing this piece with us.
Sincerely
M Duci
Hi Sowe,
What an amazing story and told so very well. Wouldn't it be wonderful if life could really be this way at least for a little while? I loved your story of course,
but I think you might want to put each character on it's own line. Maybe change sibblings, now and then to
sister and brother. Sibblings, become's a little redundant after awhile. This would make a very nice series and children and adults alike will like it. I think you have put the rating to high, 13+ should work for this one. No bad or foul words could I find. Keep
writing.
Sincerely
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I think everyone has a little Jeanette inside of them. I enjoyed 'For Jeanette' so very much. You, let the imagination take a little trip in Dorothy's land, and
let me imagine the glass slippers and the magic clicking of the heels. I could see it all so clearly, at rainbows end. Thank you for sharing this lovely piece on growing not older, but wiser. Returning your GPS with this review.
Sincerely
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What a beautiful, haunting, tail of love you have
spun here. You, have a wonderful way of sucking
a person right into your story and keeping them
a willing prisoner until the end. Oh! my, I have so
many favorite lines I don't know which one I like
the best but this one I just love, Love, 'I'll be
your rock, your truth, your trust, but never your
doormat. Don't walk over me, I won't step on you.'
Such image showing, such rhythm.
Thank you for sharing
Hello Tara,
And Welcome to Writing.Com. This is a very love filled and tearfull piece. Yes, I think heaven must be filled
with our angel's. For a young woman of only sixteen
you have such a wonderful gift for expressing your feelings and putting them down in writing. Please continue to write, express, and excell. You've made a wonderful choice in coming to the WDC, and we are here to help with all your WDC needs.
Sincerely
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I love your poem, but I really like your last stanza, and these famous lines will stand out in my mind for a very long time.
'I'm the Marco Polo of your flesh, the columbus of your nerves.' I can tell she means the whole world to
you. I think it is strong, and keep writing. Welcome to the WDC.
Sincerely
M Duci
Dear Mike,
When, I was in my early years...I wrote something
a bit like your story ending. I let menbers of my
family read it just to get there facial expressions.
Now, I felt like they did. I could not stop laughing.
You are so talented, and I love your style.
Thank you for making my day. Even today, people ask,
what did I do with that story I wrote more than 30 years ago. So, like mine your's will stay the course.
Keep writing.
M Duci
What a lovely piece of work. Fine job in discribing
your homeland. I am a travel agent and tour director, to Italy, and Europe. I have sent many clients to visit Zambia's Victoria Falls, but have never had the chance to see it for myself. But your discription makes me want to catch the very next plane to Zambia, I will put that on my list of places to go.
Thank you very much for such an enjoyable read.
M Duci
Thank you ScaryMaster, your tips have been very helpful and I will certainly put them to good use.
Like you say; "your family can read them anytime", so,
I'll send them to my newsgroup and other friends.
I'll also post it on every e-mail I send out.
Thanks again
M Duci
I respect your writting. This was a very good piece.
Keep up the good work. I'd love to come back and read
more. So, write, write, write. I have written a poem
that match's your story very much. It's about someone
I love so completely, and with all my heart, she live's in another country, and I live in the US. But we see each other about every 8 0r 9 months when I take small groups to Italy.
Mar Duci
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