\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/30
Review Requests: OFF
7,130 Public Reviews Given
7,195 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 26 27 28 29 -30- 31 32 33 34 35 ... Next
726
726
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hiya Huntersmoon!


*Fairy3*I found this while exploring the Unicorn lairs in rainbow galaxies.*Starp* I saw the plea from newsfeed far and so flew down to do more than *Star*! *Wink*

The sorry plight of the poet here is one familiar to a seer,
or doodle bug with a magic muse that imagination did enthuse.
Your weaving drew me into your vision without me making a decision.
Enthralled by vivid imagery and by the laughing unicorn plea
my muse was entertained, amused and by no glitched was confused.
The trickery of pink unicorns your humourous poem now informs.

Your quatrains are formed so well, complete with a rhyming spell.
So fun to read with room for pause, commas clear in every clause.
Referring to OZ gives us a clue as to the spell overtaking you.
Your descriptions show a rainbow world as in your mind the visions swirled.
The last verse evokes a dream, in the unicorn the laughs do gleam.

Fluffy Pink (and every other colour of giddy) Unicorns appreciate your tribute. Laughing all the way...and ah... too bad about the blank page you destroyed. No one will believe you now without evidence. *Laugh* *Starp*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Write on!

eyestar *Wink*
for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. and Pink Unicorn Reviewers everywhere. *Starp*
Pink Unicorn
727
727
Review of St. Patrick's Day  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hi Chris! I am here with a third review as part of your "The 30DBC Mega-Raffle Extravaganza!" Open in new Window.! *Wink*

Oh, yay! St. Patrick's is coming up and I saw this cool poem so here I be! *Shamrock* Limericks are fun and it is such a great idea to use one to honour the Irish!

*Shamrock*Your formating is right on with appropriate syllable and rhyme scheme. It has a happy tone and brings a smile to think of the poet with his shamrock. I wondered if the shamrock was the "guy". LOL

*Shamrock* I am not sure if punctuation is required in limericks, yet I feel adding it would add to the drama.

Thanks for sharing this bit of fun! *Gold*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
Click to go to WDC Power Reviewers
728
728
Review of Problem  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hi Chris! I am back with another review from your winning Package in the Raok Raffle! *Gingerbread*

*Cool* Wow! this is a moving expression and your application of the prompt words is brilliant. The theme of addiction is such a relevant one for many and showing that it can be changed is so inspiration. *Thumbsup* The idea of "angel" in a bottle is profound and finding the true angel in inside is the happy key.

*SuitSpade* The tone is sincere and personal and the images convey the message in a vivid way.
I wondered if punctuation might add to the potency and give us pause to take in the steps of the process. The free style suits the emotional content allowing the poet to be free to share the experience. I feel others can relate to this message and perhaps gain a peek into possibility. *Heart*

*Star*Thanks for sharing your vision. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **

729
729
Review of It's Wintertime  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Heart**Fairy*HI Chris. I am here with reviews from your winning package in Roni's Raok Auction! *Delight*

*Snow4* I enjoyed envisioning the wintery image your words evoke with the comparison of the warmth of a cozy indoor scene with the next one outside. *Thumbsup* The notion of the warm heart of family is precious one too.

*Snow3* The repeating line of the rondeau form fits the theme and the tone is appreciative of this time of year. The rhyme is well done though I understand that the form is supposed to have only two rhyme sounds throughout. *Confused* This has a variation with "parts", "burner", "fill", "run" and "outside" as rhymes. I wondered about it.

*Snow4* I really liked the interesting rhyme choice of "burner", "turner", "learner". *Wink* It is interesting to emphasize the joy and "heart" message by adding the line "no anger to hide". *Cool*

*Snow2* This is an engaging expression on revelling in winter fun with loved ones. It evoked my memories of childhood days in the country! *Smile* Thanks for sharing your craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
730
730
Review of ~Velocity  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hey Stained! OH my gosh. I see you are coming back and your item popped up in the read and review page! *Smile*

I enjoy Acrostic poems and thought your topic was unique so here I am. The dark nature of the poem is evident! It was lively to read aloud with an effective soundscape. The flow of words was dramatic and the tools of assonance, consonance were used well.

Your lines for each key letter began with weighty words that were active or descriptive and carried forward the energy of the voice.

Was the use of periods at the end of each line a choice? I see where some lines could easily lead into the next with comma or semi. But perhaps you added the stops on purpose. *Wink*

You capture the emotional experience in a vivid way. Even the font colour adds impact.
The key word is well illustrated and makes sense for the theme content. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
731
731
Review of Vision of Hope  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya Snow! This lovely poem popped up on the Read and Review page! *Smile*

I have not heard of this type of poem and the name of it certainly suits the theme you chose as it speaks of hope like a beacon. *Smile* I appreciated the positive vibe and message that your dream illustrates.

It was comforting to read with its soft sounding flowing rhymes like "peace", "cease", "harmony", "free", "ringing" etc. The rhyme scheme was balanced and the form was well composed. Thanks for the author's note on the form.

I wanted to put a comma afer the word "Humanity" in verse 2 as I had to reread the line to get the meaning. I also wonder if the word "watch" and "continues" needs to be in the past tense to be in line with "I heard" at the start of verse 3 for consistency. *Wink*

I like how you mention the basics of no war and "paying rent" as those are two main concerns in the world and end on the higher views for human kind.

Thanks for sharing this hopeful vision and your well crafted weave! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **

732
732
Review of Last Flight  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Kerri, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" Open in new Window.! Here are my brief comments on your lovely poem! *Fire*

Wow! You really have a wonderfully unique expression and I like your choice of form! I have not yet managed to do the Rubyait! *Smile*

*Dragon* I enjoyed reading this weaving aloud for its effective soundscape and vivid images. The use of present tense is interesting and makes it immediate. I wondered at the word "disturbed near the end. Is it used as past verb or an adjective? You also used "lost" as the water "climbs" so there is a mixed tense happening. *Wink*

*Dragon* The personification of the ocean, breeze and water add drama. Your idea of why the dragon disappear is so unexpected! Well conceived! *Thumbsup*

*Dragon*The rhyme is well managed for the form using thematic vocabulary and interesting sounds. Consonance and assonance with some alliterative bits make it fun to read the sad themed flow.

*Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your stellar vision! Good luck in the contest.

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
733
733
Review of The Promise  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi huntersmoon, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" Open in new Window.! Here are my brief comments on your expression! *Fire*

*Dragon* Wow! This is a dramatic tale and I enjoyed the dragon characters. You really show his emotions well. It is amazing to get this whole story from the prompt.*Thumbsup* I liked the wish message at the end. If only... dragons are still waiting.

*Dragon* The verses are balanced and it was pleasing to read aloud with its rhyme, rhythm and imagery. The idea of the wise dragon and the magical spell. "a faded memory" and "not even history" is brilliant line.

*Dragon* The vocabulary was effective in creating the time with words like "sacred place", "keep", "sage", "oracle". I think you need a comma after "spew". It is interesting to have his mate worry about his soul being lost because of hate.

*Star*The personification of the dragons is well created and believable! I enjoyed the tale though it was sad to think of the end of dragonkind and the waiting for renewal! Hope reigns--which fits the symbol of the egg in the prompt. *Star*

Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* Good luck in the contest.
Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
734
734
Review of Passing the Egg  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi chris, thanks for entering "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" Open in new Window.! Here are my brief comments on your sonnet! *Fire*

*Dragon* You really have a flair for this form and your response to the prompt picture is delightful. I never thought of a mating or marriage ritual. Cool idea. *Cool*

*Dragon* I enjoyed the clear image and steps to the rite and the rhyme scheme rocked. I really liked "confer" and "complete" with "fete" though I think the latter word is not a rhyme unless you mean "feat" as in a task. Fete is a celebration but is pronounced with french short e sound.*Wink* I liked the "coal bed" as it made so much sense. *Laugh*

*Dragon* For a short poem I think you need a bit more variety of words as you repeat "egg" and "council" in close proximity. Something to consider. *Smile*

*Dragon*I notice "dragon's" in the second last line is possessive with the apostrophe and I wanted to ask the dragon's what? *Wink*

*Star*The poem has a happy tone with a touch of romance that suited the sonnet form! *Thumbsup*
Thanks for sharing this lovely vision!

Keep the quill scribing! *Star*
eyestar

A dragon reading a book by candle light


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
735
735
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Fairy* Hi Lisa. Yay! I just found this in our party activity!

*Cat*You really created a dark piece and he conversation with death is eerie. The images are clear and I could feel the fear of the poet pleading not to be taken. I like how you keep us guessing as to who the scarey voice was until near the end. Brilliant.

*Cat* The poem was coherent in its flow and content with a consistent rhyme scheme. It had a free style in its non patterned rhythm.

*Cat* The bit of punctuation assisted the read and I think you just need to add more quotation marks around the speaker's words so we know which is speaking. eg in verse 5 "Who are you? What do you wish?" {capital letter on 'what'} and then "I am death...etc" Same with verse 6 and 7, just to delineate actual conversation. I wonder if a natural punctuation might add to the potency of the read--having us pause at key points. *Wink* You did use periods in the last verses--so maybe be consistent in other lines.

*Cat*In verse 3 I was a bit confused by line 2 "you scare me if you can" as I am not sure if someone is talking and who "you' is. *Wink*

*bat*The atmosphere was creepy and you created the scene with detail. I like how it wound up with a happier image at the end. Many fear death but it has it's up side if the time has come. Wonderful message in the twist at the end. *Thumbsup*

*Cat* I enjoyed reading your dramatic vision. The title is so appealing as well. I would maybe take out the word count in the title now. *Star*

*Fairy*Write on! Great to see you at our Power Party!

~~Image ID# 2107516's Content Rating Exceeds Item Content Rating~~
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
736
736
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
*Fairy* Hello Megan. I am popping by with a review as I can't believe I missed this edition! *Shock*

*Heart* Oh, I enjoyed reading this valentine's edition and the picture of Darcy I had not seen before.
I really like the salutation using Janeites!

*Heart* I had not idea there was a commemorative coin in Jane's honor and a sculpture too! *Shock* I never really considered how old her novel was! Wow! Almost 200 years old! That is amazing longevity and a tribute to her popularity. *Thumbsup* You always manage to share some new tidbits. I liked your thinking about what a wedding would be like. What a dream. *Smile*

*Heart*I had heard the name of Jane's favourite author but have never really looked her up. It would be interesting. *Smile*

*Heart*Your newsletter is organized and the paragraphing is effective with each one considering a different topic. The pictures add interest and colour to the letter and shows off lovely art works and links to thematic items. *Thumbsup* I think the instances of Valentine's need to have apostrophe before s. *Wink* I look forward to hearing more about the Austin celebration too.

Thanks again for sharing your knowledge and love for Jane, and for updating the rest of us!*Starstruck*
Write on. *Quill*

eyestar
*Starbl* *Quill* A Write One, Review One Review for "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window. *Quill**Starbl*

Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop
737
737
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*HI Donkey Hoetay! *Smile**Gingerbread*

*Wink*I found this funny poem on the "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.! The title is evocative and the content is very amusing! I love the personification of the letters is brilliant. The voice of Q is plaintive describing many ways she cannot get free! Going to Qatar was a cool solution!

The verses are balanced as a quatrain form and the rhyme scheme consistent with interesting words! Imagine using "quixotic" as a rhyme. Fabulous! *Thumbsup* It was lively in tone and fun to read aloud. I had to smile at "my grammar"! *Laugh* Good play on words. The ideas of divorce, stalker, restraining order and "cleave" etc serve effectively to create the situation. *Salute*

*Quill* I wonder if you need a comma after "space" and an apostrophe in "its" to show possession of the tail in verse 4.

A delightful read with original content that is rather humorous. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
738
738
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC Astralrose! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Delight* I found this intriguing title on the Read and Review page. It is evocative and I like the idea of "fragments" like a puzzle pieces of life. *Thumbsup*

You used the prompt words in an imaginative episode. You set up the character and have us wondering who is talking to. Good hook that kept me reading. The speech he makes gave me the idea of his intelligence and philosphical interests.

I enjoyed how you kept the mystery to the end with the twist! I only had one idea that there was something amiss when the listener did not answer him--- I wondered if he was sleeping, or sick, or in hospital. At the end I go back to the inner debate line at the first. Good leading.

It is truly a flash type of item. I assume they are at a hotel and you leave it open as to whether he had been in the home before --or something recently happened. The wife did not seem surprised. Fascinating.

Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. *Starstruck*
Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
739
739
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Welcome to WDC, Mrs. B. Ray! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I saw this title on the Read and Review! The title sounds familiar and I like the notion. Using the key line repeating in each verse is effective. *Smile*

Your expression is lovely to read with its bright images vividly describing the beauty of a person. I felt that the colours stand for human qualities and the message that God creates beauty and it is for us to see.

The images chosen to use to illustrate the colours are effective and give us a strong visual. I like the dancing red and especially the verse on blue. Lovely use of alliterative sounds here.

The poem has a free style with 4 verses with a repeated refrain line. It is pleasant to read aloud and creates a positive upbeat atmosphere! *Heart*

Thanks for sharing this vision. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
740
740
Review of Noel Surprise  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Balloonp* HIYA Jatog the Green! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


I enjoyed reading your Christmas poem and the idea of surprise fits with the magic of the theme. I liked the premise that the adult gets the surprise-as is seen as a mystery! *Smile*

The experience is described vividly with details about the scene.
The poem was fun to read and well written. The rhyme is excellent and I appreciate the effort it took to get all the rhymes with "eyes" in each verse. Brilliant.

The poem has a definite form though there are a few syllable counts that do not match. It did not detract from the flow and meaning. *Wink* I see this is a Cramp entry so it is wonderful creation in such a short time!

I had a smile when he pinched himself, and wondered why he would have to take the cake to the lake to avoid flies---as it takes time for them to gather and I did not get the idea that the cake was that old. *Wink* It adds to the mystery.

Thanks for sharing this entertaining tale with effective word wizardry. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
741
741
Review of Rugged  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya Ben! YAY! I see that you are one of the Queen of Comedy Jesters for this round!*Laugh*

I so enjoy limericks so here I am. I find humor challenge to write but I like to laugh! *Smile* Your opening note is interesting too--and isn't it just like the English language. A rule..and then an exception! I will say I knew that one!

*Rolling*Oh my gosh! This is too funny! A great play on words. The word "rugged" as one syllable so fits your joke and makes sense used as a verb instead of adjective. Brilliant! *Salute* I burst out laughing. and the reading it with one or two syllables works!

*Fairy* The limerick is well composed with intact rhyme scheme and the 8-8-6-6-.. er 9 at the end.*Wink* A little leeway worked here for drama! The pause in the last line works to give the impression of shock!

*Laugh*It was so fun to read your entertaining poem. Thanks for sharing your gift and teachng us a little something too. Ah the magic of words! *Starstruck*
742
742
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Hiya W.D. Wilcox! YAY! I see that you are one of the Queen of Comedy Jesters for this round!*Laugh*

*Snow2* The smooth flowing title is clear and appealing, giving us a clue as to the poem theme. It was fun to ponder.

*Snow4**Laugh* Oh this is deligthful and you did a fine job of story telling til the comical last verse! The images were vivid as you described the sequence of events. I could imagine the frolicks and all I can say is BRRRR! Not something I would ever be interested in!*Laugh*

*Snow3* It was fun to read with its consistent rhyme. I noticed one off rhyme at the start. *Wink* I wondered about your repeating the word "dirty" so close in verse 1. The first instance may not be necessary. *Wink*

*Snow2*In verse 2, the third and foruth lines struck me. teh 3rd line is passive voice and personifies clothes. A neat idea but I wonder if a direct active voice would be better to stay consistent. Also in that verse--the second last line, I felt the comma was not needed as I wanted to read "played' with the next line. Otherwise it seems repetitive. "In a little game" would sound better too as you use "we" and "our" in the next line.

*Snow3*The verses are balanced and I like that the last verse is shorter as if to sum up the situation. It holds the twist and evokes the most laughs! *Thumbsup*

*Snowman* Thanks for sharing this unique comical vision. It made my day!*Star*
Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
743
743
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


*BalloonR**ConfettiP*HI Intuey! I am here with a review to celebrate you! *Star*
I found this lovely poem about geese for our Power Pet Raid! *Wink*


The notion in the title of the geese and willow spoke to me of grace and elegance, a quiet beauty and your picture on the page bears this out. Lovely! *Smile* I had never heard of this form, so thanks for the author note. I might put it at the bottom of the page to give the poem the first attention. *Wink*

Your poem paints an idyllic picture with vivid images and it flows in a coherent manner. The use of the key lines of the first verse into the next verses is seamless. *Thumbsup* Your use of poetic devices created a fine soundscape: eg. consonance (w, b, f etc} and alliterative phrases.
I enjoyed reading it aloud.

I noticed you used a lot of adverbs and used the same one twice in verse four. The Ly sounds do create a lyrical sound. I think you could leave off "quietly" in the last line as it is redundant. We can imagine that sleep would be quiet.

I appreciated the peaceful aura and tone of the atmsophere. It is quite meditative. *Delight*
Thanks for sharing your vision.

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*

eyestar
** Image ID #2111174 Unavailable **

744
744
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
*Heart**Fairy*Happy February Sum1! *Heart*


*Delight*}Wow! This is an intriguing story and I like the premise of the traveller. I am not a story writer so I can only speak as a reader.

You really show the effects of coming back from where ever he goes in a vivid way. The repeated segments show the pattern. I liked how you added humorous bits as he converses with MIchelle. It adds some lightness between the episodes.

*Alien*I was really drawn into the first story. The setting and characters were clear and the descriptions detailed. The dialogue was purposeful in story telling and showing character in the drama. Referencing the mystery of Rosewell is a wonderful setting for a story and bringing in the aliens among us is effective. The powers they have are amazing and I could buy into the timeless shifting. The idea of ET guides is cool.
I felt the story moved quite coherently with good detail and flow. You managed all the movements and people while keeping my attention.*Smile*

I see that this will be an ongoing story so I will hope to find out more about Ishmael and how Jon came to be involved in this fascinating plot.

I see by the beginning of he next chapter he will be in another place where an event happened. It seems he likes to go where there are mysteries. *Delight* I love the mix of fact and fiction! Please keep writing!

Thanks for sharing your creative vision. It was fun to enter! *Starstruck* I was entertained and not thrown our by any glaring glitches so I am rating on this! As you say this is a work in progress, there is likely aspects I wouldn't see as a non story writer! *Wink*

Light on the path as you write on!!*Star*
eyestar
** Image ID #1798477 Unavailable **

745
745
Review of The Business Man  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
*Balloony*Welcome to WDC Apologizing Adolescent Author Icon! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you and share my perspective as a reader. *Bookopen*

Wow! You have really captured the intensity of the pursuit and last minute escape. You drew me in with the action in the first line and made me curious as to what was going on! Your description was vivid and I liked how you kept up the drama. Just when we think the character will get away, something else happens. *Thumbsup* Well done.

It is interesting how you don't reveal that it is a woman til near the end. It adds another nuance to the chase. I like the clue of the tie and the "expensive car" that gives me the idea that he is a Somebody. *Wink*

Narration in the first person was effective and consistent. In the second line I think it would read better if you changed "leading" to "leads". You do not say who or what "Henley" is and at first I thought we would find out. Maybe she was running to there--but then she gets to her car.

An hour is a long time to run, though I guess the people were not injured. We still do not know the motivation or a plot line. So I assume there is more to ocme or an earlier scene. *Wink* Perhaps more could be added about the setting. Still, I was routing for her as from your description of him, something horrible happened. You leave lots out that could allow for more story line later. *Cool*

*Starstruck*Thanks for sharing this sample of your intriguing mystery.
Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
746
746
Review of Feathers  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC DHiman! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Bird*Wow! I so admire your crafting here! Your metaphor and image is so vivid and the tone rather sad! Your contrast of the innocent highflying bird in joy to the fall is potent. *Thumbsup*

The two line verses and the connective enjambments are so effective in the dramatic scenario and I was drawn to read til the end. Beautiful expression!

You might like to enter "Invalid Item" Open in new Window.. *Wink* You can check into other contests if you go to the Community tab on the left side of the page under Contests. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing this heartfelt expression. I really could enter into the vision with its deep undercurrents and commentary! Wow! *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
Like dragons: "DreamTime Dragon's Poem Contest" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
747
747
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
*Balloony*Hey Nicola! Guess what popped up on REad and Review today!*Delight* I guess it is an oldie but a goodie! *Delight* I am happy to review to celebrate you. *Bookopen*

*Heart* This expression is hearfelt and moving in its tone and I can identify with the polarity that comes with change approaching. I enjoyed the flow of the language that seemed poetic at times, especially in the beginning paragraphs. Lovely to read aloud.

It is obvious from the description and vibe the choice you prefer---that has lightness and would be true for you compared to the heavy vibe of staying! The query at the end echos thorugh time I am sure for all of us. It is like we do not know we are here to live our own joy and can still connect with the folks we love from afar.
I think we are so tuned into to others at times and their hopes for us that we do not let our own rise. We buy into their fears maybe.

At the end I was reminded of a mentor saying not to ask WHY but to ask How can I change this? Or What would it take for me to do this? As why leads us down a rabbit hole and in circles.

I now want to know what you did, seeing that this is an older peice. *Laugh*

Thanks for sharing this soul searching reflection! It shares an experience that is so relevant. I hope you found your way! *Starstruck*

Keep the ink flowing as you follow your muse and write on!*Star*
eyestar
Sig for blog/reveiws
GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon
748
748
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Welcome to WDC T.M.W.! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


Wow! Good for you for writing a sonnet! *Thumbsup* The title suggests there is a drama of some sort. I think you need to have an "s" or "ed" on Play in the title. *Wink*

*Delight* This was a delight to read and flowed smoothly in the way of a sonnet! Your rhythm and rhyme was in sync and the soundscape a marvel. Your use of alliterative words and techniques like assonance and consonance was effective. eg. "teasing and taunting", "seduced and sedated" etc! *Thumbsup* I liked the idea of "secret endorphins" as an expression too. Oh and the line "she sings....Lyre" is so lyrical! *Heart*

*Sun*You paint a vivid picture of this temptress and how the poet feels about her.

I think "can not" is one word. "cannot".

I so enjoyed reading and entering into your clear vision with it potent voice and atmosphere! I admire your craft! *Starstruck* Keep on writing.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable **
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
749
749
Review of Tiger Lily  Open in new Window.
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Balloonp* Hi katwoman! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Delight*


*Flowery* Oh, this is beautiful expression and I so enjoyed the uplifting vision of tiger lilies! *Salute* I can feel the admiration you have for them in your comparison to what we are "cultured" to admire! Brilliant notion in verse 4.

*Flowerp*Your imagery is vivid and the tale you tell of resisting picking them is effectively shown. The way you describe their fate if you did pick them is moving. I can so identify with that as they do die so quickly once taken in. I am lucky in the summer we have some blooming close by so we can see them. *Smile* I could imagine them in the vase as you describe.

*Flowerr* The poem is a free style which suits the wild content and emotional vibe. The first verse is my favourite and well written. The idea of "smudging" is original and I wished I had thought of it. What an image!

In verse 2 I wanted to remove "moving" from line 1 to shorten the line and also to give potency to the idea of "waving". I see the picture you want to make --that the grasses are also blowing in the wind and the flowers among them. Yet I feel it could be understood. *Wink*

*Flowerb*The poem was pleasureable to read aloud with its wonderful soundscape as you use techniques such as consonance, assonance and alliterative qualities in your word weaving.

*Flowerv* The last lines sum up the experience in a simple yet evocative way.

Thanks for sharing your admiration of these wild ones. I had a great time entering your vision. *Starstruck*

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
750
750
Review by eyestar~* Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp* Hi carly! Guess what popped up on the Read and Review page! *Delight* I am happy to do a review to celebrate you! *Laugh*


*Angel* Wow! I so enjoyed this timeless message of inspiration and gratitude! RIGHT ON!!

*Heart* The poem is tightly knit with a consistent rhyme pattern and free coherent flow. I liked reading it aloud as there are some lovely sound combinations is the chosen words. Active verbs like "bask", "glow" and "shiver" are effective and the image of "heaven winks" and the sound appeal of "groaning moan" are vivid. I had to smile at the latter!

*Fairy*The voice is positive and your advice from experience makes sense. It is uplifting and gives me the notion of a meditation.

I noticed one typo: "Breath" needs to be "Breathe" I think.*Wink*

*Star* I appreciated reading this tonight as it was a good reminder after a long week! Light vibes were being sent at the right time! *Heart* Thanks for sharing your vision.

Light on the path as you write on!
eyestar
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" Open in new Window.
Eyestar sig from Fanstasy shop
2,511 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 101 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/1starsong/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/30