This is a great poem. It has a very good rhyming patteren. It had a wonderful flow that kept my attention. The message was something I could relate to.
This poem allows us to know that we are not alone when it comes to pain. We all hurt, and so do others.
There was one mistake that I may have found:
Akin
Should this be A kin.
These are beautiful girls, and I think that I need to comment on their eyes and smiles. Their faces show that they have been raised without any harmful experiences. They really look well rounded and so full of love. It is so encuraging to see them likethis because of worring about my little ones.
This is a great poem. I found one typeo in the early part of the poem. However, as I read on the poem was so good that I forgot the typo. I loved the thought that there is someone out there for us all. I had one hidden in my basement. I love that you covered what love is. Being there for the one you love.
This poem is great. At first I was a little thrown into my own life as the opsite person. I was reading it as the other woman in a married relationship. Then as the end came up. I had to smile. It reminded me of my youth. Maybe what she was actually thinking, but she was only four years older than our marriage was.
I can relate to this poem. Matter-of -fact, I wrote a poem that started with the exact same first lines. I was surprised to see them ther. Of course the rest of my poems was different. This goes to show that we are never alone in our worst loneliness.
I enjoyed the read, and am so glad that you chose to share it with us.
Ida
This was a great poem, and I though that it was a great tribute to a loyal friend. You painted a picture of pain and hope in very few words.
Your description caught my eye, and since I have three children that force me to be a grandmother to two dogs and one cat. (My 10 year old is going to be grand father to his "son's" puppies" If they were to read this they would cry.
Only thing that I noticed that may need attention is although instead of altho
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida
PS if you have a picture, you can add its picture with this peice.
This is a great poem. I loved the flow, I think that the rhyme is cool. I could see the weather, and the emotion was captured with such skill.
The only thing that I think that I would do is copy the last line of the other verses into the last. I would make it stronger at he end with the sentence.
This is a very beautiful drawing. I am sure that you received a special gift when receiving it. I like to draw, and my broher makes money at it so you can see how it means so much to me. It is drawings like that encourage childrean (like mine).
I hope that there will not be a time in this world where drawing will be replaced with computer grafics.
I think that the kitten in this picture is cute and looks like our cat Harley we call it Harley because the purr on that small cat sounds like a motor of a motorcycle and it has that kind of color on its fur and the cat has the most mood swings on a cat I have seen so this cat looks like Harley thank you 4 sharing this with us.
THis is wonderful, and I should use it to teach my children. I think that this would be great published in local papers during times like these. I love the thought that it brings, and think that somehow we are able to reach that point if we decie to stand tall.
This is a very good poem. It has a good message and flow. I have three children. My two sons have been in hospital many times, and nurses are what makes the stays bareable. YOu can always detect the ones that have burn out because the patients are just patients not people.
I have had nurses that still live in memories in my heart. This is a good tribute for them.
Here is a tought. It would be a nice thing to publish this in your local paper.
Well. Well. being that my ex husband left four times before I threw in the towel. I certainaly can relate to this poem. I have done the same thing in truth. The poem is snappy, well written, and fluent. It also has a clever message within its lines.
Well, I gues I have to give you a 100% acording to my 13 year old batman fan. He never misses and opertunity to be close to him. He wants to know if I can make him a copy. He loves this, and with his ADHD, he sat still while we read this poem together.
Outside of the great rhyme, easy flow, and snappiness, you have created a memory of the two of us reading together.
I have to agree with these words even though they step on many toes. I have lived on the system, and I have worked. I love working more than you could imagine. I put work above my children as I was going through a divorce. I went back even before the change of clothes. I have also gone in to work in the middle of the night..
However, that being said, I can say that I love my children. I have a hard time giving them the things that they want or need. I give them truth. I tell them of my mistakes. I am from a family that has such a hard life, and I teach my children from what I have learned.
One truth that I do know is that if we don't find a way to change things, out children will not have help when they need it.
Thank you for sharing this with us, and I hope that you find a family here at WDC as I have.
Ida
This was a very snappy poem. It has a catchy rhyme. I loved that it can bring smiles to the reader. I think that this would be a great start to create an animal book of rhymes for children. I am goin g to read this to my ten year old son Noah. He would love it.
Well, haven't we all been there. Wanting to give up because of the pain of one love. I love the story behind the poem. It was well written and with a easy flow. I could not find any corrections needed, but when I like a peice I really may miss the mistakes.
Thank you for sharing this with us here at WDC, and hope to read more from you soon.
Ida
This is avery fluent poem. I found it to be a great read with a great message inside it.
I love where you speak of pain, and yet, a gem of hope still there. This is something that we all need to remember. There is always light somewhere inside even when we feel darkest.
The only problem is :
spell check: lemon-ae
and this line seems out of place to me:
Like an oyster with a pearl,
This is a great peice, and when reading my critisim take in to concideration that I have had a head ache for three weeks.
I loved the poem, and hope to see more of your work.
Ida
I love the bounce of this poem. The rhyme makes it be a really fun read. I found the flow easy and made for a interesting read. It has a great message. It shows patience and the need to remember that tomorrow is day that can fix today.
This is a very nice peice. I think of the pie as all the blessings that is being with held from me. That is the great thing about this poem. I am sure different people can relate in different ways. These words are well chosen, and has a easy flow.
This is a great read. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida
This is a beautiful poem. You took me to a lake. Your talent for painting with your words shown brightly at this colorful picture. I have been carried away in a a trance that waited for just the little tug to wake me up. So with this I would like to say this was a very amazing read.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida
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