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Review of To Awaken  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Delight* Welcome to WDC Christopher! Congrats on posting your first items. *Delight*


*Fairy*The title appealed to me as it has a philosophical theme and the notion of awakening consciousness leading to acceptance of what is, is cool! I enjoyed the fanciful images and lines like "cuddle the understanding" and "let the stars gossip"! Original concepts.

*Fairy* I notice the word "pedals" should be "petals" if referring to the rose. The other is for a bike. *Wink*

*Fairy* The free style suit the content and your enjambments were emphatic and effective. eg. like "Now" and "but".

*Star* It is an evocative peice and one worth pondering with its intriguing metaphors. I liked the practical ending. It is hopeful and inspirational. *Smile*

Thanks for your sharing your vision and keep on writing as the muse leads! *Star*
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Review of Outside-in  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (3.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Blonde! Thanks for posting your first item at WDC brave author! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! You really caught the intensity of this moment. Beginning even a short line story with dialogue and emotion is a good hook to make us want to read on. The vivid verbs like "bawled" and "mumbled" add clarity to the tone of the characters voices.

*Shock2* I assume the second quote was what the mother mumbled and from the words from both characters there is indeed a conflict and it seems they are at real odds. What the mom speaking about the girl or someone else? It seemed like the girl is in overexcited state and the mom more low toned. I would love to know more about what is going on and what will happen. I can see this could be extended into a whole drama. *Smile*

*Quill* Sentence structure, use of quotes and punctuation is good.
I would put the mom's speech on a new line. The rule generally is each speaker has their own line for ease of identification. *Wink*

*Star* You captured my imagination and interest and leave me to ponder the rest of the story. It has the feel of a flash fiction yet not enough detail. Will there be more?

*Heart*Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I am rating a three for the craft and evocation, though It is not really a complete story yet. Hope you will continue writing. *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Michelle! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Star* What a unique theme for a flash fiction story. The idea that bees use a whole mountain is so appealing and it is creative how you have your character move through the hive. *Thumbsup* It would be a wonderous thing to see and you did a good job of describing what he sees there. The image of sleeping in a cell gave me a chill. I mean what if the bees came back? Good ploy! It kept me reading. He was brave to go in considering there might be bees. I assume he saw it empty because they were off gathering? *Smile*

*Quill*I notice that in the second line, "there was" needs to be "there were".

*Mountainsb* I like how you slowly reveal Rossco's motivation for taking the risk and explain the worth of the honey. It was appealing to have a comical twist at the end. I burst out laughing at the larva as it was so unexpected! Good job! The last line ended with his bit of wisdom. *Thumbsup*

*Star* I had fun reading this and how you made the whole notion so real, applying knowledge of hives to a fantastical story. Wonderful read.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloonp*Hiya Megan! I am happy to catch up with your newest edition of the Jane Austen Newsletter! *Delight*


*Heart* Another informative look at Jane and I like your sharing Helen Amy's finds about her life and work. I had not heard of this book of files. Good stuff! It is amazing how more details are coming to light. Is it the second half of the letter the info you gleaned from Helen's work?

*Heart*I liked reading the details about the films and that they are making a ballet! *Shock* Wow! It is also cool that the sisters did not attend balls to together at times. I guess she was apart from her and she writes so much about sisters going together to balls in her books, we like to assume she did too.*Smile* I noticed a typo: "she was stay at her aunt's..." needs to be "staying". *Wink*

I wondered why you were puzzled in this line:'One thing I was puzzled by was, Jane wrote her Juvenalia". *Confused*

I had to smile at the bit of gossip that Jane could have used! Ah real life! *Laugh*

This was delightful and fresh vision! Thanks for sharing your appreciation and keeping us informed of the continuing Jane Files! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya snow! I am travelling "Invalid Item"  as well and saw you fascinating essay. What a great theme and one that is personal to your own journey. *Star*


*Fire* I really like the description and how you capture the essence of the experience. The quote was brilliant and effective addition to illustrate his feeling and the nature of the symbolic Statue of Liberty!

*Fire*The writing was coherent and easy to follow. Thanks for adding some source links as well. I enjoy biography and history so this was very appealing and something I knew little about. *Star*
Thanks for sharing your vision of this event.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
fairy sig for Power Captain!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Passport  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Fairy2* Hello brom21 .

Thank you for your entry into"Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am happy to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Delight* What rocked my world: You spun a tale with a lot of mystery, magic and thrill of the chase. I was really curious and invovled in the story.

*Quill* What glitched for me: There is no real information about who the strange people are, though we know their motivation is that they want their ticket back.

*Burstr*Plot:

You hooked me with the dramatic opening and made me curious as to why he stole and who these chasers were! You set the scene and the problem of out running the men and using the ticket. The twists and turns of the chase led to a magical conclusion. Although I still do not know the whole story of these chasers, the main character ended up where he wanted to be. *Thumbsup* I could sense his excitement there as much as feel his fear earlier.

*Burstr*Characters:

Alex and Vince are the main characters out running their enemies, about whom we know little.
Alex is shown well through his inner thinking and actions and I like how you reveal he has a talent for trouble in the reaction of his brother. His excitement about this ticket is clear and he is willing to do anything to find out how it works. He is understandable and likeable.
I like the caring relationship between the brothers and that Vince does take what he knows into account before just believing Alex. You reveal their behaviours, stance and tones in effective images.

*burst*Conventions:

*Penb*I really enjoyed reading the story, which flowed coherently with lots of detail to set the atmosphere and lots of descriptions to show not always tell. The action takes place in a logical manner and is easy to follow. There was sufficient tension to keep the suspense as the brothers continue to discuss and escape the desperate men, including cops. You leave hooks that could lead into a continuing story. *Thumbsup*

*Pen* I was surprised that he did drop the ticket--though you intimated he may have done so out of surprise even though he had said he would give it to them.

*Penb*The dialogue moves the story swiftly along and is purposeful and adds drama. The way you have characters speaking is natural and fits their natures. The explanations as Alex shares are detailed and being interrupted adds to the drama and slows up our knowing what happens. *Smile*

*Penb* I liked when you used the title of this contest and the name of the book store! The secret messages were brilliant and in keeping with intrigue of the story line. I really want to know more! *Smile*

*Quill* I noticed a few typos on my way:
" to excited to start" needs to be "too excited".
In the line: "One of three men in suites", do you mean "suits"?
"“Speed up! If we each the intersection" , a typo in "each" needs to be "reach".
Also, I like how you put Alex's inner thoughts in italics yet there are few places where you need to do that.

*Starstruck* The title was perfect. I was entertained by your tale and entered into the thrill of the chase and mystery. Good job!

Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
A gifted sig for reviewing
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Vertie's Platform  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
*Fairy2* Hello PureSciFi .

Thank you for your entry into "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am happy to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Nuclear* What rocked my world:
The science fiction theme with a mystery in space makes for a suspenseful situation. You kept me wondering what would happen as the characters wander and converse through coms.

*Nuclear* What glitched for me:
You had so many characters and not much background so we could get to know who they were.

*Earth*Plot:
You hooked my attention with the laser action and escape of the pilots. The problem of the missing people and what happened on the station is well laid out and the end is clear when they get away in time. We do not find out what really happened on Vertie yet.

*Sun*Characters:
There does not seem to be a main character but a number of named crew members who wander and use the communication system. I like how they each have a job or skill and you did a good job with dialogue so I could easily follow who was speaking.

*Moon*Conventions:
You have a well laid out detailed flow of events as the crew tries to discover what went on. The language fits the science theme and setting of the space center. A jail in space is a unique idea and I like the name "cortivians" and wanted to know more about them.
This could well be an episode of a longer piece. I enjoyed your vivid description in the med center with the gadgetry. I notice at the end, it is not clear that they get away but I am assuming they do.*Smile*

*Nuclear*A few glitches that caught my eye:

I did not quite get this image: "looking at each floating monitor that floated past". *Confused*

I think " was wasn’t we warned about it.” should be "Why weren't we warned". *Wink*

In the line, "But he did die of a very deadly illness from his home planet, though.” You do not need the word "though" if you use "but". *Wink*

In the lines “What did you just say, Illoni? Did you just say that the engines are about to explode?” he looked shocked." I think such lines could be tightened up by not repeating "just say" and what does "shocked" look like physically. Try to give a visual or tonal clue.

"he was in communications with" would sound better with "communication with".

In the last paragraph where you say "few seconds before he "...needs to be "before it."

*Star*I like the way you have the team work together and I could follow what is a complicated process. I was happy they got away in time. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Intuition  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Fairy2* Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon .

Thank you for your entry into "Journey Through Genres: Official Contest" .
I am privileged to offer my brief comments as a judge! *Delight*


*Delight* What rocked my world:
I loved the notion of psychic intuition and the teddy bear symbol. It had a happy ending in a unique way! I enjoy the paranormal.

*Burstr* Plot:
I am not sure there is a definite problem other than Sarah's relationship with her Intuitive skill and how she can use it. It has episodes in her life and tension rose with the emergency call and you lured me to follow her to the end.
The mystery of the teddy bear was so sweet and supported the notion of a generational experience.
I enjoyed the psychic aspect of the story and it is so true how some folks with gifts do try to avoid them at first. I am glad she found a way to use her intuition.

*Burstr*Characters:

Sarah's qualities are clearly defined, though not so much her physicality and I could enter into her struggle with her ability.
Minor characters were purposeful in revealing Sarah at different times as she discovers her gift. *Thumbsup* You really did a good job of describing what goes on in her head!
I wondered why she did not forsee the plane trip, though I know sometimes folks do not sense their own stuff. I guess she did not tune in.

*Burstr* Conventions:

The story mostly flowed in a coherent way and broken into episodes of time. You lead me to the unexpected twist at the end and kept me puzzling through out the building up to it. I fell into the story and while you hinted at the end with the dream where she saw herself, it did not click til the end. I liked how you used the emergency scene and the shock when she saw Tom.

I was not sure how the physical teddy bear would be in the after death scene.

The language flowed naturally and the dialogue added drama and purposeful in revealing character and enhancing the story. The scene with the mom was heart warming!

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your story telling craft and vision.

*Shamrock*Good luck in the contest! *Wand*

eyestar
Sig for blog/reveiws
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya inkwell! I am back with another review as I saw this item that appealed to me. I really like native arts and spirituality, so I could not resist. *Delight*


*Wand* Dreamcatchers are breathtaking and I have seen many different ones, and I took a workshop of creating them. Quite a process! You have captured both the purpose and some of the elements that make up a dreamcatcher in a simple way that any can understand. *Thumbsup*

*Wand* I enjoyed the image of "captured beads..." and the first line is eloquent and lovely image. I wondered if you need to have a definite subject in the first verse---you use "it's" and we know it refers to the title , yet I think it needs to be clear in the verse.
I love your first line. Maybe just add "protection is the dreamcatcher's intention" or something to clarify without wordiness. *Wink*

*Wand*Repeating "Protection" in the second verse works to emphasize. I wonder if you could even add more detail about how this is done. eg. the idea of bad dreams may not be known to some.

*Wand* "promise to the sleeping" I take to mean "help sleepers have peaceful dreams".
The purpose of feathers as guide is cool. It is an interesting idea " feathers guide promise" . *Smile*

*Wand* I like the last verse with its reference to children and the last line made me smile! *Thumbsup* One does need focus to create one.

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing your vision about this wonderful piece of art and its function. It brought back memories.! I have one in my room too--a gift from a friend. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of Pisces's Son  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hiya C.O.! Your poem popped up on Read and Review tab today so I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Wand*Wow! This is an evocative expression with a potent voice. The images are vivid and stark as you describe the experience. Using symbols like Pisces, "mars", "current", "paper-machier" and "life long synapse" is brilliant! *Star*

*Wand* I really felt sad for the speaker as you reveal the effects of addiction. You capture the essence well. Active verbs like "smashed", "swung" and "glued" added to the vibrancy and drama of the pictures. The free verse style suited the content and emotional intensity of the piece as well.

*Wand* I was confused a bit by "be my morning". *Confused**Smile*

*Wand* Amazing free flow poem that kept my attention to the end and a well conceived creation that I found original! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review of The Sirens.  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hiya inkwell! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Wand* I was lured by your title and mythological theme concerning sirens. You really did a good job to show their deceptiveness as it was easy to follow their ploy from your description.

*Wand* The short verses are fun to read with effective rhyme scheme and warning tone! I did notice a specific line syllable rhythm and yet it did not detract from the read. I notice you need to use apostrophes to show possession as in words like "Sirens' song" and "that's" for "that is" *Wink*

*Wand* Your verses are quatrains except for one which only has three lines. Was there a reason? It breaks the pattern. I don't think you need a comma after "them" in verse 7 but do need a comma or colon after "are" to connect to the last lines which do not make a complete thought. Just a thought. *Whistle*

*Wand* The contrast of their beauty and their change is well shown and I like the imagery in verse seven. Your warning about these creatures is potent right from the start with your stark second line! Good hook! I wondered if there was a more specific descriptive word than "beautiful" to add to clear visual. *Smile*

*Wand*I was entertained by this evocative tale which would certainly alert all who would listen! Wonderful piece of folklore! *Star*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Sitting  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Dave's Pen! This piece popped up on Read and Review! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* The image evoked by your title is intriguing as you make "sitting" a noun! Good hook! I can imagine just sitting and noodling til the force moves you! *Laugh*

*Wand* This is a unique expression as it is interesting how you put the poem together. I did not really notice a form and yet it has wonderful inner rhyme and a philosophic tone. I wanted to move the second part of the third line down on its own so it does not look so long compared to others--more poetic looking. LOL and it would mirror your first line.

*Wand* I enjoyed the images of the "ark of time" and verbs like "entices" with "devices".
The flow of the first line and the beginning of the third line are fast paced and I liked the alliterative part "to which, for what..etc! "

*Wand* I think one could take this as a serious event, and yet it made me smile to think about one sitting around with nothing to prove. It is rather profound too. I think the word "loose" needs to be spelled "lose" if you mean to lose something, lost! Or if you mean "Loose like a tooth." then you have spelled it correctly. *Smile*

I am glad you did not sit too long ...and shared this thought-provoking vision! I think we can all relate! *Starstruck* Congrats on posting your first items at WDC.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Anlu! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight*Wow! What a unique poem! I love the personification of the jackel. You have really captured its essence as an animal and totem as well I think. The title drew my attention as it is quite evocative as a metaphor.

*Wand*I enjoyed reading your free style with its steady rhyme scheme and while the rhythm is not even in each verse, I was not thrown out of the flow when I read it aloud. Vibrant voice true to the end.


*Wand*The imagery is vivid and I liked the idea of "being the moon...and the darkness on the land" as if he lurks around at night.

*Quill* I noticed that your rhyme scheme does change up a bit from abcb to abab. Usually in poems we try to keep the same scheme for coherence. *Wink* Still it was a wonderful vision!

Thanks for sharing your craft here at WDC! It was fun to read and imagine! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Home  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Ivyrose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight*Your short piece popped up on Read and Review today. The title is simple and fits the theme perfectly.

*Wand*Your three line free style expression has a heart felt sentiment revealing your sincere definition of home! I liked the imagery of the two "essences" of home and you capture the physical, emotional and spiritual elements. *Smile*

*Wand*Your tagline gives away your message in too much detail I think as you use similar words to your poem. *Wink* In the second line I wanted to say "the most" though it does make it wordy.
I wonder if Philosophy might also be a genre tag as it feels like a piece of wisdom. I am not sure it is a chapter. *Smile* I can see how you could expand on this with vivid examples.

Thanks for sharing your vision and congrats on posting your first item here! *Starstruck* Keep on writing.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review of Travel Pictures  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Fairy**Lightning2* Hiya Sum1! I was passing by and couldn't resist your kaleidoscope of images from your travels. This is an impressive collection and a wonderful way to save memories! *Salute*

*Camera* Your introduction is short and to the point with a invitational tone. You could maybe spruce it up with a bit of colour. *Camera* I wondered what kind of camera you used or was it a cell phone? Your photographs are clear and colourful. You have a good eye for balance in each shot. Some would make wonderful pictures to frame and mount on a wall.

*Camera* I especially like your sky and nature images as they raise my vibration as I think of expanding horizons. The rock formations are beautiful. I would love to visit the Arches. LOL I see you even have Lake Muskoka and Quebec on your travel adjenda here. *Wink* Oh I would love that butterfly chair and the horse! *Heart*

*Camera* The collection has a good variety of themes: natural settings, monuments, friends you met, artistic peices and even food! Yum! *Smile* I could spend a while musing in here. There are even some that could inspire a poem or two!

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing these beauties and your love of travel. Lucky you! *Wink*
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for entry "Wolfess Waldemar " 
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Wand* Hi Nixie! I have been enjoying your Harry Potter Prompt Book entries! *Delight* Your imagination is on fire in your varied original responses to the prompts and I really appreciate the variety and scope. *Thumbsup*

*Wand*This story "Wolfess Waldmar" with its fascinating title caught my eye! I am glad I read it and now I want to know more! You really know how to grab attention and build tension. I can see this as a part of a longer tale.

*Wand*The story line is coherent and quick paced and you kept up the mystery til the end about the potential reason for the attack. *Thumbsup*

*Wand*The twin sisters are well shown so I could visualize them and their personalities. I smiled that everyone noticed how annoying Winnie is. The contrast between the girls is evident. The idea that Francesca has the map in her mind and of embedded knowledge or instinct is cool!

*Wand*I like the wolf as the ally as the helicopters fly overhead. It has a feel of modern world mixed with the fantastical.

*Fairy*The dialogue was purposeful in telling the story and revealing emotion. It felt natural and I could distinguish tones. *Smile*

It is amazing to write such an engaging piece is a short time. You rock! I am glad you took up the *Wand* challenge! Keep that muse writing! *Starstruck*

eyestar
A birthday gift
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Wand**Delight*Hi Maryann! I so enjoyed reading your Potter world wizardry. You really know your subject. *Thumbsup*

*Wand* This book is bright and colourful on every page so it is magical to enter. You have a wonderful balance of poetry and story responses to the daily prompts. It is cool you have written Potter related pieces and also gone where the prompt took you out of Potter world. *Thumbsup* To be able to come up with such creativity everyday is an affirmation of your imagination and gift.

*Wand*I really loved your poems which reflect prompts with such detail. You have a lively voice and a light vibe in your tone. Your free style, rhyming and acrostics are well composed. You did a great job getting key words in the poems like spell words and names! I had to grin at the limerick chain too! *Smile* The Keeper of the Keys is one of my favs as I like how you had Hagrid speak! Well done.

*Wand* I had fun with the stories too, The Egg and Eye was so charming and I liked your take on the Forbidden Forest! I absolutely was entertained by the Marauder's Map!! So original and funny! *Salute* You have a great imagination. That kid was sweet. *Heart*

*Starstruck* I am so glad you took up the *Wand*challenge. Thanks for sharing your gift and vision.
Keep on writing! *Wand**Fairy*
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Squirrel*Hey Ruwth. I saw this on the newsfeed and the idea of talking to yourself was appealing and original. Your introduction is a lovely invitation and gives the purpose of this campfire.

*Squirrel* The piece I liked the best was about the The tale of the Tree, the Squirrel and Honey. It was so entertaining to imagine the antics of the squirrel in his changing world. You have captured its essence so well. I watch squirrels and chipmunks in my back yard! *Laugh* The personification of the creature is well acheived and its voice was consistent throughout the story.
You brought me into it experience as I enter his viewpoint.

*Squirrel* The interaction with the dog is hilarious and you interweave the family life atmosphere and changes seemlessly. I really felt for the old woman having to give up the dog and the contrast between her and the squirrel's reaction was vivid. Well done!

*Squirrel* The ending was heartwarming and so believable as we can communicate with nature and connect in with the life that goes on around us. I imagine she might even feed it. Having a pet without having to take care of it--especially a dog who needs alot, is a wonderful way to make a happy ending. *Thumbsup*

*Squirrel* The writing is coherent though may be tightened up in spots.
eg. "Tilting his head to the side, he looked pensive as he saw.." Here I do not think you need the passive :"he looked pensive" as you show him tilting his head, which indicates he is puzzling it out, "Tilting his head to the side, he watched.." *Wink* I even wondered about "to the side" but it does emphasise the action for clarity.

*Squirrel* The story flowed well with good description and vivid images. I was not sure the significance of "Arevalos" and how the squirrell would know. *Confused*

*Starstruck* This is a really charming story and I enjoyed entering your vision! Thanks for sharing your gift.

eyestar
A birthday gift
Taking up the challenge: "Power's 10th Anniversary Party - Closed" 
Are you? *Wink*
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Review of Spring  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloony*Hiya Meduf! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you as part of your winning bid in our Power Auction. Thanks for your generosity! *Balloonp*

Wow! This is a wonderful double acrostic and I bet it took alot of effort to compose. The spring theme is well illustrated by your descriptions and choices of images. *Thumbsup* The vocabulary was effective in building the process of the seed coming to bloom. I liked words like "scion", and "nuclei". Wonderful word to get an i at the end of the line. *Star*
The image of "shrugging" is evocative and the use of gerunds is well done as they give the idea of a process ongoing.

I wondered about having all capital letters as usually capitals have a reason and not as easy to read capitals. I see you wanted to have the last letters capitals as well to show the acrostic but the colour does it well and it could be ok to have the last letter in lower case. Just a matter of of aesthetics though, which is personal taste.
One might think the capitals mimic the strength that spring has and seed needs to push through the winter. *Wink*

I really enjoyed reading your vision of this seasonal event. The minimum punctuation served the work as well. You use of assonance and consonance adds to the pleasing soundscape too.

Thanks for sharing your impressive crafting! *Star*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
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#1300305 by Maryann- summer travel



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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Maryann! I had to pop in and visit your Unicorn!!*Star*

Wow! What a unique poem form for the theme. *Thumbsup* And an totally original response! I have never heard of this type of unicorn. *Laugh* It is fun to read and light hearted like unicorns can be! Brilliant!

The page is delightful and happy and I really l like your unicorn glyph! Thanks for the Tanka note. You have the syllables correct and the bit of rhyme adds to the flow and fun! It shared a complete image with an emotional response and with a pivot from the image to the personal experience. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for getting your flair our there! *Starstruck*
Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI angus! Happy 6th! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

The title presents an interesting image and a story in 74 words is amazing. The setting and character was clear from the start as you set up a bit of a mystery. The ending was a twisted cliffhanger that we can only imagine! Ouch! Well done.
The blue and red lettering were effective to emphasize the idea of duality. *Thumbsup*

A few gliches: see what you think. *Wink*
You used the word "her" alot. I am not sure you need to say "from her slumber" as the word "awoke" means that she woke. So it seems redndant to me. I think saying "from where she thought" instead of ending in a preposition might be more grammatical.

Thanks for sharing your vision and your craft of telling a whole story in few words. *Starstruck*
Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (1.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Maryann! I am getting ready to review thrillers and thought this might be fun! *Laugh* I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*

I know little about Zombies and I love the Sound of Music. That you can bring them both together in this sing song poem is so original and the contrast is brilliant. Mentioning Julie Andrews is cool and yep I think she would at least cringe!*Laugh*

While this is to be judged as bad poetry, it really rings well in rhyme and rhythm with the song. I could sing it. *Smile* The Baha part is too funny and I could not quite get the song but the mimicry of zombies is well done!

The images were very vivid and freaky especially the first verse. EWWW! I had fun reading your little bit of horror! *Star*
One star just as it deserves and you asked for!

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review of Wisp  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Earth* *Heart* Happy Earth Day wolfbane! *Sun**Tree*


*Earth*Wow! This is a soft magical expression and I was drawn to the title Wisp, which fits the theme. The poem specifically uses this floating seed in an expereincial way.

*Earth* The picture you paint is so despcriptive and you drew me into the moment. The structure is a free style with a consistene rhyme scheme that added to the flow. The atmosphere is soft and whishful as you act with the wisp and then jump to the future to see the wish fulfilled. The rhyme with "whispered" is an off rhyme and yet the thought is so relevant. You could do the line with italics instead of brackets to show you are thinking within the narration.
The punctuation was purposeful in the read.

*Earth* I don' think you need the word "softly" as we know "whispering" is soft, so it may be redundant. It tightend up the flow to leave it out as well. *Wink*

*Earth* I like the unrhymed last line as the summation shares a philosophical result of the experience--apart from the action in the lines before. *Thumbsup*

*Sun* I was touched by this moment of receiving nature's gift. Thank you for sharing your vision. I often dwell in nature and find myself and wisdom. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!


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Review of Trees Scream  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Earth* *Heart* Happy Earth Day Kaya! *Sun**Tree*


*Tree* I am a tree hugger and so I was drawn to this evocative and sad title! You drew me into the delightful life of the forest and our peaceful co-existence and natural progress of treedom. Then abruptly, "Madness enters" shows the shock of man's intrusion. What a brilliant expression with a harsher tone. *Thumbsup*

*Tree3* Your verses are balanced with consistent rhyme and rhythm. It was delightful to read aloud with its effective soundscape as well. Your use of poetic magics like assonance, consonance and personification is effective. The last verse is so evocative and the query at the end invites us to wake up and ponder. *Sun*

*Treefall2* I was a bit confused at the end as the third line I think refers to the tree and yet it seems like you are asking the tree if it can hear. I wonder if making the words "sentinel" and "giant" plural with the comma having it agree or refer to Trees that are screaming, might clarify this.*Wink* mmm.

*Treefall3* I so enjoyed your lines like "wisdom....gloaming" and the metaphor "Destruction....steed" is brilliant. I was drawn to read it several time to sink into the vision. Well done!

*Star*Thanks for sharing this well conceived expression that hits the heart of tree lovers and sends a message about being aware. *Smile* I like the tree as the illustration! Your appreciation and experience with trees is so warm and fuzzy.

*Tree2**Sun*Light on the path as you write on!


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Review of Wake Up!  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Earth* *Heart* Happy Earth Day Ken! *Sun**Tree*


*Mushroomb* Thanks for entering this lively expression into the Earth Day challenge! You really hit the nail on the head in your last line with potency indeed! *Laugh* and not *Laugh* The issue is certainly debated a lot, even after all this time and study. It may not be responsible for the whole of earth changes but to deny it is a big part seems unconscious. *Sad*

*Earth* I like the underlying feeling in the work as you reveal how the news effects you and how the depression moves to a more potent stance at the end. A Call to act! There really is a lot of talk. Your exhortation in verse 4, after revealing the evidence in other verses is dramatic and I felt the impact.

*Wind* The Quatrain form is composed well with wonderful rhyme and steady flow that was a pleasure to read aloud. You did not indicate if you which syllable count you were using but I notice inconsistency in this area. You begin with an 8 count in verse 1 and shorter counts in the middle as if to speed the pace---weather, panic, and then back to an 8 count in the last two verses (but for the emphatic last line.) Perhaps within verses consistency would be better. *Wink* A quick read will show you and I know you already know this so I figure there is a poetic rationale. *Smile* It doesn't spoil the read or its impact! I was just surprised.

*Earth* The voice was authentic and the intent meaningful. The chosen images were illustrative and supported the point of view and amazement that one can deny the truth. Bringing in the concern for "kid's birthright" is a moving mortivator! *Thumbsup*

*Star* Thanks for Tweeting UP for Mother Earth!
Light on the path as you write on!


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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