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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ... I used to make up words here. dragonfly~guess who's back?  thought she had made some up once, but I really invented them. And, yes, I prefer to think of it as "inventing" words, not making them up, as I truly doubt Shakespeare was like "I'm gonna make up words", no, he sat in his lab with a pen and a pad and invented words. Good words, too, like "the" and "plaintiff". RANDOMNIMITY: The measurement of random event occurring in a given time frame. That is my oldest invented word, but it's a damn good example. These words are for situations that have yet to arise, sciences that remain unknown, or the nunce-words for when Webster can't quite help you. FUTUROTROCIOUS: Something that in the future will be considered tacky or unacceptable. (i.e. "Hannah Montana is totally futurotrocious... and racist.") A new one, see. This comes easy to me. ROBOLASERTRON: A soda machine... from the 80's. Since it's Friday, Memorial Day weekend, and whatever, your homework is to invent words, and then post them in the comments. All words will be considered for entry into the new ZACTIONARY (A dictionary compiled by Zack). You have to include your definition. I don't want to see new definitions for old words and vice versa. And I don't want to see 80 different variants of "ball tap", two ore three should cover it. So get to inventing words. |
| ... creatures on God's green (but browning) Earth. I went on a platonic date last night. Platonic dates are kosher: the chick gets an escort and the dude an evening with a girl for the sake of showing off. The bar doesn't know that you're not an item, as far as anyone knows, you're... an item (wow, I really fizzled there). Where men get dumb is asking too many questions, getting too comfortable with the platonichick. You begin to think, "I could date this girl. Things are going well, why not." I don't want to say that I, per se, thought that, but something like it. Come to find out, she's dating a guy who gets out of jail in June... Two questions: One: How do you date a guy in jail? Two: What's he in there for? You can't ask either question aloud. The first is too forward and the second is too depressing. I know for a fact that you can't go to jail for BEING THE BEST DAMNED BOYFRIEND EVER so no matter what the answer, you learn you are less dateable (datable? date-able?) then a guy wearing a county jump suit working on his GED! Thank you college for nothing Oy vey. I saw the new INDIANA JONES flicker show this morning. It's still too early to judge how I feel. Someone else watch it and let me steal your thoughts. I know what you haven't seen though: http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34550008 Rumiez Episode 17, which is by far, the funniest thing you will ever get out of reading this. I'm in it, towards the end, so if you want to see me, you have to watch all the way till the end. Oh, and before I go, today is "Movie Poster Quote" review day. So all your reviews should appear as the snips films use from critics. Like so, "This blog will make you wish that someone destroyed the English language and burned cyberspace." - Tonto Jones, The Daily Weekly Reader. |
| ... they're trying to assassinate me. The Judas! The Benedict Arnold! Oh, how they've wronged me! A certain room mate of mine (who will not be named) and a certain ex-girlfriend of mine (who will not be named) are conspiring behind my back! It's not a hard trick to pull, my back's hairy, it's hard to see what's going on. In any event, these two and others (who will not be named) are planning this hugely, cool trip to Toronto. Do they tell me? NO! Not until the unnamed ex and her roomie need a place to crash in Syracuse when they come and get my unnamed roomie. "Is it cool if they crash here?" comes the question all innocent with malicious intent aimed at me (who will not be named). Tyranny! Defilement! Gerrymandering! WTF, man... WTF... I said I'd think about it, but I'm going to say no. If they didn't want to include me in their plans before, then they don't need to include me in their plans now. So, "NO" it is, and then we'll see who has the last laugh  . HEY! You people need to listen to me. Where are your blogs? Why haven't you been doing it? I'm talking to one side of the room and they know who they are. I came back all excited to see you guys and look what I get... a bunch of defunct, unkempt blogs. Maybe it's what I deserve for being away so long, but what Zacky want, Zacky get! So this is a call, I'm putting the blogfibrulator paddles to your collective chest and yelling "CLEAR!" I'd do mouth to mouth but, you know, some of you may get the wrong idea... and the rest would get the right idea. So please, blog with me, we'll do it for the kids. I have to believe that it's because you are all lazy. If I ever thought that it was because you got lives, then where would that leave me and my self esteem? |
| ... me before, trust me now about this Rumiez video. This is a comic masterpiece. http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34550008 We shot and chopped a good deal of it last night through to five am. Our "Lava Links" spoof and the "Cheaters" spoofs are classic! We have a clown! I'm serious. If you watch one YouTube video I post this year, this one has got to be it. I need feedback; technical and creative. We're at that point where we're ready to grow. There's a short film in the works and festivals a coming. It's the same level though where you have to create a budget, a real one. Our biggest problem is talent wrangling. Actresses are hard to come by for stuff like this. Especially studied and trained actresses who would find the show a hard sell anyway. Anyhoo, dig the vid. The puke, was there when we got there, we just shot with it. Gyro King doesn't exist, but you'd never know that would you. And that chain was really yanked around my neck. See what I did, you're curious now. You have to watch. I just used my Media Communications degree, that's what it's there for. Where is Deb? Where is Tin's sister? What did Gabby do to them? |
| ...Not An Image** "And who are you to judge what is and is not an image?", I ask defiantly. It was a long and exhausting journey back here, to you, and this. Many beasts of burden croaked, many monsters of apathy retired. It all started a year-ago, when a little wizard brought me a ring and said, "Z-Bo, you gotsta get this ring to -" Oh, but I'm just boring you to death, so I'll cut to the quick. I live in Syracuse, NY presently, and hate the fact that all of this state is about the Yankees or the Mets. Bogus. More so, there are these traitorous NYers that turncoat and cheer for the Red Sux. A) Being a traitor to your ilk and motherland is never cool. B) Flipping to root for the Red Sux... is there a God? I was working for a Canadian contractor editing some e-documents for the government. Just a heads up, if you want to work for the government as a contractor or bureaucrat, you should probably wait till this election is over. Otherwise, same old Zack. The only thing creative I've been doing is RUMIEZ, the oft imitated, never duplicated, webisodes. Cool story, I was hired, by Jarred and Cam, to mow their lawn. They knew it though, once I started the weed-whacker, that I had the goods. OH! I nearly forgot, I was talking about going to school over-seas when I was leaving. I didn't. But I'm still looking into that. Bard College, in NY and Syracuse U were two I thought I would apply to. I didn't apply at all to Syracuse cause this city... it ain't a city. And Bard rejected me cause, like my last girlfriend, they saw a discrepancy in their beauty and my own, particular brand of looks. So yeah, there's that. Someone needs to run down the facts, get me caught up. What can I and what can't I make fun of here? Who won the WdC Democratic Caucus? Who left, who stayed, who made babies, who got married then made babies and which babies can I make fun of? I don't want to get all teary eyed, but... I missed you guys. I missed all of you and the praise and complements you showered onto me. This is a give take relationship and I'll do the takin! |
| ... still work? Hi, you probably don't know me, but I used to be Z.Hume, a man the John Birch Society said was a "kosher fellow traveller". I used to write here, but I don't anymore, but I will again... or not, I don't know. In any event, if you do know me than there's something you should know - RUMIEZ is what's happening... now... right in all your faces! I did it! You watch it! The 13th http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=31483494 The 15th http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=33705648 The 16th http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=34117606 We have some catching up to do WdC, and I've brought the wine coolers, so let's sit back and have a taste. |
| Louis, Louis. Home again, home again. And what a first morning back. Woke up late for work, bleh, had to go to work, bleh, then I blehed all over the bleh-de-bleh-bleh. Ah, St. Louis, it's like ninety-billion degrees outside. Makes a man's pants musty. New York rocked. I had a great time, which I knew I would, primarily because I watched 0 sports while I was there and prayed to my portable Pujols Shrine in keeping with my faith. Guess who I hung out with while I was there! Take a guess, just one, nope, you were wrong. Jay's debut novel is out now!   and I met for a few drinks in Harlem's Lenox Lounge. We talked about all kinds of stuff in the very same randomnimity fashion of this blog; Transformers (which I forgot to mention that night, I can trace my family tree right back to Optimus Prime's second wife Thunder Muffler), these blogs, New York traffic and bad television (i.e. Sister,Sister).I saw all the cool sights, met some of the locals (who I tried bring into Christendom), and ate some of the traditional meals (New Yorkers apparently will eat pizza that is thick and ill-managed, unlike St. Louisians who prefer the "waste not, want not" thin pizza). I spit on Yankee stadium and flipped off Shea just before going to the UN where I delivered a speech on the importance of hygeine in international relations (I don't wanna mention any names but some of those countries are rank...Belarus). I really truly did enjoy the Big Apple (or as we call it in St. Louis the "Pretentious Peach") and will return sooner than later. Some options for emmigration have risen and I may just jump on them. One being a baseball missionary, to teach the woeful fans what the game is really about. (You may not have noticed, but during my trip the CARDINALS performed a feat in baseball so marvelous, so spectacular that they will forever be known as the best team in baseball: They made the Royals look good. That's what being from the same state earns you KC!) So, that's that, and now it's back to the humdrum BS of my normal life. Although I should point out spun2sugar is back in the Lou and I'll have to give her a call. Let's see...Gabby, Jay, and then Sugar. I will have met three of you people. See! I told you this is a Z.Hume world tour, next....Paul (believe it or no, it could happen later this summer). As always, I care for you, my little lumps, cause I still don't know if you're beniegn or malignant. Deuce...holla. I'll blead tomorrow. |
| BOGUS! Okay, I can't comment on anyone's blog! No, I lied, Ashley's, I can comment on hers, but then the fragging "Leave A Comment" hokey-pokey bull-shite won't load after that. Sheesh! What's it take for a fella to leave a comment! Do I have to dome the Story Master? (What about his Mistress, I'm feeling like that's do-able). Anyhoo, your comments: TIN I think flickr is a good thing, and you are a little shutter bug so right on! ~J Old men? Really? Trent Reznor is old? Cause I'm not far behind him. Deb Hard to believe anyone could love you? What about us? Are we imaginary? Besides Gabby, cause, I mean, foreigners are imaginary right? Drago Nice specs, and clean your kids face. I'm judging you right now. Maveric Don't delete your blog. Do what I do, take a month off, work up some new material and then come back. And the rest of you I actually got through to. Now, the real news. I'm going to New York for a few days next week and am seriously visiting Harlem. Seems like a no-brainer to me, but everyone else is confused. The Lenox Lounge! The Cotton Club! Hello my fellow honkies (and Tin), the times is a changin', Bill Clinton has an office in Harlem. The only thing I fear in New York are those ill-bred, ill-tempered, glutonous, fart-odored Mets/Yankee fans. Oh do I hate me some pin-stripes (where you at Alyssa, back me up). I thought Nell (played marvelously by Jodie Foster) was the last child left behind under G.W.Bush, but obviously not. Most of NYC seems to have been raised in a cave. A cave so deep underground that these lost souls of baseball fandom, inbreed with their sisters and brothers, so that every generation of Mets/Yankee fans that follow are worse than the first (with three butt-cheeks, that's a side effect of inbreeding). So, were you to be in or around NYC the 17th through the 20th, and wanted to chill with the Z-Child, let me know. ~J's a Mets fan... but I already got her digets! (Begins high fiving imaginary, foreign friends in the room). We'll make this a world tour, with a Mountain Dew tie in; Zack Could Come to Your Town and Remix Your Manifesto! Check under the cap, 1 in 4,000 is a winner! Not for residents of Portugal, Canada, the state of Texas, Rhode Island or Kentucky. We doubt the statehood of Utah, but residents of said state may win if they'll meet us halfway. All winners must be female, aged 18 or older and not male. Males can only enter with a purchase, female. entries are considered a forgone conclusion even if they did not wish to enter, and all ladies should be prepared for a Zack visit. Any child born of this contest from Zack will not be the responsibility of Zack. Do the Dew. Yeah, that sounds shpadoinkle. |
| ...I go away for a month and all of a sudden I get GPs from Paul. His WdC will says to divvy them up between Drago and me, but that seems selfish of the two of us. So..... what's a brotha to do with 71,000 GPs? Send suggestions. (I could just put them towards re-uping my membership, but honestly, what a waste.) Where have I been? Did you notice I was gone? Cause I think you didn't. After being shot square in the face by two young Republican hoodlums robbing me of my wallet and woman, I spent a year and a half in the hospital at death's door. Everyday, the thought that one of my WdC pals would send flowers or visit, kept me alive. But flowers nor visit ever came.... So now, the thought of revenge against you selfish bastards and bastardettes keeps me going! OH! Just you wait until I regain full use of my nostrils and my molars! Then we'll see who eats the last taco! Or maybe not. The point of the story though is that munchkins don't exist in real life, but in Oz, which is a prison show on HBO. Munchkins get shived all the time. Why, I shived one yesterday, some sort of lollipop union rabble-rouser, hollaring about me hiring scab munchkins, and illegal immigrant munchkins. You know who else gets crap from the unions; Build-a-Bear Workshop. Yeah, those guys use non-union bear building labor (If you don't know what Build-a-Bear is that just sounds real weird). So, that's what I've been up to. Let me know what to do with 71,000 GPs. Drago, you're free to suggest that I give them to you as Paul had wished it, no one will judge you...much. |
| ...lines in a movie has to be "We're all gonna die!!!! It's such a downer, and usually delivered with such conviction that even you, in the audience, can't help but be buzz killed. "Well, when you say it like that, I guess we all will die, and here I was trying to figure out a way to save us from eminent doom, but nope, you just clarified that we will all, indeed, die, and everything I was working on is pointless. Thank you, now I can spend my last moments trying to reconcile myself with the creator instead of saving us." I've never heard the line "We're all gonna live!!! ever yelled in a movie. Where's the cup half full sororrity girls running from the monsters? Where are the optimistic flight attendants on the hijaked plane? I would have to assume that they're a modest bunch, a group of people, so secure in their knowledge that survial is eminent that they're waiting for their "I told you so" moment. There are a lot of other buzz kill lines out there: "I'm pregnant" being the first I could pull off the top of my head. I just noticed that the narration in my head sounds like Andy Rooney. You know, that Wallace Shaw sort of whine with a little more gravel in the old food-chute. Odd, I always thought my internal monologue would sound like Scarface. That's sort of a buzzkill in itself. Fast approaching the one year anniversary of this old thingy-ma-blog. Let's all go out for a drink! (Um, Ashley's treat) |
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