I loved your poem and found no typo's anywhere.
The only thing I could see that may make it even
more beautiful would be to separate it into four
line stanza's, center and add a lovely color.
It's a wonderful read and I wish you luck in the
Newbie Challenge.
Sincerely
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You have chosen the right place to pour out your heart, and just let yourself go. To let go of your
fears, anger and heartbreak for the loss of one so
dear. At times like this there is little that can be
said to console, but know that you will always have
a family here at Writing.Com. Continue to write and
soon you'll have a bit of peace.
Sincerely
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I have to tell you that this story hit me so very hard because I've just recently gone through one such tragedy, and the emotions were still so fresh.
But once I became calm I read right to the end. Your
story was so beautiful told and gently prepared the reader for the ending. thank you so much for sharing
and Good luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest.
Sincerely
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May none of go back to the old let us all continue into the new!
I can imagine my young grandson singing this happy tune today as he recoups from a Kidney Transplant that
he's waited for since he was seven years old. A few month's ago on his fourteenth birthday, he felt in his heart that he would get one this year and he did three days ago today. So, before I go to see him tomorrow, I'll give him your words that will fit like a glove.
Thank you for sharing.
Marlena
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I look so forward to reading more on the story of
Simon Peter. I, having been raised in the Catholic
Church know much about the coming and going of Jesus
apostate Simon Peter and Andrew his brother the 'Fishermen of Men.' Thank you so much for this introduction of the Man who was to become the first Pope of the Roman Catholic Church. What a great choice to write about Peter, of the all the twelve disciples.
A little more detail on why Simon was unable to move or speak would be helpful in the story.
I refer to the line where he could not move or speak:Simon wanted to just leave this man and return to his family, but he couldn’t move. He could hear James call to him from the shore but couldn’t respond.
This would be my take on it:
'I believe he realizes he is in the presence of the messiah and so humbles himself, from which he can neither move nor speak.'
Wonderful read please write on, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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This piece was beautifully written and greatly worded, I cannot tell you how often I have seen such mean reviews done right on our public pages! Enough sometimes to take me to see just who the reviewer is or what they have written, that makes them write such a mean review to someone who like themselves is learning his/her craft. I thank you so much for this wonderful tool, and pray that I'll always remember to be more help then hinder. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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I love this piece! I gives me a clear insight to what and whom God' is, I also believe that he has placed his own special Angels in our paths to help to guide us in our every day. We are a large nation of earthly beings, so imagine how many Angels there must be right down here on earth. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
M Duci
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My Angel (13+) Written for a very special friend who helped saved me when I was in trouble. #934036 by angel2blue
This is just perfect, I loved it from top to bottom,
bottom to top. A perfect read deserves a perfect five.
This is not an easy form to write, and I can see the time and love you put into this little cutie.
I love the Springtime, and watch as new buds unfold after a long winter sleep. Thank you for sharing. I'll be back to your port to read those other forms.
Sincerely
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What a great little story! Seems there is a Sister Carola in every perish in the world.
I grew up in So. California, I attended several parochial schools in my in my day.
There she was! Sister Carola, with a different name, but the same wonderful, delightful, full figured sister in black and white. I must give most of the credit for who I am today to my Mom and Dad, but the other/half to the sister Carola’s of the many parishes’ I attended over the years. Funny how you don't think too much about those times until you read a wonderful story like this one! Then it all comes back. Yes, we had one who taught band and played the Tuba. It was awesome. Thanks for the memories and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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Welcome to Writing.Com. I love this poem of the Indigo Fox. One of the few time I like to look at my TV is to watch the Discovery Channel. I seem to feel when it's going to be showing the sly fox. He never fails to amaze me with all the things that he will do to survive. Thank you for sharing this lively fox's tale, and hope you have more like this one on your site. I'll be dropping by to visit again real soon.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a cutie, I loved the rhyme and the rhythm was so great, I could almost hear the sound of a distant drum.
You kept it moving and I could have read on until the early light.
You are a gifted poet of which I'm certain and don't ever stop writing. I'll come to visit your port again very soon. Welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a lovely poem of love and ecstasy. I love the choice of words used in your work and I too have let my imagination take it's place and what I've come away with is a beautiful painting by a wonderful gifted artist. Continue the great work and give us more to come in search of finding inside your port. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Only tiny typo's did I see and that is the need to cap. all your I's. Great read.
Sincerely
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I must confess! I stopped by yesterday, to read your entrant, and thought I’d give you sometime to fix a few things before rating this piece. Oh! My how glad I am that I did! What a delightful story laid before my eyes, one told by a Master Story Teller. This is a great piece and I look forward to reading a lot more of your work very soon. Thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. Good luck in the Challenge.
Sincerely
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I think this is a good character study of this women Sally Gulford.
But I feel it could be a great character study if you would leave something to your readers imagination. The fact that she is not a frills person, yet she drives this great car, that some would die for, yet she is or she isn't. So, something's might be better left unsaid.
For instance:
'Her hair is a rich brown colour, the sort of brown most women pay for, but the richness is muted by the remnants of blonde. There is a hint of style, perhaps from a long-past hairdresser visit,'
To much information. Needs to be cut a little.
These are just suggestions.
Good luck in the challenge, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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This was such a sad story, filled with so much pain, aloneness, rejection and self-loathing.
My heart weeps for this person, who feels they are of no worth to anyone.
I pray that one day they may be able to reach out and ask for help before it is too late.
Very well written, with only one error ‘mouldering’ I think it should be ‘moldering.
Sincerely
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What a beautifully told story of the loss of a child,
and how the parents got through it.
The love and tenderness expressed by both husband and wife came through your characters very well.
I only had a small question about this paragraph:
'That day, John was trying to keep her mind off it all with his nervous talking and bumbling jokes while she grasped onto the hand he offered for dear life, measuring her breath in short puffs, muscles constricting with near excruciating waves of pain as her heart clenched in fearful joy and exhilaration .'
This seems to be a very long sentence, maybe you could
put a period after 'jokes.' Leave 'while off' 'She grasped the hand he offered holding it tightly.' 'The excruciating pain sending wave after wave of pain through out her body.'
I'm not sure about I how feel about 'fearful joy and exhilaration.' Could someone feel this way while in so much pain? These are just my suggestions.
Over all a very good story, and kept my interest. Thank you for sharing. Good luck in the challenge.
Sincerely
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This is a real cutie, from beginning to end. I love that measuring tape toting Mother.
You might want to take a look at some of the cap's that may not be necessary to make it work.
I couldn't take off for the caps; it's just a great
read. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Sincerely
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This is a very lovely sad song. It makes me feel that a
love is lost and a heart is broken beyond repair. It's always sad to hear a heartbreaker. I like the chorus very much also! Great piece.
You've done a splendid job on the writing, and good
luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest.
Sincerely
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Yes I can remember just yesterday! How the years do go ever so quickly. Sometimes; I wonder would I do them all again just to see those little hands and dimpled feet? Ahhhhhhh! I think not, now that they have little darlings I can hold and send home .
I loved your poem and I'm so glad you have entered it into the Newbie Challenge, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend. I hope that someday soon, the children and the family will be able to heal with this sadness and tragedy that has taken over their lives. It is always so sad when a young life is taken because of someone else's folly.
I am sure if they could read your poem they would know just how much they are missed, and cared for.
Thank you for entering the Newbie Challenge and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
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I normally have a weak stomach for little Toe Jam,
remedies, but this little cutie went so fast I never had time for the willies.
I found no errors and like you said the rhyming was very, very. Good luck in the Newbie Challenge Contest, and welcome to Writing.com.
Sincerely
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This I think would make even Shakespeare bend and bow on bended knee to the Sonnet of Gabriella! This is so tender and so refined. I just can't seem to fine the right words to tell you how much I love this one. I would define it as a short Sonnet that tells the whole story about this one love so sweet.
Bravo, Bravo! "Parting is such sweet sorrow" William Shakespeare. I like yours just as well if not better, and I love his. Good job, well done just for fun.
I know this word is much over used! But you've just blown me away.
Sincerely
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What a sad and tender story of a love lost. And of one
trying to move on with their life. The bitter sweet comes across much like the tiny glass breaking into a thousand pieces. The words you've chosen worked so well together, I loved the rhythm and for some reason I loved these lines the best:
'Your eyes glazed green
I glance
Your stare.
I know why'
Keep up the great writing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
M Duci
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What a beautiful mind you have! What a delight it was to read this refreshing poem told so beautiful, by using the voice of a child to speak and to be spoken too, by that round glorious light of our Sun. I love the way you gave the child it's own color, and the Sun it's own color. Thank you so much for sharing, and welcome to Writing.Com.
Best Wishes
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Hello Snowflake 
.
but this little cutie went so fast I never had time for the willies.