This is a wonderful poem, and the fluent rhynig pattern makes for a great read. I have a uncle that was in the same war. He drinks a lot now, andpeople talksabout the flash backs of the war. This poem really painted the picture of men that was forsed into killing situations that they really wasn't prepared for.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful poem with us.
Ida
THis s a very good poem. If I had read this poem at valentines, I would have been very loney. You created a picture of a grand admiration that each heart wishes that it had. I think that you have good rhyme. The flow and word choices create a wonderful and touching read.
This is a great poem, and I admire the skills that show throught int he lines of a poem with very few words. It tells of story of a cold lonely heart. We all have been there, but I haven't not ben able to write the emotion in so few words. You were to do that without taking away from the meaning of the peice.
These are beautiful. I am raising two teenagers. I too was a teenager at one time. I respect teenager that has to battle wars that was much different than I had to. I am glad that God has allowed me to remember the emotional years between twelve and twenty. This helps when my "little ones", using the term with a mother's heart, emotional roller coaster.
I remember how my heart broke so many times from family and boyfriends.
Thank you for sharing this well written part of your heart.
Ida
This is beautiful. It is well written. You have chosen just the right words, and you have rhymed them in a very fluent manner. You have taken me back to a time that I loved this strong. I went asleep knowing that we would meet in our dreams, but our dreams would just be our spirits leaving our sleeping bodies to join together until time to wake up.
This is a great poem, and it will touch everyone who visits your poetry.
Where did you get the words for this poem? It is as if you charmed them right out of my heart. I hope that you have found someone since you wrote this poem. Man, can I relate to your words. I was married, and was traded in. lol.. Anyway, I ask God ever since to prepare my "God sent" future husband for his family, but sometimes I look at the glass as empty. There is no half empty on these days.
This poem gave me inspiration that I am not alone on the wait to cross paths with the right person.
This is a great poem. It has a very good rhyming patteren. It had a wonderful flow that kept my attention. The message was something I could relate to.
This poem allows us to know that we are not alone when it comes to pain. We all hurt, and so do others.
There was one mistake that I may have found:
Akin
Should this be A kin.
These are beautiful girls, and I think that I need to comment on their eyes and smiles. Their faces show that they have been raised without any harmful experiences. They really look well rounded and so full of love. It is so encuraging to see them likethis because of worring about my little ones.
This is a great poem. I found one typeo in the early part of the poem. However, as I read on the poem was so good that I forgot the typo. I loved the thought that there is someone out there for us all. I had one hidden in my basement. I love that you covered what love is. Being there for the one you love.
This was a wonderful experience. I opened up my inbox, and I would smile. I felt like singing in the shower. This is a wonderful way to lift spirits. I am so happy to have been a part of it.
I am so sure that there are so many others that you put a smile on there face.
This poem is great. At first I was a little thrown into my own life as the opsite person. I was reading it as the other woman in a married relationship. Then as the end came up. I had to smile. It reminded me of my youth. Maybe what she was actually thinking, but she was only four years older than our marriage was.
I can relate to this poem. Matter-of -fact, I wrote a poem that started with the exact same first lines. I was surprised to see them ther. Of course the rest of my poems was different. This goes to show that we are never alone in our worst loneliness.
I enjoyed the read, and am so glad that you chose to share it with us.
Ida
This was a great poem, and I though that it was a great tribute to a loyal friend. You painted a picture of pain and hope in very few words.
Your description caught my eye, and since I have three children that force me to be a grandmother to two dogs and one cat. (My 10 year old is going to be grand father to his "son's" puppies" If they were to read this they would cry.
Only thing that I noticed that may need attention is although instead of altho
My heart goes out to you. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida
PS if you have a picture, you can add its picture with this peice.
This is a great poem. I loved the flow, I think that the rhyme is cool. I could see the weather, and the emotion was captured with such skill.
The only thing that I think that I would do is copy the last line of the other verses into the last. I would make it stronger at he end with the sentence.
This is a very beautiful drawing. I am sure that you received a special gift when receiving it. I like to draw, and my broher makes money at it so you can see how it means so much to me. It is drawings like that encourage childrean (like mine).
I hope that there will not be a time in this world where drawing will be replaced with computer grafics.
I think that the kitten in this picture is cute and looks like our cat Harley we call it Harley because the purr on that small cat sounds like a motor of a motorcycle and it has that kind of color on its fur and the cat has the most mood swings on a cat I have seen so this cat looks like Harley thank you 4 sharing this with us.
THis is wonderful, and I should use it to teach my children. I think that this would be great published in local papers during times like these. I love the thought that it brings, and think that somehow we are able to reach that point if we decie to stand tall.
This is a very good poem. It has a good message and flow. I have three children. My two sons have been in hospital many times, and nurses are what makes the stays bareable. YOu can always detect the ones that have burn out because the patients are just patients not people.
I have had nurses that still live in memories in my heart. This is a good tribute for them.
Here is a tought. It would be a nice thing to publish this in your local paper.
Well. Well. being that my ex husband left four times before I threw in the towel. I certainaly can relate to this poem. I have done the same thing in truth. The poem is snappy, well written, and fluent. It also has a clever message within its lines.
Well, I gues I have to give you a 100% acording to my 13 year old batman fan. He never misses and opertunity to be close to him. He wants to know if I can make him a copy. He loves this, and with his ADHD, he sat still while we read this poem together.
Outside of the great rhyme, easy flow, and snappiness, you have created a memory of the two of us reading together.
I have to agree with these words even though they step on many toes. I have lived on the system, and I have worked. I love working more than you could imagine. I put work above my children as I was going through a divorce. I went back even before the change of clothes. I have also gone in to work in the middle of the night..
However, that being said, I can say that I love my children. I have a hard time giving them the things that they want or need. I give them truth. I tell them of my mistakes. I am from a family that has such a hard life, and I teach my children from what I have learned.
One truth that I do know is that if we don't find a way to change things, out children will not have help when they need it.
Thank you for sharing this with us, and I hope that you find a family here at WDC as I have.
Ida
This was a very snappy poem. It has a catchy rhyme. I loved that it can bring smiles to the reader. I think that this would be a great start to create an animal book of rhymes for children. I am goin g to read this to my ten year old son Noah. He would love it.
Thank you for sharing this with us.
Ida5
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