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 |   New and Improved... but only slightly. |
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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| ...for a real "Zack" blog, but what the hell do you care? Real, knock-off: All as close as you'll ever get to the real deal and let me tell you...the real deal, two words: "Bloner". Drago tried teaching me a lesson yesterday in word inventification. Well, this morning, several pints deep, I think I'm in prime condition to inventify some wordimication. Only problem is, I tried these words on some orphans and their heads blew off, so I swore that I would never utter them again, until man got smart enough to hear them....without their heads blowing off. This morning I'm gonna talk WdC schnit: 1)Tin's friend thinks I'm cute  2)Paul is still gone and that's not cool. 3)Yesterday was the Video Vandalist deadline...anybody still listening to that? WdC schnit complete. Anyhoo, trivia night at the bar tonight right? We're blowing balls until the final round. The topic:"Mel Brook's Movies" and the "Funny, she doesn't look Druish" team (us) took it easily. Score one for a puberty spent in front of the TV. What make out party? So, myspace. I've only told you guys thus far. The people I know outside of WdC, the hundreds, if not both, I plan to tell later. Get in there while you can, cause as soon as I join that "Magic: The Gathering" group...you're gonna find it tough to get my myspace attention! So Paul left, and now it's just us. The In Crowd seems to grow more important. I think, the idea that anyone of us are a day away from leaving here suddenly makes that group that much more important. And for this reason I suggest these changes: 1) The group changes its name to Drago's first name (Maximus-Prime) 2) The group spends its GPs on that WdC hooker from the tricks campfire, you know who...yeah that one with the tat on her lower back. 3) Deb isn't invited to the singles nights of the group anymore after she totally dissed me in front of my mom. Not my fault she has to drive me around and shit man! We take on these changes and we're completely kosher. Hey, The Zack loves ya', and wants you to drink the kool-aid with him. |
| ....you and that booty. That song stuck in your head now? Do you even know what song I refer to? So today is rainy and nasty. Bleh. Wanted to go out and practice for my beer league polo team, no chance of that today. Gotta leave Gilgamesh in the stable. I have the coffee shakes anyway (too much coffee, too little food), probably hinder my mallet skills. So I was investigating some movies today and came across this thing where in 2008 they are going to release a sequel to the Hulk movie loathed by the populus. Why!?!?! The first one sucked bad! I don't get Hollywood, just let me make the movies and we're all kosher I say. Tonight I think I'm gonna have to go participate in bar trivia, win me some beer. That's all I really want, beer. You got to be quick though, nimble mentally and tough enough to outlast the other drunks. Part of the game is correctly answering questions when you're wasted. The final level is driving home! (Z.Hume and the Manifesto Remix does not condone drunken driving, but does condone drunken one night stands with that girl who looks Korean but is actually fat...what?) Okay, anyhoo, I have been real bored lately.My new job doesn't start until Monday and i got nothing else to do. Video games and TV only goes so far. Eating to kill time has added an extra layer to my E.W.O.M (excessive wad of man or tummy, I jiggle now). A guy can only take so much of the boredom before he goes crazy. Or in my case sane, I started crazy, going full circle now ya dig? Friday is my cousin Jake's B-Day. He'll be my age, but is balder than me. That's what I've been looking forward to all week...that and the new Bond movie. Either or, I have to wait till Friday for entertainment! Son of a biaaaatch! Any suggestions on time killers out there? Self mutilation? Learn a new language? Shave the dog bald and paint racing stripes down his side, then enter him in a demolition derby and just hope he out runs the rest of the field? |
...invented a word and now she thinks she's the shit. dragonfly~guess who's back?   once wrote me an e-mail, back in the day and it said (and I quote): "Dear Zack, your blog rocks! How do I become more like you!" I took her under my wing, fed her knowledge and changed her diaper when it was full of useless information. Okay it didn't happen exactly like that, but that's what i told my mom. BLEADING hu! Everyone uses that word now. Drago (her real name is Richard), has done something I haven't yet and it chides me to no end: she's established her WdC legacy. Long after she's gone, some pimply faced kid in Idaho, while writing his fantasy tales, will blog and use the word BLEADING. So....today I've decided to invent a blog term that will out live me! First, what's bleading? It's "blog reading". Okay, we've established the rules of the game. Second, what's the lexicon missing... blogging adjectives! I've got it! This is the newest word, the term of the century, the blog-icon of the....term. Ladies and gentleman, my lagacy-word for WdC: BLONER Bloner: A super sweet blog that gives you a boner. It's perfect!!!! You have no idea how many times I've been commenting and had to write out: "Wow, awesome blog In Your Dirtiest Pants ! I'm pitching a tent over your bloggerization!!" Or "Great, pants raising work Tin!" Now we have the one word to handle it: "Bloner".Use it freely, it's my legacy to you all. Also, sad bit of news. LilPaul  has left us and that makes me sad. He was a great comic read on almost anyday and those other days were thoughtful and real. I hope he comes back, his blog was, well....bloner. |
| ....you would not believe the day I had. First I woke up and was feeling kind of sick. Sort of stuffy head cold stuff, and that blew, if that wasn't enough, I look outside a small battalion of Sandinistas are gathered in my diveway. Totally Red Dawn and lame, but I did what I had to do. First off, I grabbed my friends and we formed motley platoon. There was Brock the explosives guy, Johnny the knife expert, Rodriguez teh sniper/token ethnic, and I let Jim tag along cause he wanted to. Oh, and me, I'm the brains of course. Our first mission: naming our team. Jim just wanted to use Wolverines cause that's from the movie and there wasn't much thought involved. All the way on the other end of the spectrum though, I wanted to name us Cienfuegos' Fury, a sort of homage to the Cuban liberators. We ended up drawing straws and Johnny's name one, hence we were the St. Louis Cardinals (football, not baseball). I and the other Cardinals drew the battle lines and stuff. We broke up their supply line using our bombs, then we drew the centuries away from an ammo dump, using the seductive call of Carla, a hooker Jim knows from his high school. They captured me and forced me into a labor camp where I fashioned shoes for my captors out of Quaker Oats tubs and Fun-Dip packaging. There I befriended Waldo, a man who has spent many years lost and awaits someone to find him. He too knew Carla and told me she's not as great as advertised. Waldo and I escaped then seperated. Where's Waldo...I don't know. Soon enough though I met back up with the Cardinals. Our final mission was to liberate the Catholic school girls from a make shift POW camp. We broke in and Rodriguez took a slug to the arm, Johnny...poor Johnny...Semper Fi man. Anyhoo, the Catholic girl's skirts provided a great form of cover so we had them remove those to sneak out of the camp only to come to a river where we fashioned a raft out of the school girls shirts. Jim drowned when I asked him to look under the craft and he didn't close his mouth. Once on the other side we were attacked and Rodriguez met his end covering us. I, Brock, and the school girls made it to this cliff where we climbed down using a bra and panty rope. Brock though landed on one of his own grenades, poor guy. Now I'm home again with a gaggle of nude Catholic school girls, but we rid the area of Sandinistas. But what should I do with all the school girls? Send your suggestions to: What to do with School Girls? 10409 Blunderbust Pass St. Louis, MO 63131313131 The winning suggestion will earn you a spot at the Cardinal's reunion luncheon and symposium on reenacting movie-plot wars. Three runners up will win an evening with Zack watching the History Channel and polishing his sabre* Good luck everyone! *Sabre might not actually be a sabre. |
| ...of the emergency Zack quits Blogging system......... I quit! Screw you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you....hey! you too back there! I am so done with this place and you can all go to - That concludes todays test of the emergency Zack quits Blogging system, we will return you to your regularly scheduled blog already in progress ....because I was already outdoors, and it was freaking freezing! I could not believe that, in fact, I didn't want to believe it! I refused for so long. Nobody wanted to help me with my problem either, they all figured I'd find my own damn way out jail. Well, I didn't! Who knew in the state of Missouri that the crime of - Winter storm advisory It's supposed to snow really early in the morning here. We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog already in progress. ...which brings up a funny Jim story. Last night he bursts into the house at like 3am cussing and cursing and throwing stuff around. I get him calm enough to tell me what's wrong and this is what he says: "I kicked a White Castle bag trying to help some chick get the keypad to her cellphone back and when I did, my shoe flew off over a fence and into a tree." So I wanted to know, in what logical sense does kicking a White Castle bag with enough force to launch your shoe into a tree, help a girl get her cell phone keypad back? And what kind of girl just goes around dropping - This is a test of the "This is a test" system IT WORKS We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog which is already in progree ....so that's it, that's the great secret I have been keeping from all of you. I realize that you're all judging me now and I guess I deserve it, but I had to get it off my chest. It's true, so true and horrible and what not, but I wanted you to know. Who would believe that I, Z-tron 4K, am a - This is an emergency end to the blog |
| ...on the St. Louis {/b}BLUES{/b} Went to the Blues game last night. They played the Colulmbus Blue-Jackets and let me tell you... I used to go to Blues games fairly regularly, they were a post-season lock (well, ok, in hockey every team but like four goes to the post season), and had a great rivalry with the Detroit Crap-Wings (And Federov who incidentally plays for the Blue-Jackets now). Brett Hull, Al McInnis, Gretzky for a season...we were awesome. The strike of two years ago happens and we trade Chris Pronger, lose Doug Weight and Joel Q, and yaddi, yaddi, yaddi....we blow balls now. The only redeeming part about last nights game was the fact that there were two fights and both of the Blue-Jackets players got their faces opened up. Blood on the Ice, like Seager's tracks only colder. We lost 4-2. Whatever, hockey doesn't deserve my attention anymore. They expanded too fast, had little checks-n-balances as far as revenue sharing. There are so many teams bankrupt or facing bankruptcy and the league is headed down the same path. The Blues were pretty bad. Their 2-2 box zone on the penalty kill collapsed into a huge Canadian Orgy. I was going to talk about Borat and how I saw that movie and thought it was hilarious, but think that Bruno (S.B. Cohen's other other character from the Ali G show) won't be as good, but I couldn't remember my talking points...still reeling from bad hockey. |
| ...about a man named Jim. My roommate Jim that is. Sometimes I feel like the Frylock to his Master Shake (did you know there have been new Aqua Teens on? Where the hell is the movie they promised?). This dude has a cell phone, not uncommon and in fact, expected of a man of his upbringing and education. LIke the nosegay of our generation they is. Anyhoo, he doesn't have a charger for it. So how does he charge his phone? In his car, but the car has to be running to charge the thing, so his car sits in our driveway running for like an hour at a time....I think I'm gonna steal it! Did you catch the election results? Missouri is Talent-less, thank God, and Embryonic Stem Cell Research may continue. The topic of abortion came up here in comments the other day, and I ain't gonna touch it. Firstly, someone will repeat that crappy bumpersticker that every hatchback carries reading "It's a Child not a Choice", then someone else will call "Pro-Life" "Anti-Choice" (who are we kidding, that would have been me), then someone will ask "Do like infanticide?" and that's when the truth comes out...."Yes," I'll be forced to say. "And I like tossing orphans into open flames as well." From there all hell breaks loose. So best to leave that topic for another day...perhaps tomorrow. I saw where Tom DeLay said (Colbert said this as well, but jokingly) that the Democrats didn't win, the Republicans lost. Who the hell is he to have any say? The guy is a disgraced politician indicted in the state of Texas (where they execute people for less). I wonder what Fox news said? They probably made up some excuse for the Fascists, er, GOP. Anyhoo enough about politics. THE RAMS blew turkey balls against the THE CHIEFS[/b} Sunday in the Governor's Cup. Eh, I can't be bothered by the slap-happy-crappiness of the RAMS at present. THE BLUES have been sucking it up too, but then again, did we really expect much? Oh, I know what I wanted to ask you all: Is "leaved" a word? As in: "I thought when you leaved here I would..." Think about it, you've probably used it in the vernacular. |
| Here's the scoop: I wrote that entry, down there, then the day after was manic again, but my internet had been working like shite. So, to those of you who e-mailed me worried about my mental health, I'm still just as F-ed up as ever, but in that fun John Hinkley way. What's happening? Midterm elections folks, that's right. Did you vote today? You should have (even though I didn't, the point being, do what I say not what I do. If you do do what I do than the doo-doo I do wouldn't be original....or something). Missouri is deciding right now if Stem Cell research is kosher or not. I say yea. Research the hell out of Stem Cells and cure a whole bunch of shit. Of course the opposition is based on religious fallacy and bogus facts, but I want to hear your opinion (educated that is, okay, even if you don't know the issue let me know what you think). Missouri is also trying to oust a moron of a senator named Jim Talent. He looks like Jared from the subway ads. Give'em the boot I say! America seems to be voting based on two factors: Iraq and Corruption...okay, who are we kidding Iraq is corrupt as hell, so one issue: Corruption. The neo-cons have to be the most idiotic breed of human. They're ready to protect the republican party for fear that...OH MY GOD...gays may be able to marry. Jesus, Mary, Joseph and Beowulf save us! I hate how American politics have turned so religious. Just the other day when that Haggard guy, the evangelical preacher who was totally banging a gay prostitute while smoking meth, got canned, the big story was about how that would affect the midterm elections. Shouldn't. Religion and DC are divided remember? Scarily enough there are some backwater tards out there who believe that W is the second coming....there's no doubt in my mind, that given the chance, that monkey in a suit would certainly (and almost positively accidentally during a fit of ignorance) start the apocalypse. Here's my deal with American presidents too: Blair suffered some losses in the popularity column over the war (in England you vote party not man so it didn't affect his PMship), Putin, in Russia, is an ex-KGB thug connected to big business (flauntingly so sometimes), and in France, Chirac has done everything but burn the Eiffel Tower down with his domestic policy, but I would still rather have either of these guys (especially Blair) as my commander in chief. Why? Have you ever notice how they dress? Like adults, GQ, to the hilt. Bush appears to have been scouring JC Penny for suit, like some guy the day before wedding. These foreign (to me, Blair is domestic to Paul and Chirac to Alfred) leaders all speak in complete sentences too, and rarely ever pull a confused gaff. Bush on the other hand, speaks in choppy rhetoric and looks lost without Cheney keeping him on his lead. Now, here's the kicker: 10-1, tomorrow the house and senate will still be in Repub power because...OH MY GOD...the gays want to be treated like equals! Holy Charlton Heston load the rifle, Dorris! Jesus I love you (in that platonic, deity to man sort of way) save me now! ...and on a white steed with Haggard at his side, and Rumsfeld loading the carbine.... |
| ....before I have to leave. This world sucks. It seems like everything is being crapped on, and everyone is struggling right now. I've been really pissed off lately. It's frustrating, survival that is, and it's beginning to appear selfish for want of it. Kåre Enga in Montana  needs you guys too. So if you haven't been, get over to "L'aura del Campo"  , kare is good peoples and we owe him our help.I hate the fact that everything comes down to money and vain wants and what nots. "If you had to choose between a Doctor and Lawyer....", who cares. We all die the same. Here are the life lessons I know, and you know, to be true that we don't aknowledge because the Gap ads don't reflect this: 1) You will never have control of your life 2) You're going to die alone and cold 3) Love is a figment of your imagination, people are all cheaters and liars and you best do the same lest you end up the punch line 4) It's not about what you know, but who you know 5) You probably do have HPV...and now he/she does too. Okay that last one was a joke... point being, everything is whatever right now and I could care less if a meteor came and erased it all. Would you really care? I mean honestly, what would you miss out on? The season finale to American Idol? A sale at Abercrombie? Would you really miss 40 hours a week of drudgery? Paying bills? The mounting credit debt? .....hummm, |
| spun2sugar, a friend and fellow St. Louisan, had come back for the World Series this past weekend. Beyond that I can only direct you to here "Invalid Entry" She sent me an e-mail before she arrived in St. Louis saying: " I gotta stay away from the folks I hung with before, and even though you're a smartass, I thought you might be good company" in reference to the game Friday night. Unfortunately I never heard from her after my reply. I urge you to vist her blog, read her husbands entry, and send a good thought her way. If you've never visited her blog "Invalid Item" , the first thing you would notice is that under her links, we are all there. Some of you may have never heard from her in the comment space, but she was always reading and rooting for us. |
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