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THE MANIFESTO REMIX You've been pwn'd by ☡.☠ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Oh man, what a day. Shot a guy, punched a chick, stabbed an orphan...done and done. I wanna bring cool back. I'm watching Pulp Fiction, the movie of movies that defines cool. Vega man, Vega. Bolo ties are still "in"right? I mean, I wouldn't be totally douche-ified for wearing a bolo tie, right? Let me know what you think, bolo or nolo. I wanna go to Japan and China. I have a hankering to travel and those are the countries of my choosing. I wanna see Mao. I wanna see that dude! He was sorta tight, right? Revolutionists are tight as hell! They stand up, whoop some asses and get things done. Like me, a Dollar Democracy Revolutionist, fighting for what's tight...like bolo ties, Vega bolo ties. And Japan, hell, that's just cool. Tokyo, son, Tokyo. I'd be a giant over there, I'm 6'4" so, you know, jolly mean and green. So what's new with you? How have you been? You seem quiet tonight? Is it the wine? The music? The amazing visage I present? Tell me something fun! Let me know what you're up to! I'm bored as hell! Let me live through you people! I'm tired. Need sleepy-sleepy time. The only writing I do is here, when I do write here. I think that's sad, I should try and focus more on the other writing stuff, like limericks and soft-core romance humpty-humps I do so well with. Let me toss a passage from my last joint at your face: Joey dropped trow and revealed his loved stained tighty whiteys to Doris. "Joey, my love, your so girth-tastic!" she exclaimed. "You know what they say," Joey said slyly. "The girth is worth...it." Well, I'm still working on that, but it gets hotter later. Peace in the Middle East and your pants, I'm out. |
| Peeps, Deb-O just hit me up asking me where Ean was. I dunno. When I saw his handle get little I thought "Eh, give him a few to pay up his dues", but it's been a few more than a few. Where the hell is that quirky Canuck? Ashley, go to his house and see what's up. And while you're there, rifle through his medicine cabinet. (You may find something that will help your knee too!) Anyhooooooooo! I know I have been delinquent with e-mail and what not here. Even more so though, I have been way late on getting to you what you need most right now: MY X-MAS LIST. Sooooooooo: 1 A toy fire truck 2 A trip to Space Mountain 3 A bo staff (with name etched in it) 4 The Greg Bernhardt Show, Vol 1 DVD 5 Yanni Sings the Blues CD 6 Brass knuckles (with name engraved in it) 7 Luke Skywalker underbreeches (with name sewn in them) 8 Britney Spears (with name tatted on her) 9 A Harvard Degree in Quantum Mechanics 10 Respect If you guys could talk amongst yourselves and figure out who's getting me what that would be great cause I don't want two of the same thing. I hate having to return gifts! Speaking of gifts, word on the street is that it's Maricor's B-Day. Happy B-Day you sly fox you! Getting older on us behind our backs, eh! HA! I'm still older than you, and will beat you to the grave easily! Take that! So yeah, Jim's moved out, took his dog with him. Quiet here on El Rancho de Stud-o (that's right ladies, all the residents here are out to stud  ). Got some PS2 time, some TV time, and some IM time logged. Now I gotta go though cause it's PP time.Have your pets spade or neutered...do that to ignorant people too! |
| The previous entry, the one this entry is sitting on the face of, was a dupe! That was written by my secretary Jennifer who has this password. She saw that I had been out of the office for sometime and saved my job here at WdC (in the janitorial department) by making an entry. There are several ways to tell that the previous entry was a counterfiet, let me list them for you. 1) All the words arre spelt good. Me, I's a poor and sloppy spelter. 2) There's no capitalization. Jenn is half Christian, half Apache indian, those two cultures mixed makes it against her religion to captialize letters. I being 100% Sufist, it is required that I capitalize letters. 3) The sign off lacked a certain machismo. The wink was there, and I certainly believe you ladies should visit me (wink!), but there was nothing there that would make you ladies say "What a pig! I should visit him." 4) Master of the universe? Perhaps. Master of disaster? Doubtful. Master of your mom? Goes without saying, and that's why I wouldn't say it, Jenn though wanted to remind you...and your moms. I'm not in Japan, although that would be hella tight, and have not been here because I, in fact, don't like some of you and wish that I had never e-met you. That and work which is an unending cycle of pain and misery. I plan on bleading soon, and then blocking you in your comments (blog-mocking! Is it too late to show off in front of Drago?) I hope all of you are well...except for those of you I don't like. Oh yeah, did anyone else get a WdC pin in the mail? I did, and I put it right on my merit badge sash (lord knows it ain't gotten any badges in a while!) Word! I'm out! |
| the master of disaster...master of the universe...and master of your mom! oh snap! no, seriously guys, i know i haven't been writing a lot on this lately and i've been telling you all its because of my job. well, the truth is, i up and moved to japan. that's right kids. japan. i have been going karaoke crazy, drinking sake every chance i get, and partying with some lovely hoes..er, i mean geishas. so, i just haven't had time to sit down and write. plus the time difference is a bitch, so that's what ya get. who wants to come visit me? ladies...i'll make the trip worth your while for sure. <wink!> peace out my little blogtomatons, catch ya on the flip side. |
| What's your sign? Zacky love you long time. Enough of that! Let's get serious people! Serious things are afoot (and mouth disease)! Jim is moving to Colorado. He scored a job with ski-bunnies and ski-buffalos. That means that our frat house is crumbling (Sigma Upsilon Kappa)! Fine with me. Do you know what this means? I'll be able to move back to the city with no lose ends in Frontenac! No questions like, "So, um, you wanna extend the lease or no?" I miss the city, man. That's where everything is happening! Bars are close, twenty four hour fast food, and hookers (but they only work bank hours). I wanna get back in the South Side. I was inspired there, I was happy and where some people felt the "crush" of the city, I found it to be a nice warm hug (albeit from a sweaty and hairy dude who smells of city waste). There's a certain bit of machismo pride I used to get when people would ask "So, where do you stay?" and you answer "St. Louis City". Crime Capital USA, punks! That makes you a hard geezer, dude. Especially if you can play up the fact that you've never been shot, stabbed, glassed, mugged or recieved the bad touch, people will think you're hard as nails and made of teflon. Oh snap! I'm impressing myself just sitting here! That's kosher with me, I wanna live in the city. I love the city, I was made for an urban existence. Chicks in the city might not be hotter all the time...but they are more easily persuaded to...you know...listen to Vanilla Ice with me. Today is the Day of the Ninja! I have a feeling Problematic Content   will be doing something special. So go check that out, and for the rest of the day pretend you're a ninja! I already fashioned me self some throwing stars out of some scrap wood. I'm using them at work today! |
| Oh man! I haven't been here in ages. Let me tell you what happened...well, you can probably already guess: I met a girl, and we had a whirl-wind adventure of love and domestic tranquility. Her name was Lindsey...Lindsey Lohan. I met her out one night, she gave me the eye, I gave her the eye. I bought her a drink, she bought me a hamster I named Jinx, it was great. We moved in together and had nothing but our future together ahead of us...or so it seemed. She was great, don't get me wrong, but after a while I was just like whatever. She kept showing me her boobs and wanting to hop in the sack and all that jazz, but I was like, "Lindsey! Theez nutz, back up off 'em!". I think she was hurt by my sudden departure, but it was for the best. So what's been up with you punks? Anybody married? Anybody making babies? I'm not (obviously, I just broke it off with Lindsey Lohan, that'll teach her for 'Herbie: Re-Loaded'), in fact I've just been working, and nothing interesting has spwaned from that. It snowed, or should I say iced here Thursday. We lost our cable and internet, just got it back today. Could have been worse, there are 300,000 homes without power still. Wow, that sounds oddly familiar, like when that storm hit in the summer. I went to an Alanon (alcoholics anon) meeting this past week. Not cause I needed to, but because Jenn had to do it for a class and didn't want to go alone. Two things I want to tell you, and the second will be offensive. First: A guy could probably get pretty lucky around all those needy chicks and stuff...not that I would, just saying. The Z-Child is always a gentleman NOW STAND AND DELIVER GIRLY. Second: PREPARE TO BE OFFENDED I think 12 steps are a load of crap. What the hell! I could have just gone to a theatre group's coffee break and seen the same dramatics performed at that meeting. Everyone has a "higher power" they turn to for a "cure". YOUR HIGHER POWER MAY AS WELL BE MICKEY MOUSE you don't wanna drink, don't do it! I used to believe that addiction was a disease, and still think that certain genetics make it easier for some to slip into addictive personalities (I for instance show great signs of having an addictive personality, but that also means I'm consistent!) But now, after seeing that meeting, I feel that labelling addiction a flat out disease is just horse droppings of the largest and smelliest nature. Let's face it, a 12 step works like a crutch. It gives an ear hole and supportive voice. That's great, use it for that, but don't think it's the cure. Cure your freaking self with some will-power. I drink, love the stuff, in fact, that's what brought me and Lindsey together (I was drunk, she looked great! Then I sobbered up...) according to the 12 step test I qualify as an alcoholic. But I ain't. "Zack, bubby, Denile ain't just a river in Egypt" But it is just a prefixed word (proniled anyone?). Anyhoo, Suga asked about Reservoir Blogs...here's my pitch and tell me where I win you over: What if we made it group editable, and attached it to "The In-Crowd". It would make for a ready pool of writers and perhaps someone else could try and organize where I have failed. Just thinking out loud people, let me know what you think. Well have a great...damn it! Lindsey is calling again...probably wants her Dungeons and Dragons game back! Later! |
| ...about my new job. It sucks. It's mall retail (go figure) and it's the jankiest janky-jank ever. Especially now that it's the holidays. You might have noticed that I haven't been around so much. Yup, that's because of the job. The Galleria, this trendy little hub for Ladue kids and J.A.P.S (that's Jewish American Princesses to the goys, I'm an honorary heeb) has to be the most pretentious plot of real estate I know. (Note: Plaza Frontenac I DO NOT visit cause it's more pretentious, like the Mordor to my Hobbit hole). Retail, I believe, is exactly what Marx hated. Although he never really lived long enough (except in our hearts and minds) to see internet shopping, where you never come face to face with the schlub your tooling, I think he would condone the whole practice. Retail is a system devised by rich dudes way back in the day to make them richer. Before you say it, I realize that one could say that retail has been around forever. "Uhg buy rock, toss at woman Uhg, get Ugh chick on wheel, show her fire, say,'Uhg chick put out, or get out'." But Contemporary American retail has nothing to do with survival it's all about being popular. I sell $300.00 sweaters, designed by some guy named Daniel Cremieux or something! A $300.00 sweater!?!? .....and I want one. I could pimp the hell out of one of those! I would be sooooo hot and the Japs would love me (Japanese girls, they are FREAKING hot)! There's this patchwork blazer ($195.00) I would kill an orphan for, and this hound's tooth hunting coat ($450.00) that I would let an orphan kill me to have. I'm at a cross-roads people, my Communist tendencies and desire for couture are clashing. The two forces are fighting over the Bastogne that is my brain, and I realize that there is only one solution to this problem: Which side will get me birds quicker? You'd think couture, but some chicks really dig a guy with convictions. Being shallow, either in that vain "look at my clothes way" or in that determined "watch me get martyred", way doesn't matter anymore. Both sexes have lowered their standards since the Bush administration took over to get as much as they could get before the Horsemen ride into town. Well, whatever the solution, which ever side up yonder is a gonna win, I'm tired as hell and need a repose. I'm outie like a foreign car. |
| Momma E.I., E.I., uh-ohhhhhh! So, I'm going to read all of your entries, and I am making a prediction: There will be one entry about the Macy's Parade and how great it is and how it reminds someone of their youth and etc. etc. etc. Well, I hope this abstraction of advertising and marching bands that's on TV right now ain't what'cha mean, cause this is just crap. That dude from the today show is about to hang himself, I can hear it in his voice. Maybe I'm just too old for this stuff. Holidays have lost all their original meaning and are all tied into to some department store or series of cards or soda cans or whatever. But anyhoo, Happy Turkey-Day fools! I hope everyone's getting good and plump, lord knows I'm getting FAT! I'm gonna eat the f*** out some turkey! Then I'm gonna wake up at 5am to go to work Friday! Life sucks! I've decided I need to stick to the example set forth by that great Italian literatti, Mario, the plumber and shroom crusher. Remember how after he saved the princess he went back to OBGYN school and then was known as Dr. Mario? I've decided that I should go back to school too. Mario's short, like a midget (or humanity's fumbles as some refer to them), and I'm fairly tall but I think school will work for me too! Okay guys, have a great Turkey-Turk and don't hurt ya'self doin' the jerky-jerk. Word, I'm out. |
| ...in space aliens. Why I believe in space aliens is simple: We haven't been launching our trash into space. Think about it, there must be some super race of aliens out there that the governments of the world know about but won't let us in on. This super race, our leaders know would get real pissed if they ran into our garbage and then come and wipe us out. "Yo, Gleepglop, the other day I was on Praxair 9 and I saw your sister." "Jar-Jar you jack -" SPLAT "What's that all over or space-windshield?" "Ewwww! Human waste!" "How do you know it's human?" "There's an old copy of the Weekly World News...Hey! You made the cover Gleep!" Then the intergalctic wars start and I get drafted as a aide-de-camp to some Kurtz like colonel. Polish your own boots, buster! (Although I hear the USO shows are to die for! Literally) So that's why I believe in space aliens, and now for something completely different: Myspace is jank. People really do care where you put them in that friend box...and especially me! "What, your husbands number one? Not anymore! I better be uno!" I've made some alterations on mine, but only slightly. I've got a plan: What I'm going to do is use the blog-a-matronic unit at Myspace to blog brief biographies for all my family and friends and what not. This way, my WdC people can learn about the non-WdC people, and vice versa. Only problem is, I don't know anyone's biography comprehensivly, or the subject just leads an extremely boring life, hence! I will be fabricating biographies that I think suit that person better than the truth. So, I'm going to try and mix my friend-thingy up so that it's not all WdC people and then all friends. We'll mingle it up! Okay, gotta go polish my space rifle. |
| ...I love you!" - SeaLab 2021 Gotta get going. Woke up late today thanks to some dramatics last night provided by the one, the only, the fattest of the fat, Jim. I would tell you about it, but you'd just be flabbergasted, so consider this flabbergastric by-pass surgery. So it's my cousin Jake's "Surprise" b-day party tonight. Jake writes too, but he writes action/espionage/...erotica maybe. I've thought about inviting him here, but seeing how he's balder than me, more talented than me, and goofy like me...you'd probably like him better. I used to consider Jake "Bizzaro Zack" for these wholly ridiculous reasons: 1) He and I both had short friends that wore glasses. I had one named Tony and he had one named Seth, they were little guys, seemed fairly similar in many regards. I used to joke that if they ever met, they'd have a short guy stare down, waiting to see who gave first. 2) We both played the same position in basketball. Only once though did we meet on the court and I think it ended in a 4 man stalemate. 3) Our birthmarks are the same only reversed! We each have a birthmark on our bums. I have one that looks like the symbol "Alpha" on me right cheek and one that looks like the "Omega" on me left, where as Jake has the same ones only their cheekage is switched. Crazy hu! Jake and I never dated the same chicks although through some weird circumstance I can't recall, Jake did end up dating a friend of mine...come to think of it, in high school he dated a friend of Josh's too. HEY! All my brother and I have ever done for him is hook him up with chicks! What do we get in return, nada! Jake's engaged to marry this chick from his high school days...and that's it, i ran out of punchlines a while ago. He had been wanting to get an X-Box 360 for a while, but his lovely finace said: "Not until I see a ring mugga-bubba!" So he ponied up for a ring and asked her at the next to last, or third from last, CARDINALS regular season game. Then this month dropped 0.5K dollars on it while assuring her it cost no more than like 3 hundo. To close tonight, I leave you with a quote that Jake's fiance kept repeating over and over while we were at Busch Stadium after the series: "Oh my god! They won in the stadium I was proposed to in! It was meant to be!" She obviously never thought about off season acquisitions, free agency and revenue sharing in the league. |
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