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1,502 Public Reviews Given
1,747 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I like to be honest and write about how I feel and what I see. It doesn't mean I'm always right - it means I'm telling you how your work affects me. I'll try to tell you the good with the bad, but don't expect fluff. Fluff sucks.
I'm good at...
Looking at format, spelling and some punctuation...except commas. I hate commas.
Least Favorite Genres
Technical essays, overly detailed fantasies and poetry.
I will not review...
Items that show no obvious effort at editing before promoting for review. If you spell "i" instead of "I", I will close the page and not review it. We're not idiots here.
Public Reviews
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301
301
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hello TiffyAnn12
I picked out your story because the description intrigued me. This was quite an interesting sci-fi story. I liked the point of view you chose, the underling men.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*It would be interesting to "know" what the boys did until their first D-Day.
*Bullet*It wasn't clear why you chose to call it "Donation-Day" since the men chose their professions then.

Overall, a great chapter.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **

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Review of The Bracelet  
Review by Legerdemain
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello rjsimonson

What a charming contest story! (LOL, pun intended.) I found your item on the Reading page so I'm not sure if you place in the contest but the story was enjoyable.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*“Lee, do you like bracelets? I have one here I think you should look at, I think it would look great on you. It practically calls your name; just give me a minute to find it.” ~ Suggest removing the second "think", go with "It would look great on you."
*Bullet*"He was pleased with my progress, and wanted to see me back in another Month to see if I had continued my progress." ~ No need to capitalize "Month".
*Bullet*“I really don’t know. Nor do I care if you’re ok.” ~ Suggest a comma after "care".

Overall, an adorable story.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284499 Unavailable **

303
303
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Tina Crain

What a sweet rhyme to bring attention to your subject of autism.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 7 doesn't seem to need a comma after sure.
*Bullet*Line 11 "I" should be "It".
*Bullet*Line 14 "Thak" should be "Thank".

Overall, a few simple edits and your work is done. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
Visit Leger's port!
304
304
Review of Living With Mom  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Lexi Butterfly ~♥

Welcome to the site! I liked your amusing poem about a parent and son's point of view. I chuckled when reading it.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Your brief description below the title: "but" should be "butt" if you meant his backside. *Wink*
*Bullet*Second couplet: "hobbie" should be "hobby"
*Bullet*Fourth pair: "apartment" should be "apartment"
*Bullet*Sixth group: "collage" should be "college"
*Bullet*Eighth couplet: "mucsules" should be "muscles"
*Bullet*It's very helpful to do a spell check on your item, it's on the black bar below the title /Spell/.

Overall, adorable write. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1549526 Unavailable **
305
305
Review of Frontispiece  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello MelanieD

What an amusing write! I liked the format of the poem, it felt right for the subject.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"Vibrissa" would only be one hair, wouldn't it be "vibrissae" for more?
*Bullet*I'm not sure "mustacchio" is spelled correctly.

Overall, a delightful read.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1549526 Unavailable **
306
306
Review of Tempest  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hello Ken
I like how your work often contains a smile. It makes a reader want to go on and read another, and another. *Smile* This poem was a good example of onomatopoeia. The toilet part, true and amusing. Have you been in a tornado?

No suggestions for edit *Cut*.

Overall, good work fitting in the required words and making it rhyme. Not always an easy feat...lol.
Write on!

Regards,
Kim
A March signature.
307
307
Review of JOHNNY  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello RICH

This is delightfully amusing and I'd love to read more about your precocious Johnny.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Some technical clean up, spacing issues throughout.
*Bullet*The canary part was very funny! *Laugh*
*Bullet*The candles part, would the students call the teacher "Teach"? Hard to say.

Overall, precious and funny.

Regards,
Kim
A March signature.
308
308
Review of nobody's baby  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Wink

A fanciful description of the fun before a shotgun wedding. In very few words you painted a lifetime picture. I liked the phrase "Ferris wheel kiss".

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*First line, caps in bABY.
*Bullet*Last line, the rest of the poem is double spaced so the single spacing feels off.

Overall, you painted an interesting picture.

Regards,
Kim
Sig which I animated.
309
309
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
And adorable poem! Who know budgies could be the masters of horror?

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"death by paper cut" ~ Threw me off, I wasn't sure how it related to the birds.
*Bullet*Last line, somehow ending the line in horror would seem to work better with the previous line. Just my opinion.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this bird poem, thanks for posting

Regards,
Kim
Happy Holidays!
310
310
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hello daver

Ohhhh...what a chiller! I especially enjoyed the pace of this story. Slow and calm, setting up the scene, then fast in the ending action. Well done!

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*P6 - "heheard" ~ simple edit, space needed
*Bullet*I was a bit confused about the basement setup. If the intruder broke in near the washer, would he have to open the door to Rick's basement bedroom? Would an intruder normally close the door behind him? The door appears to be closed with the intruder and Rick inside, when the mother comes down a few stairs. I understand Rick's not being able to attack the intruder, being dead.
*Heart*Good angel image, and loved the little twist at the end.

Overall, fabulous story, only needs a tiny edit.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1127711 Unavailable **
311
311
Review of Storm Beach  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello Paul

Welcome to Writing.com!

I really enjoyed your portrayal of a windswept beach. I opened your item because the beach is my favorite place, even a day like you described. My favorite image was "people lean, into the wind and out of the rain". Just loved how that sounded. I don't know if you used a specific form, but I liked the style.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, beautiful work. I loved the last sentences.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1284498 Unavailable **
312
312
Review of SALEM  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hello Onyx: a PURPLE MANIAC!

I enjoyed your poem, it created strong imagery in my mind. I thought your descriptive words were fitting and flowed well. All of the following suggestions are that, mere suggestions that I feel would make the work stronger.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Stanza 2: "blazing ~ blazed" / "the faces all etched"
*Bullet*Stanza 4: "the bodies of the accused
*Bullet*Stanza 5: Teetering, tumbling ~ teetered, tumbled.
*Bullet*Stanza 7: "the beast with two backs" ~ A reader may not know what this is.
*Bullet*Stanza 8: "she cried back at them"
*Bullet*Stanza 9: Lengthen last two lines, ie: for this beautiful girl / with flowing red hair
*Bullet*Stanza 12: no thing - nothing
*Bullet*Stanza 13: Attach last line to previous line.
*Bullet*Stanza 15: Take out second they in line 5.
*Bullet*Stanza 16: "to pass another wretched lie!"
*Bullet*Stanza 17: Line 1 - take out "the Reverend" Line 3 - end with period. Line 4 - Take out "and".
*Bullet*Last stanza: Suggest - It was of that night / The wind whispers in the leaves. The night a poor / beautiful girl.

Overall, a great write with wonderful imagery.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1346449 Unavailable **
313
313
Review of Winter  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Ritu

A poem with some pretty imagery. I like the phrase "dew drops shines like a pearl".

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 3 is a bit of a contradiction "innocent - naughtylike". Perhaps describe the tickling more, since you use naughty in the next line.
*Bullet*As said in comment above, "naughty" is redundant.
*Bullet*Line 5 ~ Again, an unnecessary repeat of "face", the second could be removed.
*Bullet*You don't have a rating on your poem. The rating could be [E]. Not having a rating on your item means it won't be listed on the public pages. The more listing your item has, the more reviewers will see it.

Overall, a sweet write.

Regards,
Kim
Review Bear signature
314
314
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Navneet

Your satire on Wall Street was very amusing. A shame though, that it has to be true. Perhaps your next write can be about Cox and the SEC. Or about short sellers driving a company down to $1 a share. *Smile*

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 5 ~ Stunned should not have a capital letter.

Overall, a good write. One has to laugh or one will cry.

Regards,
Kim
A patriotic signature.
315
315
Review of GROW  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Onyx: a PURPLE MANIAC!

This poem is a true gem. I was surprised, it started out as a classic form describing the magic of Spring but turned and became something much deeper. I really enjoyed reading this and can appreciate its depth and imagery. It gives one hope. I'd love to read more like this in your port.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, beautiful work. Kudos.

Regards,
Kim
Angel dream sig won in auction
316
316
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi silverfeathers

Very cool image! I especially like the highlight (or reverse shadow) on the shapes. The butterfly looked as though it was hard to color with the blended color in it. I can appreciate the small details like the thorns on the stem and the blue butterfly. The only criticism I have is for the second and third line of text, it doesn't stand out as strongly as the foreground images. One would assume you wanted the text to be of most importance since it is a cover image for a story.

Overall, beautiful work.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1095534 Unavailable **
317
317
Review of Behind sad eyes  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Ducttape Knight

An excellent rendition of a vampire's making. The special twist was your image of "sad eyes", which was very clever. I enjoyed the read. Perhaps you'll write more of Aurora's story, you've created an interesting character.

A suggestion for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Paragraph 10/12 - Some of your text is in italics which is not dialog.

Overall, a lovely short. Write on!

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hi Ben,
I left my corrections on the edit points. I did enjoy the story but it left me wanting more. I guess that's good!
Maybe add more bits of childhood memories? So there it is, take my edit suggestions and do what you want with them.
Keep writing!
Leger~

** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
319
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Review of FAITH  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello Cynthia_the_BunnyHamm

Welcome to the site!
I see you've conquered the acrostic poem, good work. Even though this one is quite simple, it's very poignant. I like simple.

This one is certainly pretty enough to be printed on a church banner or bulletin.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, a very pretty poem. Next try challenging yourself with a double acrostic. That's a tough one.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review of The Painter  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Daedalus

Isn't it so true, that mother nature is a painter. While everyone loves the display of autumn leaves, I have to say I love mother nature's delicate display in springtime too. I love how a large stand of trees in bud look with that sublte emerging color.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:
Your format, grammar and spelling was impeccable.

Overall, you created a beautiful image.
Welcome to Writing.com. Keep writing.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review of Heart of a Dragon  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Hello Trevor Moran

Funny how people only see the surface and don't take the time to delve deeper. And funny how the outside rarely reflects what is on the inside. I liked your prose. Very poignant.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 2 and 3: Capitalize "i", always.
*Bullet*Line 6: A sort of oxymoron. People look, but actually few people look beyond.

Overall, enjoyable work.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review of The Tree..  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello THe YErk
Welcome to Writing.com.
I liked your poem, the image of the tree. With some editing, it could be enjoyable.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 1: Did you mean "cease" instead of "seize"?
*Bullet*Line 9: Should it be "alone at last" or "alone and lost"?
*Bullet*Line 11: Is the word "over" necessary?

Overall, the image was a good idea.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello Daedalus

Welcome to Writing.com! Good to see you're posting your work right away.

I liked this work, very much. It felt lyrical to me. Did you intend it to have musical undertones? The images felt manic to me, interesting.

No suggestions for edit *Cut*:

Overall, I enjoyed the work, wished it had been longer, actually. I liked the images you were producing in my imagination.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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324
Review of Doggie Day Care  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hello twill.

Doggy Day Care sounds like a fun place to work. I can't imagine there ever being a dull day. I liked your prose and was surprised that you took a picture at the end.


Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*Line 7: "goof balls", for two Danes.
*Bullet*"Next to Grace is Cooper, who breathes in" ~ Move "in" to next line.

Overall, an interesting cast of canine characters.

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
325
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Review of Crimson Release  
Review by Legerdemain
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hello Cheyers

I could feel the emotions expressed in the poetry, as the narrator feels the need for self injury.

Some suggestions for edit *Cut*:
*Bullet*"over-coming" ~ No hyphen, one word.
*Bullet*Perhaps arrange Lines 9,10, 11 like this:
Looking down
Stained in blood
Your little pleasure tool

Overall, good descriptive work. Also as a informative note, anyone who needs help with self-injury - the US national hotline is 1-800- DONT CUT (1-800-366-8288)

Regards,
Kim
** Image ID #1070226 Unavailable **
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