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1,502 Public Reviews Given
1,747 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello ashley.ivan

What an unusual form? Is this a set form or something you just created from the top of your head? Very interesting!

Some suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The only thing that threw me off was the extra (the) in the second line. I hadn't figured out your meanings yet and it was hard to relate it.

Overall, very fun form.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Ashes to ashes.  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Tam
Very cool flash fiction. I started out not liking your character's sarcastic tone, but in the end, loved it. Very well done.


Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*20's, 10's and fives ~ spell all numbers out

*Heart*Loved the phrase "like a bad song, great tune but, bad lyrics stuck in your head like someone had crazy glued it to your scalp" *Laugh*

Overall, well written.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Birth  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Carl S
Welcome to Writing.com!
What a beautiful birth story from a father's point of view. I agree, it's hard work! I remember the overwhelming joy of the moment and am glad you got to share the same special moment. Enjoy your little angel.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"thats when I began to panic" ~ that's
*Bullet*Perhaps write about your feelings before Maria started in labor.

Overall, a beautiful moment shared.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Strong Women  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello Michelle Jeanette

I've picked this item to review during the Mad Mod Review Raid!

I didn't notice at first what category this was in but thought it was lyrics. This could be a song! Somehow shades of Frank Sinatra and I Did It My Way came to mind. Perhaps because it seems to gain strength throughout the poem. I guess it's something to consider.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Two lines are not capitalized.

Overall, an interesting poem.

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello ImaginaryCows

I've picked this item to review during the Mad Mod Review Raid!

I admire the imagery you created with your poem. You captured an image of the semi-light just before spring. My favorite line was the last one, the frigid green soldiers that sleep in their bowers. Very nice!

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The line ending in strife seems a bit forced to rhyme.

Overall, you captured a natural moment quite well.

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hello Galen Dane

I've picked this item to review during the Mad Mod Review Raid!

This poem really touched my heart. You found the perfect words for these emotions. I like how you touched on the dream, the feelings, and then wrapped up the works with a lovely reassurance.

I can't make comment on the technical form of the poem, I'm not an expert.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a wonderfully touching write. I hope to read more of your work.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of From This Window  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello jennie marsland
Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you're finding your way around and enjoy our community. Congrats on finishing your novel!

The review:

You created a beautiful poignant image with your poetry. I really admire your work. I don't know if your poem has a specific form but I like the rhythm and images you created. It felt very nostalgic, especially when you repeated the last line. An apropos image of long lost memories.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, very well done. I look forward to reading more.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of White Noise  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Layne
An interesting palindrome. I'm familiar with headaches, I'm not sure how this related. To me it felt more like a relationship than a headache. Perhaps that's just my view of the poem. No sound - white noise makes me think of when a TV station goes off air for some reason.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, I look forward to reading more of your work. Welcome to Writing.com.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Jackson's Funeral  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello udontno
A sad tribute to one lost so young. I don't know how one finds the strength to write these types of things. God bless. One never knows what and when such horrible things could happen and to someone fine like a Boy Scout. I hope fond memories sustain you and help dissipate your grief.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, I think Jackson would be proud of your writing.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of MY Million Masks  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello *insert_stereotype_here*
I thought I'd stop in and let you know I really liked this poem.
It raised thoughts in me: Don't we all wear masks?
I think of the man who sat in front of me at church and then gave me the one finger salute in the parking lot. *Laugh*

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 1: Suggest "want to" instead of "wanna".
*Bullet*Line 6: Why is Remain capitalized?
*Bullet*Line 3, 8, 14, 21, 22, 29, 30: "I" should always be capitalized.
*Bullet*Line 24: Why is Fearing capitalized?
*Bullet*Line 28: Why is Yet capitalized?
*Bullet*Line 32: Capitalize Hell.
*Heart* I liked the concept from line "I feel the mask I wear" ~ How weighty they can be!
*Heart*Awesome last line!!! I imagine a gothic painting of masks littered on a darkened forest floor. Good work.

Overall, an interesting poem with some great images.

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Lady Yellowbanks

An adorable poem! I could see the chattering flock swirling like a cloud over the dirt clods picking at the feast. Great imagery, I thought of starlings.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"Jillions" seems a bit out of place.

Overall, nice writing. Welcome to Writing.com. I hope to read more in your portfolio. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
A patriotic signature.
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello terremoto
I liked the rhythm and tempo of your poem. It felt almost as if you read it aloud, your breath would get shorter and shorter.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"Fights to smell" seems like a short line.
*Bullet*The last line, suggest taking out "And".
*Bullet*The eighth stanza seems broken up.

Overall, I like the feeling you created with your work. Well done.

Regards,
Kim
A patriotic signature.
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Review of Poetry Slam  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Jolly_McJ

A great write! I enjoyed your humorous alliteration mostly.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:


Overall, an enjoyable read. You had me smiling and laughing.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of An Animal Tale  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Mollie :

I tried your madlib and it turned out pretty funny. I entered all the words as suggested and the story worked out well.

Suggestion for edit:
*Bullet*The sentence "If you have ever seen a ____ drool, that was me that day." was a bit confusing.

Overall, your madlib was very entertaining, thanks for posting!

Regards,
Kim
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Review of US Presidents  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there!
What a fun challenge to find all the presidents in your word search puzzle. It took me 4:06 to finish the puzzle. I guess I must have paid a little attention in history class, I recognized quite a few before I had to refer to the list *Laugh* Thanks for posting this challenge.
Write on!
Regards,
Kim
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Review of Types of Flowers  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi there!
I had fun searching for all your flower words in your word search puzzle. I love gardening so it was especially interesting to me. Although I have always spelled dafodil as "daffodil" Also, the queen anne word seems to have a bug in it. Perhaps you had an apostrophe there? Anyhow, I finished the puzzle in 3:06. Thanks for posting it.
Regards,
Legerdemain
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello David McClain

This was a very enjoyable story. You showed the bittersweet emotion of Jason and Mary's relationship to an excellent degree. I just wrote a newsletter about contemporary setting and unusual voices and this story definitely proves my point.

Your descriptions were believable. I liked how you wrote about possible leaps of faith. I wonder how many women would actually jump on a plane?

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*I rated this 4.5 only because I found some of the "in person" dialog a bit stilted.

Overall, an excellent story.

Regards,
Kim
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Review of It Won't Be Long  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.0)
Hello doctor who
I liked the devotion I felt in your poetry.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Most lines with the word "that" can have "that" removed *Smile*
*Bullet*The same goes for the word "but".

Overall, I liked the way the emotions came full circle at the end of the poem. It touched me as a heartfelt message to someone you love. Well done!

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello dannoden
I enjoyed your first chapter tremendously. It has the promise of an interesting story. You did well creating your setting and introducing your characters. I didn't read your prologue and I grasped the story quite fine without it. Write on!

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*which looked when viewed in full light like it might be a star-sapphire It seems better to say "which, when viewed in full light, looked like a star-sapphire".
*Bullet*"The nose reminded him of Dick Tracy's" ~ While I'm just barely old enough to remember Dick Tracy, some of your younger readers may not.
*Bullet*Kaelin's dialog seems a bit stilted. Perhaps it's purposeful, since he is an alien being.

Overall, a great beginning! Keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
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Review of Thirteen  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello stevek
What a lovely tribute to your daughter!
This will be something she treasures forever.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 2: Soles should be souls, unless you're talking about feet.
*Bullet*Line 5: Angle should be angel, since she seems so sweet.
*Bullet*Line 11: Too many commas!
*Bullet*"I love you court" Court should be capitalized.

Overall, Daddy did a wonderful job telling the world about his sweet daughter. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Emily
How inspiring! I liked your poem. It convinced me that spring may actually be on its way and chase away these cold winter doldrums. I liked the images you created as the grass grew and breezed into summer.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*The point of view changes from "I" to "we" as the poem progresses. Was that intentional?

Overall, I enjoyed the lovely write.

Regards,
Kim
Sig which I animated.
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Review of Success: Doubtful  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello A.Sharma
Hey! I liked this poem!
For such few words and short lines, you made an impression on me.
I felt the poem had strength. Nice work.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Perhaps punctuate.
*Bullet*The word "will" is used several times. I would suggest a substitute or two.

Overall, the work had a definite impact on me. Keep writing!

Regards,
Kim
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Review of I'm Not Worth It  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (2.0)
Hello csdancer
You did a good job of capturing the feelings of desolation and sadness in your poem. I liked how it ended on a more positive note.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet* (i) is not correct. (I) should always be capitalized. Please correct in poem and brief description.
*Bullet* "dreadfuly" should be "dreadfully"
*Bullet* "turrning" should be "turning"
*Bullet* "begining" should be "beginning"

Overall, you presented an emotion well but need to correct your spelling.

Regards,
Kim

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Review of Cries  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello deep blu see
You've painted vivid images with your poetry in this work. I enjoyed the comparison of life and death. I've never thought of them being so similar.
My favorite line was: "a cross’s shadow receives a mother’s tears"

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a stunning write with great imagery! I hope to read more. Write on!

Regards,
Kim

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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello I dont know what this is.
This is a very amusing essay! You present your argument for the fork quite clearly. This would be a great submission to a college magazine. Lots of students could relate! No matter the technique, I think readers will enjoy this article.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"Eating Kraft Dinner with a spoon is like selling out." ~ Isn't this contradictory?
*Bullet*Just what do the 18% who don't use a fork or spoon use? *Laugh*

Overall, I enjoyed your article. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
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