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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Delight* Hey Jeff! Guess what popped up on Random Reads? an oldie but a goodie.*Laugh* Happy New year and now I have to go find out what your New DEAR ME would say! I didn't notice the date when i began reading and it said nothing about what I know of you now. LOL so I had to go check the date. you were not a Purple case at this time me thinks! *Smile*

Anyway I enjoyed the read very much and you have a kind way of speaking to yourself, and it sounds like you have done exactly what you could given your time lines. *Smile* You say yu could have done better..but ..could you really. If the vibe was not there for it, maybe it was the best you could do in that 10 seconds. LOL

Your letter covers in detail specific areas and I learned a few personal things about you. Thanks for sharing yourself. The writing is coherent with a livley tone of speech. It would be fun to see in retrospect if you accomplished any of your hopes here. *Wink*

I like your ending as it is positive and I think we always rise to a positive vibe than a have to or should or judgement. So good on you! Have a happy 2017 and may all your dreams actualize! *Wand*

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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Fairy*Wow! Princess Megan Rose Happy New year! I just popped in to say how much I appreciate these writings. I am following your Promptly Potter entries and it lead me to dig deeper into this blog. You have a creative mind and the scope of ideas you write on is remarkable. I liked the mix of fantasy with bits of life experience.

The title is appealing and fits the creation too and gives us a bit of your essence. *Star*

I enjoyed your Australia entries too. It is so cool how consistently you can blog. I have yet to manage more than a monthly challenge.

Thanks for sharing your unique and vibrant expressions! *Starstruck* I have fun!

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Review of Somewhere Cold  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy New Year Keaton Foster! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Your poem strikes me as evocative with deep underlying tones even as I read your vivid imagery that balances dark and light. I do enjoy reading it as it takes me on a journey and makes me ponder. The concept of being between is well portrayed as is the polarity of space and feeling. I am reminded of a stream of consciousness in its search, its dark theme like a struggle with death and the search! *Thumbsup*

It certainly has emotional potency and your use of assonance and consonance adds to the flow and the fun of reading it aloud. The lack of punctuation did not bother me as I could feel where to pause. It may help others to read if you did add clues as to where to pause for effect.

You capture the "suicidal" theme and the In between in a vivid way. *Thumbsup* The voice is consistent and drew me into the speaker's world. I really felt for him.

I liked "stranger in life, ghost in death"
and "Death was not so instant
Instead it was more transcendence". Here I wondered if it should be "transcendent". *Wink*

Thanks for sharing this stark vision and your unique gift. It is moving. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy New Year schnujo! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!*Delight*


Aw! This is such a sweet story and I felt for both of the characters in their first love trials. The scene was well written with good description and active language. It was easy to enter the drama.

I wonder if instead of "circles" around his name you might use "hearts" as you used the word circle already in the same sentence, and one would expect girls to make hearts. *Smile*

The girl character was well portrayed in the narrative and I liked her confidence. You do well with show rather than tell when you describe how she walks away.

I enjoyed the twist where you let us know what the boy thinks at the end. It is quite realistic to show his lack of confidence and nervousness.

I am glad this popped up on random reads with its cool title. Thanks for writing this true to life drama. I felt sad for them. Maybe you can write a sequel. *Wink*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of Santa's Vacation  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Happy New Year Sum1 *Gingerbread* and thanks for your support and contribution to "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. as Captain over the years! *Salute*

*Santahat* I just found this new poem I had not reviewed yet! Great way to celebrate the season.

*Fairy*This was a delightful tale and funny to think of Santa in clubs and subs, having to lose weight! *Laugh* I like how you tie in a number of themes: friends, WDC, navy, vacation, etc. And now we know the secret of your best friend.

The poem has a basic structure and consistent rhyme scheme. The rhythm is not specific but I was no thrown out of the read by glaring glitches. The third line in verse 2 was a bit tricky to flow.
"someone's wives" was a bit odd--means someone had more than one wife but I think you do mean "others' wives". Tricky to say correctly. LOL

Line 3 in verse 6 might flow better with "hid presents for all". *Wink* As you are not counting syllables exactly.

The images are lively and the picture of the incognito Santa is vivid. Thanks for sharing this bit of entertainment. I had to smile! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Cecelia! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! This is a vivid episode that drew me in and made me feel the character's sadness. Your descriptions of setting and the girl's actions are clear and the repeating of "remembers" is emphatic. I enjoyed the simile and the symbolism of the dandelion.*Thumbsup* Brilliant!

It was pleasant to read. One thing that threw me off was the word "viciously" as it jumped out of the line. I think your active verb "glares" shows us how she feels and so the adverb is redundant to me. I don't think "impatiently" is needed either. As again, your strong verb gives me the idea of impatience. *Wink* You do that well.

I so liked the comparison of the moon on the dandelion and her tear. Precious idea!

Thanks for sharing your moving vision. I really entered into the moment. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of Winter's Cry  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Happy New Year Angel! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Teddy* Oh wow! What a sad episode and clearly shown in only 6 lines! Good for you!
I could imagine the little one though you do not describe her. I get the picture of her plight and the setting which is vivid. The use of the teddy bear is so meaningful.

It is effective how you leave the reason for her being alone there until the end as you built the tension and our curiosity. You leave us to ponder the mystery of what occurred and her evocative line "stayed as long as we could". I like how you had the child thinking to herself -talking to the bear as it is so natural. You could use italics for her lines but the apostrophes work to delineate. Speech generally uses quotations. I think "it's" needs to be "It's". *Wink*

I think you could use a more descriptive word for "tightly" like she "gripping her bear". etc.
The personification of the the"darkness" is creepy and well done.*Thumbsup*

Your expression evoked curiosity and sadness. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck* I enjoyed the read.

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Happy New Year Lifelessons and Thanks for all of your contributions in "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.! *Salute*

*Delight* Oh I can so feel the vibe of Rapunzel here in the voice of this princess waiting for love. I liked the vivid verb "caged" and the notion of her imprisonment being annonunced. The "higher power" is evocative.

The poem has a consistent rhyme and strong tone of voice. The imagery and her dream are vivid and remniscent of a fairy tale. The verses have different rhythms and I wonder if that is on purpose.

I feel you need to look at the punctuation a bit. eg. A comma would be better after "flee", "light" and I don't see the need for a comma after 'Moment". etc.

You have captured this lady's plight and her hope in an appealing way. I really liked the "star dust"guide and the "cupid tune"! *Delight* Thanks for sharing this bit of fancy.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*


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Review of A Bushel of Tales  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

*BalloonR**ConfettiP*Happy 11th Kiya! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*


Your port is amazing and I like how you organized it. This folder title caught my attention as the image of a "bushel" is appealing. The banner sets off the page and calls to the imagination too. I like fairies.

Your colourful introduction to the collection was fun to read with its inviting tone and clues to the magical selection of genres and fare we might find within. The imagery is clear and you appeal to our senses. I liked a "trip down the alley of danger" and the "cup of cheer". Wonderful contrasting descriptions highlight your writing capacities and interests. *Star*

Decorative badges add to the aesthetic appeal and show off types and genres in a different way.
The titles of the folders within this collection are clear and directive so it is easy to find a type we are keen on reading. Well done. The bear glyphs are a cute feature and serve to make the page aesthetically coherent too. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing so much of you and your talent and generosity with WDC! I hope you have many more fun and fulfilling years. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Soulraider! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! Thanks for sharing your interest in the environment in the articles of your port. The title of this really sums up your article and your information is detailed. I wondered about adding soem source links as an author's note.eg like more on the exictinction crisis. I had no idea there were different ones. *Smile*

I was interested to hear about where new species are found as I had heard a talk on this very idea and the notion that way down deep in oceans there could be more evolution happening not known to us. Extinction is a sad occurance especially now as we are aware of the "human" dangers!

Your article is a factual narrative and you do state that humans are responsible---perhpas for the rate of extinction as there has been evolution before. I wonder if some evidence or study could be quoted or added as a subnote. It might have added interest to mention some currently endangered or recently extinct species by name. *Wink*

I can see where this could be expanded into an essay but it is quite manageable in its form to provide this specific information. The writing is coherent and easy to follow with the thematic vocabulary.

Thanks for sharing your scientific knowledge. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of THE FELINISH RACE  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Balloonp* Happy December and solstice! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


What a appealing title that drew my attention! I love cats and your take on them is so right on! I am sure My cat would see other beings in the room at times and he would get this far off look as if he was elsewhere. LOL Now he is gone, but I still see his pose in my mind's eye. He would sit on the filing cabinet and watch like some Egyptian Cat God! *Cat* He was a Reiki Master too and would sit on people exactly where they needed healing. Magic!

I loved the orginality of this expression and the vivid way you describe cats. The bolded words were emphatic and word choice effective. It has dramatic appeal and the theme of cats with higher consciousness is so cool! I believe it!

Your free style verses had a wonderful soundscape to read aloud and I can really hear the tone.
You reveal the essence of these (certain) cats and wouldn't it be fun to be as aware as they are and still be so relaxed. *Smile*

I had so much fun reading this! Thanks for sharing your vision! You really know cats. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Happy Holidays Princess Megan Rose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I saw this title on a review while crediting and couldn't wait to check it out. I love Christmas recipes.I see it is a recent blog entry and the picture in the blog is gorgeous in colour and vibration!

The prompt is interesting. I like sleigh rides---not so sure I could take it that cold but I guess if one bundles up... and it could be romantic if conditions are right. *Wink* I like your reference to Jane Austin and yes those were the times. My dad used to tell stories of when he wasa boy in rural Quebec at having to take sleigh rides across the frozen River to services like at Christmas. I guess they get used to it as it was all they travelled in.

AW! I was looking forward to a fudge recipe! Too bad your mom prizes her secret. *Smile* My grandfather made fudge for us and even back when he was a lumberjack in the early days of logging up here, he was known to make it in the logging camp and hide it in the rafters before the guys got to it! LOL It was not chocolate though--maple! Still yummy. I think we have his modernized version {the one he made for us) in the family cook book.

Thanks for sharing your experience, which sparks conversation and memories!

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review of Lament  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Peace of the Season FYN! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


This lovely l lined poem popped up on Random reads! What a wonderful response to this contest prompt, and I bet a challenge too. *Smile* It was fun to read and every line began with l and even had l words interspersed as well. Cool. The title is potent and elegant too.

The image of these aging southern belles was so vividly described they were easy to identify in time and history. *Thumbsup* I could enter the vision of their garden and their memories.

The free style suit the unique prompt and your enjambments were effective, especially "then" and "the" before "lace". The poem was easy to follow in coherence and reading aloud. I do enjoy alliteration.

I did wonder about the punctuation here "Listen! As well to.."
and about "Ladys"---rather than "ladies". Yet it does set them apart as royalty in a way. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing your creative expression honouring these old fashioned ladies. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review of The Old Oak  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy* Welcome to WDC Starwriter. Peace and Joy of the season! *Gingerbread* Always happy to have another *Star*kin with us! *Laugh*


*Tree3* I was drawn to the title on the Read a Newbie page because I am a tree hugger and love trees. The Old Oak is suggestive of history and life journey, so here I am.

*Xmastree* Your weaving is so brilliant with its vivid description and showing the passing of time and the intertwining of memories of this tree as it too grew. Your images are vibrant and the tone is appreciative of the beauty and vitality of the tree. I could imagine the swinging children ( I loved to swing} and the lover's initials as well as the appealing place to sit and dream.

*Treefall3*The verses are well balanced and the repetition of key lines are emphatic and remind me a bit of the villanelle form. It brings home the importance of that part of the message in each verse. It is like you want us to really see that image, effect or scene. It is like a refrain in a song! Very effectively planned too with each line being 7 syllables. It is unique. I appreciate the effort it took to compose this so coherently with a strong structure and potency.*Salute*

*Tree*I see you did use some interesting rhymes and played a bit with poetic license in words like: "their ascend". It was cool to see the use of "vim" as I had not heard of it in a while and "buss" is new to me. I love to learn new words. *Cool*

*Treecypress*I noticed you did not choose to use punctuation and wondered if you did it on purpose as it can have an effect. Also I am not sure you need to say "At where the brook". It makes sense if you just drop it though I do see it serves your syllable count.

*Treepine*Your expression spoke to me and it was lovely to enter the idyllic vision. I am so happy this impressive piece caught my eye today. Thanks so much for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review of All in the mind  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Hi Smee! *Star*Peace and Joy of the season. *Gingerbread*


*Ornament1b*Cool! Your piece popped up in the Random Reads so I had to read it! I so enjoyed the magical theme and the rebellious experiments of young wizard. I seemed so natural for this prideful one to be showing off! You really showed some of his qualities in an active way both in description and in the riveting dialogue.

*Santahat*The piece seems to begin in the middle where we are introduced to a Lord who has an interest in this young mage. You keep us guessing as to whether this will be good or bad. *Smile* I like how you give hints that this Lord knows or expects alot from this one.

*Snowman*The scene where the teacher witnesses the play time and turns the tables is intense and your description of the activity and the face off is detailed so we can imagine it. The surprise caught me off guard as much as the master. *Thumbsup* Moros's decision at the end is a good hook as again we do not know his intent.

*Snow1* I would suggest not using "suddenly" so often as well as so many adverbs when a more active or simple description would work. Also "found himself stood before his friend" is awkward to me and passive too. *Wink*

*Candycaner* An entertaining read where this young wizard might go either way in terms of good or evil. He was being quite mean to the creature and going out of bounds, but it suits his feeling himself as "special". Ihope the lesson served him well.

*Star*Thanks for sharing this fantasy vision for me to enter! *Wand*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Megan Rose! *Gingerbread*

*Fairy*Yay! I was delighted to read this month's newsletter! That picture of Jane with the santa hat made me smile and added a festive look to your page! *Laugh*
I liked the use of xmas colour font as well.

You share some really interesting info--like about Jane speaking of Christmas being forgotten as folks think of Dickens first.*Delight* Your brief summation of Jane's heroines is well done to make your point.

I have not read her unfinished novel so it was helpful for you to share what you found out about it being complete and cool it will be a movie too. Wow. Jane's vibe goes on and on.
Interweaving your vision of Jane's Christmas and connecting with your own is effective. I love desks! *Smile* Your enthusiasm and knowledge is contagious and feeds your imagination. Thanks for continuing to share it.

Congrats on Your Quill Nomination! *Star* About time!

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review of Prayer  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Prosperous Snow! *Gingerbread*
I am happy to deliver your gift from our raid! *Delight* Thanks for your constant support as a *Star* Power Crew mate!*Heart*

*Fairy* I enjoy reading and writing acrostics and this title appealed to me for this time of the year--and always. Wonderful choice of theme.

Your construction of the form is tightly woven and a pleasure to read aloud. You capture the essence of the elements and purpose for prayer in a compact coherent way. The key word is well emphasized in bold while keeping an aesthetic look that is not distracting.

The word choice is thematic and effective with lovely instances of consonance, assonance and alliteration that assist the flow and soundscape. I love to read it.

The only little glitch for me was the change of voice. It begins with the generic "voices" and third person and then in line 5 switches to "You" and then "Our".
I think consistency would add potency...eg "expressing desires" etc.
Another thing I noticed is that line 2 and 6 use the same key word and idea.{raising, praise} You may have meant to emphasize the notion, yet I wonder about having variety in a poem so short.

My favourite lines are 3 and 4 for their concepts and soundscape. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your gift and vision. *Starstruck* This is a fine Acrostic creation.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (1.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Thanks for posting your first item though I was expecting to see an article on this wonderful topic. I think if you added some information or your understanding of what this healing is all about it would grab more attention. Many might not open an outside link. *Smile*

I do energy work as well and your website is wonderful and worth advertising! *Smile*

Now I do see that this short piece was meant perhaps as an advertisement with two main ideas of crystal healing and that it can be remotely done from Sydney. You could make it more concise (as you repeat words) and vibrant to reflect your joy in what you offer.

I look forward to you sharing more of your writing, perhaps about your own journey.

It is hard to rate this with stars as it is short and not really an article to reivew as such. *Wink*

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC! *Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Brick Chicken! *Gingerbread*

*Santahat*What a delightful rendition of this iconic song image!
You set a vivid romantic atmosphere and drew me into the scene. I can see the staircase and the boy and you keep his response right til the end. I had to laugh at the end. So like a kid. Brilliant! *Star*

*Ornament1v*
The paragragh is coherent and flows smoothly. The descriptive words are well chosen and the Idea of "singular" is effective and gives me the idea that he would be focused this way, especially at Christmas. *Giftr*

*Candycaner*I really had fun with this vision. Thanks for sharing your gift.*Starstruck* Good luck in the contest.

Light on the path as you write on!
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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Jellyfish! *Gingerbread*

Oh wow! How charming is this nursery rhyme type poem. Your parody is brilliant and didn't miss a beat as I read it aloud. It follows the original quite well. *Thumbsup*

I enjoyed your choice of creatures as they are an unexpected pair as in the original version. A great surprise. I had to smile at the PHD line as it so fit the bird! How they met was humourous as well.

The format was effective with a rhyme scheme consistent through out the verses and punctuation served the read and meaning. It was an entertaining drama. I like the addition of the jellyfish--as it is your handle. *Cool*

I notice you are missing an apostrophe in "mermaids hand" to make it possessive. (mermaid's}. *Wink*

This was fun and a trip down memory lane for the Owl and the Pussycat I do recall! *Smile* Thanks for sharing your vivid vision.*Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

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Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*Snow1*HI Moarzjasac! I hope you are having a Happy december! I found this alluring title and it fits our winter season so here I am! *Snow1* The title is descriptive and directs me to the theme.

*Snow2*The scene you create in this narrative poem is enchanting and it is easy to visualize. Your descriptive language creates vivid imagery and so captures the essence of silence in the winter land scape.

*Snow3*I really enjoyed the choice of pictures like the kids foot prints under the new fall of snow, the "quilt", the "cushion" and the weak light from the lamp. They each add to the space you observe.
I did notice you use the same idea twice in verse one --eg quilt and blanket refer to the same thing. *Smile*

*Snow4* Are you missing the word "a" in line 5: "it is a smooth"?
I see you are missing one bracket on center in the first line. *Wink*
The last two lines both ahve the word "falling" and I wonder if variety might be better. Although the idea of both falling together is cool!

*Snow5* Thanks for sharing this seasonal vision. I am seeing a deer as the single animal track. *Smile* I often see them going across my drive and to the bush after a snow fall. *Wink* The idea that we all leave evidence but winter can blank out our tracks is appealing too. Your message is so clear and I had fun entering the dream.

Happy day!
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Review of quiet pool  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Moarzjasac! *Gingerbread* Happy holidays and happy 7th WDC anniversary. *Balloong*

Wow! This pond looks mystical and as if muses live there. It reflects calmness and I like how the photo captured the reflections in the water. *Cool* I could see using this to meditate on and my muse might be inspired. *Wink*

In your description you do not say if you took the photo and made the sig, or someone else. I like the lettering for its smooth elegance. I would like to know where this is. *Smile*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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823
823
Review of Christmas  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Chris! *Gingerbread*

*Xmastree* Tis the season so I had to check out the Christmas title and this form. I see it is for the recent contest. I have yet to compose one yet. It is on my to do list. *Wink*

I like the seasonal theme and your use of the poem as a greeting! The simplicity is present and the vibe is sincere. You did a great job with the inner "stairstep" rhyme. I bet that is the tough part of the form to get right. You managed to make it meaningful as well.

The idea of sending "love" and letting it alight like a light on the tree of the receiver is lovely and magical.

I am glad you explained about teh punctuation as it is a concern to some folks if they do not know. I had read in haiku that some names/places were capitalized though. *Confused* *Smile*

This was delighful and good luck in the contest. *Starstruck* Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays. *Heart*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review of Scars  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Dave! *Gingerbread*


*Cat* The title appealed to me as it could take me in various directions and I like cinquains. *Wink*

AW! This image is precious and so fitting for a cinquain poem. The last line had an emphatic punch to it and so evocative of that creature's essence. LOL It was lovely to read aloud as you had some effective sound qualities. {alliteration, assonance etc. eg."paw, across, scars, marked"} I appreciate how well planned it is. Magic.

The poem is well contructed and I like that the poet is speaking to the animal , who then responds. How unique! *Thumbsup* The picture of the cat's action and effect is so vivid and the word "heart" (instead of chest) underlies the affection between you. Nice choice. I had to laugh at the idea of "ownership"! Right on! *Laugh*

You really captured the relationship of cat and owner and the title really works. Scars can be memories, light or dark. This was fun. Thanks for sharing your vision. It brought back memories of my black cat Merlin, who passed on a while back. He was the owner for sure as a TAURUS with a scorpio moon!*Laugh*

Carry on entertaining and enlightening us with your word wizardry.*Wand*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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Review of The Cricket Choir  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Peace and Joy of the season Dave! *Gingerbread*


*Ornament1b* Your title caught me attention and made me smile. I enjoyed the alliterative sound and image it evoked!

I am not familiar with this form so thanks for the links that always teach us something. *Thumbsup* I studied ancient Greek language long ago so it is interesting to check out this form.

It was a delight to read your rendering with its vivid imagery and well chosen conventions to create a flowing and appealing soundscape. I admire your word wizardry. "wavy wormy tendrils" is so creative and evocative as to how uncomfortable it is...the "wormy" bit stikes me. LOL I liked the personification elements as well. "shade..crawls" and "stars..dance" and of course the "cricket choir"! The last two lines are a lulling picture by themselves. It is a seranade, though can be annoying if one is trying to sleep. *Laugh*

I can hear the creaky rocker at the beginning balanced with the similar sound of crickets at the end. Well planned! The poem takes on the journey of the day coming to a close and the scene is shown with such detail in the short lines of the form. It was easy to enter into the vision and linger there. *Salute*

It is fascinating that each verse is basically one sentence broken in pieces with apt punctuation. Marvelous as it did not feel unweidly or hard to follow in a coherent way. *Smile*

The form is constructed according to the pattern and the theme of an everyday happening fits the criteria of the form. It is enchanting moment in time. The philosophical image near the end adds another depth and dimension to your expression.{eg. river of life, sea of death are evocative ) Awesome. *Starstruck*

I had fun with this one! Thanks for sharing your vision and craft and for all your contributions over the years! Keep on shining as the *Star* bard you are. *Heart*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
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