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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Balloonp*Welcome Shivam_S to WDC! it's WDC's 17th Birthday and time to celebrate so here is a review for you!*Delight*


*Delight*I found your title on the Read A Newbie page and liked the personification of the tree! I love trees so I had to check out its song. *Delight* I really like how you compare the trees and wind to the soul. Beautiful notion.

I was charmed by your vivid imagery and flow in this free style poem. It has a soft tone that mimics the picture you paint. Good use of consonance and assonance (repeated letters} aid the flow and soundscape. I enjoyed reading it aloud. "brushing each leaf with a tender touch" gives the impression of gentleness and the interesting word "susurrus" fits well. I had to go look it up! *Smile* Brilliant for sound element and synonym effects.
The word "beautiful" is rather a weak describer though. *Wink* It could almost end with the word "serene" which describes the moment.

I would try not to use so many "and" words as well. eg. I would let the first three lines have a pause with a period after "souls". Then drop the "and" and begin with "Now". Does "them" refer to souls or the trees?
I would put a comma after "by" and period after "touch". That is a lovely line so let he reader pause and take it in. Then drop the "and" in line 9.
LIne 9: "to see and hear" would be more grammatical than "listen how" (listen to how)
"hear how" also adds to the flow with alliteration. *Wink* Comma after "joy".

Wonderful personification and observation of nature with a reflective tone. Thanks for sharing your vision! *Starstruck* I liked entering into it. Well worth a tweak.

*Star*Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Ahoy! it's WDC's 17th Birthday and time to celebrate so here is a review for you!*Delight*


*Delight* Wow! This is a brilliant and unique poetry contest in that it encourages team collaboration! It's three tier event schedule is also neat. I have seen similar for Character challege but not for poetry.

The page is sparkly and well organized with an inspiring quote and purposeful use of colour fonts.
The details about teams and rules of the task are detailed and clear. The dates outlined for each section of the contest are clearly stated. It is clear that much thought and planning went into this undertaking. *Thumbsup*

The drop down of the format outline is a wonderful and helpful idea.

The Prizes are generous and the Grand Prize is WOW! *Shock2*

I can't wait to pass the word! Thanks for creating this superb contribution to WDC!*Starstruck*

*Star*Light on the path as you write on!

eyestar
gifted sig from Lornda
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
*Balloonp*Hi Maryann! Congrats for all your great efforts at GOT! *Salute*


*Balloonp* I enjoyed your unique sci-fi response to the prompt! I would never have thought of this: a robot! Cool.

*Balloonp* The nonet form is well composed in syllable count and the image is clear. I like the positive theme that this boy can inspire a better world. I noticed you repeat word "love" and "peace" (peacefulness) and yet the last words fit the syllables and I don't know a synomym for "peace" to fit. LOL

*Star* Thanks for creating good vibes.

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629
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Naveed!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


Wow! You wrote a very intelligent well thought out article about this theme of the roice of Capitalism as you understand it. Your observations are clear and seem to bear out your opinions. The ending line is so true as we have freedom of our points of view and not every one is as consciuosly aware of long term effects.

I like that at the end you bring up the technologies of the age, for as beneficial as some are, the addictive nature of them and the negative power they can exert, as you say, may destroy human connection and individualism.

I found your premise tying Capitalism and Indsutrialisation to be sound and the queries you make are thought provoking as you make connections as to how capitalism has a big influence that is subtle in some cases, and controlling without folks being aware. It is a scarey thought and ahs some merit. The concept of "slavery" is interesting as well.

The arguement makes good points and I feel you have researched and thought about the theme to come up with your conclusions. I like the idea that "owning an Iphone is not the key to happiness". Yet try to take one away from a kid in class! *Facepalm* I think happiness is inside us, we make it, and it can come from giving and receiving together in a contributive way. *Heart*

I really admire your clear ideas and the way you think about these world issues. You have a wisdom and knack for seeing through what many do not see yet. Thank you for sharing your observations and inspiring thought in this well written piece! *Starstruck*




*Sun*Highest regards and Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fashion Universe  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Don Two!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


This title is so interesting and made me curious, especially as it is in the fashion genre. As I read I thought it was an original concept and could just imagine him wearing this amazing suit. He will really stand out!

Your free form poem suits the content and theme and really paints a vivid picture of the man in the store being convinced to buy this strange suit. The way you describe the salesman is brilliant. The comparing his smile with"Piano keys", (ew slick) and the scientific description was hilarious in verse 3! *Laugh* Well done! As soon as he took him to the back of the store..he was like he cued in to a potential customer for these sales. LOL

The verse with the description of the suit of space where you weave in all the elements of space is amazing and I am sure took some time to get it to flow with nice sound elements and coherence. I don;t know if you need the adverb "succinctly". What does that sound like if it was to be more vivid? I think "replied" works. *Wink*

His jubilation at how he looked in the suit was well shown as well.
He really wants to get attention, though at first was not into it.It is as if once he had it on, it was magical. I like how you wove the tailoring language into the shopping trip as well. eg. the measure tape, salesman, alterations, etc.

This was fun to read and visualise. Thanks for sharing your unique vision.*Starstruck*

*Sun*Highest regards and Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail GK!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


I found your satirical title and it made me think of times in life when we get off kilter with the rest of the world and the idea of a tuxedo cat in you tag line sounded fun.

I had to laugh at the realism in the first verse. I have had cats! The image is so clear and you set up your affection and dedication to the cat. *Heart*

This was fun to read with its lively vibe and clear voice. It seems like a free style form as not all of the lines are same length for a specific rhythm though you begin with a lovely flow and rhyme secheme. I wondered why in the latter verses you gave up the rhyme. I think consistency here would add to the flow and soundscape. *Wink* I see you have the last two words in the last two verses rhyme so you seemed to change the pattern. *Smile*

Your imagery is vivid and the rhymes in verse 2 are unique and interesting. The question to the cat is sweet and shows the significance of the cat in your life. I love the description "mini-mammalian", alliterative and brilliant!

In the poem you address the cat with the voice ..eg. you, you are..etc. yet in the last verse you go to the third person. To be consistent and add potency it is usual to have the same voice throughout. You could simply add: "you, my sharp...love me..." *Wink* for a quick fix.

The notion of two tone and tuxedo is really cool and made me think the cat was black and white. The comparison to a bowling pin is fascinating too.

Thanks for sharing your tribute to your cat's better fashion sense and your appreciation for this companion. *Star* Well worth tweaking. *Wink*

*Sun*Highest regards and Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Sookdeo!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


Oh wow! I love watching herons and even today one flew with its long legs stretched out and wings spread, fright over my car as I drove! So It is co cool to find this poem! *Smile*

The poem has a heart-felt sentiment as the poet learns a lesson from the heron.I was drawn into the image and comparison of the one troubled and the heron showing up every day trusting that he is cared for. You words are well chosen and and line 2-3 in verse two is marvelous> "..proceed...seed. The promise at the end is brilliant and touching. A fine blend of the two souls.

The verses resemble quatrains with balanced with consistent rhyme scheme and a 10 syllable count per line. I did notice a couple of lines off: in the blue font verse 3. Lines 1 and 3 were longer. You mention them in your tag line but I am not familiar with continental sonnet and could not find a link.
I am not sure if you meant them to be as the verse itself in emphasized in colour so it may have special meaning. I am not sure I get it just yet. *Smile* It was good to read aloud as you have some effective poetic techniques at play: rhyme, alliteration, repetition of some letters that create an interesting soundscape and assist the flow. My favourite is the second verse. Wonderful flow, vivid image and good enjambent with "proceed". Inner rhyme worked well here too. I liked the picture in the first verse too and its metaphor or the mirror and puddle as a connection to the pond of the heron. *Thumbsup*

You really captured my attention and gave food for thought in this inspirational and hopeful sonnet. Thanks for sharing your vision and craft. I admire the effort and time it would take to create the form conherently with it's deep message. *Starstruck* I enjoy meditating with Nature's creatures..it truly is a school if we but see and hear.

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail StephB.
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun**Delight*Wow! I was so intrigued by your title as it evoked a strong sound and image that I could imagine dragon wars. Wonderful hook!

*Fire*The energy vibration of the poem is potent and the pace was fast. You really used your form, style and wordings to create the atmosphere of battle and the flight of dragon. Repeating words effectively mimicked speed and sound effects and added to the drama of the scene.

*Sun*The use of poetic devices like alliteration, repeated consonant and vowel sounds was excellent and made the read exciting and fun. Harsh sounds like the "d", "c" and 'g" contrast the softer and longer sounds of "er", "th", "f" and "w" to help create vivid sound. I am always fascinated by how this is done so expertly. I appreciate the effort to conceive the right stuff! *Thumbsup*

*Dragon* The picture is brought to life by the sound as much as by the vivid images. Short lines and phrases create the beat and stops to mimic movements of warriors, and dragons and punctuation served the dramatic read. Well done.

Whew! Thanks for sharing this energetic vision and crafting. I loved it! *Starstruck* Yummy to read.

*Sun*Highest regards and Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Leger!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


You may ask why I am reviewing a Christmas item in the middle of a hot GOT battle field, but your cnote shop just popped up on my favs on the side bar, and hey I could use some cooling off. I have used these notes for Secret Santa, but not reviewed it. *Shock* I am wondering as I saw you edit, that you may have added a couple of cnotes. If so Yay, if my memory is bad, sorry.

Your shop is christmassy and I like the picture in your door way that is so welcoming. Your introduction is short and directs folks quickly. I like how you can do anonymous as that is important for Secret Santa. The prices are very cheap and really serve the season and purpose as players have a month of gifting and could break the bank. These can serve as extras to left people know a gift is coming. I like using them to put poetry notes in as gifts. *Wink*

You have a variety of styles each with their own message. I like how some of them have a note inside about being from Secret Santa. The addition of the last promisary note is brilliant and I think the one I use often as I like to send my own MB and Ribbon gifts... so this is a cool card for letting them know something will come later. The scene is so precious too. It is my fav on the page. *Heart*

The first card seems new to me and I love the warmth the image exudes, not to mention the sweet treats.
The old fashioned SAnta and Elf cards are unique and so glad to see the elf on the shelf gets a place here. His lively Hello would be fun to recieve. The Peace angel card is vivid and I love the red candy canes with the message of "Sweet treat!" Right in keeping with the season. The gleaming eyed Santa is iconic for you Secret Santa activity as you have a sig with it on. Here we do get to send the twinkle in his eye though and that feels like the magic of Christmas. *Wand*

*Starstruck*Thanks for creating this magical cnote shop and Christmas Activity. It is a thoughtful contribution to the WDC!

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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Review of Reflection  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Maryann!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*Wow! Another wonderfully unique creation.
The mirror glyph on which you have written the poem on reflections is a brilliant idea. The pallindrome suits that picture as well.

The poem is composed well to the form. I can imagine the effort it took to get the words to work backwards and forwards and make sense. I like the uplifting vibe and positive message. The image of joy and that thoughts and reflection can bring inspiration is a wise notion.

The repetitive word of "again" is an effective refrain and suggests the cycle of flow of the aspects of the message on the mirror and adds to the pace. It was fun to read with its pleasing flow. The repeating sound of "ion", "ing" and "l" create a lovely soundscape. I like the idea that the poet has a positive outlook on life and herself.

Minimal punctuation is effective here as less punctuation allows for a seemless mirror reflection of the words, with now pausing. Good choice. *Smile*

Thanks for sharing this uplifting vision and crafting! *Star* I have never done this form so I can learn from you.

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Lady Maryann!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*Yay! I found more of your Harry Potter items and really like what you did with this prompt. It is amazing that you put it on a old looking piece of scroll that might have out of Tom's Diary..so it is a great element that adds to the atmosphere of the piece.

The poem is a bit hard to read due to the small script on the banner paper. The hand written script gives authenticity to the theme though. The writing has a consistent rhyme scheme and varied line beats but it did not detract from the message. If you were to edit, being consistent in this area would make it even more potent. *Wink* You have successfully summed up the "diary" story in a few lines. *Salute* Amazing feat. You did a good job with having to change the tense to suit the time line.

I laughed at the rhyme with "Weaseley" That is a tought one, and so fitting for the influence of the diary. I noted only one off rhyme with "Tom" yet the one you use makes the most sense. I liked reading the 3rd line aloud even though you use a long adverb it has a dramatic flow. Reminded me of a mind plotting each step along the way. LOL

I had to smile when you said "good read" in quotes..as it is true but not how it sounds. She liked someone who understood her..but.."LOL Good one!

I enjoyed your creative composition with its original presentation. Thanks for playing in the blog challenge to honour Potter! *Star*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Lady Maryann!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun* Yay! I am happy to find some new treasures to review! Ilove stars so I was drawn to your theme of the Milky way. I like that decorative spinning spiral that attracts my eye. I could get hypnotized. LOL

Your poem was a delight to read with its happy uplifting tone that suggests a wonder at the magics of space. It is well composed in 2 quatrains with a summative couplet. The rhyme scheme is consistent and effective with true rhymes like "twirl" and "whirl" which are my favourites and such vivid verbs to create the imagery. Simple words chosen well to create a pleasing sound as I read it aloud too. Instances of consonance like "t", "m" "w" help create the flow.

The images you create are vivid and I enjoyed the descriptive language like the dancing stars and the last line in verse two. "twirl like glitter" is a brilliant simile too. I could so imagine it.
The "whirlpool" is so cool too. You really have captured the milky way in an imaginative manner.

In verse one I liked the enjambent in line 3 to join with "like glitter". The word "throughout" threw me at first. I know you need to rhyme with "about" and I guess it means throughout the black hole?. so it does work. *Smile*
I see that you are using a wonderful balanced rhythm count of 10 in each line to create consistent format of the quatrain. Nice work!

The mood was light and uplifting with a positive vibe that made me smile. The wonder of a child is what I sense here. Beautiful! *Thumbsup* The invitation in the last line is a great way to engage us to do our own exploration.

Thanks for sharing your bright vision. I had fun.*starstuck* Glad I found your cool new writings. It could also fit in Children's genre. *Wink*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Keeper of the Realm! Time for a treat!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


Wow! This game is awesome and I can see folks are enjoying it so pat yourself on the back! I really like the concept and it puts folks on their toes to be aware what others are posting and self regulating. The rule about you not checking up is priceless. Just like the one about you are on your own and the one that follows it. *Laugh*

The page is simple in black and white and your glyph pictures make a lovely border for a kingdom House. The rules are many and one must read with a fine tooth comb. There is some clarity there and I like how you put things that make me do a double read to be sure. LOL I enjoy the serious tone of the rules mixed with your sense of humour. eg. like "no you can't complain about unfairness."*Laugh*

It is cool that the poetry WC can double (as some poems are short} but your rationale is cute:
post correctly. I also enjoy when you state the obvious in the rule on prompts. (well of course we may not ahve seen the links then so it makes sense, but I still laughed) It felt like a free for all and I imagine folks tumbling all over each other with swords, spears and armor all getting tangled.

You provide a fun, and bit more relaxed way to earn points and people do love a bit of independence. *Thumbsup*

Your categories are varied with the expected poetry and story tasks. It was cool to see the articles and news items for a bit of variety. You have some really interesting prompts there and I appreciate the time it took to create them.

The game is organized chaos and the scrolls are updated regularly enough. Good on you and your forest children! Thanks for creating yet another GOT challenge. You have a gift! *Starstruck*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **
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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Laugh* I caught your title on Read and Review! I like the flow of the words and alliterative sound, not to mention the theme. My friend has a state of the art outhouse on her property not liek the one I am sure you mention here. This reminds me of ones my grandparents had when they were young. It also puts me in mind of an old song about an outhouse. *Laugh* Thanks for the memory. so..your poem is evocative already.

This was fun to read and I could almost sing the words. The ode has a rather sad tone as reflected in the image you convey of abandonement, and disrepair. The poem has two rhyming couplets around a single line, which is interesting. It mostly flows well though the last lines are longer in syllables that the first two. Wonder if that had a purpose or could be tightened to fit a smoother consistent flow. *Wink* Or not.

I appreciated reading it aloud as the soundscape added to the flow and atmosphere of aloneness.
The repeated sound "a" in "stands abandoned", "contemplation" and "dank" draw out the flow.
Vivid verbs like "perched" describing how one sits and "installed" help us see the image.
I liked the inner rhyme in line 4 and again the sound and short phrases mimic "broken" sounds.
It is the trickiest one to read aloud easily for flow in the poem.

I really got a kick out of the last line as you draw us in to the sad situation of the outhouse all forlorn and then I wanted to laugh at the reason. It struck me funny. Yet I can hear an older guy's voice just telling it like it is, with a hint of loss as the new generation is moving ahead.

Brilliant ode and tribute to the outhouse. Thanks for sharing your lyrical vision! *Starstruck*

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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640
640
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Gabriella!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Delight*Oh my gosh. It has been a long time since I have read Shakespeare so this is awesome! The title drew me it with its archaic language and romanticism and it was appealing that it was inspired by Shakespeare.*Heart*

The love poem was well composed and a pleasure to read aloud. The contrast of lost love with the longing still is bittersweet. The style mimics the archaic poetry and I like the phrases like "doth show", "naught but", and "glorious stain" as well as "enthralled" as they add to the overall tone and reflect the high old fashioned style.

The emotional element was vibrant and one can hear the sigh in the voice as well as its clarity of knowing her heart at the end.
.
I thought the flow was smooth and well paced. I enjoyed the sounds of the words as I read and was not thrown out of the read, though I notice not all beats are the same in the lines. I am not sure if this is a strict form yet in essence mirrors the style of this great poet.

It is an amazing and heart felt creation and expresses love and pain of love so effectively. The imagery of the mirror, and "winter edge" is vivid and it is easy to enter your vision. Thanks for sharing your gift! It was a treat to be reminded of this lofty style. *Starstruck*

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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641
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Gabriella!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*I was drawn to the inspiring title of this cool cnote shop that supports the beloved Rising Stars. Your introduction shares the artist particulars and the reason for its creation. A lovely gift from Brooke! when you say each note with photograph is as unique as an individual you were not kidding. Each note is elegant, colourful with a specific flower bloom and encouraging adjective on it. Magnificent display is appealing to scroll through. The prices are very reasonable for everyone! *Heart*

The photos feature a brilliant coloured bloom accented with an elegant script in a matching colour. They are highlighted well as the background elements, leaves etc are greyed in. Excellent compostions that anyone would be thrilled to receive.
That the orchid has the word exceptional is right on. I wondered if when picking the descriptive words, the artists looked up meanings of flowers. *Wink* I enjoyed the Perservering one and the Remarkable flower as well. My favs of the moment. LOL

It would be cool if the names of the blooms could be dropnoted in your opening space.

Thanks for contributing this marvelous artistry in a shop for all to enjoy. I am glad that the proceeds serve a good cause too. *Star*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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Review of Scenic C-Notes  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Lady Elizabeth!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Shamrock*I came across this cnote shop with its alliterative title, which indicates the kinds of cnotes you have. It is marvelous that you took these photographs yourself. They are beautiful and appealing! And of Ireland! I would love to go there and here you have some scenic pictures. Wow! I noticed the fascinating magical cover pic and it brought me here.

The photographs are real gems. I fell in love with the cave, an opening to another land was evoked. Dunluce Castle is mystical too and I could see creating my own poetic message to send with it to friends. I liked how you captured the water in Lover's lane and the Irish Cityscape is quaint. These photos can inspire anyone and can be used for anything as there are no specific messages on the notes themselves.
The prices are very reasonable too. *Smile*

Your introduction is short and reveals the source of the pictures and that they are available. I think the shop is worth sprucing up with some colour and a welcome section. Maybe even some decorative emoticons to give it a friendly aesthetic appeal. Only a suggestion as the photos speak for themselves.

What a wonderful way to show off you talent and contribute to WDC in a meaningful and creative way! *Starstruck* Thanks for sharing your gift.

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **

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Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail the Rhyme Maven!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Delight*Wow! The symbolism of "blinds" in your wonderful weaving is brilliant and applicable for the theme. In fact, we all need to lift our blinds and not judge so much, even in little things. Your theme is so relevant and your point of view is clearly shown in this expression.

I loved reading this for its lively vibe and smooth flow of well constructed quatrains. The rhyme scheme and rhythm is balanced in each verse as the message is revealed in a coherent way. Your use of poetic devices like assonance (like short i, a, etc} and consonance (like c, t, d} served the poem effectively as well. The soundscape created made me read it again. Strong dramatic tone as you reveal how foolish racism is and the danger to our children, who learn from us. Sad fact. Your call for people to look at the similarities and to go beyond judgement and fear is clear and powerful. Hooray for your last verse, especially the last line. So true. Capitalizing key words here show you mean it! I could hear frustration in the voice with the illogical insanity of racism. It is like you want to shake someoone awake! LOL

The last line in verse 3 is powerful image and connects well with the "spellbound" children. A scarey situation.

Your voice and delivery of your message is vibrant and heart felt. Punctuation served the work for drama and pause and use of italics and caps at key spots added emphasis and showed heightened emotion. Amazing creation. *Thumbsup*

Thanks for sharing your potent meaningful vision with such heart. I appreciate your gift and word wizardry as a contribution to the world. *Starstruck*

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

** Image ID #2127588 Unavailable **
644
644
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Dorianne!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


I was checking for Opinion peices and this title popped as an intriguing and sad topic for an Acrostic poem. I like the form and your alliterative tagline revealed so much! Good hook and read so far. *Thumbsup*

Wow! Your weave has a potent vibe to it and was tightly woven with language that related well to the image you portray so vividly. Each line presented a horror event or opinion on the effects of the bomb. And your last line evoked the senselessness and disregard of the order to drop the bomb. The idea of a temper tantrum as reason is evocative. Well done.

I enjoyed reading the poem aloud for its soundscape is effective with good use of assonance and consonance as well as heavy words like "devestation" and "charred" that add to the atmosphere.
The notion of the "Lucky burned survivors" struck my heart.. as the burns would have been terrible and the trama long lasting..yet lucky they lived. Moving contrast to think about. Good line.

The form is well composed as well and flows in a coherent manner. I just wondered about putting a colon on the second line as the next two lines are examples and seem to refer back to that line.
I wondered about the "Each victim.." would that also be one of the sights you refer to in line 2
or meant to be a fact on its own. It is in the present tense--so is it current?
If it goes with line 2, you could say "dieing inch .."*Wink* Minor query that struck me in the read.

This is a powerful reminder and tribute to this historic tragedy. Thank you for sharing your vision. *Starstruck* It would be tough to write about.

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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Review of The state of one  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail silent poet!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Delight* The title intrigued me with its evocative idea. I wondered about putting capitals on "state" and "one" as they are key words in the title.*Wink*

Your free style poem was a good choice for the potent emotional content and theme. Wow! I could really see and feel for this speaker in his remorse. The voice is narrative and reveals the feeling when caught in the wrong doing of some sort. The way you describe his stance and his inner thinking is clear. The voice point of view is consistent to the end.*Thumbsup*

The sad mood is vivid too and the repeating line about loneliness is effective. I thought repeating the line "why, they asked" was a nice touch too. *Smile*

I notice that you do not use consistent rhyme or verse structure as verses are different lengths.
I do like how you did add rhyme at varying places as it added a flow and pace admidst the slower emotional heaviness.

In verse 2, I liked the way you constructed line 3. I just wondered if "face"should be plural as in the line above, speaking of the ones you let down. Or are you speaking now of one face in particular and you do mention a "she" in the last verse, with the harshest words. *Wink*

That last verse confused me a bit . The start and end were fine. It was just a bit incoherent as all of a suddedn there was this "she" and her words and actions. I am assuming at the beginning you speak of family or friends who are upset with the poet for something. In the end I like how the poet has to face himself and come to reconciliation. *Sun* Now the girl here may have been the poet's own face and voice, as we are hardest on ourselves. *Wink*

Thanks for sharing this vision. The theme is relevant as I know we have felt like this. *Star*

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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646
Review of Today  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail spacer! *Delight*
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*Your title is direct and turns my mind to the present. It makes me think of a wise saying about Just for today and we only have the present.

In your poem it takes on a different flavour as the poet hopes the new day will be different than any other and yet fears it.

I was drawn into the speaker's reverie and his struggle with past trauma that keeps him trapped though he has been given fine wisdom, indicated in the poem by the quotes Like "carpe diem" and I enjoyed the alliterative "time and tide" saying. Good choices to go with the theme. I would put italics or quote marks around the "Carpe Diem" as they are spoken here {even if in the mind).

The personification of the day watching and yelling is brilliant as you have the speaker project those ideas on to the day. The lines where they watch is other is an interesting image too. *Thumbsup*

The poem had a regular rhyme scheme and was easy to read. The rhythm of lines was not always even with the longer lines. YOu have some delighful sound elements like alliteration in "forever fear" and repeated "v", "o" and "i" along with meaningful rhymes that add to the flow and pace.

I thought the repeating of the word "me" was effective in verse 2.
You hav captured the essence of the speaker's depression and being paralyzed in past regret.It is interesting he has to fight himself to live. The image of him under the covers is sad and is like a metaphor of hiding his reality out in the world too perhaps. We all ahve masks and he fear of being found out. I like the bit of hope at the end.

Thanks for sharing such a poten vision. I hope this person chooses Today. *Star*

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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647
647
Review of Drownin' in Air  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail a Sunflower in Texas!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*I had to check out this curious title on the Psychology genre page! How can one drown in air? *Laugh* Good hook. I had to find out!

*Delight*A truly evocative free verse poem with a strong voice and point of view. I enjoyed all the references to sayings, singers, games, politics as you show your unsettled morning reflected in the world.
I had to laugh as the serious use of "Rock paper scissors". LOL Certainly can feel that way. The illustrative use of texting made me smile too as it is totally annoying how things are spelled and trying to figure it out. Thanks for cluing me in with a foot note. I had not idea what you were saying in verse 2. *Rolling*
My favourite was the Scrabble as I imagine trying to play with folks who use text speak..like anything goes!
The word "quagmire of jelly" is brilliant and not a word we often hear. I wonder if it would even autospell on text. *Rolling*

The imagery you create and flow of the work illustrates confusion and frustration of the poet who would like to chuck it all and say the words you so cutely left off at the end. The period suffices yet I wonder about an exclamation mark. I see your reasoning as the whole thing is like an exclamation mark so why over do it? LOL

This was fun read with alively pace and seems to serve as a release of frustration, so the title notion really does apply...one could choke in the quagmire in the airwaves of reality these days. *Starstruck* Thanks for your original vision!

*Sun*Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
648
648
Review of Sound of silence  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*Sun*Hail Geomancer!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*Wow! I enjoyed this poem and it fits the psychological genre. It has a reflective tone as you consider the sound of silence. The alliterative title works and the surprise that there is no silence in the mind here. I like how use the crickets to mirror the mind chatter too.

*Sun*The poem verses are balanced as I read them aloud and your rhymes are effective. I liked the short rather blunt lines combined with the longer flows in the third line of each stanza. It is well conceived in imagery and the mirror effect and rhyme of each third line is amazing! The soundscape of your words add to the flow and coherence, with uses of rhyme. alliteration and some assonance and consonance. (sh, t, s, long i etc}

*Sun*The images of sitting on the porch at night, mind knot, the metaphor of the thoughts "smashing the shore" are vivid. The setting is perfect for the theme of reflection and down time. I thought the word "nudge" was effective too as I can sense the mind would even take a nudge to get out of the spin.

*Starstruck* I enjoyed pondering your vision and can totally relate. The contrast of the relaxation sought in the first verse and the rising of the mind, in the silence, is a relevant notion. *Wink*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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649
649
Review of Grave Warden  
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
*Sun*Hail Wolfbane!
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*I found this on the Geneology page and was drawn to the evocative title as it can speak to the job and also the seriousness of the task. It is obvious from the tone of the sonnet that he is proud of his mission and it is worth doing well.

*Sun*A sonnet is a wonderful choice for weaving the vision, enotional vibe and the singificance of the theme. It is well constructed with accurate rhyme and flow, and the imagery is vivid. Strong images with similar soundwords like "blasted into granite" and to the tone and sound appeal. Your use of some instances of assonance and consonance adds to the flow and to the reading aloud.

"of the many grave" is interesting as I wanted to read "graves" for plural though I see you want to rhyme with "slave". The idea of choosing to be slave is a potent one speaking of the warden's devotion.*Thumbsup*

Did you mean to emphasize the love in verse 1 with "soo" or is that a typo? *Wink*

One line that was awkard to read was line 3 in verse 2. "things" is so general althougth the "alliterative "th" sounds here is cool.

In the summation couplet, I wondered at the word "family's". Did you mean the plural "families"?

This was a unique vision and I can sense this speaker's respect for the deceased and families. Well done. *Star*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*
eyestar

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
650
650
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Sun*Hail Prosperous Snow.
*Bird*A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Sunspear Review just for you!*Sun*


*Sun*Your cute title caught my eye and I had to check it out.
We always assume bluejeans in the old days were farm clothes so I like your revelation that perhaps it was not so.
Your vision of your grandfather and his day in history is vivid from your memory. You capture the pioneer spirit and culture by using images of your grandpa at work and at church. Even days off meant there was work to do. The phrase "Sunday go-to-meeting clothes" is perfect description and a common phrase reflecting the times.
The idea of wearing Khakhis to church is a new idea to me as well and must mean that they were the good clothes.

The free style of the poem suits the theme and the reflective intent. The words are simple and give the idea of a child remembering the grandfather and I felt there is an aspect of pride she feels for him.*Smile*

I remember that jeans used to be the cheap rugged wear and now they are fashion! *Laugh*

This was a lovely look at the past and made me wonder about my grandfather. He was a lumberjack and then a miner. I recall he said they wore longjohns all winter in the camps. *Smile* Thanks for sharing your family memories. *Star*

*Sun* Light on the path as you Write on! *Sun*

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